Anyone have problems with friends being jealous of Neil-friends?

Anyone have problems with friends being jealous of Neil-friends?

Ginny G.
Ginny G.

September 14th, 2002, 6:43 pm #1

Since we've been discussing "obsession" of traveling to multiple Neil concerts, making wonderful Neil friends, etc., I'm going to ask for some input that reflects a problem I'm having in my life.

I have not traveled extensively to see Neil, but I have done a bit of it. I've met wonderful Neil fans along the way that I feel are some of my closest friends. It has led to me taking non-Neil related vacations with some of these friends. All good, so far, right?

But, this has caused concern among my "non-Neil" friends. I'm not sure if they're really concerned about me being too consumed with Neil and "internet friends" or whether it's plain old jealousy that I have new friends and other people in my life besides them. It's caused me no end of tension and confusion, as I'm not sure if I'm "reading in" to their motives or whether this has come down to an issue of them trying to "control" me.

Gosh, it hurts me to even post this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it or what conclusions they have drawn from this situation. Thanks.
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Ginny G.
Ginny G.

September 14th, 2002, 7:08 pm #2

My family -- parents and siblings -- think my traveling with and making friends with "Neil people" is great. The problem is all with very long-term friends.
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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

September 14th, 2002, 7:17 pm #3

Since we've been discussing "obsession" of traveling to multiple Neil concerts, making wonderful Neil friends, etc., I'm going to ask for some input that reflects a problem I'm having in my life.

I have not traveled extensively to see Neil, but I have done a bit of it. I've met wonderful Neil fans along the way that I feel are some of my closest friends. It has led to me taking non-Neil related vacations with some of these friends. All good, so far, right?

But, this has caused concern among my "non-Neil" friends. I'm not sure if they're really concerned about me being too consumed with Neil and "internet friends" or whether it's plain old jealousy that I have new friends and other people in my life besides them. It's caused me no end of tension and confusion, as I'm not sure if I'm "reading in" to their motives or whether this has come down to an issue of them trying to "control" me.

Gosh, it hurts me to even post this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it or what conclusions they have drawn from this situation. Thanks.
As long as you keep a healthy balance, I don't see why you can't have all the freinds you want!

Forget the Neil factor. You have certain things in common with some freinds and certain other things in common with other friends.

For example, I have a wonderful friend who would not have become my friend except for the fact that we work together. But we have shared much more than work because of our friendship.

I have another wonderful friend who would not have become my friend except for the fact that she is my next door neighbor. And we have shared much more than being neighbors because of our friendship.

Same with Neil friends. We would not have met these friends except for the fact that we are Neil Diamond fans. And we share much more than being Neil fans because of our friendship.


Are you seeing my point?
If your any of your friends (be they Neil friends or others) are concerned about any other part of your life that they don't relate to, then either they have a problem, or you have a problem for letting it get to you.

Remember you only have to answer to yourself.

I think...


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Rev. Bob
Rev. Bob

September 14th, 2002, 7:17 pm #4

Since we've been discussing "obsession" of traveling to multiple Neil concerts, making wonderful Neil friends, etc., I'm going to ask for some input that reflects a problem I'm having in my life.

I have not traveled extensively to see Neil, but I have done a bit of it. I've met wonderful Neil fans along the way that I feel are some of my closest friends. It has led to me taking non-Neil related vacations with some of these friends. All good, so far, right?

But, this has caused concern among my "non-Neil" friends. I'm not sure if they're really concerned about me being too consumed with Neil and "internet friends" or whether it's plain old jealousy that I have new friends and other people in my life besides them. It's caused me no end of tension and confusion, as I'm not sure if I'm "reading in" to their motives or whether this has come down to an issue of them trying to "control" me.

Gosh, it hurts me to even post this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it or what conclusions they have drawn from this situation. Thanks.
..."friend?" If I feel close to someone who loves Barry Manilow and seeks out those with a similiar attitude, is he/she no longer my friend? Do I determine a friend only with the criteria that they have to be in "lockstep" with my point of view? I certainly hope not.! My wife - my best friend - loves fantasy fiction, which I don't particularly care for. Does that mean she has to "give up her space" and only live in areas of my interest? I hope not. She loves to dance; I can't and don't. Does that mean that I won't allow her to dance with a man that has a talent I don't pretend to have? I hope not. We have mutual friends, of course; but at the same time she has her circle of people that share her interests, asI have those that share mine. Does that mean either one of us has to be "jealous" of one another? Of course not; we have to follow our hearts interest, and often at least some of our "space" isn't mutually shared. There's such a thing as "smother-love" which can be deadly. And a love (friendship, husband/wife whatever)that tries to manipulate or play some insidious mind game is no love at all. It's control. And that's bad.
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Shirley
Shirley

September 14th, 2002, 8:50 pm #5

As long as you keep a healthy balance, I don't see why you can't have all the freinds you want!

Forget the Neil factor. You have certain things in common with some freinds and certain other things in common with other friends.

For example, I have a wonderful friend who would not have become my friend except for the fact that we work together. But we have shared much more than work because of our friendship.

I have another wonderful friend who would not have become my friend except for the fact that she is my next door neighbor. And we have shared much more than being neighbors because of our friendship.

Same with Neil friends. We would not have met these friends except for the fact that we are Neil Diamond fans. And we share much more than being Neil fans because of our friendship.


Are you seeing my point?
If your any of your friends (be they Neil friends or others) are concerned about any other part of your life that they don't relate to, then either they have a problem, or you have a problem for letting it get to you.

Remember you only have to answer to yourself.

I think...

Everything I wrote in my post below could apply to any number of "obsessions" or hobbies. For instance, some guys may be big NASCAR fans or sports buffs. My uncle went to golf tournaments all over the world. He usually took his wife with him as she shared his interest and they played golf together often but not always. My husband's aunt was "into" bowling so much that she went to her regular weekly bowling match on the day of her mother's funeral. I really don't look down on anyone who does any of that, unless they do it to the complete exclusion of other things. For instance, I know some people who spend so much time online they hardly ever talk to other people. All their friends are online. I almost got like that when I moved to Ohio from Florida. It was fun up to a point and then it just seemed kind of wierd. Now I am working again, attending social functions and meeting new people plus corresponding with old friends in Florida and I feel my life is much more balanced. While I never had friends who thought I was wierd for liking Neil Diamond so much, I HAVE had friends and family who got sick and tired of hearing me talk about Neil and concerts all the time. Balance is the key to a hapy life,in my opinion.
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Alan Smith
Alan Smith

September 14th, 2002, 9:35 pm #6

Since we've been discussing "obsession" of traveling to multiple Neil concerts, making wonderful Neil friends, etc., I'm going to ask for some input that reflects a problem I'm having in my life.

I have not traveled extensively to see Neil, but I have done a bit of it. I've met wonderful Neil fans along the way that I feel are some of my closest friends. It has led to me taking non-Neil related vacations with some of these friends. All good, so far, right?

But, this has caused concern among my "non-Neil" friends. I'm not sure if they're really concerned about me being too consumed with Neil and "internet friends" or whether it's plain old jealousy that I have new friends and other people in my life besides them. It's caused me no end of tension and confusion, as I'm not sure if I'm "reading in" to their motives or whether this has come down to an issue of them trying to "control" me.

Gosh, it hurts me to even post this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it or what conclusions they have drawn from this situation. Thanks.
LOL.
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Anonymous
Anonymous

September 14th, 2002, 9:42 pm #7

Since we've been discussing "obsession" of traveling to multiple Neil concerts, making wonderful Neil friends, etc., I'm going to ask for some input that reflects a problem I'm having in my life.

I have not traveled extensively to see Neil, but I have done a bit of it. I've met wonderful Neil fans along the way that I feel are some of my closest friends. It has led to me taking non-Neil related vacations with some of these friends. All good, so far, right?

But, this has caused concern among my "non-Neil" friends. I'm not sure if they're really concerned about me being too consumed with Neil and "internet friends" or whether it's plain old jealousy that I have new friends and other people in my life besides them. It's caused me no end of tension and confusion, as I'm not sure if I'm "reading in" to their motives or whether this has come down to an issue of them trying to "control" me.

Gosh, it hurts me to even post this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it or what conclusions they have drawn from this situation. Thanks.
that they feel that way because they might feel as if they have to compete for your time and attention. If that's the case, then maybe you should re-think how important it is to spend time on people you (for the most part, I assume) don't see everyday vs. the ones you DO see everyday. (Because I would imagine the association w/Neil - whether you do non-Neil things sometimes or not - makes the whole aura of being w/them more exciting, right? ).

And if that's not the problem? Then I suspect it's probably your other friends' personal insecurity issues.
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SB
SB

September 14th, 2002, 9:46 pm #8

LOL.
I am sorry it didn't turn out so great--I was using a cheap digital camera that allowed no adjustments and Linda never had enough light on her to get a satisfactory photo--this is the only one that turned out at all (too bad about the one that would have had her whole leg sticking out of that slit skirt).

I wish I had thought to take an old photo to try to get autographed for you. I hope I get another chance!

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Anonymous
Anonymous

September 14th, 2002, 9:47 pm #9

that they feel that way because they might feel as if they have to compete for your time and attention. If that's the case, then maybe you should re-think how important it is to spend time on people you (for the most part, I assume) don't see everyday vs. the ones you DO see everyday. (Because I would imagine the association w/Neil - whether you do non-Neil things sometimes or not - makes the whole aura of being w/them more exciting, right? ).

And if that's not the problem? Then I suspect it's probably your other friends' personal insecurity issues.
I find that ones I have a bond with in some way about something or someone in particular (like in your case Neil) makes it funner to let my hair down and blab until the sun goes down about it, without being made to feel like you're weird, obsessed, or a bore... because they understand .

Maybe you should find something similar in common with your other friends, so that way their lack of Neilness won't be a bore to you. You can find something/someone else to be crazy about with them. (Do y'all love going to baseball games? Watching ER? etc. Get it?....)
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Anonymous
Anonymous

September 14th, 2002, 9:50 pm #10

I am sorry it didn't turn out so great--I was using a cheap digital camera that allowed no adjustments and Linda never had enough light on her to get a satisfactory photo--this is the only one that turned out at all (too bad about the one that would have had her whole leg sticking out of that slit skirt).

I wish I had thought to take an old photo to try to get autographed for you. I hope I get another chance!

At first I thought that was you, SB, and I was gonna say "OMG, you ROCK! You look great!"

But that's Linda Press in'it? Yeah... there's a clear photo online that I've seen of Linda and Neil from years ago where Neil's sweatin like a pig and Linda doesn't even look like Linda, because she looks so much younger in it. In fact, that's really the only other photo I've seen of them two together. (But then again, I never really looked for one.)
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