On The "Battle of The Sexes"

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Joined: May 20th, 2013, 8:30 am

November 9th, 2017, 11:31 am #1

It appears to be some sort of cosmic joke that women do not understand men, and men do not understand women, hence the never-ending, so-called "battle of the sexes" .

Years ago it became apparent to me that men and women in general do not communicate in the same manner , hence: a lot of miscommunication. For years this "bugged" me.

Two books that I have found to be enormously helpful concerning this issue are :

"Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps-How We're Different and What to Do About It"
https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/Search ... &kn=&isbn=

..written by a married couple who seem to manage OK, and who consistently point out that the latest research shows that fundamental differences in men and women and how they communicate/interact are genetically decided pre-birth via hormonal influences, and those differences lead to general consequences, for example: women are usually very adept at "multi-tasking" whereas men in general are unable to do this effectively.

This [ natural multi-tasking ability] is why you'll see a group of females talking on their phones and simultaneously holding serious conversation with 2 or 3 other females in their physical presence, who are also talking on their phones at the same time as they talk to other females in their physical presence. [To me, and apparently most men, this is a completely alien idea- I just cannot get my mind around it - but still I am now forced to face the reality that this is how most females seem to "work"] .

On the plus side, it helps to know that females in general have just as much of the same problem understanding standard male behavior. For example, "ogling" other females in general, even while out with a particular female is, in fact perfectly normal behavior for males- something I was happy to learn :- ) . And, as it happens, females indulge in exactly the same "ogling" behavior, they are just more subtle about it most of the time, using their peripheral vision to "ogle" with, as opposed to the head turn/full on stare of the typical male.

So the next time you are out with your "better half", or, if not married, with your latest "ho" or "tart" :-) , and you are caught ogling the cleavage of another "tart" [ as I often have been ], calmly explain to her that it's "natural" for you to do so, and can show her the proof [ i.e. the book linked above]. I'm sure that will go down well! :-). Maybe you'll need to catch her doing her more sneaky ogling to make your point :-).

......and the second book is "The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy":
https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/Search ... &kn=&isbn=

....written by a female "expert" on the subject of body language. What this book revealed to me was:

1] that women [and men] are constantly communicating non-verbally, via body position, posture, walk style, facial expression etc. In fact, far more so than is done via actual speech. [ it's also used in combination with speech]

2] women in general are much more sensitive to reading and using this "body language" , and with employing it to "speak" to others, without saying anything verbally.

Thus it behooves the young male interested in women [and, I suppose, the male interested in other males], to study up and learn the body language signals that females [and males] constantly put out there, many times unknown to themselves, and in some cases deliberately [by females, usually apparently]. Believe me, females _are_ constantly communicating their thoughts to us males, they just ain't using their mouths to do the communicating, so we are not "listening" to their subtle body language, and remain "deaf' to it for the most part .

Maybe these two books will help some frustrated males here. They were a real eye-opener for me. I wish I'd known about this body language stuff 30 years ago - it seems that _it_, rather than the spoken word, is the main language used amongst human beings worldwide.

Once you learn the various common signs/signals [often universal and cross -cultural], and start to observe them in day to day situations; although its not an infallible "read" on a person, the signals can often give a fairly accurate indication of a females interest level in a particular male.

And, surprise surprise, it turns out that the female [via body language], is most often the real initiator of any "friendly" interaction, its just that us males have not cottoned on consciously to their subtle signals, and thus wrongly conclude that it is us males that usually make the first move, when in fact, our "first move" most often is merely a response to the females initiation via subtle [yet only subconsciously understood by the male] body language signals.

Regards, onebornfree
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