deborahk
deborahk

November 22nd, 2006, 7:34 am #76

Joel

This is exactly what i needed to read today.
I am two weeks today into my quit and no one believes me - not even or especially my partner. I know that i cant really blame them because they have seen me quit so many times before. I would always relapse and then get really angry and blame everyone else but me and tell them not to talk to me about it.
My own guilt at the relapse was enough to make me act agressively and so they all learnt not to say anything to me about it.
I can see in their eyes that they are waiting for me to relapse again this time and they are ready for the tirade of guilty abuse that I am going to throw at them. They have steeled themselves against my falling down and blaming the world instead of my own addiction.
I am looking forward to the day that they can see that this one is for real and that they do not have to pay the price for what I am doing to myself.
Im not sure that my partner likes the new me because I am now really confrontational because I dont have a sickarette to talk to when I get upset.
He's confused with the new me and I think that it will take him some time to come to terms with the fact that I dont smoke anymore.
We had a tiff the other day and I went away to calm down. He followed me in about a half an hour and the first thing he said was. NOOO!! - I said - "no what???? "He said "where are the cigarettes????" He cannot fathom the idea of me not using nicotene to solve every problem that I have.
I know that giving up is for me and that is firmly planted in my brain, but it will be so good when my partner and kids can see, that this is the one and only real everlasting quit and that i will never feel the need to blame them for my relapses again.

Deborah - Free and Healing for Fourteen Days, 1 Hour and 34 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 5 Hours, by avoiding the use of 352 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $163.25.
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

November 22nd, 2006, 7:46 am #77

Here are a few videos that touch on different aspects of reactions that you may get from others when you quit smoking:
Title Dial Up HS/BB Audio Length Date added
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 1.30mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.75mb 2.22mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.52mb 17:42 11/12/06
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

December 2nd, 2006, 8:36 pm #78

Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

January 4th, 2007, 8:24 am #79

Here are a few videos that touch on different aspects of reactions that you may get from others when you quit smoking:
Title Dial Up HS/BB Audio Length Date added
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 1.30mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.75mb 2.22mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.52mb 17:42 11/12/06
Quote
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

January 5th, 2007, 10:46 pm #80

From: FearNothingDK-GOLD Sent: 4/6/2004 11:28 PM
Can I add this - tie it together?

Other peoples impressions of your quit



and another one to tie in would be Dave's When no one else cares

JoeJ Free - NicotineFree and Living as I was meant to be for One Year, Eleven Months, Twenty Five Days, 23 Hours and 31 Minutes, while reclaiming 62 Days and 22 Hours,
by choosing not to use 18125 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $3,688.39.
Quote
Share

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

January 11th, 2007, 6:56 am #81

Quote
Like
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

June 17th, 2007, 1:39 am #82

From: Joel Sent: 2/7/2006 5:11 PM
From: Joel. Sent: 10/7/2002 10:35 AM
I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel
Quote
Share

lfrogger
lfrogger

July 14th, 2007, 5:20 pm #83

I have quit many times over the 56 years of my life.
This time I hesitated telling family.
My husband was the only family that knew.
He would ask me off and on, when I was going to tell our kids (adult kids). I said I don't know.....Then I read a discussion here about how
telling people can make you more accountable and possibly prevent a relapse....
I was 2 weeks nicotine free when I shared my exciting news with each of our 4 children. They were each happy/excited for me.
One of my kids sent me 36 roses and a note that said " Keep up the good work! I am so proud of you, I know how hard this is! I also know know you can do it! You are an inspiration to all smokers Way to go!!!!! Love.....
Another called me and emailed saying "Wow! That is great that you have gone 2 weeks already. Good Job, Way to Go!!!!! That is so great about quitting smoking" Love.....
I realized how many times I have disappointed those I loved. How many times I had disappointed myself! My hesitation in telling anyone I had quit was an effort to spare them more disappointment and myself the shame of another failure.
By telling my children I had quit, I told myself I had quit. I told myself I believed in myself! NATP
Lou
3 weeks, 4 days nicotine free
declined 1,043 nicotine feedings
saved $182.44
Quote
Share

ANGELINA F
ANGELINA F

July 15th, 2007, 8:28 pm #84

After about 1 month people really started to believe I was serious
Quote
Share

Sumaspikey
Sumaspikey

July 16th, 2007, 11:11 pm #85

I've encountered so many people who are not convinced I am strong enough to do this, they all seem so surprised when I tell them how well I'm doing. Then I just get a bemused look and a mumbled "congratulations" as they slope off to smoke a cigarette! I'm glad I found Joel's videos that are relevant to this before my friends and family treated my quit with such disbelief - they've helped me understand why they say the things they do. Thank you!
Quote
Share

Sonja
Sonja

August 18th, 2007, 6:37 pm #86

My husband can NOT believe that I have really & truly quit...he asks me at least once a day if I have smoked. When I get stressed out he gives me a funny look like, "isn't this when you smoke?"
My children were so happy the first week of my quit, talking about it all the time...now they just take it in stride because having a mom who doesn't smoke cigarettes really is NORMAL. My eight year old son said he didn't understand why everyone was so happy that I stopped doing something SO stupid in the first place.
I take care of my own quit so they never have to. Smoking was a sickness for me & now I am getting well. Not smoking is normal, healthy, right.

Sonja 32 days of not smoking!
Quote
Share

Hope977
Hope977

August 20th, 2007, 5:58 am #87

Interesting question. I've been quit just a few days shy of a year. The last time I told somebody 'no really, I don't smoke anymore' was just last month. I was such a hard core nicotine addict, at first no one believed me. (Except my kids, who were great.) That was OK though. I believed me. I was sick of smoking, sick of feeding a very demanding addiction, sick of buying poison & then injesting it. So I quit, and will NTAP. I very much relish my freedom.
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

September 23rd, 2007, 10:24 am #88

I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel


Here are a few videos that touch on different aspects of reactions that you may get from others when you quit smoking:
Title Dial Up HS/BB Audio Length Date added
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 1.30mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.75mb 2.22mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.52mb 17:42 11/12/06
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

January 9th, 2008, 12:12 am #89

From above:

I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel

Here are a few videos that touch on different aspects of reactions that you may get from others when you quit smoking:
Title Dial Up HS/BB Audio Length Date added
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 1.30mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.75mb 2.22mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.52mb 17:42 11/12/06
Quote
Share

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

March 20th, 2008, 9:53 am #90

And do not forget to celebrate yourself. Each day that you are nicotine free is a day of true healing.
Quote
Like
Share

Joel
Joel

April 11th, 2008, 5:49 am #91

From above:

I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

April 15th, 2008, 3:46 am #92

From above:

I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel
Quote
Share

Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

February 5th, 2009, 10:35 pm #93

Related videos:

Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Length Created
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 4.07mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.8mb 6.92mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.5mb 8.05mb 17:42 11/12/06
Quote
Like
Share