Day 6 Real Dumb Fic-a-Thon!

Quinn
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Joined: Jul 8th, '14, 04:26

Sep 27th, '17, 05:34 #1

Post one oddball ASoIaF/GoT character, and the next person has to write a paragraph of JB fic from that character's POV!

Inspired by TeamGwenee on Ao3, but this version is way dumb and all up in the cracks! Not, you know, GOOD like hers. Hey Gwenee!

I write J/B fic: Ao3 / I re-blog other people's fandom pics: Tumblr
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Quinn
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Joined: Jul 8th, '14, 04:26

Oct 6th, '17, 03:22 #2

I hereby challenge Mikki to begin with the POV of...

Uncle Benjen. DISCO or Alive.

I write J/B fic: Ao3 / I re-blog other people's fandom pics: Tumblr
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Mikki
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Joined: Jun 18th, '14, 15:23

Oct 6th, '17, 03:39 #3

Benjen Stark stood looking at the remnants of Castle Black, having spoken with the Commanders now stationed there. He had always hated the Lannisters, and Ser Jaime was no exception. He had heard PA INGALLS's tales of the man, how he'd shoved his sword through King Aerys' back, breaking his vows, the sat on the Throne while his father, Tywin, sacked the city. That was years ago and since then Jaime Lannister had lost the hand that killed his king.

Benjen looked down at his own, cold, hands. They, too, had changed. Was he any different than Ser Jaime? He'd broken his Night's Watch vows and become something different, perhaps something not quite human.

He thought back on his meeting with Ser Jaime. He did not seem to be the man PA INGALLS had described. With the loss of his hand, he seemed much more human than PA INGALLS believed. In fact, he might be the most human man at Castle Black. The remainder of the Night's Watch were terrified shells of men.

In fact, Jaime seemed have honor within him. He'd organized their remaining forces to be a shield against the coming DISCO, giving the men hope and purpose, although they all knew they were not a shield. They were to be a sacrifice to slow the Others on their way South.

Ser Jaime didn't seem to care. He wanted to go down fighting. But Benjen saw it in the man's eyes. He also wanted to live.

The woman, the lady knight, Brienne of Tarth, she was no beauty. She was a far cry from Cersei Lannister, the woman Benjen had met so long ago, which Jon was still a boy and Robb and PA INGALLS were still alive. The Tarth woman, she was a warrior and she was strong. She too wanted to live.

Benjen thought of the way that Lannister and Tarth stared at one another, ready to die to save them all, wanting to live for each other. He placed his hand over his heart, where the dragonglass rested. Perhaps he could find a way to save them.

---

I challenge the next person to write a JB fic from the POV of Roose Bolton.
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Bad Direwolf Mutt
Mutton Cutter
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Joined: May 31st, '16, 11:15

Oct 6th, '17, 04:22 #4

"A bearpit you say?" Roose repeated what his messenger from Harrenhal said.

"A-apolpogies, m'lord but they couldn't refuse, Ser--"

Roose held up a hand to silence the stuttering boy.

"It's fine. I should have expected that," he sighed. After the bath they shared and that hand holding that lasted too long, Roose shouldn't be surprised at all that he came back for the Tarth woman despite what Roose had told him. Jaime Lannister had such peculiar taste in women but at least that one, though ungainly, was not related to him.

Roose sipped his wine, wondering if another wedding was happening.
-----
Next person... ehh.. Craster? XD
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ o(≧▽≦)o I CANNOT EVEN---! because I'm odd.~ σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡ (ಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::>

A Girl Has Many Usernames: Tumblr | ArchiveOfOurOwn | DeviantArt | Fanfiction

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Mikki
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Joined: Jun 18th, '14, 15:23

Oct 6th, '17, 17:02 #5

Fucking Southroners with their blond hair and thin skins. There’s been nothing wrong with him taking daughter to wife. He had no idea why they’d been all upset with the Kingslayer for laying with his sister. They’d seen fit to punish the man though. They’d wed him to the tallest, ugliest woman Craster had ever seen. Kinglsayer seemed happy enough though. Perhaps it was because of the woman’s eyes, blue they were, bluer than the Night King.




All right, next up, CERSEI.
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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swabbie888
Almost a Beauty
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Joined: Jun 25th, '16, 16:36

Oct 6th, '17, 18:15 #6

She watched. She watched as her brother's gaze flicked to the ugly cow with straw hair and she wondered at the softness in his eyes. She saw how the Maid of Tarth blushed, her eyes fluttering down. She saw Brienne clutch the hilt of her sword--a hilt with a lion pommel. Cersei's hands clenched the arms of her chair. A heat rose in her belly and boiled upward. She calmed it. She had no reason to be jealous of such a beast--or did she? Cersei remembered how she used to wear a sword on her hip. When she and Jaime would trade places for a day when they were younger--she would ride horses and spar with squires, and he would wear her dresses. Those were the days when they were so alike, none could tell the difference in their faces.

Jaime didn't look like her so much anymore. His lifted his gaze, and Cersei's anger flared hot. Once again, he was looking at Brienne.

_

HOT PIE!!!
my JB fanfic. also on tumblr.
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TheNerdyBlogger
Red Leatherer
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Joined: Jul 31st, '17, 17:04

Oct 6th, '17, 18:25 #7

Cersei could imagine no worse torture. Not even ones she'd devised herself for the destruction of her enemies were as painful as this. From the vantage point of her cell, she could make out her brother, standing there, hands clasped with that ridiculously tall cow that brought him back to King's Landing. She could see the septon muttering the ancient words. Jaime wrapped his cloak about her shoulders, as best as he could with one hand, that whore from Tarth assisting him with her right hand.

"With this kiss, I pledge my love," Jaime smiled, as he kissed his bride.

As the wedding guests cheered, Cersei screamed.

Next one: Olenna Tyrell!
Oh man, Swabbie writes faster than me!
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swabbie888
Almost a Beauty
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Joined: Jun 25th, '16, 16:36

Oct 6th, '17, 18:28 #8

Cersei deserved two, we know it :-) maybe next person can choose between hot pie and olenna and pass it on with one or the other!
my JB fanfic. also on tumblr.
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Mikki
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Joined: Jun 18th, '14, 15:23

Oct 6th, '17, 18:28 #9

Oh...two possible prompts, take either one. RUN WITH IT.
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Erin
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Joined: Apr 23rd, '16, 14:44

Oct 6th, '17, 18:41 #10

Dibs! I'll do Hot Pie, then the next person can do Olenna.
Tumblr: bearsofair // Twitter: CurseMeOrKissMe
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Pickled
Almost a Knight
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Joined: Apr 25th, '15, 08:01

Oct 6th, '17, 18:45 #11

Nooooo! I wrote Cersei too!!

Here it is anyway, but I'll skip the prompt.

-----

“Apologies your Grace,” Qyburn panted. “I have news of Ser Jaime. Our little birds have located him.”

“Returned to Kings Landing has he? Have him brought to me at once.”

“He is in Winterfell, your Grace. Strange, but he was escorted there under the protection of a direwolf and its pack.”

“No matter. He would have known nothing of MELISANDRE'S BOYTOY Stark’s return, and if Northern tradition holds he is shortly to be relieved of his head.”

“He appears to be quite safe and very welcome your Grace, for not long after his arrival all of the Riverlands contingents of our army joined him, led by Ser Bronn of the Blackwater.”

“What? Why, that unwashed impudent cu---” She clenched her fists and composed herself. “Jaime will return. I need him as I have never needed him before. He loves me he loves me he loves me.”

“It appears that he loves that young lady from Tarth, your Grace. He knelt before her in front of the whole of Winterfell and swore his sword to her. And my little bird reports that when Ser Jaime and his lady spar their twin swords are set alight with blue flames. It sounds quite remarkable, I only wish I could be there to observe the phenomenon. Word of it is spreading across the kingdoms like wild—eh . . . like the dickens, your Grace.”

“That ugly sow of a creature! This is ludicrous! Jaime would never look at such a beast!”

“Brienne the Beauty, they call her.”

“What did you say?”

“Eh . . . Brienne, your Grace. The young lady from Tarth.”

“Yes, yes, I know her name! And that she’s young. And not a beauty. Not! Not a beauty.”

“Your Grace . . . are you quite alright? Perhaps I should prepare you a draught of my special . . . tonic. I’ve been very pleased with its efficacy.”

“Yes, hurry. I’ve grown fond of it. Make it stronger.”

“Certainly, your Grace!”

He left, agitated and eyes wide with consternation. Clearly the man would do anything for her.

Wine entered the room, carried by Bernadette. It was not poured, nor was it set on the table beside her.

She stared at Bernadette, who was staring back. There was something wrong with her face, and as if sensing it the girl reached up to smooth out some large wrinkles in her cheek.

“Damn it all, I knew this one didn’t fit!” Bernadette exclaimed, with a slight Northern accent.

“What is this? You are not my faithful maid of many years! Who are you?”

“Who am I? Well, just now I suppose you might call me the Valonqar. But in a matter of moments I will be . . . no one.”


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Erin
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Joined: Apr 23rd, '16, 14:44

Oct 6th, '17, 19:19 #12

The lone traveler burst through the door of the inn that night along with a rush of cold winter wind. There was a dusting of snow in his golden hair and his soaked traveling cloak was dripping on to the wooden floor.

“It’s a cold one out there!” Hot Pie said cheerily. “Come warm yourself by the fire, and I’ll bring you some ale and kidney pie. You’ll love the kidney pie! And a room? Will you be staying the night? I can bring you water for a hot bath. You must be chilled!” he chattered on.

“Yes, yes. That’s good,” said the traveler. “Say, have you seen a woman pass though these parts? A tall woman in armor? Blonde hair? Astonishingly blue eyes? Tends to have the most stubborn of dispositions?”

“The big lady? The lady knight? I know her! Yes! She's been through here within the past fortnight.”

“And was she well? Did she seem well to you?” asked the concerned traveler.

“She did. She was here with her squire. They were heading North she said. And I asked her, ‘Why would anyone want to head North now that Winter's come?' I told her it’s cold enough here! But she seemed determined. Are you heading North as well?”

“Yes. In the morning. I have to find her,” the traveler replied, and Hot Pie could see a look of determination on the traveler’s face that mirrored the one he had seen on the lady knight's.

----

The next morning the well fed and well rested traveler was readying his horse outside the inn. “Thank you for your hospitality,” the traveler said before dropping a hefty bag of coin into Hot Pie’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you! I have something for you as well, Hot Pie said, shoving a bundle into the travelers arms. The traveler used one hand to peel open the bundle.”

“I hope you find your lady knight,” Hot Pie told the traveler earnestly.

“Is this–is this wench bread?” asked the traveler with a small smile.

–––

Ok, next prompt is Olenna!
Tumblr: bearsofair // Twitter: CurseMeOrKissMe
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Mikki
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Joined: Jun 18th, '14, 15:23

Oct 6th, '17, 20:05 #13

Wench bread. WENCH BREAD. I WANT IT.
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. - Ashleigh Brilliant
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Sophie
Engagement Sword Forger
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Sophie
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Joined: Feb 15th, '15, 09:14

Oct 6th, '17, 22:42 #14

Olenna Tyrell sat at the small table, her hand so tight on the cut glass before her that she could feel the crystal hard against the bones of her still elegant fingers.
"Like Robb Stark did to me," Ser Jaime Lannister said of his capture at Whispering Wood.
"A slow learner," he said, curiously modest over outwitting his little brother Tyrion.
Olenna looked hard at the sword he had on his hip. It was not the one he had worn on the day of Joffrey's wedding, but actually the sword gifted to his obnoxious son with its distinctive ruby red heart.
Widow's Wail.
Olenna felt the chill of defeat settle in her old bones even as she turned to look away from the blade's new owner.
"He really was a cunt wasn't he," she said.
Ser Jaime said nothing, in response, simply inclining his head, the twist of his lips wry . His expression detached,
This wasn't the man she had watched like a hawk at that awful wedding. All too aware of how he could ruin her plans for Joffrey; Olenna had watched his every step, his every look.
What an education that had been.
If she had been a crueller woman, a less noble woman, she could have alluded to the ridiculous triangle of stares and glares she had observed from the sidelines. Ser Jaime decked out in his gold and white colours of the Kingsguard, unable to take his eyes off the ungainly child of Selwyn Tarth even as the magnificent creature stooped and strode about the festivities completely oblivious to the attention being given to her by the Lord Commander.
Or his sister, Cersei.
"I've done unspeakable things to protect my family," she told him,"Or watched them being done on my orders... I never lost a nights sleep over them. They were necessary."
How to say this... how to phrase just how merciless that woman could be.
"But your sister...", Olenna took a deep breath; for Loras, for Margaery, for Mace, maybe even for Brienne, "has done things I was not capable of imagining."
Only now did the handsome man before her look unsettled, his expression uneasy as it was now his turn to look away. "That was my prize mistake...a failure of imagination."
He knew. Of course he did. He had personally seen to it that Brienne of Tarth left Kings Landing with an almost unseemly haste. That much Olenna's spies had told her. That, and that she had left with Tyrion's squire Podrick Payne beside her, as well as with Jaime Lannister's priceless sword strapped to her hip.
It could have almost have been something to laugh at, if it wasn't so tragic. The man who had brought Highgarden to its knees, was clearly terrified of what his sister might do to the raw-boned girl who loved to fight.
Cersei Lannister.
"She's a monster... you do know that."
"To you, sure... to others as well..." Olenna stopped listening to his words and watched his face instead. Ser Jaime Lannister talked a good fight, but even he did not look overly convinced. It could only mean that the stupid boy was still being led by his THROBBING MEMBER...
"You love her," Olenna could only marvel at just how slow a learner Jaime Lannister had proven himself to be, "you really do love her. You fool! She'll be the end of you."
"Possibly," was all he replied, his expression angry, yet lost, "but there is not much to be gained from discussing it with you is there."
Olenna regarded him steadily, thinking of all the things that she knew that could potentially blow this man's family, and life, apart.
"What better person to discuss it with, " Olenna told him, "what better guarantee could you have that the things you say will never leave the room,"
However the things that I say... may well do just that...

Next POV... BRONN!!!!
ZZzzzz................................
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Bad Direwolf Mutt
Mutton Cutter
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Joined: May 31st, '16, 11:15

Oct 9th, '17, 02:02 #15

3 Cersei POVs xD I love the introspective take on Olenna and Jaime's conversation :3

Anyway, might spout my Bronn fic here anyway:

"Pod, Clegane, and I will take one bedroom, and Lord Pretty Boy and the Lady will take the other," Bronn declared. As expected, the two spluttered protests, but Bronn raised a hand to silence them.

"It's not like the two of you hadn't traveled alone together before. Would you rather have the lady sleep alone with one of us?"

Bronn didn't mention that Podrick had traveled with the Lady and hoped nobody would speak about it.

Luckily, both of them conceded with a grumble but he caught the shy stares they gave one another.

When Lord Jaine and Lady Brienne closed the door on them, Clegane spoke.

"Are they fucking?"

Bronn snorted. He liked this guy.

"From the way they look at each other, probably not... yet."

----
If anyone is still up for it... the Hound
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ o(≧▽≦)o I CANNOT EVEN---! because I'm odd.~ σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡ (ಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::>

A Girl Has Many Usernames: Tumblr | ArchiveOfOurOwn | DeviantArt | Fanfiction

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