Anyone with IF issues in early to mid 30's???

Anyone with IF issues in early to mid 30's???

Joined: February 23rd, 2012, 7:57 am

February 24th, 2012, 8:29 pm #1

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
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Joined: November 27th, 2011, 4:22 pm

February 24th, 2012, 11:38 pm #2

I don't fit your criteria perfectly - I'm 37 (not really mid 30s anymore... sob) and don't have endometriosis - but I am struggling with IF. I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure, which basically means my ovaries quit working entirely, when I was 35 (it probably happened long before then, but I ignored the signs).

Trust me, I understand what you're going through. My husband and I met and married in our mid-30s (neither of us has kids) and thought we'd be able to start a family... No luck. I'm not going to lie - it's terrible. I went through many months of tears and anger and depression, feeling like half a woman, afraid my husband wouldn't want me anymore, etc.. It took me a long time to even get to a place where I could discuss other options for having children, so when my ob/gyn talked to me about DE, it was like someone had presented me with a life-line. It took a little longer to convince my hubby, but he came around quickly. I hate that we have to do this, but I also think it's miraculous that it's even an option!

I'm now cycling for the first time and I'm SO excited. I honestly don't care that the egg isn't mine, I'm just thrilled to get the chance to carry a child!! Hang in there. It WILL get better. Focus on the fact that you CAN still have a baby - you just have to use different methods to conceive that baby.

Best of luck to you.
Leigh

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jmassage
jmassage

February 24th, 2012, 11:39 pm #3

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
Gosh, I coulod so identify with your post. I can't say I've been diagnosed with endo, but back in Sept. I was diagnosed with high fsg. 27, so it's pretty high. My mom started peri menopause at 38! So in my case, it is probably genetic. I have been pg 3 times all ending in chemicals. When I got this news back in Sept. it took a real hit on my self worth as a woman. Like you said, I felt like anything but a woman. I couldn't give my DH a child and now I'm more or less told that my ovaries are failing. The only word I kept hearing in my mind though was "menopause". I'm still getting reg. periods, but they have changed quite a bit in the last year. I felt like my body was failing me and I felt like I was failing my DH. Needless to say he never felt this way and continues to remind me of that. I won't lie, this is a difficult journey to be on. But try and remember that we didn't cause this. We are most certainly still women. Very strong ones for that matter. It sucks to be given bad news to do with fertility, but I believe it is a bit more shocking and hard to swallow when you are so young like us. Please, no offense to ANYONE on this board. Try to hang in there and just take things a day at a time. There is trmendous support on this forum, and quite frankly it's the only place I can vent and know that these women TRULY get it. You are in my thoughts.
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Joined: March 25th, 2008, 8:46 pm

February 25th, 2012, 12:18 am #4

When I turned to donor eggs then donor embryo, I had had plenty of time to reconcile myself to my eggs being toast. I am sure in your early 30s getting the news suddenly hits much harder.

Last edited by Blessed_Thistle on February 25th, 2012, 12:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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minniet
minniet

February 25th, 2012, 1:48 am #5

I don't fit your criteria perfectly - I'm 37 (not really mid 30s anymore... sob) and don't have endometriosis - but I am struggling with IF. I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure, which basically means my ovaries quit working entirely, when I was 35 (it probably happened long before then, but I ignored the signs).

Trust me, I understand what you're going through. My husband and I met and married in our mid-30s (neither of us has kids) and thought we'd be able to start a family... No luck. I'm not going to lie - it's terrible. I went through many months of tears and anger and depression, feeling like half a woman, afraid my husband wouldn't want me anymore, etc.. It took me a long time to even get to a place where I could discuss other options for having children, so when my ob/gyn talked to me about DE, it was like someone had presented me with a life-line. It took a little longer to convince my hubby, but he came around quickly. I hate that we have to do this, but I also think it's miraculous that it's even an option!

I'm now cycling for the first time and I'm SO excited. I honestly don't care that the egg isn't mine, I'm just thrilled to get the chance to carry a child!! Hang in there. It WILL get better. Focus on the fact that you CAN still have a baby - you just have to use different methods to conceive that baby.

Best of luck to you.
Leigh
I didn't know it, but I had POF in my early to mid thirties. I remember my first RE talking about DE, that was, what, 8 years ago?

I am the only person in my real life who has taken so long to try to build a family, and we are not even close to there yet.
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MacRita
MacRita

February 25th, 2012, 3:09 am #6

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
Of course, the biggest blow was being told my only option was DE. Then you have the bonus of having hotflashes at your 37th bday, your libido plummet to nothing, reading about your increased risk of osteoporosis...not only did I lose my sexuality, but I felt as though 10 years of my life was stolen.

This whole experience has made me evaluate what it means to be female, what it means to age as a woman in westn (american) culture, and what it means to be a mother. It's a lot to smack you in the face all at once.



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Joined: December 21st, 2011, 7:41 pm

February 25th, 2012, 3:13 am #7

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
Been trying to get pregnant since I was 32 - didn't think I was too old... Age 33 my doctor said I have "diminished ovarian reserve" - I could try IVF, but with a predicted success rate of under 5% we decided to move forward with DE and I'm cycling now at age 34. So, we have different issues that brought us here - but I can of course totally relate - this was a huge shock to me. All of my tests had been good up until an AMH was borderline low and then I failed a clomid challenge test. It's been very tough - but I haven't had endless tears - I'm just looking forward to getting our family started, however it happens.... seeing an infertility therapist once a month has been really helpful! The first session I was a mess, and much better after that!
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Joined: February 23rd, 2012, 7:57 am

February 25th, 2012, 3:42 am #8

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
It's nice to know I'm not alone and that there are people out there that truly understand my pain. There seems to be very little support in NZ as it is still in it's very early years here.

It seems that I don't really know enough about my condition as some of the terms you guys use seem familiar, but to be honest, after hearing the Dr say we had to use a donor, that's about all I could digest in one go.

I know that low ovarian reserve is familiar. Does that automatically go hand in hand with early menopause? I can certainly relate to the low if no sex drive, but have put this down to the fact that our whole sex life has revolved around my cycle. Now I'm freaking out! My mum had some IF issues and hit menopause a bit early too.

Aaaaaahhhh!!!
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Sekura
Sekura

February 26th, 2012, 6:48 pm #9

And could have pretty much written Green Elephant's post. I've been through one round of IVF (about a month ago), and it was a horrible failure--my eggs are fried. I was diagnosed with Dimished Ovarian Reserve (similar to Premature Ovarian Failure, just not as far along) about 8 months ago, and I got the DE speech from my dr at that time.

Now I'm doing my DE research, finding a clinic, choosing between financial options. I think knowing 8 months ago that this was likely has helped; I've adjusted to the information, and I'm dealing with it. There's definitely been some crying, but its not the end of the world. And I'll never have a genetic child...at least you do have the one.
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Joined: October 13th, 2011, 12:43 am

February 27th, 2012, 1:20 am #10

I've noticed that there are a lot of women here with mainly age issues causing IF. I completely understand that this is a major issue and that you guys experience the same pain as someone in my position. I have no intention of upsetting anyone, but I'm wondering if there are any DE mum's out there who have IF issues caused by recurring endometriosis and scar tissue and are closer in age to me.

I'm struggling at the moment with the thought that I am now half a woman if at all, due to the fact that I can't have my own child at such a young age (34). If anyone can relate, please post. I would love to hear ways to deal with this. I'm fighting tears all day long and just hang out for bed time, when I get 6 or so hours to forget about it.

I should mention that I have a 3 yr old miracle that was conceived 2 months shy of my first IVF cycle, so I just assumed that we could have another one either naturally or with IVF, only to find that this is not the case. I'm so gutted and struggling to get through the day without tears.
 
So, my husband and I have been living with infertility since I was 28 and he 30. I always passed all my tests. My HSG showed slow spill but since my tubes were open and all else was good and my husband's sperm failed all tests so they assumed male factor. We were initially diagnosed male factor and tried 5 IUIs then 3 IVFs with own eggs.

Then we gave up.

And I finally met a pelvic pain specialist who took my claims of endometriosis seriously. Very long story short I had surgery and was considered one of the most advanced untreated cases Dr. Marvel had ever seen at age 34. I lost both tubes, one ovary and a large area of bowel. He swore that while my REs never thought this was a problem for fertility that he thought I could never have sustained a pregnancy.

So, once I recovered from that surgery and a bunch of complications I used the 2 frozen blasts from my last cycle. BFN resulted.

Then my RE said he'd consider me a candidate for DE and would qualify me for shared risk. At the time I said we were done. Then said we'd try adoption. Then researched both and decided DE was for me since it is basically a process I'm really familiar with and would be even easier on my body than when I was using my own eggs I decided to go for it.

My first cycle used frozen DE and resulted in BFN. Today I had Twinkle and Sparkle 2 9 cell embryos day 3 transferred. I'm hopeful. They seem to be the best quality yet. I will say that with both DE cycles (because we did frozen and shared we only started with 6 and 7 eggs and when I ended up with only one or two available for transfer I momentarily wondered if my own eggs had been so bad after all -- but only momentarily

So, here are two things I can say. Once I switched to DE the process and results became easier to handle. I didn't feel personally responsible for failure when they called last time (as I had before)... hope for a positive beta this time! And I feel better than I won't pass the genes that got me here on to my child.

I will say that even at 36 people make comments like "why'd you wait so long?" "what did you expect" so I then tell them the very long story of everything I've been through -- in painful detail -- taking as much of their time as I can -- and then say so F off. Brings me great satisfaction. PS I also don't think waiting too long is a crime either. But the fact that that is what everyone assumes irritates me.

Warm thoughts your way...
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