Weighting of compliments/support

Create or take one of our popular polls here.

Weighting of compliments/support

gato
Beard Titan
gato
Beard Titan
Joined: May 4th, 2014, 11:36 am

December 9th, 2016, 7:31 pm #1

Are you more likely to value encouragement and suggestions more highly, if they come from a guy whose beard you admire? I'm limiting this to yes/no - but feel free to qualify your answer any way you want.

Total votes: 37
21(57%)
16(43%)

When I first joined this board, I remember that some of the members who had pretty incredible beards encouraged me with my fledgling beard as it was developing.  I hoped that my beard would turn out half as nicely as theirs had and so the compliments and support were really valuable to me in my journey.

I have seen this on others' threads as well, where guys say something along the lines of 'thanks for the great comments - it's really great coming from guys with such amazing beards'.


On the one hand, this makes sense; it's great to get positive feedback from those whom we admire. Encouragement from a professional musician or sports star can make a huge difference to someone just starting out.


On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics. 
Quote
Like
Share

DanoFromCO
Beard Titan
DanoFromCO
Beard Titan
Joined: October 15th, 2005, 4:49 am

December 9th, 2016, 8:09 pm #2

I would slightly disagree with this notion:

On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics.
Yes, you are constrained by your genetics, but a "beard" is much more than a bunch of random hairs on a face. A guy with a "great beard" may very well have gone through the journey with plenty of self-doubt along the way. In that case, of course he has more "value" to contribute than a guy that has never grown a beard. He may also have learned that patience is a huge factor or that one can go through phases where it will look good for awhile, then uneven or messy, only to look good again with additional length. A guy with a "great beard" has likely learned a lot during this journey and found a good balance.


One other factor is the mental challenge that comes with the transformation. This is probably as big a factor in guys shaving as anything. If they see a guy they admire that has clearly gotten past the insecurities that go with the alteration of one's appearance, then the new beard grower will probably believe he can do it too.
Patience shall be rewarded!

New beard growers: Check out the Rules of Beard Acquisition.
To upload and post pictures, here is a tutorial.
Do you believe in these Common Beard Myths?
Quote
Like
Share

Slybeard
Beard Titan
Slybeard
Beard Titan
Joined: October 31st, 2013, 12:18 am

December 11th, 2016, 2:17 pm #3

I don't think the complements are more valued because the come from a guy that "can" grow a great beard, I think they are valued because they come from a guy that "has" grown a beard, great or not so great. Guys that have never grown, or only grown stubble, really do not understand the journey. I know I did not understand before I grew long.
Last edited by Slybeard on January 16th, 2018, 9:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Quote
Like
Share

imaginary
Beard Legend
imaginary
Beard Legend
Joined: July 20th, 2010, 1:55 pm

December 20th, 2016, 12:54 am #4

I think the reason supportive comments seem more valid from people who have had grown beards is because anyone who is new can see the results of their experience. One can see they know what they post about.
"Be yourself. There's no one who does it quite like you."
Kevin Max
Quote
Like
Share

BladeAverse
Beard Legend
BladeAverse
Beard Legend
Joined: April 19th, 2017, 5:42 am

October 9th, 2017, 4:54 am #5

I would answer this question by saying yes, I do value supportive and encouraging comments from guys with admirable beards more than others, but not by a wide margin. I think the main reason I say this is because, wearing my short beard for a long time, it was pretty mainstream ordinary, and I didn't get all that many comments on it. When I did get comments or compliments from other guys, they were often from guys who followed up the compliment by saying something about wishing they could grow a good beard, but they couldn't for one reason or another. Occasionally that left me wondering whether they were the only ones who thought my beard was good enough to look OK.

So, when a guy who has a beard that I admire pays me a compliment or an encouraging word, I can accept it without that qualification in the back of my mind: "yeah, but he only thinks my beard is good because he can't grow one that's worth having at all."
Quote
Like
Share

baardhooft
Beard Elite
baardhooft
Beard Elite
Joined: October 10th, 2013, 11:46 pm

October 29th, 2017, 11:44 pm #6

DanoFromCO wrote: I would slightly disagree with this notion:
On the other hand, just because a guy can grow a great beard doesn't mean that his input is of any more value than anyone else's - even on the topic of beard growing.  Growing facial hair, after all, is largely defined by our genetics.
Yes, you are constrained by your genetics, but a "beard" is much more than a bunch of random hairs on a face. A guy with a "great beard" may very well have gone through the journey with plenty of self-doubt along the way. In that case, of course he has more "value" to contribute than a guy that has never grown a beard. He may also have learned that patience is a huge factor or that one can go through phases where it will look good for awhile, then uneven or messy, only to look good again with additional length. A guy with a "great beard" has likely learned a lot during this journey and found a good balance.


One other factor is the mental challenge that comes with the transformation. This is probably as big a factor in guys shaving as anything. If they see a guy they admire that has clearly gotten past the insecurities that go with the alteration of one's appearance, then the new beard grower will probably believe he can do it too.
Not only that, but a guy with a great beard also has invested time and effort into getting his beard to look that way. Just like a haircut, a styled beard takes a lot of care. I've had an untouched yeard and a trimmed one, the difference in appearance between the too is significant, even though the length might be the same. The unkempt beard was a product of my first journey, no experience whatsoever with growing a beard. After you get more used to it and actually start becoming involved you develop a maintenance routine.

And indeed, there is also the fact of the insecurities. Most guys I talk too are not very certain about growing it out and I've been asked by many beardcurious guys on how to grow theirs.

I remember seeing a guy with a full beard for the first time and just being in awe. Even to this date, no matter the length of my beard, a good big beard will still have that effect on me.

A beard is not only just hair (well, it is), but there is a lot that comes with it, and everyone who has a "big" one has been through the process.
Quote
Like
Share

JoeDeeCee
Beard Friendly
JoeDeeCee
Beard Friendly
Joined: December 4th, 2017, 1:59 pm

December 13th, 2017, 7:47 pm #7

As someone that has never grown a beard and currently growing through the process I greatly appreciate feedback from guys that’s been on the journey. I’ve always been told I couldn’t grow one and accepted that at an early age. To hear guys that’s been told the same and have similar issues to my thin, wispy, patchy beard say they encountered everything I’m going through provides the motivation to stay away from the razor.

From reading through countless threads of success stories one thing is very apparent. The guys that can’t have full/dense beards, in almost every case, have options for a certain style of beard that they never knew they had.

I’ve also noticed that honest opinions are always given and most posters won’t bs someone. It takes experience in beards to see strength and weaknesses that could contribute to a fantastic but specific style. We come here because we aren’t experienced and rely on guys that know what to look for and offer suggestions.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote
Like
Share

Triibeard
Beard Wizard
Triibeard
Beard Wizard
Joined: February 27th, 2013, 6:23 am

December 28th, 2017, 3:07 am #8

Any sincere compliment is gratefully received. Those received from a fellow bearded gentlemen are appreciated for the weight of pogonophilic understanding and experience behind them.
Triibeard's Forty (that's four-zero!) years of being bearded    (Including the recent journey from a short- to a long-beard)Introducing LEGO-Sheriff Triibeard     (The origin story for our polymeric polychromatic hero)
Sheriff Triibeard and The Case of the Missing Beard Balm   (In search of that scoundrel RiffRaff)
Sheriff Triibeard and the Masked Italian Financier   (Who is that masked man?)
Sheriff Triibeard and the Hermit Hoarder    (Consequences of acquisitiveness)
Sheriff Triibeard's own website: www.triibeard.com with visits from 16 countries so far. Thank You!


In a world of shorn faces, it is our privilege to offer those around us the exquisite opportunity to know a gentleman with a beard.
Quote
Like
Share

Beeks
Beard Friendly
Beeks
Beard Friendly
Joined: October 19th, 2017, 4:37 pm

May 8th, 2018, 12:58 am #9

Hey Gato

I think you take what you want from it

Personally through this growth process I have sought out bearded folk with similar growth to my own..someone who I can compare with realistically rather than someone who has achieved in a month what has taken me 6 months to grow

Regardless of that fact though I value ANYBODY’S encouragement..man woman child..animal vegetable mineral..for the simple fact that it motivates you to keep growing

I got my first compliment in the real world around a month ago from another bearded man in a bar..this was after 6+ months full of self doubt..it was genuinely like an injection of confidence into my veins..I had another this weekend..again I was so happy..encouragement comes in many guises but it all helps..It doesn’t have to be the guy with the Billy Gibbons beard


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote
Like
Share