Weighting of compliments/support

Create or take one of our popular polls here.

Are you more likely to value encouragement and suggestions more highly, if they come from a guy whose beard you admire? I'm limiting this to yes/no - but feel free to qualify your answer any way you want.

Yes
16
59%
No
11
41%
 
Total votes: 27

Weighting of compliments/support

gato
Beard Titan
Joined: 04 May 2014, 11:36

09 Dec 2016, 19:31 #1

When I first joined this board, I remember that some of the members who had pretty incredible beards encouraged me with my fledgling beard as it was developing.  I hoped that my beard would turn out half as nicely as theirs had and so the compliments and support were really valuable to me in my journey.

I have seen this on others' threads as well, where guys say something along the lines of 'thanks for the great comments - it's really great coming from guys with such amazing beards'.


On the one hand, this makes sense; it's great to get positive feedback from those whom we admire. Encouragement from a professional musician or sports star can make a huge difference to someone just starting out.


On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics. 
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DanoFromCO
Beard Titan
Joined: 15 Oct 2005, 04:49

09 Dec 2016, 20:09 #2

I would slightly disagree with this notion:

On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics.
Yes, you are constrained by your genetics, but a "beard" is much more than a bunch of random hairs on a face. A guy with a "great beard" may very well have gone through the journey with plenty of self-doubt along the way. In that case, of course he has more "value" to contribute than a guy that has never grown a beard. He may also have learned that patience is a huge factor or that one can go through phases where it will look good for awhile, then uneven or messy, only to look good again with additional length. A guy with a "great beard" has likely learned a lot during this journey and found a good balance.


One other factor is the mental challenge that comes with the transformation. This is probably as big a factor in guys shaving as anything. If they see a guy they admire that has clearly gotten past the insecurities that go with the alteration of one's appearance, then the new beard grower will probably believe he can do it too.
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Slybeard
Beard Wizard
Joined: 31 Oct 2013, 00:18

11 Dec 2016, 14:17 #3

I don't think the complements are more valued because the come from a guy that "can" grow a great beard, I thing they are valued because they come from a guy that "has" grown a beard, great or not so great. Guys that have never grown, or only grown stubble, really do not understand the journey. I know I did not understand before I grew long.
Last edited by Slybeard on 12 Dec 2016, 16:56, edited 1 time in total.
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imaginary
Beard Legend
Joined: 20 Jul 2010, 13:55

20 Dec 2016, 00:54 #4

I think the reason supportive comments seem more valid from people who have had grown beards is because anyone who is new can see the results of their experience. One can see they know what they post about.
"Be yourself. There's no one who does it quite like you."
Kevin Max
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BladeAverse
Beard Master
Joined: 19 Apr 2017, 05:42

09 Oct 2017, 04:54 #5

I would answer this question by saying yes, I do value supportive and encouraging comments from guys with admirable beards more than others, but not by a wide margin. I think the main reason I say this is because, wearing my short beard for a long time, it was pretty mainstream ordinary, and I didn't get all that many comments on it. When I did get comments or compliments from other guys, they were often from guys who followed up the compliment by saying something about wishing they could grow a good beard, but they couldn't for one reason or another. Occasionally that left me wondering whether they were the only ones who thought my beard was good enough to look OK.

So, when a guy who has a beard that I admire pays me a compliment or an encouraging word, I can accept it without that qualification in the back of my mind: "yeah, but he only thinks my beard is good because he can't grow one that's worth having at all."
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baardhooft
Beard Elite
Joined: 10 Oct 2013, 23:46

29 Oct 2017, 23:44 #6

DanoFromCO wrote: I would slightly disagree with this notion:
On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics.
Yes, you are constrained by your genetics, but a "beard" is much more than a bunch of random hairs on a face. A guy with a "great beard" may very well have gone through the journey with plenty of self-doubt along the way. In that case, of course he has more "value" to contribute than a guy that has never grown a beard. He may also have learned that patience is a huge factor or that one can go through phases where it will look good for awhile, then uneven or messy, only to look good again with additional length. A guy with a "great beard" has likely learned a lot during this journey and found a good balance.


One other factor is the mental challenge that comes with the transformation. This is probably as big a factor in guys shaving as anything. If they see a guy they admire that has clearly gotten past the insecurities that go with the alteration of one's appearance, then the new beard grower will probably believe he can do it too.
Not only that, but a guy with a great beard also has invested time and effort into getting his beard to look that way. Just like a haircut, a styled beard takes a lot of care. I've had an untouched yeard and a trimmed one, the difference in appearance between the too is significant, even though the length might be the same. The unkempt beard was a product of my first journey, no experience whatsoever with growing a beard. After you get more used to it and actually start becoming involved you develop a maintenance routine.

And indeed, there is also the fact of the insecurities. Most guys I talk too are not very certain about growing it out and I've been asked by many beardcurious guys on how to grow theirs.

I remember seeing a guy with a full beard for the first time and just being in awe. Even to this date, no matter the length of my beard, a good big beard will still have that effect on me.

A beard is not only just hair (well, it is), but there is a lot that comes with it, and everyone who has a "big" one has been through the process.
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JoeDeeCee
Beard Friendly
Joined: 04 Dec 2017, 13:59

13 Dec 2017, 19:47 #7

As someone that has never grown a beard and currently growing through the process I greatly appreciate feedback from guys that’s been on the journey. I’ve always been told I couldn’t grow one and accepted that at an early age. To hear guys that’s been told the same and have similar issues to my thin, wispy, patchy beard say they encountered everything I’m going through provides the motivation to stay away from the razor.

From reading through countless threads of success stories one thing is very apparent. The guys that can’t have full/dense beards, in almost every case, have options for a certain style of beard that they never knew they had.

I’ve also noticed that honest opinions are always given and most posters won’t bs someone. It takes experience in beards to see strength and weaknesses that could contribute to a fantastic but specific style. We come here because we aren’t experienced and rely on guys that know what to look for and offer suggestions.


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