update on aggressive behaviour

update on aggressive behaviour

Joined: December 29th, 2006, 10:07 am

April 30th, 2012, 7:23 am #1

how annoyinng, I had written out quite a detailed response and lost my post!

Just to say thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post about almost 5 year old grabbing by the throat when seriously angry.

I have been working on getting him to talk rather than lash out and that is working, he does do this alot now - just when he is seriously wound up, it still happens as all rational thoughts go out the window. Will also try the punch a teddy idea.

DH has been nagged into taking this issue a bit more seriously (as I think the neck is such a vulnerable area) and Ds got a really good rollicking last week when my DH caught him do this. Ok, there was lots of shouting and my DS was in flood of tears but at least afterwards he appeared to be genuinely sorry (whereas I felt that I was increasingly getting smirking behaviour off my DS when I told him off and sorry being said in a not very genuine way)

And Ellen A, I just may resort to the duct tape (I got a laugh anyway)
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Joined: February 16th, 2006, 1:10 am

April 30th, 2012, 2:50 pm #2

it's so hard to find what works. 3yo ds is now driving me CRAZY with tantrums. We are a complete spectacle and I believe a woman yelled at him in Chinese yesterday at a burger joint. not sure because her dh was laughing. He is spending a lot of time in the chair.




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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

April 30th, 2012, 7:09 pm #3

how annoyinng, I had written out quite a detailed response and lost my post!

Just to say thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post about almost 5 year old grabbing by the throat when seriously angry.

I have been working on getting him to talk rather than lash out and that is working, he does do this alot now - just when he is seriously wound up, it still happens as all rational thoughts go out the window. Will also try the punch a teddy idea.

DH has been nagged into taking this issue a bit more seriously (as I think the neck is such a vulnerable area) and Ds got a really good rollicking last week when my DH caught him do this. Ok, there was lots of shouting and my DS was in flood of tears but at least afterwards he appeared to be genuinely sorry (whereas I felt that I was increasingly getting smirking behaviour off my DS when I told him off and sorry being said in a not very genuine way)

And Ellen A, I just may resort to the duct tape (I got a laugh anyway)
Sometimes that's all it takes for the boys is just a firm word from df. I've seen it work miracles after mom spends 10, 15 minutes trying to get ds to change behavior.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 51, dh 52
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
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Joined: September 19th, 2008, 1:15 pm

April 30th, 2012, 7:14 pm #4

how annoyinng, I had written out quite a detailed response and lost my post!

Just to say thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post about almost 5 year old grabbing by the throat when seriously angry.

I have been working on getting him to talk rather than lash out and that is working, he does do this alot now - just when he is seriously wound up, it still happens as all rational thoughts go out the window. Will also try the punch a teddy idea.

DH has been nagged into taking this issue a bit more seriously (as I think the neck is such a vulnerable area) and Ds got a really good rollicking last week when my DH caught him do this. Ok, there was lots of shouting and my DS was in flood of tears but at least afterwards he appeared to be genuinely sorry (whereas I felt that I was increasingly getting smirking behaviour off my DS when I told him off and sorry being said in a not very genuine way)

And Ellen A, I just may resort to the duct tape (I got a laugh anyway)
MY DS is just about 4 and I learned a cute technique to help calm him down when he gets angry or upset. It doesn't always work but he tries it anyway. I usually try and hug him and ask him calmly to calm down, smell the flower and blow out the candle. So he holds his hand under his nose as if he's smelling a flower and breathes in and then blows out, "blowing out the candle". It's kind of hard to explain but you can imagine how a mime might smell a flower and then blow out a candle. I have to remind him to take slow, deep breathes but he seems to like doing it.
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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

April 30th, 2012, 10:37 pm #5

how annoyinng, I had written out quite a detailed response and lost my post!

Just to say thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post about almost 5 year old grabbing by the throat when seriously angry.

I have been working on getting him to talk rather than lash out and that is working, he does do this alot now - just when he is seriously wound up, it still happens as all rational thoughts go out the window. Will also try the punch a teddy idea.

DH has been nagged into taking this issue a bit more seriously (as I think the neck is such a vulnerable area) and Ds got a really good rollicking last week when my DH caught him do this. Ok, there was lots of shouting and my DS was in flood of tears but at least afterwards he appeared to be genuinely sorry (whereas I felt that I was increasingly getting smirking behaviour off my DS when I told him off and sorry being said in a not very genuine way)

And Ellen A, I just may resort to the duct tape (I got a laugh anyway)
I do think that sometimes the father stepping in has alot more impact with boys. I know my boys take my husband alot more seriously than I!!

I just received an old-fashioned discipline book that I purchased at a thrift store: its called Dare to Discipline. Well see...... With my 5 y/o, I have trouble sorting out whether these negative behaviors just need discipline or if he is going to end up needing meds for add down the road....

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