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Joined: January 27th, 2012, 6:00 pm

July 16th, 2016, 6:46 pm #81

Still on the phone, Gaulder listened carefully to Mizaki's statements, nodding in complete agreement. As the hunter approached the topic of the loose mercenary, however, his brow furrowed in displeasure. "So you're saying that we should just let a key informant in this case - a murderer -go free? If I had to warrant a guess, there's no one in this outpost - alive - with anywhere close to the amount of information he can give us." After a moment however, his brow relaxed and a look of vanquished acceptance spread across his face. He lowered his head, the hand in which he held his cellphone dropping to his side. "Haa... but if even a professional hunter is telling me this, it would be idiotic of me to keep letting people die. I'm going to get my ass handed to me by my superiors if they find out I let Lemmings' killer get away - and not just because he's guilty, some of them were friends of his." His defeated look was soon replaced with one of determination, raising his cellphone back to his ear. "People's lives are more important than my career." He unclicked the mute button, and spoke directly into the phone's receiver. "Contact all of the roadblocks, and tell the men there to prepare to dissolve them whenever I give the order."

The car took a sharp turn on the street bringing the image of the administration building with smoke pillaring out a second story window into view a short distance ahead. "We're going to let them go," Gaulder went on, staring ahead at the aflame building, "but we're not throwing a white flag completely; it'd be best if we could identify the direction they escape in and then convince the military to dispatch a force to cut them off. Fortunately, this nation's military leaders have a higher opinion of me than its sleazy politicians do."
-------------
"So... how are we gonna get out of this, alpha?" a voice whispered, the last word conveyed with a mocking tone. "The loose ends have all been tied up, but we're still trapped like rats."

In the shadow of a building, the mercenary in ragged black clothing rested his back against a wall, touching the aching scorch marks on his face tenderly while struggling to ignore the pain of his injuries. His gaze narrowed. "Not all of them. Not yet."

-------------
BOOM!!!

A thundering roar erupted some dozens of meters down the road ahead of Mizaki and Gaulder as an explosion erupted from within a car just moments after a government man had stepped inside and moved it off the side of the street. The driver of their own vehicle slammed the breaks, and Gaulder instantly thrust the door open to stare at the vehicle in shock. "Why...!?" he growled through clenched teeth, before gunfire resounded from above them.

Between the exploded car and their own vehicle, an unknown figure stood atop a one-story building on the side of the street opposite the administration building. The figure looked to be a stockily built man, slightly heavyset with thick sideburns and neck-length shaggy black hair that had a skunk-like white streak down the middle. In either of the man's hands was an uzi that he flashed threateningly at the people below, while on his large waistline he carried a belt adorned with a variety of metallic canisters. What immediately drew Gaulder's attention, however, was the dark green-brown flak jacket that he wore over his torso - more specifically, the emblem of a crocodile-like creature with its jaws agape on the jacket's breast. "Feeding Caiman...!" Gaulder hissed in recognition while throwing himself around the car before the mercenary atop the building open fired onto the street.

As soon as he had taken cover, Gaulder whipped out a handgun of his own and begun to return fire along with a dozen other government men along the street. Behind the row of buildings the mercenary was standing on top of Mizaki might hear a speeding car fly past his position on another street, and after mere seconds of firing the mercenary had stepped backwards and leapt down onto the same street.
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Joined: December 18th, 2014, 8:06 pm

July 19th, 2016, 11:11 pm #82

A hint of a frown was briefly visible in the hunter's face, as Gaulder spoke. He had not expected neither the vehement displeasure he had first expressed, nor his subsequent acceptance of his command. Blaive had intrepreted his words to a further extent than that he had intended them to convey.

He was about to amend himself when he heard the order he barker through the phone, but quietly acquiesced afterward. He supposed that was indeed the best course of action, and bit his lip. It disconcerted him - the weight that his hunter's license carried to his arguments; he sought responsibility, yet such authority was dizzying to bear. He nodded.

"It was my decision, whatever the outcome, if that helps you anyhow.", Mizaki said. "I, for one, find your actions commendable; and I daresay that my option is not entirely ignored. If Lemming's friends care so to avenge the fool, maybe they'll find someone to hunt the organization down, and I definitely wouldn't mind that."

"I concur, it would be idiotic to try to hunt the mercenaries without the necessary resources - they are professionals. It is foolish to attempt to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear; and doubly so to ask that of a man.", he added. "And, honestly, I'd rather be in Marklil's military leader's good graces than those of its politicians; the former last far longer, and are far more reliable allies."
-------------
Mizaki was jolted by the explosion that vaporized his drowsiness. He leapt out of the vehicle immediately after the driver slammed the brakes on. He cursed, as he saw the exploded car. An ambush, he decided as he spotted the figure on top of the nearby building. He had feared this, but he assumed that the mercenary had considered him dead.

No, assumptions had already costed him too much - not even brute beasts or wandering birds fell into the same traps or nets twice. Yet, he could hardly prepare himself, even though he had been wary of the possibility. Moreover, it was too early to decide it was certainly an ambush; perhaps he was already retreating. He had likely proved himself too much of a bother to dispose of.

He was armed with a firearm. Blaive. He fought back with his own handgun - perhaps that was whom they were after. He recognized him - and spat out his name, altough he couldn't hear it. Mizaki decided he must protect him, as a flurry of questions arose within his mind. If it were an ambush, why where there only one man? Had he injured the other mercenary badly enough for him to be forced to escape, or was he somewhere else?

Mizaki ran towards the man, intending to approach from the side of the building, and paid little heed to the bullets that darted through the air, dangerously close to himself. However, before he could reach him, the man stepped backwards and retreated. He faintly heard a car, amidst the chaotic clamor of swarming projectiles, flames and frantic shouts.

He grit his teeth and focused aura on his legs, trying to ignore the excruciating pain on his foot. Mizaki jumped, hoping that, from the vantage point that the building provided, he would be able to determine where the car was heading.
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Joined: January 27th, 2012, 6:00 pm

October 30th, 2016, 4:41 pm #83

Repeated gunshots reverberated through the outpost from the violent firefight. A trio of bullets broke through two windows of the car Gaulder had been using as cover as the shooter waved his uzis in a horizontal motion down the length of the road, embedding themselves into the ground near the official's feet. As the other government men fired back near-randomly in his direction out of fear of exposing themselves long enough to be shot, Gaulder was the only one to peer out of cover and take careful aim. He emptied his clip, and it was only after the mercenary visibly stumbled upon being struck in the torso by several of Gaulder's shots - though mostly protected by his bulletproof flak jacket and a coating of ten - that he stepped backwards and leapt off the roof in retreat.

Mizaki was already charging in his direction as the mercenary retreated, and soon concentrated aura on his legs in attempt to jump onto the roof of the building. He unfortunately failed to reach that high, but would succeed in reaching a ledge two-thirds of the way up that would allow him to scramble up higher. From the rooftop he would see the mercenary leap into the speeding vehicle, which had left a door leading to the backseat ajar in order to allow this, and then watch as it rocketed down the street and then disappeared down a corner. Knowing the layout of the town, Mizaki would be able to recognize that the vehicle was heading in the direction of the outpost's northern exit.

"Hey!" Gaulder roared at Mizaki from the ground, approaching the building he had just scaled and staring up at him. He didn't call the hunter by his real name or refer to him as a hunter out of respect for the secretiveness Mizaki had tied to his identity the day before. "What's going on? Where's the shooter!?" The official had a cellphone held to his ear, already in contact with others in the outpost in order to ensure that everyone was on high alert. "Any idea what their goal is!?"
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Joined: December 18th, 2014, 8:06 pm

November 3rd, 2016, 11:32 pm #84

Shit. He had wasted precious moments clambering up to reach the rooftop. Mizaki could only see the mercenary leaping into a vehicle that promptly sped up towards the Gakhaji's northern exit. He had seen him stumbling after Blaive shot him multiple times. Gaulder had remained calm and took careful aim, and augmented the hunter's already elevated impression of the aging official. If Lemmings is dead, why are they only retreating now?, he wondered.

"He's jumped into a car headed towards the northern exit", Mizaki shouted from the rooftop, answering Blaive's question - even in such a situation, he remembered his intent to mantain his identity secret, and had not called him by his name, or rank. However, the official's second question was far harder to answer. Lemmings hired these mercenaries. He paid Barbaros to spread rumors about Nasia exploring the explosive minerals. Lemmings is dead. He has been murdered by the mercenaries, who are working in teams of at least two.

Mizaki wondered if he'd met that person. Arnold's strategy hardly makes sense. Why would he want to incriminate Nasia when he himself was profiting from the sale of the explosive minerals to the Vangarian Federation? It was a risky gamble, and did not free him of suspicion. Had Nasia truly been the scapegoat for Lemming's scheme, or had she decieved everyone and actually played a part? Why did Lemmings spread rumors about the explosive minerals instead of remaining quiet? Unless... what was exactly the mercenary's part in this? Why had an influential and well-connected man like Arnold willingly end up in an outpost in the middle of nowhere? What had exactly been the plan?

If I were the mercenary, I would be focused on destroying evidence, if the plan did really fall through.. He was certain their raid of the outpost's administration building had also had that intent, and Arnold's murder served that purpose. If I were part of a mercenary organization, I wouldn't fancy people knowing of my failures. Unless, of course, they couldn't communicate anymore - and those to whom we wish eternal peace don't talk much, usually. However, there was perhaps yet one loose end. Nasia? Blaive? He had recognized the second mercenary. Not Barbaros, for sure. Anyone else who might know too much? What had they just accomplished?

Mizaki's head thumped, intense pain emanated from his whole body and he struggled to answer the question. What did they ought to do, then? With Lemmings died most of the secrets of this outpost, and they'll be painful to unearth. As for the minerals, it's unlikely that the mercenaries can complete erase every trace of them, if there is any left to analyse. What, or who were the loose ends the mercenaries intended to cut off? Although both mercenaries were injured, they were capable of fighting. He needed to make a decision. Now.

"No, but whatever it is, I bet we want to prevent them from achieving it.", he answered, and jumped down, first towards the ledge, and then focusing aura on his legs to break his fall. "Who's the mercenary with the crocodile emblem on his jacket?", the hunter asked Blaive once he got near him. "We cannot, regardless of what happens, lose sight of the vehicle, if we want to capture the mercenaries. Order those at the northern exit to describe it and to identify its license plate, if it has one. I suggest we leave most people here to treat the wounded and pursue it".

"If they have not yet finished their business here, we might be in time to frustrate their attempts and preserve evidence. If not, then perhaps we'll be able to monitor their movements and maybe, with the right phone calls, we can convince Marklil to dispatch a unit to deal with them. Actually, this may very well fall under the jurisdiction of the Nen Police. If we can track them, they're done. However, I doubt it'll be easy.", he continued. "It is of the utmost importance that we mantain and protect enough evidence to reach solid conclusions about this whole affair. I - and presumably many influential people - want to see Arnold's murderers behind bars, but my job is first and foremost to investigate the explosive minerals and the transactions involving them."
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Joined: January 27th, 2012, 6:00 pm

November 4th, 2016, 5:05 pm #85

“Connect me to the north road block, now!” Gaulder would speak urgently into his phone when Mizaki informed him of the direction the mercenaries were headed for. He was in the process of speaking to the men there when the hunter landed on the ground next to him, and turned around to bolt back in the direction of their bullet-riddled vehicle soon after. “I’ve already sent a warning to everyone nearby not to drive if they’ve been away from the vehicle at any point recently – that might not be the only bomb they set,” he noted to Mizaki as they moved. “Ours should be fine.”

With their original driver having fled during the shootout while leaving the keys in the ignition, Gaulder pulled open the door to the driver’s seat and, after quickly sweeping broken glass shards off the seat from where a window had been shot through, jumped inside to take the wheel. He would let out a short expletive when he found that the exploded car burning in the middle of the street would prevent him from driving through, forcing him to turn the car around and take a short detour on his way to the northern exit. “Maybe they just wanted to slow us down...” he muttered angrily while adjusting the stick shift to put the vehicle in reverse.

“The mercenary with the uzis...” he finally replied to Mizaki’s question once they were finally beginning to accelerate. “…don’t know him specifically, but the symbol I recognize. It’s the insignia of an international mercenary organization by the name of Feeding Caiman; specializing in working below the law. Big corporations will often hire them to do their dirty work, I’ve heard.” The car swerved as Gaulder took a tight turn. “Feeding Caiman is made up of hardened ex-soldiers that murder for profit. Not a group to take lightly.”

His phone still held to his ear, the man’s expression soon devolved into one of alarm as Mizaki heard frightened shouting resound from the other end. Something about a car approaching the roadblock at high speed, showing no signs of slowing down. “DISSOLVE NOW!” Gaulder roared into the receiver at the top of his lungs. “It may be rigged to explode! Clear the road and let it through – that’s an order!”

After several more turns, the pair would arrive at the road leading north out of town. A pair of trucks that had previously been sitting in the center of the road to block the path were now retreated onto either shoulder, while a third vehicle much further away was rapidly fading into the horizon. “I’ll contact some people I know,” Gaulder said, not stopping the vehicle. “Try to cut them off from the other side. In the meanwhile… do you think we should give pursuit ourselves? I doubt we’ll catch them, but at least we can keep tabs on them for a while.”
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Joined: December 18th, 2014, 8:06 pm

November 5th, 2016, 11:56 pm #86

Ours should be fine. Mizaki nodded at Gaulder's remark. He had not yet had the chance to think about that. If I had been in the other car, I'd be dead. A disquieting thought. And yet, it hardly unsettled him. He was a hunter. Any misstep, and every slip could cost him his life. Whereas this one hadn't claimed it, the next one could. He could not misstep, and he could not slip. He couldn't afford to be fear failure. He could not err, but he embraced his errors. A stumble taught him how not to stumble, and every stumble lowered the likelihood of the next. Often, that was dubbed experience. Nothing ever fails in vain.

"Maybe. Yet, I suspect that wasn't their only intent.", he said. I have no idea what their true goal was, however. Blaive had clearly seen many situations as these. He hadn't hesitated one moment amidst the crisis, and acted as swiftly as the situation had urged. After all, the V6 was more than a bunch of useless bureaucrats, as one would be led by some to believe. If they wanted to slow us down, though, they have certainly succeeded.

Feeding Caiman. He assented. Mizaki had not recognized the insignia, but he had heard about the organization. And from what he'd heard, the eye-patched official's recommendation was not without justification. Feeding Caiman has nen users amongst their members. If the Nen Police weren't already investigating the organization, he might sparkle their interest on the case.

Gaulder bellowed a command through the phone. He had been correct, then - the mercenaries really were making it for the northern exit of the outpost, evidently retreating. It would be foolish to mantain the roadblock. If Lemming's friends want to capture his muderers, they can go after them themselves. As long as I hold some influence here, no lives shall be needlessly risked.

He mused on the question he was asked. Mizaki wanted rest, and painkillers. It was not his job. As Blaive had told him, they would never catch them. If they did, he doubted he was, in his current state, a decent match for both Feeding Caiman members. "Yes. I know we won't overtake them, but what are we wasting if we pursue them, besides fuel?", he finally answered. "If we do, we might be lucky enough to grasp where they are headed to."
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Joined: January 27th, 2012, 6:00 pm

November 20th, 2016, 9:49 pm #87

Slamming on the gas, at Mizaki's decision Gaulder accelerated their car onto the road leading out of the outpost. AT the same time, he would dial his phone to contact the nation's military and attempt to set up their roadblock plan. Their surroundings were quickly replaced with the depressing gray of the Marklil desert, traveling through it for several minutes in pursuit of the vehicle barely visible in the distance ahead of them. It was at this point, however, that the pair would notice an odd behavior in the mercenaries' movement.

The beaten road caused the escaping car to shake and jump with increasing rapidity, slowly diverting the straight angle at which it was driving into a slanted one. "No, no, no...!" Gaulder would hiss as the vehicle they were chasing after slipped off the road and into the rough, uneven desert ground; an action the driver should have easily been able to correct if it hadn't become increasingly clear by this point that it lacked one. He banged his fist into the steering wheel angrily, slamming the breaks as a patch of rock sent the vehicle toppling onto its side. "We've been had!"

Thirty seconds past, the car's wheels continuing to spin uselessly against the air, before the vehicle burst into an explosion. "Shit...!" he growled, watching the burning vehicle before attempting to turn their own around yet again. A ringing reverberated from his cellphone, and he answered it in silence. "I understand," he replied to the person on the other end with a tone of irritation. "Relay this to the military. Tell them the info I gave them earlier was wrong." After hanging up, Gaulder would turn his head to Mizaki. "Another vehicle just broke past the southern road block," he explained. "No way we'll be catching up to them now. Hopefully, the military can still cut them off, though."
----------------
"Finally made it out of there..." Beta said from the backseat of the pair's car, staring out the back window at a pillar of smoke emanating from an exploded road block in the distance behind them. A confident grin was plastered on his face as he pulled a large serrated knife of a holster on his belt. "bout time."

Alpha grunted from the driver's seat. "Now," he said, darting his eyes into the rear view mirror where he could see comrade beginning to undress his torso, "the loose ends have been tied up."

"Heh," Beta chuckled in agreement, having removed his bulletproof flak jacket and held it in front of him while flowing aura into the knife in his other hand. "I'll say," he said while thrusting the shuu-laced knife into the vest and then beginning to tear through it, ripping the crocodilian emblem on its breast messily in half, "with this, reputation for the failure will fall squarely on our competitor. More business for us...!"
----------------
Upon returning to Gakhaji, Gaulder did not even bother attempting to chase after the vehicle that had escaped to the south. Instead, he ordered his men - those that were still healthy - as well as a number of trusted local employees to perform another thorough search of the outpost in case the mercenaries were still there. Their last thorough search had never uncovered the mercenaries in the first place, of course, but it was the only course of action he could think to do. Mizaki was quickly brought to the medical building alongside a number of injured men, where the local nurses and doctors had been ordered to return to their posts unlike the night before.

It wouldn't be until well into the evening that any updates were given to them. The military had sent a small armed force north towards Gakhaji ready to take on the mercenaries, only to find their vehicle abandoned in the middle of the desert highway. It was suspected that the men had escaped into the desert midroute, and a search party had already been sent out to search for them. In the meanwhile, Mizaki was informed that - despite no traces of the minerals being discovered and the mercenaries' escape - the government considered his secret investigation of the mining outpost to be a success. With proof of misdeeds occurring there brought to light, it was determined that they no longer had a direct need for his service there and opted to end the contract.

Nasia was allowed to maintain ownership of the mine for the time being, assuming that she agreed to allow government men to oversee all operations, and the trials of those involved in the plot would go on for many months. It was eventually determined that Arnold was likely the sole mastermind of this plot, having used his skill in business management acquired through his Ivy League education to work around not only Almad's sphere of influence, but Nasia's as well.

After several fruitless days, the search for the mercenaries in the desert was called off, and after months of digging failed to bring up any evidence of the mineral the government eventually agreed to offer full immunity to any low level workers who would admit that they'd physically handled the substance. Not a single person came forth. This, combined with the discovery of a potent - rare, but known - explosive compound by the name of C-13 within the collapsed underground warehouse, led to the decision that its existence had been purely fabricated. The reason that the exploded truck was headed for the Varangian Federation remained unknown, although the VF itself predictably refused to admit any involvement.
---


"Sir," a voice resounded from an intercom on a desk, echoing off the draped walls of an enormous, highly decorated office, "I was told to inform you that a man by the name of Arnold Lemmings has passed away."

A bespectacled man with dark skin and a thick black beard sitting behind the desk was silent in thought for a moment, before reaching up a finger to press a button on the intercom. "I see... thank you." He released the button, and rolled his chair backwards. The man stood, revealing a massive figure easily over six feet in height, and took a step towards a glass wall positioned beyond his desk. Peering through the window, he looked down at the skyline of a massive city.

Many years ago, at an elite social event he had expressed interest in acquiring a certain mine for his company - the perfect place to set up a trading empire that would dwarf even Gyren under the right guidance - but the owner was a stubborn witch that refused all offers sent to her. That was when a young fortuneseeker approached him, claiming that he could acquire this mine for him cheaply in exchange for a seat of power in this new empire. Such a shame.

"I have the leader of the Fern family on the line," the man's secretary said from the intercom, "he says he's ready to make a deal."

...

Of course, that was only one dream of many.


Arcelor Welch
Chairman and CEO of Supercorporation Common Steel
~Mission Complete~
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Joined: December 18th, 2014, 8:06 pm

December 1st, 2016, 12:15 am #88

Mizaki drifted into silence, and a headache obtruded in his thoughts. As they accelerated, gazing through the window, he saw but the bleak grey of the desert, and an almost indiscernible red blur in the horizon. He looked at Gaulder, and the official met his gaze in sudden understanding. He let out an exasperated sigh as the vehicle they were pursuing toppled and Blaive angrily brought their own car to a halt.

He watched the explosion impassively. Again, fooled. Mizaki nodded at the eye-patched official's statement. He doubted the military would cut the mercenaries off. It was clear they'd lost them, and that they wouldn't be seen for a while. A blacklist hunter might pull down a fortune from their bounties, or they might never be caught. He wouldn't be the one to deal out justice, regardless. He looked through the window at the enfolding bleak grey, as they silently made their journey back. I really need some sleep.
----------------
Mizaki woke up in his bed past midday with the clothes he had wore in the night before, several bandages and his left leg in a plaster cast. He had collapsed, exhausted, there, and not even the plentiful sand that smeared it and everything in the outpost had prevented him to rest. I definitely won't miss it, he thought. Or the food.

Gaulder had insisted on searching the outpost, and the young hunter had not bothered to stop him, although both knew it was pointless. He had seen his hunch confirmed - the military corps had found no trace of either mercenary but an abandoned vehicle. Mizaki feared the search party sent for them would have the same fate.

Mizaki rubbed his eyes, and covered the light that blinded him with his non-bandaged hand. What was Lemming's motive for spreading the rumors? Why did the mercenaries perpetrate the ambush, when they could have just escaped? He had a rough idea of the answers to both questions, and he had plenty of time to meditate on them. It would be suspicious if he left suddenly and, besides, he had a report to draft.
----------------
After the search party's unsuccess became evident, and it was called off, he supervised digging efforts with the intent to find evidence of the explosive mineral. Once it became clear that no such substance existed, he convinced governmental officials to grant immunity to any worker who admited handling it. He was himself convinced that the rumors were, beyond doubt, a fabrication, when no one went forward and upon the discovery of a known and potent explosive compound within the destroyed underground warehouse.

He was contacted by the Marklil government and informed that it considered his contracted fulfilled. He reported that Arnold Lemmings had been the mastermind of the conspiracy, had been reponsible for spreading the rumors about the explosive minerals' existence and suggested that links between him and any competitors to the Gakhaji outpost, and the Luxem Party be further investigated.

Moreover, he concluded that there was no evidence of Nasia's or Almad Isa's wrongdoing, and that neither had been involved in the criminal network. Arnold Lemmings had employed a mercenary organization to escort the truck on its way to the Vangarian Federation, he had found, one of whose members wore a Feeding Caiman insignia. Whether the organization he hired was that, in fact, or whether it had been intended as a cover-up, he recommended that information about these networks be made public to discredit them.
----------------
Mizaki, shrouded in darkness of the night, slipped an envelope under Jeremy's pillow. It read: Here is a sample of what was in Nasia's safe. I want a nice discount on your shop. If you keep your mouth shut, you might live long enough to own one. He attached a wad of banknotes to it. In the dawn, Mizaki left the outpost and transversed the grey desert, boundless and bare, whose lone and level sands stretched far away...
[+] Spoiler
After almost two years, it is finished. It was an amazing journey, and I was fortunate enough to often stay up late to reply to this thread and to feel the antecipation whenever Asylum posted - I always had to read his posts multiple times to understand them, because the first time I did so, I was always too excited and wondering if or how badly I had screwed up this time to comprehend anything at all.

Minecraft is possibly my favourite thread in this site so far. I feel obliged to thank Zungaken for coming up with the idea for this mission and, not first, but foremost, Asylum, for designing and narrating this awesome storyline. I also must thank Pyriz and Zacktheflash and others whom I might be forgetting who provided input on how to roleplay the fight scences and prevented me from doing very stupid things very often and get my character killed.

It's very interesting to look back, and to discern in my writing the evolution of my thoughts and personality during these two years. It is, in that way, like a diary, only way cooler.
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Joined: April 5th, 2015, 12:01 am

December 5th, 2016, 6:49 pm #89

Reward Table
Member Name:
Asylum
Character Name:
Narrator
Standard Reward
11 SP, Jenni: 5,000,000
Content Bonus
Incredible 75%
Effort Bonus
Extensive 25%
Total Rewards: 22 SP, Jenni: 10,000,000, 55 RP
--Comments to the Roleplayer--
The first post is incredible. You set the mood for a serious and sophisticated RP.
You were generous in the combat sequences (flexible with Conjurer’s choices even when they weren’t feasible). A highly respectable sort of behavior although ideally it wouldn’t have to be used often. I’m uncertain on how to feel about so many of Mizaki’s actions being controlled by the narrator overall unless it was discussed elsewhere, but I am also inexperienced with missions. The fight in the underground storage area was excellent but on the trickier side to follow. There were many actions in each post, making them challenging to mentally track because they relied on an unpredictable response from Conjurer. Perhaps if one or two actions were to happen per post, it would be easier to comprehend. HOWEVER, all of your combat sequences were wonderfully descriptive and full of creativity. Something to aspire to in fact.

Also there were several instances where many of Mizaki’s actions were completely overlooked. (i.e. Posts 40 & 41) This was most likely to move the plot forward, but it was awkward to read and I began to feel badly for Conjurer after a while. Perhaps the plot might have gone forward with some adjustments to Conjurer’s choices instead?

At post 46 I began to suspect Arnold as the true culprit behind the illegal minerals dealing. Nicely done. Post 51 was where it began to feel like a G-Ranked Mission. Thank you. Clever use of Barbaros in post 73. I had assumed he had been left to die by Mizaki and began to write up IC comments about his family receiving compensation according to company policy. Post 77 was pure GOLD. I was especially impressed with the thrilling events being described in such a breath-taking way. It was the most exciting part of the entire thread for me as a reader. Your NPCs were all well used and distinct. Another reason this is an ideal read for those looking to improve as narrator.
Reward Table
Member Name:
Conjurer
Character Name:
Mikaki Kenmei
Standard Reward
11 SP, Jenni: 5,000,000
Content Bonus
Incredible 75%
Effort Bonus
Extensive 25%
Mission Bonus
G Rank
Total Rewards: 25 SP, Jenni: 11,000,000, 63 RP
--Comments to the Roleplayer--
Your enthusiasm is inspiring.

OVERALL this thread is exemplary in partner cooperation; working together and giving 100% effort to respect one another’s content and choices. Anyone who reads this will automatically gain better role playing skills not only as a participant of the story line, but as a writer looking to bring more substance to each and every post. As for the OOC comment in post 38, it IS great learning material, but due to the excellent teamwork and not the “mistakes”. Also, the story line isn’t nearly as important to me as whether or not it is a rewarding experience for the role players. You are not here to entertain me personally, but yourselves. In this, Minecraft is a huge success.

There was a significant amount of what felt like needless reinforcement of the narration. In many posts, you devoted several paragraphs to recounting what had already happened only with lengthier sentences. I honestly got a little lost on all of page 5 due to the strangely repetitive nature of each post. It is an admirable quality to honor your partner’s post content, but this thread was (at times) overwhelming and difficult to endure as a reader.

I really appreciated the focus on the truck driver’s death; a seemingly minor detail. It’s not often that role plays stop and take the time to acknowledge “small” things like this and I found it interesting and tastefully done. Also, it is admirable the amount of times you demonstrated familiarity with Markhill’s extensive area briefing as well as the details on Asylum’s various NPCs (even when they were mentioned only once). That’s good shit right there.
This topic is now completed.
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