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Joined: April 5th, 2015, 12:01 am

February 7th, 2017, 2:23 am #11

The archeologist looked like he was more worried than Motto, but his actions spoke differently. With only the instincts of a true relic enthusiast, Indeyana found what appeared to be a triggering mechanism on the statue’s back. The horse mayjuu had been a strange folk to design such a trap! The wretched mucous-like substance had already risen to Motto’s waistline in that short amount of time, and much to his relief it seemed to curdle and dissipate into nothing more than water. Now that’s fluidity had turned into something much more simple, the liquid drained out through the stone walls’ seams.

“rrRR.” Motto clamped a hand onto the statue to steady himself. The fever normally claimed a person in one hour, the blueish skin being the first sign, and total collapse a short time later. From there, the sickness’ victims would be incapacitated while suffering for a day or two until their death. Motto had managed to last many hours since he’d seen his own blue mark that morning. But the fever was relentless, and he had exerted himself too much in the tomb. Weak and sweating profusely, he sank to his knees.



“Indy. Hurry. Get these back the Hunter’s Association.”

With shaking hands he held the wooden box out to his comrade. The seeds needed nen to activate their healing properties, and even then, it was only a myth that they would work.
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Joined: November 10th, 2016, 6:02 pm

February 7th, 2017, 2:32 am #12

Damn motto jump on my back i,ll bring both you and the cure to the hunter association and then inde walked and walked and walked and just keep on walking no rest no food and no drinks just walked on and then mottos snoreing was getting louder and louder soon inde got to the hunter association and then given the cure and motto over to them while praying For the best hoping comes out of this alive Damn you motto you son of gun if you die right now then i will kill you until you come to live you what we've been though as friends i cant die you selfish bastard sitting down to haveing a smoke while sweating profusely inde thought to himself motto just live i know your past someone told Me about nen still don't know how-to use it you used to use it until one day you went berserk and killed an random bystander then you stopped but as a friend i'll help you redeem your self
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Joined: April 5th, 2015, 12:01 am

February 8th, 2017, 5:18 pm #13

Somehow the raven managed to latch onto his partner before blacking out. Darkness greeted Motto as he descended into the fever’s cruel effects. He saw Runa in that black dress. She had stood close to him backstage and kissed his cheek. Motto watched helplessly as she faded before his eyes. Maybe he’d join her soon.

Fortunately for the brave pair, the unarmed man didn’t have time to formulate a plan of attack. Waiting outside the tomb, he intended to attack knowing full well it was the only way out. Yet, he simply watched them bolt past the mountain entrance and grabbed fistfuls of stone in his frustration. He would avenge Jose. He just needed time. And more power. And a bit more courage.

Two hours later, the Zodiac carefully handled the wooden box when Indeyana arrived via airship. Motto was taken directly to the city hospital and woke up sometime later when the legendary healing flower proved successful. Blinking up at the ceiling, he struggled to understand where he was and what happened. Indeyana had saved his life. His and thousands of others. It was moments like these, that being a Hunter was just plain awesome.

Fumbling for his cell phone, Motto swiped until he found Indeyana’s contact info.

TEXT: Thanks man. I owe you
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Joined: December 18th, 2014, 8:06 pm

February 9th, 2017, 9:37 pm #14

Gon with Motto Brooks
Total Rewards: 2 SP, 4 RP, 300,000 Jenni
--IC Notes--
A report by the Hunter's Association Mission Departure commended Motto's performance and recognized his contribute to ending the outbreak of fever in the Republic of Padokia, due to which over ten thousand people died. A member of the Zodiac also praised his actions.
--Comments to the Roleplayer--

Gon, you have a talent for crafting coherent stories in very few words. As usual, your writing was very clear and precise, always relevant to the plot and never redundant. However, I think that, in this case, this was a story that ought to be expanded on. Whereas I liked the fact that you started off in medias res, in the middle of the action and providing the necessary background knowledge only afterwards, it felt somewhat insufficient, considering the heroic feats Motto and Indeyana performed. I also think you kind of exaggerated the scale of the problems Motto is expected to solve - it's not that you can't do that, but it feels somewhat implausible that a newbie hunter and a hunter applicant are the ones to be on the right place and the right time to stop a catastrophe that could claim millions of lives. It's, at the very least, a bit too cliché. I do get that the intention was more to experience and practice roleplaying that developing the story itself, but that's something you could improve.
Amer aaaaaa with Indeyana Joens
Total Rewards: 1 SP, 3 RP, 200,000 Jenni
--IC Notes--
Indeyana Joens is now watched closely by a certain member of the Hunter's Admissions Board who heard of his contribution to the erradication of the Padokian fever that spread through the Republic two weeks ago. She remarked that this applicant showed clear potential, and is interested in working with him in the future, when he obtains his hunter's license.
--Comments to the Roleplayer--

I know that English is not your native language, but I think you should pay more attention to grammar, spelling and punctuation. I suggest you use an online dictionary to find the meaning of words you don't know, or translate them from your language using a translator tool. A few of your posts were almost incomprehensible. Congratulations on your first complete thread!
This topic is now completed.
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