wondering what you think of this

wondering what you think of this

Joined: February 20th, 2006, 11:35 pm

May 7th, 2012, 4:42 am #1

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

May 7th, 2012, 5:03 am #2

as an out of touch prude, too!!! I love the song too. But I dont have kids in grade school yet, so I am clueless about what really goes on in the lives of 2nd graders. (I try and shelter mine big timeonly PBS for tv and they dont know what Nintendo or Wii are yet) I cringe to even imagine 2nd and 3rd graders gyratingyuck!! They should be home playing with trucks and dolls!

But I guess for your 4 y/o, who has no idea what theyre talking about, it was probably best just to laugh and try and not look horrified. Has he been singing the song at home? If he asks you what sexy means, I would tell him that it means you dance really funny. (maybe that will explain the gyrations!!)

I know that sometimes in the car some great song from the 80s will come on, and the words arent entirely kid-friendly, but I just dont sing those parts:) My kids definitely enjoy the rhythm and beat of music, more than paying attention to the words.

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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

May 7th, 2012, 9:05 am #3

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
I remember hearing very young girls singing "Like a Virgin." At church. At youth group.

But they heard it on the radio, or perhaps from older siblings. We would not have played that for the kids.

I don't know if my cdc would play that or not. I'm thinking not. They should probably screen the dj's play list.

I think ds's 9yo friends think that "sexy" means you want to marry someone. I have heard and read that it's common for even very young girls to ask if something makes them look sexy, but I'm not around them enough to say for sure I've heard this. But when you look at the clothes for them, even in Target, it's pretty clear that they're very sexualized.

I would say "sexy" is a special kind of cuteness that's really for adults. I'm not sure it's a good idea to be too far off wr2 accuracy, because if, G forbid, he remembers what you told him, then later he might think you were lying or ignorant. But I understand you don't want tmi, either. Since you'd like him to drop it, I think you want to go for the most boring interpretation possible, without being completely inaccurate.

wr2 gyrating, I have noticed that even babies will move their pelvis in time to music, so maybe it's innate?




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 51, dh 52
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Last edited by goldiescholar on May 7th, 2012, 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: June 24th, 2005, 12:12 am

May 7th, 2012, 11:16 am #4

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
I think it's totally inappropriate and it pisses me off that adults are not more thoughtful or intentional about these choices or that, when questioned, they answer "oh, well, the kids hear it/see it everywhere anyhow." They hear it/see it everywhere anyhow because of doophuses (?) like you who either have poor judgment, don't think, or make up lame excuses.

I'm not a prude. I care very much that our young ones grow up to be full and healthy sexual beings and just don't think that early sexualization, of any sort, is going to help them get there.

As for when/if he asks (which my dd definitely would--she really listens to the words of songs), I like pp's response of "cute in a grown-up way" or "a word grown-ups use when they think they look good". But then you'd better really emphasize that it's not for kids or who knows who he'll use it for! Ugh.

Schools run into this kind of stuff all the time. All the time. I certainly didn't win all the battles, but I was the consistent voice in the crowd, if for no other reason but to keep up people's awareness of the many, and mixed, messages we send.



me:smc (single mom by choice)
FSH: 16
Dd: Conceived when I was 42 after 2 years ttc. Conceived on 6th IVF cycle after 2 bfn's and 3 m/cs.

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me:smc (single mom by choice)
FSH: 16
Dd: Conceived when I was 42 after 2 years ttc. Conceived on 6th IVF cycle after 2 bfn's and 3 m/cs.

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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

May 7th, 2012, 1:26 pm #5

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
i kind of thought this was rediculous when I heard it on the news but really, I wouldn't want anyone introducing this stuff to my kids so I can understand and agree with your disapproval.

Never heard the song so I don't know what the context of "sexy" is.

http://www.wcti12.com/news/31012771/detail.html

Z.
eta. when I used to teach music to children under 12, there was a song "can't remember the name now" but it was classical music and completely innocent, about a cat. In the song the cat was called "pussy cat". A parent complained and said that she didn't want her child singing any songs about any pussy. I was totally stunned and I guarantee you that the children were not even thinking along the lines of that parent's thoughts.

So I guess my point is, one has to be careful what they say, do, play in front of kids because it can be taken in any possible way. I doubt that the 6 yr old in my link has any clue about what he is singing but still, as a parent, I wouldn't want my children exposed to this stuff at such a young age. OMG PREESCHOOL????

What ever happened to "the wheels on the bus" and "elmo's" song? If one's profession is to entertain, one should get with the times and find a way to mix classic children's songs to more hip and modern beats. I have lots of music with old school songs for kids that are remixed with rapping, etc. My kids sing them all the time. Heck I have the sesame street theme song in a really nice mix that I used to teach my aerobics classes too and people LOVED it. They would always sing along to it.

Z.

Last edited by ZakiaZ on May 7th, 2012, 4:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

May 7th, 2012, 1:32 pm #6

Lillian, is this preschool separate from the k-5 school that ds will attend? It occurs to me that if the district schools have policies like the one in Colorado, the cdc is doing the kids a huge disservice by teaching things that can get them in trouble. That could be some real leverage to use if you decide to complain.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 51, dh 52
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
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Joined: September 4th, 2004, 1:08 am

May 7th, 2012, 3:56 pm #7

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
it really wasn't necessary to play that song and I agree that it is inappropriate for this event and age group. My first grader sang some of the lyrics at school and was reprimanded even though he doesn't really get what it means. I don't think your a prude and I agree with you
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Joined: March 12th, 2008, 1:22 pm

May 7th, 2012, 4:33 pm #8

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
I think it's completely inappropriate. I'll spare you my tirade on the state of our culture in general (Dance Moms; Toddlers in Tiaras; "Juicy," etc., splashed across pants' bottoms; push-up trainer bras; etc.). I think most people don't even think about lyrics, especially if they're not parents (the DJ, perhaps?) but I really think we have to care about this stuff. (Not pointing a finger at you, but I mean we as a society). I think we are becoming so desensitized to almost everything that we are losing our humanity. From "reality" shows that revel in humiliating and degrading participants and contestants on national TV (and living painfully ever after on You Tube)...to the 'little' things like not writing thank you notes...I really despair of the world our kids are inheriting.

OK, I realize that not only have I not spared you the tirade (at least, the preamble) -- but I've digressed from your question.

I might suggest to the school's officials that they monitor this kind of thing better in advance (preapprove the playlist, perhaps?). At DD's school, even middle school dances would not be allowed to include this music. INAPPROPRIATE is the big word here -- the kids at school know that if music includes swear words or adult references that it is inappropriate and therefore prohibited. DH got a Katy Perry CD for DD's birthday last summer, and as I was reading the lyrics I realized...INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!!! (catchy tunes, I admit, but I was appalled at the graphic content--I mean, I guess we had the equivalent when we were teens, but definitely not at 9 or 10, and certainly not in preK or K or 2nd or 3rd grade!!!!). Even though DD had already seen the CD and loaded it into her iPod, I took it back -- unloaded the music from her iPod -- and explained why. She was very disappointed, but accepted it -- she knows I'm strict about such things, and even now, she'll listen to music and say, "I really like this song, Mamma, but she uses a very bad word." We've started the age-appropriate conversation about what's not acceptable and why (even this kind of conversation is taking place earlier than it did in my day).

As for your little guys, since the horse is out of the barn, so to speak (and they'd be hearing it soon anyway) I think "cute in a grown-up way" is fine, or "that's something that married people say to each other (or grown up girlfriends and boyfriends)." And by the way, just because 'they'll hear it anyway' that doesn't make it OK to play at the preschool party (or elementary party, or what have you) -- because I really think that once we start relaxing our standards on what's OK and what's not OK, we start chipping away at childhood. I just don't think kids need to hear that, know about it, wear 'sexy' clothing (my gosh, the trash that's out there!) -- I mean, why? Childhood is so fleeting and so precious...it's hard enough to preserve it these days...I think we have to protect it for as long as we can.

The outside world will seep in soon enough -- no need to take it by the hand and usher it through our front door. So yes, if you're an out of touch prude, then I am, too, although I choose to replace 'out of touch prude' with 'concerned mother with standards.'

Not sure any of this was helpful--I feel like I just rambled on and on, and I'd better stop now before I get off on a tangent about fracking, GMOs, and more!--but at least you know you're not alone.

xoxox,
k.
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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

May 7th, 2012, 4:40 pm #9

OMG Dance moms!!! Can you believe??? n/t
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Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

May 7th, 2012, 4:42 pm #10

Yesterday DS's preschool had a fair/fundraiser for the school. It was meant for kids in the preschool and the before/aftercare, so really kids up to about 3-4th grade. They had a dj playing music for the cake walk, and then he also played some music for the kids to dance to after the cakewalk ended. And one of the songs he played for them was "I'm sexy and I know it."

Okay, am I just an out-of-touch prude, or was this completely inappropriate for this venue? A lot of the kids (older ones, in 2nd or 3rd grade) knew the song and were singing along and gyrating. I was kind of appalled.

And then meanwhile there's my 4 year old, picking up the lyrics too...

I mean, I personally kind of like the song, it's catchy and silly and the video is funny. I just don't think it's cute for a preschooler to be singing the lyrics (and the video is definitely not appropriate for their viewing) -- even if he doesn't have a clue what it means. And I don't feel like having to explain to him what it means when he wants to know.

Actually, what do I say when he asks? Because he will.

Do I need to lighten up and just laugh it off? What do you think?
DS heard this song when he was about 6-7 and was singing it. How weird to see a child sing this. He caught on that the word sexy was one of those buzz words that get adults all in a tizzy when kids use them. (roll eyes)

So what I said to him then was, yes, silly song, fun to sing but that word isn't really ok to use in regular life. For him, this was enough because with his personality, he needs and wants to know the social rules.
Now DD, that will be a totally different story. Not sure how I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. run and hide? lol

The thing about that song is that it's tongue in cheek and kids don't have the experience to fully appreciate that.

heck, kids don't really understand most of the stuff sung about in songs. Remember when the Spice Girls were really big? and all these little girls were gaga over them and singing their songs and dancing? yikes. but the kids have fun with it, in a very innocent way.

DS loves the song Grenade and Somebody That I Used To Know. But at age 8, he can feel and appreciate (or begin to) the drama of it and the unfairness of love or life. They become teenagers so early. DD likes them too and it's odd to hear her sing some of the songs we listen to (like some Billy Talent or Red Hot Chilli Peppers or even some Bowie--then she'll ask to listen to some Celia Cruz, she's Cuban)

I am going to following the golden rule of less fuss better as to not create a desire to continue. Wish me luck. --I have heard this works really well when child brings home a boy friend or girlfriend that isn't quite...up to our taste??

good luck with that sexy song. At least its not in your music library...right?? lol

Julie
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