advice? another failure...

advice? another failure...

hopeful7608
hopeful7608

April 25th, 2012, 2:01 pm #1

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
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Joined: May 15th, 2009, 12:50 am

April 25th, 2012, 3:06 pm #2

Sorry if you have already shared this in other posts... Can you outline what tests you and your DH have done? Recurrent m/c, Endometrial Function Test, sperm DNA-frag, also have you used CGH on the embryos?

For an east coast clinic idea: I've been a patient at CT Fertility. They seem to have a decent-sized donor pool. They probably aren't the cheapest option though.
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Joined: September 13th, 2008, 5:13 pm

April 25th, 2012, 3:12 pm #3

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
First, I take it you are in the Boston area then or am I reading too much into your comment about being done in Boston? Also, you don't say how much this being your last cycle is a financial versus emotional decision, or both. The very fact that you are considering CCRM makes me thing you're doing OK with the cash, but there, too, I may be assuming too much.

Anyway, so many women here, and women with gnarly IF histories, seem to have had good experiences with RBA in Atlanta that I would consider them for someone in their age limit, which I believe is 50 yrs and 364 days. That is not personal experience, sure, but I expect you'll have others who say the same. That is not driving distance from Boston, if that's where you are, but it's probably 1.5-2 hrs in the same time zone.

I am sorry things have been so hard for you. If you really thinking this will be your last cycle, then I'd pull out the stops on a few items. First, make a proven donor your top priority. Second, if there is any question about DH's sperm, or even if there isn't if he's over 40, consider using DS. Yeah, my kids don't look anything like me, but I do have kids, and my kids might not have looked anything like me anyway.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)

Last edited by maggie1961 on April 25th, 2012, 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: February 6th, 2012, 1:26 am

April 25th, 2012, 4:05 pm #4

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I, too, just had a failed transfer (using proven de/ds) with a gestational carrier after a m/c on our first transfer. I'm considering testing the remaining embryos before the next transfer. One thing you might consider is working with one of the larger clinics that offer special programs, such as shared risk. I know there are differing opinions about these places, but it might be something you would want to consider. Shady Grove, in metro DC, is one of the places that offers shared risk and has in-house donors. I didn't end up using them only because my GC couldn't travel easily, but during the process I found them to be very supportive.
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Violet
Violet

April 25th, 2012, 4:30 pm #5

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
So sorry this has happened again. You need a break! I applaud your strength.

I have a friend who went through a lot with OE and DE and found luck at RBA on the first shot. Another friend who just did OE with many losses and also had luck at RBA on the first try of DE. It's worth a look. I think the appt. cost them $250 and they do a phone consult that's pretty extensive.

Who did you work with in Boston if you don't mind me asking.

Violet
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Mrs. M
Mrs. M

April 25th, 2012, 5:18 pm #6

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
I'm a Boston girl too. After nearly three years of failures we moved on to Shady Grove Fertility in MD for the guarantee program. In Boston we got only three day embies with an ultraproven donor that were very good to excellent in quality. Got one BFP but beta dropped on second test and I miscarried. First cycle at SG in 3:1 program we got six mature eggs, five fertilized, four made it to day five, and we transferred 1 AA blastocyst. I'm now 6 weeks 4 days, had great betas and HB detected on first ultrasound. SG made the out of town cycling very easy. In hindsight it was actually easier than Boston cycles. Communication with SG nurses was great. It is less than a one hour flight from Providence to BWI. And you cannot beat the money back guarantee!
Take care and allow yourself some time to heal.
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Joined: July 4th, 2011, 3:21 am

April 25th, 2012, 5:51 pm #7

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
Sorry you are experiencing this loss again...

I had to move on from DE to realizing that my child is waiting for me as a donated/adopted embryo. I only say that as a remainder that there are many paths that might lead to your child.

Be kind to yourself

Peace,

CL

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Joined: August 18th, 2010, 6:45 pm

April 25th, 2012, 9:32 pm #8

So I hate to bring more bad luck/news to this board but we had our second FET that came cack negative this week after another glowing report of "beautiful 7 and 8 cell embryos" day of transfer (ultimately we have failed 1 fresh and 2 frozen transfers with experienced donor). We did everything this time including intralipids and steroids. So we are done in Boston and I need help with the next step. We are not ready to give up and wonder whether it was the lab, bad luck or just me.
Options are try again with CCRM where we have more confidence in the lab although their donor pool is somewhat limited. We already have an appointment on 5/14 or do we try somewhere else on the East Coast where we could drive and would not be so logistically challenging?
I would love to hear any advice, recommendations or good/bad experiences. Likely our last try so it really needs to work! Thank you all so much. I never thought it would be this hard....
I have been in this position too (I know that doesn't help). I would look at everything over again. I combed the threads here and got a laundry list to go over with my RE before starting another DE cycle. At the very least I got him to see that I wasn't going to take a failure lying down.
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