"There's no need to call me sir Professor."
"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."
"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?"
[Hermione] "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"
"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down on his parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mysical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."
"What's that?" said Ron, pointing at a large dish of some sort of shellfish stew that stood beside a large steak-and-kidney pudding.
"Bouillabaisse," said Hermione.
"Bless you," said Ron.
"I'll make Goyle do lines, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, mimed writing in midair. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside."
"'Slug Club,'" repeated Ron with a sneer worthy of Malfoy. "It's pathetic. Well, I hope you enjoy your party. Why don't you try hooking up with McLaggen, then Slughorn can make you King and Queen Slug--"
"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufty to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?"
"Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
"Ron," said Hermione in a dignified voice, "you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet."
"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us." -George
"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."
"--but you get these massive pus-filled boils too," said George, "and we haven't worked out how to get rid of them yet."
"I can't see any boils," said Ron, staring at the twins.
"No, well, you wouldn't," said Fred, "they're not in a place we generally display to the public --"
"-- but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the --"
"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy--"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you--"
"So top grade's O for 'Outstanding,'" she [Hermione] was saying, "and then there's A-"
"No, E," George corrected her, "E for 'Exceeds Expectations.' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."
"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
"...I took a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I had never seen before, containing a really rather magnificent collection of chamberpots. When I went back to investigate more closely, I discovered that the room had vanished. But I must keep an eye out for it. Possibly it is only accessible at five thirty in the morning. Or it may only appear at the quarter moon - or when the seeker has an exceptionally full bladder."
"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."
"I've been able to see them ever since my first year here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."
"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."
"Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine, too?"
"The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working from within to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark magic and gum disease."
"I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look at Umbridge directly in the eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher."
"Well, usually when a person shakes their head," said McGonagall coldly, "they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans --"