Normal ?

Normal ?

Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

September 13th, 2011, 2:59 pm #1

DS just started K, he is super tired

At a K meeting with the teachers (voluntary, not requested by teacher) she said that ds has a tendency to "wander off, in his own world". She asked if he has had his hearing tested (yes, 5y well check, all fine). Red flags flew ! I mean "wander off, world of his own" ... yikes !

I asked ds about it. He said the activity in which they were engaged was "boring" and he was going off to do some puzzles that to him was more fun. We talked about listening to teacher.

Picked him from after-school yesterday. One teacher said "I think he's tired today, we were playing and he just wandered off in a day dream, didn't pay attention to us calling him" Now there he can go off whenever he likes, seems they thought more of it ? Like he's spaced out or something !

Yikes, we NEVER see this behaviour although sometimes I'm like, hey are you listening !!? If I quietly say "would you like some chocolate raisins" oh YES and over he runs. So I know it's not his hearing. I think I did this, I remember my nan saying the same thing to me

DH argues that he's not even been at school 2 weeks yet. The kid is tired (I often have to wake him up in the morning). DH thinks nothing of it. For the first time today, ds said he was looking forward to school. He is a kid who doesn't like to try new things (!) and is often nervous at school about making a mistake. We talked about that too ...

Anyhoo, is this "zoning out" behavour common do you think, and associated with a lot of change ?

Anything I should watch ? Don't want to say any more to school for fear of an immediate label.

Cheers all
V
Last edited by FishDr on September 13th, 2011, 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: August 30th, 2006, 9:39 pm

September 13th, 2011, 3:58 pm #2

Hi V,
Because the teachers are commenting that he's "tired", perhaps the best place to start is rolling his bedtime earlier to give him more sleep for a few weeks.

Good friends of ours told us a few years ago that when their kid moved to K, they ended up having to move his bedtime back to 7 pm!! And by the end of the week, he was still falling asleep over dinner.

We're at 8 pm right now but moving it earlier is likely in our house. She's been falling asleep during stories, which is unusual for her.

Adjusting to K is huge for most kids, and I would give him a few weeks with more sleep time before you start down that road.
S
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

September 13th, 2011, 4:06 pm #3

Thanks for your reply Susan. Last night reading books he was yawning his head off. We too are at 8:00 for bedtime (i.e. lights out). What amazes me though is on the weekends he doesn't sleep late at all. In fact, Sunday morning he was up at 5:30 ! I will initiate an earlier bedtime during the week I think. I'll try tonight with 7:30 and see how that goes.

Thanks for your insight, I was/am concerned at these "zonning out" comments ..
V
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: July 7th, 2009, 1:19 pm

September 13th, 2011, 5:15 pm #4

DS just started K, he is super tired

At a K meeting with the teachers (voluntary, not requested by teacher) she said that ds has a tendency to "wander off, in his own world". She asked if he has had his hearing tested (yes, 5y well check, all fine). Red flags flew ! I mean "wander off, world of his own" ... yikes !

I asked ds about it. He said the activity in which they were engaged was "boring" and he was going off to do some puzzles that to him was more fun. We talked about listening to teacher.

Picked him from after-school yesterday. One teacher said "I think he's tired today, we were playing and he just wandered off in a day dream, didn't pay attention to us calling him" Now there he can go off whenever he likes, seems they thought more of it ? Like he's spaced out or something !

Yikes, we NEVER see this behaviour although sometimes I'm like, hey are you listening !!? If I quietly say "would you like some chocolate raisins" oh YES and over he runs. So I know it's not his hearing. I think I did this, I remember my nan saying the same thing to me

DH argues that he's not even been at school 2 weeks yet. The kid is tired (I often have to wake him up in the morning). DH thinks nothing of it. For the first time today, ds said he was looking forward to school. He is a kid who doesn't like to try new things (!) and is often nervous at school about making a mistake. We talked about that too ...

Anyhoo, is this "zoning out" behavour common do you think, and associated with a lot of change ?

Anything I should watch ? Don't want to say any more to school for fear of an immediate label.

Cheers all
V
I would want the teachers to clarify the comments about being tired and then the comment about wandering into his own world.

What does that mean? What specifically did he do?

Do they get a nap/rest time? If so, does he fall asleep or nap at that time?

Maybe he just needs more sleep but sleeping and wandering off into his own world are two different things - at least in my mind...

Hope this helps...

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

September 13th, 2011, 5:29 pm #5

... his K teacher said "he wandered off in a world of his own and didn't respond to my calling him back".

The after-school teacher/attendant said "he seems tired and wandered off, in a day dream, didn't respond when I called him".

So similar comments in the sense he seems to wander off, in his own world, not paying attention. I got the feeling that they wanted to somehow snap him out of it, if that makes sense.

No nap at K. They initially said they would but then it changed to, "we don't have time". He hasn't been napping during the day for a while though. At pre-K they had a quiet time (during which he didn't nap). He fell asleep at 4pm one day last w/end for 30 mins or so.

Thanks Fleur ...
V

Last edited by FishDr on September 13th, 2011, 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

September 13th, 2011, 6:29 pm #6

DS just started K, he is super tired

At a K meeting with the teachers (voluntary, not requested by teacher) she said that ds has a tendency to "wander off, in his own world". She asked if he has had his hearing tested (yes, 5y well check, all fine). Red flags flew ! I mean "wander off, world of his own" ... yikes !

I asked ds about it. He said the activity in which they were engaged was "boring" and he was going off to do some puzzles that to him was more fun. We talked about listening to teacher.

Picked him from after-school yesterday. One teacher said "I think he's tired today, we were playing and he just wandered off in a day dream, didn't pay attention to us calling him" Now there he can go off whenever he likes, seems they thought more of it ? Like he's spaced out or something !

Yikes, we NEVER see this behaviour although sometimes I'm like, hey are you listening !!? If I quietly say "would you like some chocolate raisins" oh YES and over he runs. So I know it's not his hearing. I think I did this, I remember my nan saying the same thing to me

DH argues that he's not even been at school 2 weeks yet. The kid is tired (I often have to wake him up in the morning). DH thinks nothing of it. For the first time today, ds said he was looking forward to school. He is a kid who doesn't like to try new things (!) and is often nervous at school about making a mistake. We talked about that too ...

Anyhoo, is this "zoning out" behavour common do you think, and associated with a lot of change ?

Anything I should watch ? Don't want to say any more to school for fear of an immediate label.

Cheers all
V
But you say that your ds is not accustomed to day-time naps.

If, after an earlier bedtime, the teacher still sees daydreaming, I'd find out what kind of activity brings it on. When I observed ds in first and second grade, I'd see him literally rolling his head during quiet listening activities. He was younger and less mature than his classmates, plus I think that in general, the curriculum at his school is less suited to boys (desk work, worksheets, listening, not very active). I tend to believe Leonard Sax, a psychologist and family physician who writes about gender differences in learning. Some ppl believe boys need a colder, more active environment, at least to be able to stand, in order to learn betterhttp://www.leonardsax.com/

I know Sax has been criticized. He's big on single gender education. He also believes in letting kids (at least boys) wait longer to begin k. I'm reading over some of the materials on his website, and he quotes ppl like Rousseau, Pestalozzi and Peabody, all advocates for a slower, less academic introduction to school. Even though it's obviously not in vogue here, downplaying early academics is still practiced in Northern European nations and even still in Italy to some extent, so I don't think it's as outrageous as some American critics say. I see that he's into the "forest kindergarten," which is a lot like Waldorf and Rudolph Steiner. I'm taking (another) graduate course in curriculum now, and I don't have a problem with Sax's philosophy or the foundations of his philosophy. I see where he acknowledges some errors, but I'm ok with that.




Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Last edited by goldiescholar on September 13th, 2011, 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

September 13th, 2011, 7:04 pm #7

.. for your thoughtful reply. It seemed that at K the behaviour was brought on by a boring activity ! Sitting still and being quiet are hard for him (we knew that). At after-school, no idea what brought that on. I mentioned to his K teacher that we would like to talk again in a month or so, but I am reluctant to have them pigeon hole him with an issue this early on (KWIM ?).

I agree though that the atmosphere at K is stiffling and difficult for boys .... he is very active and likes to run rampant They get very little time to let off steam. His favourite activity at school - PE.

As far as I know, we don't have a Waldorf school close by. However, I also think DS needs the type of stucture provided by this school, honestly otherwise he's a crazy mad thing .... when I pick him up at after-school he is invariably running around the play area outside drenched in sweat. Hecan also be extreemly excitable. The owner was cleaning out the fish pond and R got to put the fish back in (by hand). MAN he was so excited he about popped his top ....

How did your wee man deal with it all ? Was it just a long adjustment period or is he still finding the rigours hard to deal with ?

Thanks again
V
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 15th, 2009, 8:50 pm

September 13th, 2011, 7:12 pm #8

DS just started K, he is super tired

At a K meeting with the teachers (voluntary, not requested by teacher) she said that ds has a tendency to "wander off, in his own world". She asked if he has had his hearing tested (yes, 5y well check, all fine). Red flags flew ! I mean "wander off, world of his own" ... yikes !

I asked ds about it. He said the activity in which they were engaged was "boring" and he was going off to do some puzzles that to him was more fun. We talked about listening to teacher.

Picked him from after-school yesterday. One teacher said "I think he's tired today, we were playing and he just wandered off in a day dream, didn't pay attention to us calling him" Now there he can go off whenever he likes, seems they thought more of it ? Like he's spaced out or something !

Yikes, we NEVER see this behaviour although sometimes I'm like, hey are you listening !!? If I quietly say "would you like some chocolate raisins" oh YES and over he runs. So I know it's not his hearing. I think I did this, I remember my nan saying the same thing to me

DH argues that he's not even been at school 2 weeks yet. The kid is tired (I often have to wake him up in the morning). DH thinks nothing of it. For the first time today, ds said he was looking forward to school. He is a kid who doesn't like to try new things (!) and is often nervous at school about making a mistake. We talked about that too ...

Anyhoo, is this "zoning out" behavour common do you think, and associated with a lot of change ?

Anything I should watch ? Don't want to say any more to school for fear of an immediate label.

Cheers all
V
My older dd is very spacey. She's now in third grade and she's doing fine, but we do have to work on her bringing all her stuff home, paying attention etc. I don't think she often wanders off physically, but I think she wanders off in her head a lot.

I would probably be more worried about it but I was a spacey kid also. I can remember in 2nd grade all the kids taking their books out and I would have no idea what I was supposed to be doing. But I always did very well in school (actually I did better as I got older so I think it was a developmental thing and I learned to compensate for the spaciness)

I would just keep in touch with the his teachers about it, it's something I always talk to them about at parents night etc. I do see the behavior at home though, I will send her upstairs to get something and she will forget what she went upstairs for and get involved in something else. Do you see any of this? If not it may just be tiredness at school, immaturity etc (common in boys).

In k dd did have rest time for the first half of the year, it's a shame they aren't doing it, for some kids it's quite a transition (dd was in daycare so she was used to a full day).

jkl
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

September 13th, 2011, 8:00 pm #9

He often goes to get something and is completely distracted by something else. As a result I often have to ask him > once (OK, > 10 times) to do/get something. Trying to get out the door for school can be infuriating !

I took this differently though as in he's not wandering off in space -- h is literally on the way upstairs but - oh, what's that behind the door ? oh my bamming balloon, I wondered where that had gone ... proceeds to bam it around in the garden while I'm in the kitchen wondering why the heck he hasn't brought his socks down yet ... sheesh ....

It's good to know that you did well

I will ask if they are having rest time, the last time I asked it was no, too busy. This is the first year that 75% of K is in Spanish immersion. They are all working hard to make it a success.

Thanks for your encouraging post
V
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

September 13th, 2011, 9:08 pm #10

.. for your thoughtful reply. It seemed that at K the behaviour was brought on by a boring activity ! Sitting still and being quiet are hard for him (we knew that). At after-school, no idea what brought that on. I mentioned to his K teacher that we would like to talk again in a month or so, but I am reluctant to have them pigeon hole him with an issue this early on (KWIM ?).

I agree though that the atmosphere at K is stiffling and difficult for boys .... he is very active and likes to run rampant They get very little time to let off steam. His favourite activity at school - PE.

As far as I know, we don't have a Waldorf school close by. However, I also think DS needs the type of stucture provided by this school, honestly otherwise he's a crazy mad thing .... when I pick him up at after-school he is invariably running around the play area outside drenched in sweat. Hecan also be extreemly excitable. The owner was cleaning out the fish pond and R got to put the fish back in (by hand). MAN he was so excited he about popped his top ....

How did your wee man deal with it all ? Was it just a long adjustment period or is he still finding the rigours hard to deal with ?

Thanks again
V
It did take him about 3 years to adjust. His teachers told me he was immature, through 2nd grade. Nice, but immature. Third grade he didn't seem to struggle as much. (Also was in Advanced Placement, but I'm not sure if there is a relationship.) He's starting to struggle a little in math b/c his teacher likes to teach a lot of different problem-solving approaches that certainly weren't around when I was his age. Today, on his test, he couldn't solve a problem using the "lattice" multiplication method. He's losing a little confidence in his math skill, which is such a shame, b/c he's really quite good in math and always enjoyed it.

Playing with the fish sounds great! Glad your ds likes PE. There is a private school in town that offers PE 2x/week, but we can't afford it. DS isn't all that fond of PE b/c the lessons aren't really very engaging, apparently. There's so much they can't do for fear of injury and liability.

I enjoyed reading Sax's article about k for boys. He was talking about the origin of "kinder garten" (children's garden). He explained that kids used to have their own plot to garden, plus a communal plot.






Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
Quote
Like
Share