I had a Post Katrina meltdown tonite

I had a Post Katrina meltdown tonite

Joined: December 29th, 2003, 4:04 pm

September 6th, 2007, 5:04 am #1

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
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Joined: April 1st, 2006, 5:15 pm

September 6th, 2007, 1:44 pm #2

and thank you for sharing. I am glad that you were in a situation with a good neighbor where you felt safe enough to let go and, yes, feel the pain again very intensely, because every time you do, it's less intense.

I hate to write these because words are not enough, and email is worse, but I hope you understand this is coming from a place of support, encouragement, admiration, and gratitude for feeling close enough to us to open up and let it all hang out.
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NOOAWLINSMA
NOOAWLINSMA

September 6th, 2007, 8:32 pm #3

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
I hope you feel a little better now that you let it out.
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Mrs. Fury
Mrs. Fury

September 6th, 2007, 10:21 pm #4

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
Come here and cry anytime. I wish I could be there for you. I woulda baked you a blackberry pie or something and brought over a bottle of wine. :) I miss you.
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Joined: March 17th, 2006, 6:30 pm

September 6th, 2007, 11:29 pm #5

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
you know what I thought after reading your post? The depth of your sadness and take that times the hundreds of thousands of people this affected, not just NO but the whole Gulf area Is that not an awsome amount of emotions?? I cant begin to imagine it. I guess its a kind of grief that time will help heal. I wish you happiness.
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Towanda!
Towanda!

September 7th, 2007, 12:40 pm #6

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
Sometimes that stuff just needs to get out. And you've had a triple loss (at least) to deal with--the hurricane stuff, then the physical presence of your social network (although you seem to be making a great start on that end of things in CA), as well as the loss of someone you clearly loved a great deal. That's a lot to deal with; no wonder you sometimes feel overwhelmed. Seems to me that you have done/are doing a terrific job of taking the bull by the horns and getting on with your life. I salute your courage!
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Joined: August 8th, 2003, 2:05 pm

September 8th, 2007, 4:03 am #7

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
As Towanda said, you seem to be courageously going forward with your life - but you gotta let those feelings flow occasionally. I guess sometimes we just have to take it one day at a time, right?

LG

_______________________________________
"It's too late in the world for flags."
- The Sand Pebbles, 1966
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Isabella
Isabella

September 12th, 2007, 2:08 pm #8

I have been fighting with myself since Aug. 29th. I watched a lot of specials about Katrina on that nite and did my own memorial thing for those who perished and who are still suffering. I have been asked a lot of Katrina questions lately, especially since 8-29. I always answer the questions and then something snaps inside of me and I go on about how so many people in N.O. and the MS. Gulf Coast and I am assuming AL. still need help. I talk to my friends everyday in N.O. and I spoke with my family in Gulfport a few days ago. They are not recovering.

Today I had a meeting at Landmark Winery and the Katrina subject came up as the Director of the Winery's wife is from Bogalusa. My friend Gale and I were there as we are hosting a women's networking wine event at Landmark and donating proceeds (again) to a Katrina cause. I have been feeling very angry. Today I spoke of how I was angry for so many reasons regarding the storm. I was ok when we left. Gale and I went to a restaurant in downtown Sonoma for happy hour and had a few drinks while we watched the US Open. Things were somber for me but ok.

Then I got in the car. Alone. I started driving back to Santa Rosa which is 20 miles from Sonoma. My body started shaking and I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I diverted my attention and got home. I turned on the US Open and my neighbor Monique knocked on the door for a visit. She asked me if I was ok b/c I was very quiet. I told her yes. She left and I continued watching tennis. Venus won. I started crying. Why? I felt emotions for both players but the tears would not stop and I realized that it wasn't about the tennis match. I walked over to Monique's and knocked on the door. When she answered, I said "Can we talk?" and I was crying. She was upset to see me crying pretty hard. We talked and I lost it. I was telling her everything that we all know about what most of us went through. Some of us were lucky including myself. Most were not. I sobbed for all of them and also for the fact that I felt "uprooted" and related the fear after the levees broke of not knowing if I had a home to go to. Then I got to Howard. Oh, poor Monique. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I should be over this". I know I shouldn't.

Anyway...........I needed that and I am sure it will continue for a while but each time it seems a little less intense. Monique came over and we talked some more. I feel much better but I wanted to write to my friends in New Orleans and those who know and felt what happened and what is not happening.

I remember uttering "I miss my home" at least 5 times. It was nice to have a good neighbor and friend here to hug me and listen.

Sorry, I wanted to share that with you and let you know that I miss all of you and my home despite how well things are going here. I just pray that N.O. and the other affected areas will get what they need and do the right thing to protect the people.

I think I have said enough. Thanks for hearing my tears.

Love you all
as you are, working on rebuilding my life, my network & community. I have had meltdowns too, they sound much like yours.

Do you know about The Red Cross giving $1000 of counseling to those who went thru Katrina (it even includes accupuncture for stress, addictions, grief and more)? I know I must have told you about it. But if I didn't, let me know & I will post the info here for everyone. (Yeah, I remember how the Red Cross treated us in Dallas, but I am willing to give them another chance)

I haven't utilized it yet, but my niece who is now divorcing her husband post K, is in great need, has no insurance and it has been a godsend for her.

Just an FYI for everyone.
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