Ongoing and completed round robin fics.

The NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT Race! - COMPLETE

Quinn
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Nov 8th, '16, 05:21 #1

Time for a new Round Robin!!! The next in the queue is our J/B take on the reality show, The NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT Race.

Summary: The Jaime's FACIAL HAIR FOR STROKING Race follows twelve teams (with different kinds of relationships and from regions around Westeros) as they travel to exotic locales, compete in really stupid challenges, and forge relationships both treacherous and wuvvly!

This one has RULES. It's about organization and following a specific structure, like a fic mad lib
  • Each entry can be up to 1,000 words. This is a Mod-AU.
  • Each entry must only deal with the specific event outliROBERT'S SECRET LOVER in the table below.
  • Each entry must be in a POV not used in the previous TWO entries :-D
  • This fic will have 42 entries.
  • The “race” lasts for 21 days.
  • Each new location is up to the writer of the next location entry.
  • Clue Challenges mean that the Host speaks to all the teams and gives them a card with a clue to a specific spot nearby. When the spot is found, someone there gives the team directions to the nightly lodging, but only after the team completes a challenge. These challenges could require teams to gather a number of items (scavenger hunt style), to solve a puzzle, to eat something disgusting (!), or to accomplish a task such as a learning a local dance or performing a ritual. When teams complete the challenge and receive their directions, they race to the lodging location.
  • The elimination races deal with this segment, which can be madcap or slogging, and the last team to arrive at the lodging location is eliminated.
  • The overnights can describe anything that happens at the lodging spot!
  • The cycle begins again the next “day.”
Cast:

Your Host, Petyr Baelish!

Brienne Tarth and Tyrion Lannister - WINNERS


Sequence of Events:
42The After Show!!!



I write J/B fic: Ao3 / I re-blog other people's fandom pics: Tumblr
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Quinn
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Nov 8th, '16, 05:22 #2

I write J/B fic: Ao3 / I re-blog other people's fandom pics: Tumblr
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december13
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Nov 8th, '16, 05:41 #3



Love the idea, lovr that you're taking dibs!

And I will love the day when Brienne and Cunt split up!!!
I was once a Bath Steamer!

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Quinn
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Nov 8th, '16, 07:30 #4

Entry #1 - 783 Words

Petyr Baelish had the creepiest smile.

Why couldn’t the host be someone pleasant, like that one chesty woman from the weather report? Tildy? Hilda?

Jaime rocked back and forth on the heels of his sturdy bespoke boots, still wondering how Tyrion had managed to talk him into going on this “sublime geographical adventure.” On television. As a team.

Oh yes, it was because Tyrion had, one too many times, accused his sad, pathetic, workaholic older brother of having no life experience. Seven hells, Jaime had life experience. Maybe not optimal, ideal experience, but he was no Oldtown library nerd!

So there he was at the starting line of The NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT Race Season Seventy-Eight. Tyrion stood beside Jaime with a filled-to-bursting backpack and a half-drunk grin twisting his features. Tyrion could run surprisingly fast for a dwarf, but Jaime worried anyway. If he hadn’t agreed to this mad whim, Tyrion would have wrangled his “man” Bronn into partnering, and even Jaime had no idea exactly what Bronn really did. Nothing good, that’s for sure.

Petyr Baelish smiled wider, gesturing to the twelve yellow pillars flanking him, six on each side. “Teams, are you ready to begin this journey of a lifetime?”

Half the teams, maybe, shouted “Yes!” with mixed levels of enthusiasm.

“Cut!” one of the cameramen called. “Petyr, the lighting has changed. Give us ten.”

Petyr Baelish’s smile instantly transformed into a laser-focused death glare. He stalked away toward a white crew tent.

Jaime relaxed.

Tyrion began to pace. “I want to start! These delays are making me crazy. We have to beat everyone.”

“You realize every delay is purposeful? They’re trying to rile us up so we make mistakes.” Jaime scanned the crew who seemed to be doing nothing to adjust the lighting.

Tyrion plopped on the ground and sighed. They were all standing in the middle of Tycho Nestoris Memorial Park in King’s Landing, near the Blackwater with the expansive city unfolding behind them.

Jaime paced in a slow arc around his brother, examining the other teams. His competition, because if he had to partake of this insanity, he’d bloody well win it.

An old man who looked as if he aspired to the aesthetic of “mummy” was hunched near a younger man who had to be an equally ferret-faced relative. Probably a son.

A sleazy young man was draped over a slightly-less-sleazy young woman who was definitely Tyrion’s type. Female, two breasts, probably a call girl.

Jaime had watched past seasons of the show in preparation, so he could easily identify the “dude friends” team. The portly one had his nose buried in a map, even though no one knew where they were going, and the beady-eyed one seemed to be in a state of anxiety as he twiddled his thumbs. Sam and Bert. The portly one was definitely a Sam. No other option.

Then he spotted Hyle Hunt. Jaime knew that smug bastard’s face from every grocery line. “Fading Male Model: Has Sweet Sleep Gotten Him Again?”

Jaime hated male models. On principle. Who in the world would partner with such as ass?

Oh.

Jaime spotted her, standing so far from Hunt that their connection had to be thin at best. The woman was absurdly tall, taller than Hunt himself, probably taller than Jaime though not by much. She wore the most delightful scowl, cringing into herself and blushing profusely. It made her cheeks ruddy. She was glaringly unattractive. Must be a sister or something.

Hunt stretched his hip flexors in front of a camera to show off his pathetic package. He lunged toward the woman whose eyes snapped up.
Jaime could see their deep blue color shine in the sunlight. What lovely eyes…

“Hey babes, don’t stand like that,” Hunt declared. “You look like an aurochs.”

Jaime felt fire burn in his veins as he watched the woman shield her eyes and turn away. He took a step toward her.

“And…we’re back!” a crewman shouted. “End line, Petyr. Teams, this is your cue.”

Jaime barely had time to resume his stance on the line.

Baelish had returned and now faced the camera. “Teams! Get ready…get set…go!”

Jaime ran after Tyrion on pure instinct, making sure no one ran into them while Tyrion grabbed the yellow envelope from the caddy attached to their assigned pillar. The sound of ripping paper was all around, and Tyrion grabbed his arm as they raced toward a waiting black SUV.

“Skagos!” Tyrion shouted as he tumbled into the vehicle. “That’s where the old cannibals came from!”

“Skagos?” Jaime mumbled, but his eyes were on the tall blonde tree with the eyes until the car door closed and they were off to the airport.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Next Entry should be #2 and can't be in Jaime POV!!!



I write J/B fic: Ao3 / I re-blog other people's fandom pics: Tumblr
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 11:21 #5

NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT, Quinn, love all of it.

So, just for clarification - I have only ever watched like 2 episodes (not even the entire thing) SORRY - the upcoming chapter would then already be in Skagos to then get a more specific location in Skagos where the challenge then takes place, is that correct?

The other thing I wanted to ask: how long do you have time until you called dibs?

Because I would like to type something up, but I gotta get groceries first.
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IsolaCaramella
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Nov 8th, '16, 11:24 #6

I have next on #2

This is my most favoritest (I make up words how much I love it) reality show ever
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bergamot
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Joined: Sep 14th, '15, 01:01

Nov 8th, '16, 12:08 #7

Yesssss, I am so excited for this round robin! And I love the rule of switching POVs!
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Ellethom
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Nov 8th, '16, 12:57 #8

Oh man, i have never watched this show, but the cast of characters that are lined up have me chomping at the bit. I will watch a few youtubes to get the gyst of it.

I have never ever watched one ep of the Bachelor and i think i was able to flub it.

Her's to fakin' it til i make it! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So excited!
There ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk --Tom Waits
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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 13:03 #9

Quick update. Quinn is west coast, so she won't check in for a while. You get 4 hours on dibs..;)
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 13:42 #10

Thanks for clarifying, Mikki!

Well, lookin' forward to Isola's upcoming installment, then.
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december13
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Nov 8th, '16, 15:12 #11

Quinn,it's great chapter!

I will enjoy the shit out of reading this story, I can already tell.

I don't see my self adding to AR, because faking is so far from what I'm able to do and I know so little about NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT Race. But I will be the biggest cheerleader for every single lady who decide to participate!

PS
I'm on my phone... and my grammar/spelling sucks!
I was once a Bath Steamer!

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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 15:42 #12

I'm confused on who is going next....I thought it was Wacky then Isola? Or is it Isola on #2 then Wacky?
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 15:44 #13

I thought Isola was working on #2. Did I get sth. Wrong now?!

ETA: I can write sth. up in 30 min. or so, that's not the thing, I just thought that Isola had already starte on the next, hence #2.

Man, my confusion level is great at this point.
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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 16:04 #14

I thought Isola said she was going after you, Wacky...and it's been four hours. So it's up for the asking
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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IsolaCaramella
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Nov 8th, '16, 16:47 #15

689 words

Olyvar watched as Shae ripped the clue card open, sweat pooling in the middle of his back. The flight from King's Landing to White Harbor had been what he was used to, large, commercial and comfortable. Even the narrow airbus from White Harbor to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea had only been mildly below his comfort level but the gods awful bush plane into Skagos was the first hell. Every dip and bump was felt as the plane coasted only to land on a stony beach masquerading as an airport.

Six teams had been on the first flight over, the pale silver blonde twins, the tall blonde woman and her partner who was some sort of model, the red headed mother and son team, the Warrior like blonde with the sexy smile and his dwarf brother who wouldn't stop ogling Shae and the lithe brown Dornish man, who had given him the once over as they stood in the airport bathroom, and his sister.

"We have to make our way to Sygerrik Battlefield via scooter where we'll find the next clue. I don't see any scooters. Come on let's go find them."

Olyvar hated running, even in his cute Chataya's Secret running pants that made his ass stand out like he spent his life doing squats. The million dragon prize was the only thing that made him trot behind Shae as she sashay ran up the beach.

They found the scooters as the dwarf and his brother were speeding off down the narrow road off to find their destination.

When they made it to Sygerrik Battlefield, he almost collided with his camera man when he tried to bring the scooter to a stop. The blonde giant woman helped to keep him upright as she pulled up beside him.

"Come on Beauty, leave him alone, we can't waste time helping people."

Gods what a cunt, Olyvar hoped he'd be out of the race soon.

As soon as they spotted the clue box Shae ran ahead of the brown Dornish woman to grab their card.

"...catapult a watermelon into an invading knight."

"We have to what now?!"

"Launch a watermelon into one of the knights across the field to get the next clue. You'll have to do this one Olyvar."

Gods this was really too much, his upper body strength was for massaging clients into ecstasy not breaking nails trying to launch massive fruit.

The Warrior lookalike and the Dornishman were already in place attempting to launch their watermelons when he made it into a free spot right after the cunt who was with the blonde woman.

Thirty minutes later it was down to him and who he now knew as Hyle launching watermelons, one of the teams from the second plane had already picked up their clue out of the box and he still couldn't launch the damn thing into the right spot. He watched as Hyle leaned back to launch again and the watermelon careened back to hit him square in the face and onto his ass.

Olyvar choked back a laugh as Brienne ran over to check on Hyle.

The rest of the teams were finally getting in place when Olyvar launched his watermelon into one of the standing knights. Shae was already running over to him with his pack all of the men eyeing her lithe figure in tight yoga pants and sports bra. They made their work so easy. Shae would have at least half of them eating out of hands by tonight.

A hulking Skagosi man in armor handed them their next clue, paddling across a lake to their first pit stop. Gods what happened to eating weird food and building things? His back and shoulders hurt and he was sure he'd managed to ruin his manicure before he'd launched the second watermelon.

Paddling was a misnomer, an egregious one. Only one person could row while the other was blindfolded on the kayak sized boats. Four of the teams were already pulling their way to the pit stop when he and Shae managed to climb in and start the tedious trek to Petyr and hopefully a functioning shower.
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december13
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Nov 8th, '16, 16:57 #16

Yay, Isola!

Now it's your turn Wacky!
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:09 #17

Okay, against the odds of major confusion on my behalf... I don't even know if this works now.... if not... ugh, sorry. Anywho, what's funny is that I typed this chapter before seeing Isola's and actually ha kayaks as the main theme, and already focused on canoes for the matter, so we do seem to think alike.

798

Brienne still contemplated just what devil had possessed her to participate in a contest that not only broadcasted Westeros-wide, but also came with the most ridiculous challenges.

If it weren’t for Hyle, she’d rather be at home to watch that whole mess from the safety zone of her couch. But no, she was a part of it.

Bloody NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT!


But there was no way of helping it. She had to do it, for Hyle.

“As a model, you have to plant your face all over the media! How else am I to make it a brand, babe?” was what he told her. And a part of her just wanted to leave her be, but then Hyle went on to explain that if she really didn’t want to, which he could “totally understand”, he could also ask Amerei Frey, a fellow model who has the nickname of Gatehouse Amy not because of owning a gatehouse, but because she’ll lift her skirt for pretty much anyone who asked.

Of course that left Brienne with no other choice but to tell him that she would go.

Not because she didn’t trust Hyle, obviously not, he was such a nice guy who looked past her ugly features and liked her against those odds, obviously, but… Brienne just didn’t want to bring something to sway that stood on shaky pillars to begin with. Brienne had no illusions about what she looked like, and there were more than enough bustier, prettier, funnier, better looking, more charming women out there who would take Hyle with the kiss of a hand.

And Brienne had to keep him, she had to.

Who else would ever take her, as ugly as she was?

That still didn’t help the present situation, however, which left her swaying back and forth in a too small canoe to paddle over to Baelish on the small isle, to imitate the Skagosi travelling to Skane back in the day to steal women and eat men, though of course minus the cannibalism, to bring them one step closer to the lodging and hopefully away from elimination.

So was the plan.

Sadly, the challenge wouldn’t be a challenge without a twist, because Brienne has rowed since she was a girl, and would have maneuvered over in no time. The extra challenge Baelish announced was that only one was allowed to row while the other was supposed to balance at the canoe’s bow, blindfolded.

“A challenge of trust,” as the clue had read.

Every time you fell in, you lost time to haul yourself back into the boat, but if you rowed too slowly, the others obviously got ahead of you.

Brienne had tried to reason with Hyle that she should be the one rowing because she knew how to row so that he would have little trouble to stand, but obviously, Hyle had disagreed.

“I won’t let my babe row for me. That’s the guy’s task. And this is perfect opportunity to show off my abs.”

However well he surely meant for, it now left Brienne shivering from the cold water she had fallen into a couple of times by now, not because she was bad at keeping her balance, but because Hyle just could not properly row.

Brienne just felt exposed and miserable, all cameras on her as she made a fool of herself, drenched from head to toe, likely looking like a soaked cow, and viewers probably asking themselves just how it came that a woman who introduced herself as being a passionate water sportswoman native to an island was so bad at this task.

“Seven Hells, not so rash!” she yelled as she tried to adjust her stance.

“I gotta, or else we’ll lose against Pretty Boy and the Imp.”

“Imp is politically incorrect,” she said automatically, but Hyle probably just shrugged, though Brienne wouldn’t ever know because Hyle gave the canoe another twist and off into the water she went, losing her blindfold in the process.

Brienne wanted to scream, but instead searched for her blindfold. She registered a canoe passing them by.

And there he stood, the Golden Man, Jaime, if she heard correctly. His eyes were on hers, looking somewhat shocked.

It only fueled Brienne’s anger. She was sure that he was just stared at her ugly, drenched features. He opened his mouth to say something, but Brienne snapped at him before she could even think, “And what are you staring at?”

He closed his mouth and gave a might push of the paddle expertly, and moved ahead of them, his brother gleefully balancing at the front with ease.

“Haul your flat ass back into the boat! We can’t lose against them!”

“Coming!” she yelled, hoping that no one saw that the water on her cheeks were also tears.
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december13
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:34 #18

Oh, Wacky, why is our baby seal lessening herself? We need someone to boost her confidence. And that someone is Jaime. Just saying.

Great job, Wacky!

And I can't wait for someone else to call dibs... Write, beautiful souls, write!!!
I was once a Bath Steamer!

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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:42 #19

Okay...things have gotten confused here. Probably my fault.

Wacky, you need to actually have a team eliminated in your chapter, or I can write #4 and do the elimination and the first night?
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:43 #20

Okay...welll...making an quick decision, I'm going to do the elimination and first night to get us back on track. Wacky's works too well.

DIBS
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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december13
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:52 #21

Mikki wrote:Okay...things have gotten confused here. Probably my fault.

Wacky, you need to actually have a team eliminated in your chapter, or I can write #4 and do the elimination and the first night?
Mikki wrote:Okay...welll...making an quick decision, I'm going to do the elimination and first night to get us back on track. Wacky's works too well.

DIBS
I am so confused by everything you just said, but it doesn't matter, 'cause the only important thing is that you're writing!!!
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 17:57 #22

Oh ! I got that one wrong then! Sorry!!!! Thanks for getting this back on track Mikki!!!!!!
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justme
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Nov 8th, '16, 18:02 #23

I think I get it.
The chapters are supposed to follow the list in the 1st post. So Quinn did 1= "First Location/Traveling", Isola did 2= "First Clue Challenge" and since Mikki is now doing a combo of 3+4 "First Team Elimination/First Night", whoever calls dibs next should do 5="New Location/Traveling". Maybe if whoever writes, could put the list number on top of their post?

I've never seen The NIK GLEEFULLY WEARING HIS TINY HAT Race, I have no idea how the show works, so at least for now I'm gonna take a backseat on this one and see how it plays out first. But I LOVE the idea and the teams!
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WackyGoofball
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Nov 8th, '16, 18:08 #24

Yeah, this is how I should've done it, but Wacky got totes confused and messed up with a lack of logical thinking!

Apologies!!!
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Mikki
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Nov 8th, '16, 18:20 #25

Entry 4 – Night (includes elmination to get us on track) (this is mistakenly Brienne's POV as well, but it was done to get us on track. My apologies and I'm so so sorry)

Brienne had totally lost track of the other teams. She knew there were some behind them, as they’d been on the first plane, but they’d lost time with the watermelon throw, made it up again on the kayak and then fallen back again. She was already bruised and sore and Hyle was THE EMOTION THAT FADES WHEN I LOOK AT HAPPY MANIPS OF JAIME AND BRIENNE with her.

She saw it ahead, the pit stop. She wanted to race on ahead. The silver-haired siblings were ahead of them and she knew she could pass them, but Hyle was struggling to keep up. She matched her pace to his. It wouldn’t do to enrage him further

The siblings were there when they reached the mat, the brother screaming at the sister while she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at them. Their host announced that they were the fifth team.

Whew.

She and Hyle took their place at the mat, learned their placement and went to sit with the other teams. When the first round was over, Baelish came over to announce tomorrow’s starting order and give them a chance to say farewell to the eliminated team…who had actually never made it past the watermelon throw, the elderly father and son.

Finishing order –
Oberyn and Elia Martell - First
Catelyn and Robb Stark - Second
Jaime and Tyrion Lannister - Third
Olyvar Sand and Shae Rivers - Fourth
Viserys and Daenarys Targaryen - Fifth
Brienne Tarth and Hyle Hunt - Sixth
Dolorous Edd and Samwell Tarly - Seventh
Loras and Margaery Tyrell – Eighth
Jorah and Lyanna Mormont – Ninth
Euron and Yara Greyjoy – Tenth
Stannis Baratheon and Melisandre - Eleventh
Walder Frey and Black Walder Jr. – Elminated

There had been some awkward, and in Brienne’s opinion, inappropriate, hugs handed out to the eliminated contestants. She could have sworn the old coot had tried to grope her ass. Really, she just wanted to check into the hotel, shower and go to sleep.

Hyle had other plans. “Babe, sure yeah, you do need to shower. I mean, yeah, you can’t like, join us for dinner like that.” He eyed her bedraggled form up and down. He didn’t need to emphasize it. She knew what she looked like. “You go shower. I’ll scout the competition. Come down when you’re ready.”

She knew him, she knew that by, “scout the competition” he meant that he was going to flirt with the other female contestants. She’d have to make her shower fast.

Thirty minutes later, she was dressed and in the elevator with the dwarf, his gorgeous brother and the two uncles from different teams, Jorah and Euron. Euron still reeked of the sea. And Jorah, after having been berated by his niece during both challenges, looked HEY, JB WEEK IS COMING.

The dwarf poked her in the knee and she looked down at him, feeling more awkward than she ever had before.

“Hey, your boyfriend is an asshole,” the dwarf said.

Was it possible he was drunk already?

His brother snickered and asked, “Can we just call assholes Hyles from now on? I mean, it fits?”

Jorah grinned as well.

Brienne turned bright red. “Hyle’s fine. I’m just clumsy.”

The handsome brother, Jaime, turned to her as the elevator door opened. “You look pretty strong to me.”

Brienne face was flaming. She didn’t think she could be more embarrassed, but as their group walked into the dining room, one team member, Olyvar, was gyrating shirtless while Loras and the Dornish brother clapped and whistled, Viserys was all over Shae, the red-headed mother and son were screaming at each other, Euron’s niece was making out with Viserys’ sister, sweet Sam and Edd were off in one corner with Lyanna, studying maps and Hyle, her boyfriend Hyle, was kissing the Dornish girl, Elia.

After today she thought she never wanted to do another challenge again. Now, she couldn’t want for morning.

She regretted that thought as she stood in the freezing cold at 5:12am the next morning, ripping into their next clue.

(Okay, that went over on word count, but the next entry should pick up as the teams get their clues in the morning. That’s a location entry and the writer chooses the location. )


(cannot be Brienne or Olyvar POV)

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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