The Falcon King

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The Falcon King

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011, 17:48

02 May 2011, 19:40 #1

This is a play that I wrote ages ago. It is titled, as you have gathered, The Falcon King. Here is how this thread will run:

I will post an excerpt, hopefully act-by-act.
I will update it whenever I get at least two or three (hopefully more) feedback posts. As far as I know, it's ok to post in between updates.
When you do review, please do not say something like: "I love it! Do more!" or "This is great! :)" Please, I want feedback. This is my first play and I need the CC.
You must enjoy! Feel free to laugh all you want. This play was written to make you do so.
There. Now here is the first part.


The Falcon King

A Meticulously Thought-out Play by Silvermist of Ebony

Cast of Characters:

Eric the Hunter………………………………………………….Serik Revenant

Sapphire the Princess…………………………………………Corvine Restharrow

The Old Man…………………………………………………..Terch Seamount

The Falcon King……………………………………………….Draco

The Townspeople………………………………………………Rozar

The Falcon Shifters…………………………………………….Rozar

Old King………………………………………………………Terch Seamount

Narrator/Director…………………………………………Silvermist of Ebony

Eric’s Horse……………………………………………………...Varii

“Hey! Why do I get the parts of the least important characters?!”

Because there aren’t any other parts there for you, Rozar.

“Oh come on….”

Nope. Let’s watch the play, shall we?

“Fine. But I’m warning you! It may not go smoothly!”

Oh no….

Act I

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, in a far-away land….

(from backstage) TOWNSPEOPLE: “Ah, joy for generic intros.

DIRECTOR (whispering harshly): Be quiet! NOW!


NARRATOR: Anyway, once upon a time, in a far-away land, there lived a great hunter

named ERIC. He roamed the forest and tracked down the largest and most formidable

beasts, retrieving their heads and keeping nearby villages safe.

(from backstage) ERIC: “What?! Cutting off heads is gross!”

TOWNSPEOPLE: “Well as long as it isn’t Rozar heads.”

ERIC: “It might be!”

DIRECTOR: Shhhh!!!!

ERIC & TOWNSPEOPLE: “Fine… fine…”

NARRATOR: Anyway!! So one fine spring day, ERIC heard about a dangerous beast wandering the forests and uttering eerie noises.

ERIC rides onto the stage, which is set as a forest. He pulls his HORSE to a stop in the center and dismounts, having spotted something on the ground nearby. He

crouches down to inspect it.

ERIC: I must be near to the monster now. I can see his claw prints, but… they look unlike any land-dwelling monster I’ve seen before.

Suddenly he hears a loud screech in the distance.

ERIC: That must be the monster! Come, let us catch and destroy him!

In one swift motion, ERIC mounts his HORSE and they canter off stage.

NARRATOR: Soon, he came upon a disturbing scene. In the middle of the forest, he finds a woman being attacked by a very large falcon!

(backstage) TOWNSPEOPLE: “Do you have to say it with the exclamation point?”

NARRATOR: That’s my job, bozo.

TOWNSPEOPLE: “No it’s ‘Rozar’ not Bozo.”

NARRATOR: Shut up!


TOWNSPEOPLE: “Ow! Fine, fine….”

NARRATOR: Anyway. ERIC rode into the clearing, determined to help the woman and kill the beast.

SAPPHIRE: Eek! Help! Help!

(backstage) THE FALCON KING & THE TOWNSPEOPLE snicker.

SAPPHIRE: Shut up or deal with the consequences.

NARRATOR: Sooo, without hesitating, ERIC jumped into the fight.

ERIC: Back you evil beast!

NARRATOR: The sound of a sword meeting claws rang through the clearing as a battle unfolded.

To be continued...


I hope you all enjoy, and I hope to keep this thread updated often! Laugh away, my friends!

[marq=left]"Sometimes strength is being the last one left standing. And sometimes it's being the first to fall . . ." - Vuny[/marq]

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011, 17:48

02 May 2011, 19:41 #2


ERIC and a FALCON SHIFTER jump back and forth across the stage, the FALCON SHIFTER screeches and beats its wings furiously while ERIC swings his sword around. SAPPHIRE stands, shocked, near the rear left of the scene.

NARRATOR: Soon, the battle drew to a close with ERIC in the lead.

After a minute, the FALCON SHIFTER is wounded, and ERIC takes the chance to run it through with his blade, killing it.

ERIC: Ha! Down with you!

FALCON SHIFTER: Oh my gosh! Dude next time don’t cut it so close! Are you trying not to miss?

ERIC: Mayyybe.

DIRECTOR: No killing! Only pretend to kill.

Anyway, SAPPHIRE runs up to ERIC joyously.

SAPPHIRE: Thank you! Thank you so much, hunter! You saved my life!

ERIC: It was my pleasure. What is your name, my lady?

(backstage): “Who wrote this again? It’s all sappy talk!”


SAPPHIRE: My name is SAPPHIRE. Who are you?

ERIC: I am ERIC THE HUNTER. I do my best to rid the forests of beasts such as the one I downed a moment ago.

SAPPHIRE: A very honorable occupation! I am a princess by heritage, but as of recently, something terrible has happened.

ERIC: You are a princess?! (whispering: And who woulda thought?)


ERIC: Ahem. What is this terrible occurrence that has landed you in these woods, your highness?

SAPPHIRE: Please, call me SAPPHIRE. The event that happened to bring me here is a kidnapping. It only happened last night!

ERIC: Kidnapped!? Who committed this vile act?

SAPPHIRE: None other than THE FALCON KING himself. He lives in a castle just beyond these woods, and desires that my father give up his kingdom for his own. As persuasion, he threatened to kill me if the treaty were not signed.

ERIC: That is one of the most evil things anyone could do! I will help you return to your father at once.

SAPPHIRE: Thank you, ERIC.

NARRATOR: However, just as they were about to mount ERIC’S HORSE, they hear another screech. A FALCON SHIFTER swooped in and picked SAPPHIRE from the HORSE’S back! (too many caps, ugh.)

FALCON SHIFTER (playfully): Hey y’all! Just gonna make off with a princess and run!

The FALCON SHIFTER flies off stage with SAPPHIRE.

ERIC: Hey! Get back here you criminal!

SAPPHIRE: Oh no! Help!

NARRATOR: However, there was nothing to be done. The last thing ERIC saw of SAPPHIRE was her shining golden hair in the sunlight.

(backstage) SAPPHIRE: “WHAT?! I’m not a blonde! I have black hair!! You all know that!”

(backstage) THE OLD MAN: “Oh great. Here we go.”

SAPPHIRE: “I won’t stand for this! It’s… it’s.. absurd!”

OLD MAN: “Just leave the wig on.”

SAPPHIRE: “Never!”

(on stage) ERIC: Come on, it’s just for the play!

SAPPHIRE: “Uh uh.”

DIRECTOR: Should I hand the part to Yara?

SAPPHIRE (muttering): “Fine, fine. But ONLY For this play!”

NARRATOR: Good. Anyway. ERIC could do nothing but watch as SAPPHIRE got lifted into the sky.

ERIC (in a low, angry voice): He probably took her to THE FALCON KING. I don’t stand a chance going alone, if it is true that there is a castle there. What’s to be done?

NARRATOR: As he thought, ERIC heard the distant noises of a town.

ERIC: I know, I shall find help in the next village! Then I can gather enough warriors to take

down THE FALCON KING and his SHIFTERS and end the war before it starts!

ERIC gallops off stage.

NARRATOR: And soon, he was well on his way for help.



Sappy play of all sappy plays... well, hope you like sappiness!

[marq=left]"Sometimes strength is being the last one left standing. And sometimes it's being the first to fall . . ." - Vuny[/marq]

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011, 17:48

02 May 2011, 19:42 #3

Here's all of Act II. It's very short.



Scene: ERIC rides into a town hurriedly and enters the nearest, dingy, Inn. Several TOWNSPEOPLE and AN OLD MAN are sitting and waiting for their meals, or are already eating.

NARRATOR: Soon, ERIC had arrived at an Inn, and started shouting in a loud voice for attention.

ERIC: Everyone! Come help me attack the castle of THE FALCON SHIFTERS! They have


THE TOWNSPEOPLE all stare for a moment, and then start laughing.

THE TOWNSPEOPLE: You fool! The FALCON SHIFTERS are much too powerful for any of us to take on! You’ll just end up killing yourself! And come to think of it, how am I acting as several people at once?

ERIC: We’ll leave that to the DIRECTOR to find out.

DIRECTOR: Well I thought I had left it to THE TOWNSPEOPLE to find out.

THE TOWNSPEOPLE: Well I haven’t figured it out yet, so who’s going to?

ERIC shrugs.

DIRECTOR: I guess we should just leave it at: it is your way of things, TOWNSPEOPLE. You’re a trickster.

THE TOWNSPEOPLE: That’s one way to resolve it.

NARRATOR: Anyhoo. ERIC looked around desperately at THE TOWNSPEOPLE.

ERIC: Please! You must help me! If we don’t attack them now, there will be a great war!


THE TOWNSPEOPLE all laugh and turn back to waiting and eating.

NARRATOR: ERIC gazed helplessly about for a few minutes, and then suddenly started for the door, having decided to save PRINCESS SAPPHIRE by himself. Suddenly, though, an OLD MAN in the corner spoke.

THE OLD MAN: Wait! I will go with you to the castle.

THE TOWNSPEOPLE and ERIC stare for a moment before THE TOWNSPEOPLE start to laugh again.

THE TOWNSPEOPLE: Haha! Good one, Obi-Wan!



ERIC walks over to THE OLD MAN.

ERIC: Um… are you still able to fight, aged one?

THE OLD MAN gives ERIC a withering look. The DIRECTOR gives THE OLD MAN a stern look. THE OLD MAN continues, abandoning his withering look.

THE OLD MAN: Trust in me, young one. That is all I need.

ERIC: Uhh, if that is all you need, then I guess I can provide it. Come with me to THE


THE OLD MAN: Thank you for your trust, young one.

NARRATOR: And so ERIC and THE OLD MAN set out for THE FALCON KING’s castle, both eager to start the attack and save PRINCESS SAPPHIRE.



Dunno why, but I liked that act.

[marq=left]"Sometimes strength is being the last one left standing. And sometimes it's being the first to fall . . ." - Vuny[/marq]

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011, 17:48

02 May 2011, 19:42 #4

Haha! Totally forgot about this. Anyhoo, here's a new installment.


Scene: The FALCON KING’s castle.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, PRINCESS SAPPHIRE has been taken to THE FALCON KING’s lair, where she is being shoved around through hallways by a FALCON SHIFTER.

A FALCON SHIFTER (in a snarly voice): Come, SAPPHIRE. I will take you to THE FALCON KING.

SAPPHIRE: I will not go to your foul king. I despise him and you all! Let me free or live with dire consequences, beast!

THE FALCON SHIFTER chuckles to himself.

THE FALCON SHIFTER: There will be no consequences, your “highness”. When THE FALCON KING wants something, he gets it. If you are part of the plan, then you’re dead meat.

DIRECTOR: Enough with the script changes!

THE FALCON SHIFTER: I mean, if you are part of the plan, then it is your fate.

SAPPHIRE: I refuse to become part of this!

THE FALCON SHIFTER: It is too late for that, deary.

The NARRATOR glances at THE FALCON SHIFTER dangerously.

THE FALCON SHIFTER: I mean princess. Come! We shall meet the KING.

Both THE FALCON SHIFTER and PRINCESS SAPPHIRE start mounting stairs to see the KING.

Scene: THE FALCON KING’s chamber.

NARRATOR: Upstairs, THE FALCON KING and a FALCON SHIFTER SPY are conversing, just as the PRINCESS and her captor walk in.

FALCON SPY: There is no news from the other kingdom, sir, but there is a rather…. Small assembly coming to attack us.

THE FALCON KING: Yay, my first line.


THE FALCON KING: Anyway, what do you mean by a “small assembly”?

FALCON SPY: There are two people coming, your highness.

THE FLACON KING lets out a loud laugh.

THE FALCON KING: Two people? That is all?

SAPPHIRE: Someone is coming?

FALCON SPY: Yes, a hunter and an old man.

NARRATOR: There was a pause. Nobody could believe that out of the hundreds of warriors in the land, only two were coming to free the princess. And one of them was an old man!

OLD MAN: I’m not actually old.


The OLD MAN mutters.

THE FALCON KING: Well, we must be rid of them as soon as possible. I have no wish for delays in my plan.

FALCON SPY: Look out of the window; they are coming for the bridge.

NARRATOR: Sure enough, as everyone looked towards the drawbridge, they saw two adventurers coming towards the castle.

FALCON SPY: Now what kind of Silly battle plan is that?

FALCON SHIFTER: You mean walking straight up to the front of the castle instead of sneaking in the back way after dark?

FALCON SPY: Exactly!


NARRATOR: As they look out, SAPPHIRE recognizes ERIC.

SAPPHIRE: There is ERIC THE HUNTER! I knew he would come to rescue me!

THE FALCON SPY and SHIFTER gag and choke.

THE FALCON KING (ignoring this): You know these people? Excellent! Let us stay here and watch them be ripped to shreds. GUARDS!


FALCON SPY: Oh my word, I am acting as four people at once! Am I talented or what?

DIRECTOR: I must admit, you’re doing better than I thought you’d be doing.


DIRECTOR: But of course, everyone else is better.


THE FALCON KING: In accordance with my last sentence…. GUARDS, send out enough warriors to kill them off!

FALCON GUARDS: Yes, your highness.

The FALCON GUARDS quickly exit the room.

SAPPHIRE: You cannot do this!

THE FALCON KING: I jolly well can.


THE FALCON KING: I mean, I can and will. Watch and learn, PRINCESS. Watch and learn.

The FALCON SHIFTER grabs SAPPHIRE and ties her hands up.

SAPPHIRE: You won’t get away with this!!

THE FALCON KING: I said watch and learn.

NARRATOR: In other words, they all watched out the window as the FALCONS attacked ERIC and THE OLD MAN.

Random Person in Audience: I have to go to the bathroom!

NARRATOR: Wow… just, wow. Thanks for sharing.

Random Person in Audience: No really! Please! Give me a chance!

NARRATOR: Fine. Intermission time!


(in which you can head to the bathroom)

DIRECTOR: Ok, is everyone done now?

Random Person in Audience: Yeah, thanks!

DRIECTOR: Good. Now where were we? Ah yes….

[marq=left]"Sometimes strength is being the last one left standing. And sometimes it's being the first to fall . . ." - Vuny[/marq]

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Joined: 13 Apr 2011, 17:48

02 May 2011, 19:43 #5

Act IV. I'll update on Tuesdays and Fridays now, that ok? (There's not much of this left, so enjoy).


Scene: On the other side of the bridge from THE FALCON KING’s castle.

ERIC and THE OLD MAN ride onto to the stage.

OLD MAN: This is the place.

ERIC: Well, yes. I mean, considering all the falcons flying around…

OLD MAN (ignoring this): I assume they will send out some warriors to try and defeat us.

ERIC: Well, yes. I mean, considering that we’re attacking their castle….

OLD MAN (ignoring this): We shall have to put up a fight. Are you prepared?

ERIC: Well, yes, I mean, considering-

DIRECTOR: Three strikes and you’re out. And I mean out!

ERIC: Umm… Yes, of course I am prepared to fight! But how will we get beat back the warriors?

OLD MAN: Do you trust me?

NARRATOR: It might have taken any other warrior a longer pause to consider whether or not they trusted the OLD MAN, but ERIC, knowing the values of trust, said…

ERIC: Of course.

NARRATOR: With that said, the OLD MAN knew he had a true ally.

THE OLD MAN smiles.

OLD MAN: That is very good, young one. Now that you have earned my respect, I shall-

NARRATOR: However, just as THE OLD MAN was about to speak, the two adventurers heard a loud screech from the direction of the castle.

FALCON WARRIORS: We’re screeching!

ERIC: Here come the warriors. Let us prepare to fight.

ERIC draws his sword.

OLD MAN: Thank you for putting your trust in me. Now I will repay you for your morality.

DIRECTOR: Morality? Isn’t there anything better we could say?

OLD MAN: Hey, you wrote the script.

DIRECTOR: So? Improvise here! Be a strong actor!

OLD MAN: Fine. Ahem. Now I will repay you for your friendship.

DIRECTOR: Much better.

The OLD MAN mutters.

NARRATOR: And as ERIC watched, the OLD MAN threw off his old robes and-



FALCON SHIFTERS: Ahem, yes, carry on.

NARRATOR: ….transformed into a mighty mage!

DIRECTOR: Hey, who put on the Darth Vader theme?


The Darth Vader music theme comes to an abrupt halt.

DIRECTOR: Onwards!

NARRATOR: ERIC was shocked and surprised. He had expected nothing like this!

ERIC: You… you’re a mage!

OLD MAN: Yes. Duh.

The NARRATOR glares.

OLD MAN: Ahem. I mean, I am a true ally to those who will put their trust in me. You are the first of these people, and I will help you for all the time you need.

ERIC smiles.

ERIC: Then let us fight til the end. End end. I mean, the very end.

DIRECTOR: Which is gonna be soon if you guys don’t shut up!

ERIC: Haha. Anyway…

Both of the warriors let out a battle cries as the FALCON WARRIORS fly in.

NARRATOR: A furious battle broke out on the bridge. FALCON WARRIORS came in from all sides, but ERIC and THE OLD MAN kept up with the attacks and soon gained the advantage.

The OLD MAN fires a magical strike at the last FALCON WARRIOR, sending it spiraling to the ground

FALCON WARRIOR: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oomph!

ERIC: You did it! We are free to proceed.

OLD MAN: We did it, ERIC. Now let us go to the castle.

The OLD MAN claps ERIC on the back.


OLD MAN: Ha… sorry.

NARRATOR: Anyway…However, just at the last moment, two more FACON WARRIORS appeared, and attacked the OLD MAN.

FALCON WARRIORS: Take that! And that and that and that!

OLD MAN: Get to the castle, I can handle these!

NARRATOR: ERIC paused, but soon ran to the castle.

ERIC: I will be back for you!

OLD MAN: As if.


DIRECTOR: Continue.

End of ACT IV.


[marq=left]"Sometimes strength is being the last one left standing. And sometimes it's being the first to fall . . ." - Vuny[/marq]