Devastated....Beta only 39 today..another chemical

Devastated....Beta only 39 today..another chemical

Chris
Chris

July 25th, 2011, 10:22 pm #1

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
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Joined: May 15th, 2009, 12:50 am

July 25th, 2011, 11:16 pm #2

I'm very sorry. It is devastating to let our guards down, get our hopes up, dare to dream a little with each cycle only to be faced with this kind of result. I know there isn't anything I can say to make it better. But I want you to know that you aren't alone. I've been in your shoes sooooo many times I could have written this very same post.

The best I've ever gotten thus far with 2 different donors is low chemicals. The only pg I ever had was back in 2008 with my OE. That one lasted for just under 8 weeks. Turns out the embie had trisomy 13. I tried OE one more time, doing PGD to eliminate genetic issues and ended up with only one normal blast out of five. I transfered it and got nothing. So, I moved on to DE because surely that would work.

First donor: unproven. I didn't ask for PGD or Array CGH testing, fresh = chemical; 2 frozen transfers = nothing.

Second donor: used vitrified eggs from a "rock star donor" who had gotten every prior recipient pg. This time I asked about genetic testing, but the embryologist was hesitant to potentially damage frozen eggs. Two transfers = nothing.

This last time, I did a shared cycle with a proven donor with 2 full term twin pregnancies under her belt.(I later learned were with gestational carriers, not DE recipient infertile women.) Anyway, I tested the embies and low and behold, only one out of five was normal. The same odds I got 3 years ago with my OEs!

I've been on Intralipids, Lovenox, etc, etc as well. I've even had my uterine lining biopsied and tested (came back normal).

The only thing I can tell you is that I've witnessed the power of perserverance from other ladies who have graduated from the "GREEN" Still TTC board to the "PINK" PG After DE board. Some turned out to have partner sperm issues to address such as DNA Fragmentation. For others, it was a new donor, or the addition of donor sperm even if the partner sperm was OK (the theory is sometimes some eggs and sperm don't make a viable combo). Also test, test, test the embies if you haven't done this before! The stimulation process produces abnormalities, whether the egg comes from a young proven donor or an older, infertile woman.

Best to you.
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Kacee
Kacee

July 25th, 2011, 11:20 pm #3

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
sperm been checked for sperm dna fragmentation? Have you both been checked for DQ Alpha?
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Mrs. M
Mrs. M

July 25th, 2011, 11:38 pm #4

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
it is so devastating. ((hugs)) Take care of yourself. I have one embie left of a single recipient cycle that cost $30K. If the last embie doesn't work I'm definitely moving on the the guarantee/shared risk program at SG.
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Tracey
Tracey

July 26th, 2011, 12:16 am #5

sperm been checked for sperm dna fragmentation? Have you both been checked for DQ Alpha?
I too had MANY chemicals with OE and my DE cycle wasn't stellar. I put DH on supplements for at least 3 months before doing DE to increase our odds in case it was him causing the problem. My DE cycle had 14 eggs, 9 embies (using ICSI)that were: cell - grade
8 2
8 2
7 2
9 4
4 3 (had no growth in 24 hrs)
3 4
(3) 2 4's
I transferred the top 3 and started with twins and ended with a singleton. I originally had plans to only transfer 2 but I had nothing to freeze so took a chance.
I will never know if it was him but the numbers weren't the best even with DE so I suspect it might have been. Put your DH on supps for at least 3 months before retreival.
Good luck, this sucks, I know. I hope the best for you.

Tracey
10 losses, 12 angels
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Chris
Chris

July 26th, 2011, 1:02 am #6

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
It has been awhile, but he has definitely been tested for sperm fragmentation and I believe we even did DQ Alpha at some point. At least tested once and probably multiple times over the years!!

Those of you who have worked with Cooper or know how anal they are, know that they do every test in the world. Although we did our DE with a local clinic, we have worked with Cooper within the past three years for OE and they have done an EXTENSIVE amount of testing on both of us and have uncovered absolutely nothing on DH. Nothing. In fact the centers always comment on how good his analysis looks when he gets his analysis done. They found Factor II on me plus I had one positive LAC and one negative, but nothing else.

The supplementation could not hurt and will only help him so I am going to do that anyway. Thanks for the suggestion. He keeps thinking that it could be him, but I still have my doubts. The donor has three children but she was an unproven donor. She did respond well to the meds and we did have five blasts, however.

What was the supplementation that you used for DH?? Was it the Male Fertility formulation that I have seen some places?

We will probably take a few months off while we try to figure out what to do. I am exhausted and I really need to get this hormone induced weight off before we try again. I just started Medifast again.

Thanks for your words and I am so sorry for your losses/disappointments. It is amazing the courage we find to continue on with this battle. I know that I will not do this again without doing a shared risk program. I am really ticked off right now that I asked about it during my consult and it was poo-pooed like I nothing to worry about with DE. That is such B.S.!!!

This is the only time I wish I was Alexis Stewart and had my mom's money to spend $30k every month until I got a successful cycle. At least she has a baby now. Can't imagine what she spent!!!

Best of luck to everyone! Thanks for your help. Hugs!
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Joined: June 24th, 2009, 11:14 am

July 26th, 2011, 1:17 am #7

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
and finally success on our 5th DE transfer, FET, 3 embryos transferred.
We, too, could not believe it was really happening, one chemical we thought was just bad luck but 2; we thought there was something seriously wrong with me. or DH's sperm was useless. But we used embryos frozen on the same cycle with the second chemical ( so even if the sperm was the problem it was good enough to make one good embryo), and now have the cutest little boy whom we couldn't live without!
We wasted 25k on the first fresh cycle, and got nothing but a chemical and plain negatives on the FETs. We then scraped funds together to go with a shared risk plan (really thought were at this was the long run), and had success on the first FET after the fresh chemical. Yeah, we lost a lot of money when the first donor on the shared risk plan gave us a positive, but believe me; that didn't sting as much as another chemical or negative would have. We we just so happy to finally see a rising beta....
All I can tell you is not to give up. There was supposedly nothing wrong w/ me, and still it took 5 DE transfers to get our little boy. Now we look back and talk about how depressed and miserable we were; and the love we feel for our boy seems overwhelming due to the struggle we had to go thru to have him.
W, too added Lovenox, and finally somehow all the pieces came together. Please don't give up; when you finally have your little miracle, it is so worth the wait!
Good luck to you,

zane
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Chris
Chris

July 26th, 2011, 1:39 am #8

Isn't it amazing that we can forget all what has happened in the past and all the misery we experienced trying to get there with one little miracle. I am so hoping for that!

The one thing that i did decide tonight is to let it go. I need to treat this like a bad breakup and get over it! I am not going to let this cause me another day of misery. It is not worth it.

Thanks again
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Anon7
Anon7

July 26th, 2011, 1:43 am #9

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
(((((Chris))))))

I am so sorry to read this. This whole ordeal is so stressful, and so unfair and painful. I don't know your full story, but even if this were your first try (or is), it doesn't matter. The 'not pregnant' is so devastating. You've gotten some feedback from others who've gone through this same thing.

I pray you are successful soon. I'm very sorry for your pain. I do understand.
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minniet
minniet

July 26th, 2011, 3:11 am #10

I can't believe I am typing this.....

I was told by every doctor that I ever saw that I would have no problem getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term with donor eggs. I put it off for so long not really believing that this was true. I have had several miscarriages with my OE over the years.

My donor was a great responder and we had five blasts. We transferred two in May - low chemical. We transferred the last three a couple of weeks ago - beta went up from 17 to 31 and then only to 39.

The irony of this is that, although I was a few years younger, my OE pregnancies lasted longer than the two chemicals I had with my first try at DE.

I cannot believe that this is happening to me. I am sooo lost and out $30k. I even asked my RE, who I really like, if I should do shared risk. He told me that they stopped doing shared risk because the odds were favoring the clinic so much that it seemed unethical.

This really sucks....The tears are flowing again. How could my pregnancies with my OE last longer than this one. I was on everything....Intralipids, Lovonox, dexamethasone.. you name it.

Unbelievable.
I have had a similar experience to you, with OE and DE. I am so sorry. I was truly in shock and grieved for a long time. I am now starting a new cycle with a new RE and all the works -- which you applied...and I am scared it will happen again to us as well.

There are, however, women on this board, who have gone through more, and are now mothers!

Would you like to join us on the green board?

I am so sorry, I wish I could give you a big hug. It's not fair, and I wish it had not gone this way for you.
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