A Doctor's Tips

Deleted User
Deleted User

April 25th, 2009, 12:11 am #1

I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

Doc: Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

Doc: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn? Vegetables! So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.

Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

Doc: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Beer is also made out of grain.

How can I calculate by body/fat ratio?

Doc: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have to bodies, your ratio is two to one....

What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

Doc: My philosophy is No Pain....Good!

Is chocolate bad for me?

Doc: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around.

Is swimming good for your figure?

Doc: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Is getting in-shape important to my lifestyle?

Doc: Hey, "Round" is a shape!

This doctor exists only in everyone's imagination!