How many extra-curricular activities do your kids do?

How many extra-curricular activities do your kids do?

Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 27th, 2011, 5:56 am #1

Okay, I'm at a cross-roads with DD (2nd grader). She wants to do more and more sports and forgetting about the impact on my own already overloaded schedule, I'm not sure if this it's not too much for her...

Both kids are in afterschool and we get them generally btw. 4-5 pm. In the past they have taken classes offered through afterschool, like chess and dance, but this semester there was nothing that sparked their interest and DD said, she'd rather skate more.

So right now, she skates on Saturdays, two lessons and a public skate session (1.5 hours long). Due to DS's hockey we're done by about 2:30 PM.
She skates Monday night (1 lesson and 1/2 public skate session), Wednesday (1 lesson and 1/2 freestyle session). Some of these are group and some private, one is a sync skating class with a team which now gets her more and more engaged in shows, competitions etc. Friday night she has gymnastics (1hr). Over the last month she has started begging me to take ballet. I know it's because she is becoming more engaged with more advanced skaters and they all take ballet... I found a school and we did a trial class, it's on Sunday mornings... Yay or Nay???

DS on the other hand wanted to scale back on the hockey this summer which agreed to, because I want him to have fun and not grow resentful. He is cool now with 1x/week. He is starting book-club with 3rd/4th graders since he is such an advanced reader 1x/month in November. I feel guilty he is doing less than DD, but he is oblivious!

The deal with DD is that she complete her homework during afterschool, we review it together and fix/work-up what's needed to keep up her sports schedule. She is extremely focused and mostly finishes her homework by Tuesday or Wednesday already and she just got a stellar report from the teacher!

So, how much is too much and would you say yes or no to the additional ballet? I suggested to take a break with the gymnastics but she does not want that!

Last edited by SabinaCA on October 27th, 2011, 6:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 1st, 1970, 12:00 am

October 27th, 2011, 11:43 am #2

and a chauffeur who would pay my bills! lol

Is it too much for you to do all that driving? I think that's a valid consideration. If she's trying to keep up with friends, would it be possible for her to carpool with them?

I guess as far as her schedule and energy levels are concerned, you might try asking yourself what she might be missing if she gives up her Sunday mornings. Does that need to be family time? Do you want her to have some unstructured time? What about a Sunday morning tradition like pancake breakfast? If you want these to be part of your kids' life, you might have to protect these times.

To me, a balance of activities would include time for family, reading and unstructured play, even if it's in her room or backyard, not just go-go-go.

BTW, when I was a kid, I didn't have as many choices, but I was limited to 2 after-school activities, and none were offered at school. There were no after-school programs. My dm had to drive my sister and me to everything. DS prefers a limit of 2, as well, but he doesn't have your dd's drive and energy.





Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
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Joined: July 7th, 2009, 1:19 pm

October 27th, 2011, 11:50 am #3

Okay, I'm at a cross-roads with DD (2nd grader). She wants to do more and more sports and forgetting about the impact on my own already overloaded schedule, I'm not sure if this it's not too much for her...

Both kids are in afterschool and we get them generally btw. 4-5 pm. In the past they have taken classes offered through afterschool, like chess and dance, but this semester there was nothing that sparked their interest and DD said, she'd rather skate more.

So right now, she skates on Saturdays, two lessons and a public skate session (1.5 hours long). Due to DS's hockey we're done by about 2:30 PM.
She skates Monday night (1 lesson and 1/2 public skate session), Wednesday (1 lesson and 1/2 freestyle session). Some of these are group and some private, one is a sync skating class with a team which now gets her more and more engaged in shows, competitions etc. Friday night she has gymnastics (1hr). Over the last month she has started begging me to take ballet. I know it's because she is becoming more engaged with more advanced skaters and they all take ballet... I found a school and we did a trial class, it's on Sunday mornings... Yay or Nay???

DS on the other hand wanted to scale back on the hockey this summer which agreed to, because I want him to have fun and not grow resentful. He is cool now with 1x/week. He is starting book-club with 3rd/4th graders since he is such an advanced reader 1x/month in November. I feel guilty he is doing less than DD, but he is oblivious!

The deal with DD is that she complete her homework during afterschool, we review it together and fix/work-up what's needed to keep up her sports schedule. She is extremely focused and mostly finishes her homework by Tuesday or Wednesday already and she just got a stellar report from the teacher!

So, how much is too much and would you say yes or no to the additional ballet? I suggested to take a break with the gymnastics but she does not want that!

If you have the time, money and energy to take her then I would go for it, especially if she caught up AND doing well with school. I think structure is good - they know what they are doing, where they are going day to day and it seems your DD likes to keep busy, it seems to be working for you guys.

Maybe you can try it short term and see how it goes before committing to the entire season. The school work might get harder as the year goes on...

Not sure if it's fair to DS - but if he doesn't seem to mind then don't worry about it.

Hope all is well!
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Joined: February 22nd, 2006, 4:05 am

October 27th, 2011, 12:43 pm #4

Okay, I'm at a cross-roads with DD (2nd grader). She wants to do more and more sports and forgetting about the impact on my own already overloaded schedule, I'm not sure if this it's not too much for her...

Both kids are in afterschool and we get them generally btw. 4-5 pm. In the past they have taken classes offered through afterschool, like chess and dance, but this semester there was nothing that sparked their interest and DD said, she'd rather skate more.

So right now, she skates on Saturdays, two lessons and a public skate session (1.5 hours long). Due to DS's hockey we're done by about 2:30 PM.
She skates Monday night (1 lesson and 1/2 public skate session), Wednesday (1 lesson and 1/2 freestyle session). Some of these are group and some private, one is a sync skating class with a team which now gets her more and more engaged in shows, competitions etc. Friday night she has gymnastics (1hr). Over the last month she has started begging me to take ballet. I know it's because she is becoming more engaged with more advanced skaters and they all take ballet... I found a school and we did a trial class, it's on Sunday mornings... Yay or Nay???

DS on the other hand wanted to scale back on the hockey this summer which agreed to, because I want him to have fun and not grow resentful. He is cool now with 1x/week. He is starting book-club with 3rd/4th graders since he is such an advanced reader 1x/month in November. I feel guilty he is doing less than DD, but he is oblivious!

The deal with DD is that she complete her homework during afterschool, we review it together and fix/work-up what's needed to keep up her sports schedule. She is extremely focused and mostly finishes her homework by Tuesday or Wednesday already and she just got a stellar report from the teacher!

So, how much is too much and would you say yes or no to the additional ballet? I suggested to take a break with the gymnastics but she does not want that!

that you can handle. This is the time of greatest growth. It's not an issue that ds is doing less at this point. I think it will vary and one will do more and the other less at different times.

As long as it's fun and you're not going nuts I think you should say yes to physical activity. Maybe because I'm totally into physical stuff and want my kids to be too

Z.
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Joined: November 8th, 2005, 3:01 pm

October 27th, 2011, 1:07 pm #5

... and if DS is OK with it too then why not. Sounds tiring ! We are not there yet, DS is 5 and goes to an afterschool program where they do a lot of stuff. Looking at karate or something like that ... but he isn't pushing for anything so ... I'll wait probably !

Phew ...
V
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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 27th, 2011, 5:23 pm #6

and a chauffeur who would pay my bills! lol

Is it too much for you to do all that driving? I think that's a valid consideration. If she's trying to keep up with friends, would it be possible for her to carpool with them?

I guess as far as her schedule and energy levels are concerned, you might try asking yourself what she might be missing if she gives up her Sunday mornings. Does that need to be family time? Do you want her to have some unstructured time? What about a Sunday morning tradition like pancake breakfast? If you want these to be part of your kids' life, you might have to protect these times.

To me, a balance of activities would include time for family, reading and unstructured play, even if it's in her room or backyard, not just go-go-go.

BTW, when I was a kid, I didn't have as many choices, but I was limited to 2 after-school activities, and none were offered at school. There were no after-school programs. My dm had to drive my sister and me to everything. DS prefers a limit of 2, as well, but he doesn't have your dd's drive and energy.





Keiki's Makuahine (Keiki's Mom) 50, dh 50
Keiki: b. 2002 after 3 months bedrest
Natural conception following ZIFT/chem. pg

Olivia: b. 1999 d. 1999
28-week preemie, ptl cause unknown
Natural conception after 1 mc

ttc since 1998
The ice rink is 10 minutes by car from our house. Gynastics is about 6 blocks and I can just drop off and make dinner in the meantime. The ballet class is further away but on Sunday the streets are empty and it takes no more than 20 minutes. The hard part are the two evenings Mon/Wed, as I have to leave work at 4pm but I often start at 7:30 or 8:00 so I shouldn't feel bad about it. Those are a bit of a rush! Actually Mondays, I take a class too and we skate together afterwards, so big bonding time which we both love and do not want to give up!

About hanging out at home, I hear you regarding the breakfasts etc. - we still to that as my kids get up at 7AM rain or shine. They hardly sleep in, maybe 1x/month...ugh!! She does get downtime often on Saturday afternoon or on Sundays but she is the kind of child who loves to move, she is often bored if she has nobody to play with. DS has his own interests Lego, reading - they do play games together sometimes. So, lots of times when we're home she jumps and dances around the house and asks when we are going to do something...tiring...you figured?

Thanks for your input. I haven't decided yet, but I might give it a trial run until x-mas and go over the books again then.

Last edited by SabinaCA on October 27th, 2011, 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 27th, 2011, 5:31 pm #7

If you have the time, money and energy to take her then I would go for it, especially if she caught up AND doing well with school. I think structure is good - they know what they are doing, where they are going day to day and it seems your DD likes to keep busy, it seems to be working for you guys.

Maybe you can try it short term and see how it goes before committing to the entire season. The school work might get harder as the year goes on...

Not sure if it's fair to DS - but if he doesn't seem to mind then don't worry about it.

Hope all is well!
I knew you had some opinions since your DD is very active too with piano and dance. I can give it a trial run until x-mas, for this ballet school we have to commit by January until the end of the season (June) because they close the school to new participants then, because of a show at the end. I'm not too interested in that show (I know DD would jump at it, haven't mentioned it to her yet), as we already have all of that and more in skating. I'd rather just have her take the classes, but most schools as I've seen it that's not possible. They also said at that place that once she moves past the basic level, she'd have to take two classes/week, but I can't worry about this right now. We'd have to cross that bridge when we get there.

I found another school that has a ballet class specifically for girls who skate and do gymnastics (to help with poise and posture) but it's at 3:30 PM and no way I can make this. Maybe next school year I can make changes with respects to afterschool (ie. hire babysitter to take to activities), but right now, this is a no-go!

Thanks so much for your help!

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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 27th, 2011, 5:34 pm #8

that you can handle. This is the time of greatest growth. It's not an issue that ds is doing less at this point. I think it will vary and one will do more and the other less at different times.

As long as it's fun and you're not going nuts I think you should say yes to physical activity. Maybe because I'm totally into physical stuff and want my kids to be too

Z.
Yes, she is like me - we love to be on the move and be active! We get bored when just sitting around - being active stimulates my brain! - We'll have to check about the nuts part in a few months ...!

DS is different and I try to honor that!

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Joined: April 16th, 2004, 9:20 pm

October 27th, 2011, 5:38 pm #9

... and if DS is OK with it too then why not. Sounds tiring ! We are not there yet, DS is 5 and goes to an afterschool program where they do a lot of stuff. Looking at karate or something like that ... but he isn't pushing for anything so ... I'll wait probably !

Phew ...
V
when my kids were 5 we were also not doing much - they took some classes in afterschool and I had them enrolled in swimming, because I needed them to become safe swimmers. One of DD's friends went on with the swimming and she is now in the pre-team and swims 3-4 times a week and is loving it. I keep telling my DD that she should tell me if she is not enjoying something and wants to take a break even if it's just skipping a lesson. She never goes for that. This Friday she is invited to a Halloween party and I asked her to skip gymnastics, that almost culminated in an argument as she wants to rather arrive at the party 30 minutes late and not skip the class... gives me more of a break inbetween which is fine!

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Joined: February 20th, 2006, 11:35 pm

October 28th, 2011, 12:34 am #10

Okay, I'm at a cross-roads with DD (2nd grader). She wants to do more and more sports and forgetting about the impact on my own already overloaded schedule, I'm not sure if this it's not too much for her...

Both kids are in afterschool and we get them generally btw. 4-5 pm. In the past they have taken classes offered through afterschool, like chess and dance, but this semester there was nothing that sparked their interest and DD said, she'd rather skate more.

So right now, she skates on Saturdays, two lessons and a public skate session (1.5 hours long). Due to DS's hockey we're done by about 2:30 PM.
She skates Monday night (1 lesson and 1/2 public skate session), Wednesday (1 lesson and 1/2 freestyle session). Some of these are group and some private, one is a sync skating class with a team which now gets her more and more engaged in shows, competitions etc. Friday night she has gymnastics (1hr). Over the last month she has started begging me to take ballet. I know it's because she is becoming more engaged with more advanced skaters and they all take ballet... I found a school and we did a trial class, it's on Sunday mornings... Yay or Nay???

DS on the other hand wanted to scale back on the hockey this summer which agreed to, because I want him to have fun and not grow resentful. He is cool now with 1x/week. He is starting book-club with 3rd/4th graders since he is such an advanced reader 1x/month in November. I feel guilty he is doing less than DD, but he is oblivious!

The deal with DD is that she complete her homework during afterschool, we review it together and fix/work-up what's needed to keep up her sports schedule. She is extremely focused and mostly finishes her homework by Tuesday or Wednesday already and she just got a stellar report from the teacher!

So, how much is too much and would you say yes or no to the additional ballet? I suggested to take a break with the gymnastics but she does not want that!

And also cost.

I do think it's good for kids to have plenty of unstructured down time where they play outdoors with friends, build forts in their bedroom, explore the backyard, just sit around and read, etc. So if you think she is not missing out on that, then I'd not worry so much right now. Especially if the initiative is coming from her, you have the time/money, and your only concern is whether it's too much for her, then I'd say go ahead.

For me personally, I get a little overwhelmed with all the driving around. One DS has gym Thursday mornings; the other has soccer Thursday evenings. Then 2 soccer games on Saturday, which DH luckily takes them too. DS also has 2 after school clubs, on Wednesday and Friday, but those are days he goes to aftercare anyway, so there is no impact on me because I just pick him up from aftercare at the regular time. Sunday each son has a swim class; I take the one and DH takes the other. In addition we have once a week with psychologist and then on top of that lots of other doctors appointments, and on top of that is the general running errands like shopping, getting shoes and clothes, etc. So for me, the idea of adding in one more activity just seems like way too much -- DS has asked to do scouts, which his doctors have all said have him do because it's the equivalent of a social skills group; and next year the younger DS might have soccer practice in addition to the Saturday games -- and I feel sometimes like my head is going to explode.

Each family is different. You can always take it semester by semester and see how it goes.

She sounds like a really motivated little girl!! There's something to be said for that.

xoxo
Lillian
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