The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock (1959)

Laughing Gravy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Laughing Gravy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Joined: September 1st, 2005, 4:44 am

September 28th, 2012, 3:27 am #1



The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock (1959) Dir. Sid Miller
A Columbia Picture
75 min. / B&W / 1.85:1
DVD: Columbia MOD

ITB Strange Science Cinema #165


Only a few weeks before dropping dead, Lou Costello starred in his only film without Bud Abbott*; it was released posthumously. It's a curious comic-fantasy with no laughs, even for people who will laugh at anything.

Lou is a garbageman who tinkers around with the tubes, wires and electrodes that everybody in Candy Rock seems to dispose of on a weekly basis. His only friends are a robot brain he's built, and a dog. Well, he DOES have a girlfriend, Dorothy Provine (a full 30 years younger than her leading man), niece of the Mr. Potter of Candy Rock, none other than Gale Gordon. One day, while sparking with her sweetie in Dinosaur Park, Dorothy blunders into a cave filled with odd gasses that, well, make her shed her dress quicker than Costello ever could. She throws a petulant fit when she doesn't get a giant milkshake, becomes frustrated because she can't make eggs for breakfast for Lou, stomps around town until Costello agrees to give her a nice, refreshing shower with a fire hose, and terrorizes the populace even though she just couldn't BE any sweeter. Eventually, the Army becomes convinced that she, Lou, the brain and probably the dog are from Mars, and come gunning with torpedoes.

Costello's timing is off, he clearly misses his partner, and the few old tricks he pulls out (skipping, speaking in the high, whiny voice) are just tired. A dreary swan song, even it is filmed in "Wonderama" and "Mattescope". Truth is, Lou just looks old and weary; he died five months before the film was released.

Million-dollar Dialog:
Prof. Lou: "They laughed at Einstein and his Theory of Relativity. Now EVERYBODY'S got relatives!"

Don't ever watch this. Go watch something else. Anything else. Trust me. If you're not going to listen to me, though, you can see it in HD and widescreen on Amazon Prime.

*Yes, I'm aware Costello was an extra in the 1920s in the days before he met Bud. Hush.

ALSO ON THE PROGRAM

For the kiddies a trio of color cartoons, including Magoo Express, a funny parody of 1950s movies, with Magoo traveling with foreign spies trying to sneak a bomb out of the country in a cigar; The Port of Lost Mice, with Mighty Mouse (back in his yellow-and-red togs) saving the day back on the old Barbary Coast from shanghaiing cats; The Arctic Giant, with Superman battling a dinosaur in one of the very best cartoons ever. Then it was on to episode 5 of our serial Superman (the Spider Lady was only messin' with Lois when she threw her into the electric web) and trailers for an upcoming double-feature, A Bucket of Blood and Attack of the Giant Leeches. Wow and WOW.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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Cartoonguy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Cartoonguy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Joined: August 19th, 2008, 3:42 am

October 6th, 2012, 1:38 am #2

This film makes the weakest Abbott and Costello's look good.
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Laughing Gravy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Laughing Gravy
Balcony Gang, Foist Class
Joined: September 1st, 2005, 4:44 am

May 13th, 2018, 3:55 pm #3

Updated review for a new generation.
"I'm glad that this question came up, because there are so many ways to answer it that one of them is bound to be right." - Robert Benchley
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