INTER-SERVICE RIVALRY IS ALIVE AND WELL !!!

Joined: October 22nd, 2009, 11:44 pm

June 12th, 2018, 3:20 am #1

The Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe race on the Potomac River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Navy won by a mile. Afterwards, the Air Force team became very discouraged and depressed. The officers of the Air Force team decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found.

A “Metrics Team,” made up of senior officers was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Navy had 8 seamen rowing and 1 officer steering, while the Air Force had 1 airman rowing and 8 officers and NCO's steering.

So the senior officers of the Air Force team hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.

To prevent losing to the Navy again the next year, the Air Force Chief of Staff made historic and sweeping changes: the rowing team’s organizational structure was totally realigned to 4 steering officers, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering NCO.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 airman rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the “Air Force Rowing Team Quality Program”, with meetings, dinners, and a three-day pass for the rower. “We must give the rower empowerment and enrichment through this quality program.”

The next year the Navy won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, the Air Force leadership gave a letter of reprimand to the rower for poor performance. Initiated a $4 billion program for development of a new joint-service canoe, blamed the loss on a design defect in the paddles, and issued career continuation bonuses and leather rowing jackets to the beleaguered steering officers in the hopes they would stay for next year’s race.

Meanwhile, the Army team is still trying to figure out why the oars keep making divots in the grass when they’re rowing.
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Joined: October 24th, 2007, 10:03 pm

June 12th, 2018, 1:42 pm #2

Uhhhh, You forgot the over-compensation wrist watches.😀
B-T-W wonder of that A.F. rower was “rated”?
(Only kidding, honest.) 
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Joined: February 14th, 2007, 4:48 am

June 12th, 2018, 7:36 pm #3

The oars will keep making divots in the grass anytime you don't install the wheels.
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Joined: January 18th, 2007, 6:05 am

June 13th, 2018, 1:55 am #4

Social commentary at it's best !!   :-)

Bill Shuey
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Joined: February 25th, 2006, 4:29 am

June 13th, 2018, 5:05 am #5

Those Air Force weenies ought to try serving in the armed forces instead.
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Joined: July 29th, 2006, 1:18 am

June 13th, 2018, 3:02 pm #6

I shared this with a close friend who is not only a USAF vet but also a retired USAF civil service employee. This was his response:

"I must object, sir, to that insulting and inaccurate portrayal of USAF
organizational prowess.  It is shocking to the core I say, sir.  The actual
composition of the 392nd Aerospace Canoe Squadron is 10 personnel as
follows:  1 Commanding Officer (O-4), 1 Executive Support Officer (O-3/O-2),
1 Commander's Assistant (GS-7), 1 Squadron Superintendent (E-9), 1 First
Sergeant (E7), 1 Squadron Administrator (E-5), 1 Combat Rowing Supervisor
(E-8),  2 Combat Rowing Instructors (E-6/E-5), and 1 Combat Paddler.  That,
sir, totals 2 Officers, 6 NCOs, and 1 Airman.  This story also ignores the
incredible work of the 392 Aerospace Rowing Wing which includes the
tip-of-the-spear 69th ACANS and various essential support units and all of
the courageous, hardworking military and civilian airmen of Palm Beach Air
Force Station.

STEPHEN "HAP" REEVES, BGen
Commander, 30th Aerospace Water Wing"

and then this:

"FAKE NEWS NETWORK, Mara Lago.  Northrop Grumman announced they have won the Air Force’s controversial Optionally Crewed Canoe Experimental (OCCX) competition.  Subsidiary Grumman Canoes received a contract to build two prototype OCCX water vehicles expected to be followed by up to 100 Low Rate Initial Production (LRIP) vehicles.  The LRIP production is under a separate Indefinite Delivery/Indefinite Quantity (IDIQ) contract.  The OCCX is a new, cutting edge state of the art water craft.  It is designed for use in any waters, salt or fresh.  It features low observability shaping and coatings and is to be 100% blended carbon fiber composition.  That is a significant change from the traditional aluminum structure used for past Grumman canoe designs.  The OCCX will operate with a single paddler and command staff – the latter in a fully enclosed cabin.  However, pioneering Grumman technology will allow provision for a remote commander/paddler crew to operate the unmanned water vehicle from any location on the planet or from space. Robotic Autonomous Paddling (RAPing) is also under consideration."
Michael McMurtrey
IPMS-USA #1746
IPMS-Canada #1426
CAHS #5646
Carrollton, TX

Proud IPMS-USA Low Number Thumper!
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Joined: February 24th, 2012, 2:23 am

June 13th, 2018, 4:37 pm #7

Its just like Ben said to Will, " Tha Air Force is jus' tha helpers."
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Joined: January 26th, 2006, 10:38 pm

June 13th, 2018, 11:46 pm #8

I cannot but notice the glaring omission of the Marine Corps Rowing Team... I think there is a intended slight here, and an obvious jealousy fueled and intended failure to recognize that any Marine Corp Canoe club, would swiftly, and solidly WHOOP any other team on the water, (Or grass, Sorry Army)... And if we could get them to fly, we'd beat them there too!😝
“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.”
- Ronald Reagan

Semper Fi, Don
Luke: 22:36
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Joined: July 29th, 2006, 1:18 am

June 14th, 2018, 12:11 am #9

When they heard the Gunnery Sergeant order "Pick up your oars," the Marines headed for the nearest bordello. Hence they forfeited the competition.
Michael McMurtrey
IPMS-USA #1746
IPMS-Canada #1426
CAHS #5646
Carrollton, TX

Proud IPMS-USA Low Number Thumper!
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Joined: April 27th, 2015, 9:31 am

June 25th, 2018, 8:41 am #10

We didn't even finish because our 'Ships of the Desert' all drowned.
George, out....................
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