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|Member Name:Gon Pro Hunter||Character Name:||Standard Reward3 SP, Jenni: 650,000|
|Content BonusGreat Content: +30%||Effort BonusLaudable Effort: +20%||Event Bonus|
Total Rewards: 8SP +20 RP +975 000 jenis
--Comments to the Roleplayer--You dared. You dared to put Rain man as an N.P.C in a casino event. That's ballsy of you.
When I saw that Alex earned 20 Might, I frowned being curious. That's only later that I understood the game was Hatsu related. Brilliant, I wasn't expecting that at all, that way, the implications become way more interesting.
At first, I was a bit worried it would become a bit too much redundant. Once you get the point, that's basically the narrator chat effects are gonna fall on Alex, and Alex describing what happened to him. But you waited for the right moment to push the consequences of the Hatsu even further, at least, further enough for the plot to diverify itself.
You really involved yourself with the gifs and also the technical detail (caliber of the gatling used to attack the Kitty Kat in the end).
Then, it's police time aaaaaand.... over. I'm not a big fan of zombie-like laughter so, I'm retty glad it ended quickly.
I'm not gonna tell you you're an awesome narrator, you probably hear that a lot. But I'll think it anyway.
|Member Name:Silver Scorpion||Character Name: Alex Snow||Standard Reward3 SP, Jenni: 650,000|
|Content BonusGreat Content: +30%||Effort BonusLaudable Effort: +20%||Event Bonus +3SP|
Total Rewards: 8SP +20 RP +975 000
--Comments to the Roleplayer--First thing I noticed : the pace. Most of the writter can't build any, it's not easy to install in the narration, but yours.... mmmmmmh ! Delightful, we're directly carried by the text. That's a fine beginning, taking your time building every element that are gonna play a role soon enough.
The drink looks awful by the way:D
And I thought Leji was the biggest coward of the forum. Joke aside, it was a nice move considering your partner left the thread, you didn't bother long before moving on, a quick thinker who adapt accordingly to the situation. Sir, you're a great rolist.
Still, even though you knew were you were heading at first, it took you some time hesitating on your character's actions. When there is gambling involved, it's respectable not going for the easy plot and simply gamble, you were aiming for originality rather than predictable plot.
I can't help to think the knife being drawn in your third post came a bit too soon. In such a peaceful environment, you've got to keep some composure and not go for action in the beginning, otherwise, that's a bit too much premature to act that way. To put it shortly, « Ocean's eleven » (the sixties movie, not the one with Clooney and stuff) featuring Rambo wouldn't have lasted ten minutes.
That's not very smart playing a game whose rules are unknown from you :D. I'm glad you made a recap of every actions on the board, it took me some time to understand each and every aspect of the game, being meticulous as you were was a huge help for the reader.
Once action begins (« zombie » stuff), your descriptions are really accurate and fit Gon's ones, that was an excellent writting there.
We've even been allow a small Flash Back on his learning of « The Smash »
Being a conspiracy theorist, I could prove you how wrong you are :D
If I enjoyed the whole thread, I wasn't that enthusiast about the end. I don't see why the army would cover the events since they don't know what happened either. Also, it feels your character doesn't even seem to care about the Nen implications, that's the end. A bit too abrupt to my taste.
But the whole plot was great, intense, and not just violence related. That's what I dig for !