how annoyinng, I had written out quite a detailed response and lost my post!
Just to say thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post about almost 5 year old grabbing by the throat when seriously angry.
I have been working on getting him to talk rather than lash out and that is working, he does do this alot now - just when he is seriously wound up, it still happens as all rational thoughts go out the window. Will also try the punch a teddy idea.
DH has been nagged into taking this issue a bit more seriously (as I think the neck is such a vulnerable area) and Ds got a really good rollicking last week when my DH caught him do this. Ok, there was lots of shouting and my DS was in flood of tears but at least afterwards he appeared to be genuinely sorry (whereas I felt that I was increasingly getting smirking behaviour off my DS when I told him off and sorry being said in a not very genuine way)
And Ellen A, I just may resort to the duct tape (I got a laugh anyway)
it's so hard to find what works. 3yo ds is now driving me CRAZY with tantrums. We are a complete spectacle and I believe a woman yelled at him in Chinese yesterday at a burger joint. not sure because her dh was laughing. He is spending a lot of time in the chair.