update-eroony

update-eroony

Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

July 10th, 2012, 2:37 am #1

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joined: February 10th, 2009, 9:24 pm

July 10th, 2012, 2:48 am #2

Someone should love you, cherish you, enjoy spending time with you, and find you a pleasure to be with!!! You so deserve that!

I am so, so sorry that your husband is making such a big mistake. He wont realize that perhaps for years to come. In my observations of other peoples lives, relationships that begin in deceit never last in the long run. Theirs is doomed in the long haul because even if they do take this a step further, they will both spend eternity sleeping with one eye open, knowing what the other is capable of.

Im so glad you will be able to hold your head up high, knowing that you did all you could to save it, and he did not. I pray that, down the road, you will be able to move on with someone who will make you happy and think youre the cats pajamas (as my grandma used to say)

Roar away, my friend..... And if you need to melt into a puddle, thats okay too. Ill be here to help you mop up.

Big hugs,

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Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

July 10th, 2012, 3:51 am #3

I do feel (maybe hope??) he'll regret his decision. I just know him, you know??

Part of me is weeping constantly at the loss of this but the other part is eager to get on with things, get a life, enjoy a mate who enjoys me.

Except I know the reality is that it's hard to find someone at my age (43) AND willing to take on two young children. I feel it's easier for older men with kids to find someone because women are hard wired to want kids (I know I am generalizing terribly and many of you are shaking your heads but I am in this grrrr mood right now. lol). Besides, women (generalizing again, big time) often think they can change the man, that her special touch will make him who she wants him to be.
whatever. Not my problem (much, since I am stuck with him due to the kids)

I made this analogy to a friend with whom I shared our troubles recently so it's fresh for her and she was full of advice and arguments to try to keep things together (sister, I've BEEN there. he said he's willing to talk--yeah, right, I'll believe it when I HEAR it--but not to negotiate or argue. ooookkkkaaaaayyyyy). I told her, imagine if DH was gay, not feeling right staying in this relationship, feeling like he's living a lie. Of course I'd want him to go find his way. He has basically said all that except the gay part.

The cackling victim within me hopes they do get together and never find peace. This isn't me, really but then break-ups does things to people. I'll be my sweet self once I've exorcised these vengeful demons but for now I am enjoying imagining these evil little scenarios. LOL (seriously, this is NOT me)

thanks for the hugs and the support, it means a lot to me. (keep that mop handy because, who boy, that dams gonna burst when I am done being so angry and knowing me, that's soon)
xo
Julie
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Joined: December 29th, 2006, 10:07 am

July 10th, 2012, 6:52 am #4

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and don't let the PIA husband wear you down. You are the loviest, kindest, funniest, intelligent woman who deserves to be cherished and appreciated.

A big BIG hug to you (and if I was close by, a great BIG kick up the backside to your DH)
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Joined: December 6th, 2011, 5:57 am

July 10th, 2012, 8:35 am #5

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kind of an advice
Last edited by Adeedu on November 27th, 2013, 12:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
Adee
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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

July 10th, 2012, 10:34 am #6

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i hate how he's treating you like a yoyo but you so do not deserve this. i hope that whatever comes next includes a huge helping of feeling good about yourself, with or without a man. I think that in my own life, work is the realm where I've let myself be unappreciated and taken for granted, and it really has just been this last year when I began to wake up and realize that somewhere out there are ppl who will appreciate and want what I bring, so I'm not wasting any more time trying to get appreciation where there just won't be any. It does feel better to confront that in one's life, whether it's work or a relationship. I hope we'll both be queens of our realms a year from now.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 51, dh 52
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
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Joined: January 19th, 2007, 7:18 pm

July 10th, 2012, 2:26 pm #7

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You do NOT deserve this. Sending you a huge hug. I'm so sorry. Hold your head high & let him reap what he has sown. You are a class act. They are not.



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Joined: December 24th, 2004, 3:57 am

July 10th, 2012, 2:40 pm #8

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You do not deserve this.

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Joined: June 20th, 2006, 2:07 am

July 10th, 2012, 3:09 pm #9

and don't let the PIA husband wear you down. You are the loviest, kindest, funniest, intelligent woman who deserves to be cherished and appreciated.

A big BIG hug to you (and if I was close by, a great BIG kick up the backside to your DH)
you are a sweetie.

can I watch while you kick his bottom?? lol

xo
J


me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Joined: November 14th, 2005, 10:59 pm

July 10th, 2012, 3:37 pm #10

ok, things are getting serious and going downhill.

DH is leaving (again) and don't you roll your eyes! lol

I am so freakin' fed up at this point, I am like, ok, get the hell out. I don't want you pulling this crap every 2 months, ya know?? How many times will I lay down for him to drive his car over me and crush, crush, crush.

Same old reason: doesn't feel right. well you know what? I think he's dead bored with me, tired of my "know it all" attitude--his words--ish, I am paraphrasing. He's being kind and subdued on this. In fact so subdued that he barely talks to me, shuts me out.

So his exit date is August 1st and I want him out sooner. I am so fed up.

I keep having that song by the Supremes run through my brain:http://youtu.be/4RabQLuj4N8 --kind of surprised this is the only live video of it. Love that young Diana Ross voice, so sweet.
But seriously, it;s it exactly how I am feeling.

No more! Hear me roar. He can't trample my heart this way make me feel undesirable and unappreciated over and over.


Meanwhile, I have started HRT. I take two prometriums at night, those pearls, by mouth and hoo boy do they make me drowzy, I feel drunk (like now) and I also apply some estrogen gel every day. I just want a libido, some energy and perhaps a clearer head for a little while.

Don't worry about me, I am a mama bear right now, fed up with enabling him--boy do I enable him. I played a big part in keeping him an arrested adolescent. He needs to go out on his own and see how it is to take charge of your life. I'd have liked that he'd choose to do this with me by his side but obviously, he doesn't love me enough. He (get this) still pines for the other woman and at this point, I do hope they end up together so he can realize what a vamp she is (I mean who pretends to be friends with a woman just to get close to her husband??? SHe is not honourable and I guess he isn't either)

I am so mad. and all I want is someone to cherish me, enjoy spending time with me and won't find me unbearable.


Love that in this fine group of women, I can lean on you and know I am loved (appreciated), even though I've never met you!

Julie (who isn't crushed this time. not again, not ever again)



me:43, DH 44
FSH 26
DS: born by c-sec Apr15'03, 9lbs5oz 41wks gest. (after 4 years of ttc, starting in 1998)
DD born by c-sec Oct 13 2007, 8lbs13oz 39wk gest. (after just under 3 years of ttc)
~~DS was conceived naturally the cycle following a cancelled DE IVF, using my good friend's eggs. She was on the verge of hyperstimming.
~~DD's nat conception I attribute to using OPKs like a crazy nut, eating grapefruit daily and using preseed. also 5 cycles of TCM ending 2 cycles before that lucky cycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I love your new attitude! You go girl! First, I bet a man who desidres you will do wonders for your libido! Second, I think you sound very strong here and now you know you gave it your all; no guilt. I have been reading your situation but never posted just because I was always pressed for time, but yes, I agree, it is time to move on!

I know it is scary and sad, but you are worth way more than this; I know from reading your posts for years, you are an exceptional woman and a wonderful human being. Don't settle.

Big hugs and I wish you more strength and tons of relief and happiness!
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