AN: Here is bit 3. I hope you like it. :$
They think theyve found them.
The words hit you with a force youre not expecting, for the briefest of moments something which might be relief runs through you then you realize what hasnt been said.
Grasshopper is he okay? There is a frantic tone to your voice.
I, I dont know, Sheldon babbles, I think so. As his words come out you grip Petes hand tighter. Shes barricaded herself is some house, they want you to go down there.
Me? The word comes out your mouth but hes not looking at you, hes looking straight at Pete.
No Violet, Pete.
Pete had to go, the police needed help, they needed someone who knew Katie, they thought it was best, they thought it was the best way to get through to her, to make her hand the baby over. You wanted to go, you knew Katie, you were her doctor, and she had your baby but they didnt want you. You were still too sick to leave the hospital and they thought you might make the situation worse. So Pete left and you stayed at the hospital.
The hours tick by painfully slow, youve lost track of how much time has past, every minute feels like an hour, every hour like a day. You feel exhausted and weak, you need to rest but you cant truly rest, not while your baby is out there all alone. How long has it been? You ask looking over at Cooper. Hes sitting in a chair beside your bed reading a magazine.
Three hours, He replies and he leans over and tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. Go back to sleep, Ill wake you when they get back.
I cant, You wish you could sleep, the wait would be so much easier if you could sleep. Why arent they back yet?
I dont know. Cooper puts down his magazine and stands up.
Its taking too long. You close your eyes and feel tears starting to form. Youve been crying a lot; all you seem able to do is cry. Cooper leans over and wipes the tears from your face.
Theyre coming back. He tries to assure you then he tells you to move over. He climbs up on your bed and wraps his arm around. You close your eyes and relax into his familiar embrace. Hes held you before, hes comforted you before. He knows what you like, what you need, he runs his fingers through your hair and you let out a sigh.
Cooper, you begin but the rest of your sentence never comes.
Just rest Violet, He whispers, Petes going to get him, hes going to bring him back.
But what if
You cant help but voice what your thinking, whats going through your head.
Theyre coming back Violet. Cooper tells you, giving you a little squeeze.
You, You want to argue with him but you dont have the energy for it, you dont have the energy to fight Cooper and his optimism.
Just rest Violet, He tells you again, Theyre coming back.
Yeah, You let out the one word in an almost whisper. Youre going to try and sleep but you already know you cant sleep anymore, there are too many things running through your head, too many thoughts, feelings, emotions. Everything is turning around inside you, all these emotions and feelings which you cant comprehend, which you cant understand. They twist inside of you forming a black hole, a deep empty space, you feel like your insides have been ripped out and youve been left with nothing. In a way that is true, you feel empty, and as you lay there you long to feel your baby inside of you again, you long to have that feeling back because if you had that back all of this could just be some horrible dream. But you know this is no dream, you know it is really happening and you cry harder. You bury your face into Coopers chest and cry. He wraps his arms tighter around you and gently starts rubbing your back.
Theyre coming back. He whispers to you but this time you dont say anything. It is his job to say that, as your friend it is his job to say that. It is going to be okay.
His words make you cry more, you desperately want to believe him but you cant help thinking nothing is ever going to be okay. Never in your life have you felt this low, and there have been times in your life where you have felt low, you have been violated before but this is a whole other level of pain. This hurts in a way you didnt think possible, and then it hits, you were happy.
For the first time in a long time you had been happy, in the moments before this all happened you had been happy and then the thoughts start creeping in. Maybe that is why this is happening, youre not meant to be happy. Maybe this is some higher power getting back at you, punishing you for everything you have ever done. Punishing you
you try to shake the thoughts from your head and remember your own words.
I believe everyone is meant to be happy.
That is what you told your patient, and up to two days ago you believed it, you really did believe everyone was meant to be happy but now, you cant help thinking maybe everyone isnt meant to be happy, maybe youre not meant to be happy, maybe youre not meant to be a mother. You never planed to be a mother; you didnt want to be a mother, not until the opportunity was thrown at you, until it was forced upon you. And now you cant help thinking youre being punished, punished for ever thinking that, punished for not wanting it enough.
Im sorry, You start whispering to yourself. Im sorry, please just bring my baby back.
Theyre coming back. The words come out of Coopers mouth again and he pulls you just a little tighter, Just get some rest, youre going to need all your energy when they get back. He starts to rub the back of your neck with one hand and you relax again, you try to fall asleep.
For hours you seem to drift in and out of consciousness, waking with a start every time the door opens, you look for Pete but its never him. Instead the rest of your friends and colleagues visit, theyre happy to see that youre awake, that youre getting better but once the pleasantries are exchanged there is nothing left to say. They dont know what to say to you and you dont have the energy to make conversation. Instead you say youre tired and you go back to sleep, you let Cooper rock you back to sleep, and you wait for Pete.
It is some time in the evening when the door opens, when you open your eyes and see Sheldon walk into the room. Violet there is someone here who wants to see you. He says as youre still trying to wake up, to focus. Before what hes said has even registered you see Pete walk into the door way and in his arms you see your baby.
Pete! You let out the cry and try to push yourself up in the bed. Cooper sees what youre trying to do and shoves some pillows behind you; he helps you sit up as Pete walks over carrying your baby.
Im sorry we took so long, he says as he reaches your bedside. He had to get the all clear from the doctors down stairs before I could bring him up.
Give him to me. In that moment you dont care that it has taken all day, you have him now, thats all that matters. Give him to me, you say it again and hold out your arms.
Pete smiles at you and places your child in your arms. You hold him for the first time and you begin to feel a warm bubbly feeling building inside of you. The feeling is unfamiliar but you know what it is, it is love, and it is happiness. Pete leans down and kisses you.
Hes perfect, he tells you, A perfectly healthy, eight pounds.
Beautiful, the one word is all you can say, youre too caught up in the beauty of your baby.
Hes beautiful, you hear Cooper say and you feel him begin to stand. Im going to let you guys have this moment. He tells you and he starts to walk out the room, as he leaves he takes Sheldon with him leaving you alone with Pete.
Pete walks around the bed and sits in the place Cooper was in a moment earlier. He wraps one arm around your back and with the other he touches your sons head. The touch is all it takes for him to open his eyes. He opens his eyes and he stare up at you.
Hello Grasshopper, Im your mommy, you find yourself cooing to him. Never did you think you would ever talk baby but it seems to come naturally. He opens his mouth and makes the tiniest of noises. Youre perfect. You whisper to him and you look up at Pete, he seems to have a light about him which youve never seen and in that moment, there is no doubt in your mind who his daddy is? Hes yours, you whisper to him, Hes got to be yours.
I know, Pete smiles as the light around him grows. Hes got Wilder written all over him. I knew as soon as I saw him.
Yeah, you let out a sigh and look back at your baby. He seems so content; he has no idea what hes just gone through. Pete, you begin. Do you think we can do this? Do you think we can be a family?
I think we can, He smiles, and he lens over and kisses both of you. I love you, I love both of you. We can make this work.
Yeah, I think we can. You whisper and you lean back against his shoulder. We can do this; were going to do this.
Yeah, Pete leans over and kisses you again. Were going to be a family.