Rosemary (Gold)
Rosemary (Gold)

February 12th, 2003, 6:23 am #26

I knew that my husband took my quit seriously when I was one month and one week into my quit. Why did I know then? Because he quit on that day.

Rosemary--Free for 1 Year 16 Hours 52 Minutes 18 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 7314. Money saved: $1,828.51.
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Changingmyname(SILVER )
Changingmyname(SILVER )

February 12th, 2003, 7:49 am #27

I know this is an old thread, but it's certainly one worthy of response for years to come!

I know my husband took my quit seriously on day 2 when he (a never-smoker) asked, "Do you think maybe this isn't the right time to quit?" and I turned around, snarled ferociously at him and spit out, "When would you suggest I quit? When I'm DEAD? It doesn't get easier than this, EVER!". I could see the realization that I was going to hang on to the whitewater raft of withdrawal with all my might come into his eyes, and since then we don't mention smoking very much at all. We both remark on how much easier things are, especially while traveling, but it's been a smooth and unremarkable journey...

My family noticed my serenity most of all. In previous quits, I was envious of the other smoking family members. In this one, I know that I am making an informed choice, and I'm secure in it. I think my attitude, more than anything, was most convincing, although I have been asked if I sneak a few here and there...as if I could, even if I wanted to!

Theresa free for : 5M 2W 3D 23h 55m 11s. I have NOT smoked 3419, for a savings of $1,282.47. Life Saved: 1W 4D 20h 55m.
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CanadaBobGold
CanadaBobGold

February 12th, 2003, 1:12 pm #28

I guess it's not really p.c. to say that in so many ways, my quit is for all the people around me. While I'm obviously the main beneficiary, and my resolve to quit is strengthened by the many benefits I'm experiencing, the approval and encouragement of my family, friends and co-workers is a great source of power to succeed.

After six weeks of being smoke-free (in my first attempt to quit smoking in 35 years), I just couldn't bear the thought of having to admit to everyone (plus myself) that I failed at this. As time goes on, I'll have to refocus on the benefits to myself as everyone else will gradually forget about my quit and new acquaintances will never know I smoked.

But I know that acomplete abstinence forever does work, as I've showed myself with two other major addictions that I've beaten for 4.5 years and 20 years, respectively
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MsArmstrongKIS
MsArmstrongKIS

May 12th, 2003, 9:33 pm #29

This is a cool thread. I think we should add to it, today.

My parents think it's nice that I'm "trying" but I've lied to them so many times before about quitting that they aren't really buying this one yet. Guess I deserve that.

My friends keep asking me if I've smoked yet. This morning one of my smoking friends rushed up to me and said "Are you a smoker again, yet? Kat saw you smoking on the college green yesterday! Didja, didja?" Nope. . .I must have had a bic pen in my hand or something. He looked disappointed. This is the same guy who used to come up to me until about three weeks ago to ask to bum a cigarette off of me. . .I quit, dorkface! I don't keep cigarettes around just to bum to people!

My uncle says it's very important to "try" to quit smoking, no matter how many times you fail. Flawed support, but at least his heart is in the right place.

Pretty much nobody around me believes that I'm never going to smoke again. They all think this is just a fad. To be fair, we've all watched each other sustain quits for periods of time and then fall. They think they are waiting for the inevitable. . .I don't know anyone my own age who has managed to stop smoking permanently. I know how much my quit is threatening my smoking friends. Every day that goes by that I don't smoke they see how possible it is, and how hollow their own excuses for smoking are. I know that many of them are wishing that I would smoke so that they would be proven correct in their assumption that really quitting for good is impossible.

I'm not "trying" to quit. I quit. As Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." This is so applicable to quitting smoking.

All of this negative support is annoying and can make things a little difficult, but I've always been a pretty independant minded soul and I figure my smoking friends will all be where I am in a few years--I'm just a little ahead of my time and am lucky not to have to waste the money and health that they will in catching up to me.

My best support comes from me. I'm so excited about being a non-smoker. My second best support comes from this group. Y'all don't let me get very far when I start thinking illogically about smoking. Everybody else is just going to have to get used to the fact that I'm not going to take another puff.

Alex
2 months 3 weeks 7 days nicotine free
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Joel
Joel

August 12th, 2003, 11:37 pm #30

From: Joel. Sent: 10/7/2002 10:35 AM
I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joel

September 19th, 2003, 6:50 pm #31

For DaLisa
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Joel
Joel

November 9th, 2003, 7:39 am #32

For Peg
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Joel
Joel

December 8th, 2003, 3:08 am #33

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VoluntaryDebraSilver
VoluntaryDebraSilver

December 8th, 2003, 10:38 am #34

Alex, I think you're marvelous. Good luck, , Debra
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Mike Berg
Mike Berg

December 8th, 2003, 11:16 am #35

I received some scepticism from a couple of people at work but i think by the 3nd day of my quit they could see that i was serious.

It was funny at home as i believe my wife and i did not discuss my(our) quits until about the 7th day. Not one word!!! We both quit at the same time as she would smoke a few out my pack every day. I stopped buying cigs so her supply dried up.

my quit has motivated 2 others to quit as well(along with help whyquit.com). that would be 3 including my wife. Both of them say that if I could do it so could they--as i was always known as a hardcore smoker. One of them even says that if i relapse then he will relapse as well.-- Thats just more motivatuion for me to NTAP!!!


As I talk to people about smoking i am hearing all the familiar excuses--"I'll quit when I'm 35" or " yeah i gotta quit one of these days" etc.... So sad.
Mike

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 3 Days, 14 minutes and 12 seconds (41 days). I have saved $123.02 by not smoking 2,050 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 2 hours and 50 minutes of my life.
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catherine2255 Bronze
catherine2255 Bronze

December 8th, 2003, 5:48 pm #36

Well, I didnt tell my husband until week 2 of my quit (I live away for work purposes at the moment) He was very sceptical of me. He quit in February 2003 for 6 months with the help of a book that 'changed his life & the way he thought about his nicotine addiction'. He told me he started smoking again in August (but I suspect he started back up again before that) & blamed me for his failure, the fact that I couldnt quit when he did 'set him up for failure & that it was unfair of me not to quit when he did'. I think he was pretty embarrassed by the fact that he started up again because he lectured so many people about nicotine addiction and how it 'pulls you in' to the point where smokers got very defensive & avoided him.

When I did tell him his response was ' I did it for 6 months, you will never beat that!'. I was really disappointed, I had been very supportive of him when he quit despite the fact that I didnt quit. Now every time I mention it I get a lecture that I am not at the 6 month point yet as if this is a competition of who stayed off the longest. The worst for me is that he still remains convinced that I will relapse and he gets very defensive when I want to talk about the subject, I'm just really proud of myself & I want to tell him how I'm doing. I was a very selfish smoker, in fact obsessed with smoking, and my husband has always seen me as the more addicted out of the pair of us as I smoked 5 times more than him.

But despite the surprise of not having my husbands support, I have found a lot of support and encouragement from my close friends.

My mother was ecstatic when I told her I had quit for 3 months. I waited a long time to make sure this was a safe quit before telling her, she lost both parents to lung cancer from smoking & gets pretty upset about both her daughters smoking.

Sorry if this is a ramble, I just needed to get this out.

Most importantly, I take this quit seriously and am not sceptical one bit. I know I can do this for me.
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TerrysDaughter Green
TerrysDaughter Green

December 8th, 2003, 7:04 pm #37

Catherine,

I felt sad when I read your post that your husband is being like this with you. But more importantly, I feel very proud of you for your wonderful, beautiful quit---in spite of his inability to support you in it.

I know that you know that this is not a competition. It is not a battle of the wills. It is an addiction. For both of you. For all of us. As long as you NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF you will pass the 6 month mark, the 6 year mark, and if you avoid all out of control busses, the 60 year mark!

Taking another puff is simply NOT AN OPTION. Period. That is why I, an addict, do not smoke and will never smoke again. I didn't stop being an addict, I didn't stop feeling the cravings (although they are very few and far between now, as it does get better), and I didn't stop needing that "hit" of "something" when I feel stressed or sad. I did, however, make the law in my life that I can never take another puff. That is why I do not smoke.

Come here when you need support. You will always receive it and more. As Sue always reminds me, "Hug your precious quit." and hug yourself.

Be proud of yourself, because it hasn't been easy. I know.

And here is a hug for you.

God bless your heart and your quit!!

Live in the Moment!
TerrysDaughter_Bronze
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Joel
Joel

December 8th, 2003, 8:16 pm #38

Here Catherine, read these two stings. The second one is not the exact same situation but it shows how a person who doesn't quit or loses a quit can act very defensively because of the success of others.

Negative support from others

The Relapse of A "Social Smoker"
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momat29
momat29

December 9th, 2003, 11:27 am #39

So far no one in my family has taken my quit seriously, nor do they ask how's it going. Guess because I "tried" before.

No, wait, I lied, when my kids come home from thier weekend visit with their Dad, my six year old is the "Smoke Police"!

CJ always says: "did ya smoke this weekend"?
Laura my daughter hugs me a lot more.

I can totaly relate to Alex's post.

Sonya
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Berly73
Berly73

December 16th, 2003, 2:35 am #40

Alex - Congratulations on your freedom! You are an inspiration to others and you should be proud. Stay strong and stay free!!

NTAP

Kim - Free and Healing for Twenty Two Days, 10 Hours and 3 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 6 Days and 5 Hours, by avoiding the use of 448 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $70.69.
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Berly73
Berly73

December 16th, 2003, 4:00 am #41

Sonya - You are doing great. Be proud of yourself. Come here when you need support. You will always receive it and more.

Stay strong and free!!

Love and light,

Kim - Free and Healing for Twenty Two Days, 11 Hours and 57 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 6 Days and 5 Hours, by avoiding the use of 450 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $70.94.
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Joel
Joel

December 23rd, 2003, 3:55 am #42

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OBob Gold
OBob Gold

January 8th, 2004, 7:42 am #43

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Joanne Gold
Joanne Gold

February 4th, 2004, 6:03 am #44

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Joel
Joel

April 7th, 2004, 11:24 am #45

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FearNothingDK GOLD
FearNothingDK GOLD

April 7th, 2004, 11:28 am #46

Can I add this - tie it together?

Other peoples impressions of your quit

Sandy - Free and Healing for One Month, Eight Days, 21 Hours and 27 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 14 Hours, by avoiding the use of 467 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $186.99.
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Joel
Joel

November 14th, 2004, 9:56 pm #47

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Oliviadawg
Oliviadawg

November 15th, 2004, 2:50 am #48

I've been really lucky in that my husband and close friends have been nothing but positive and supportive of my quit, even though I've fallen flat a couple of times before and they really have reason to be skeptical. I've kept this quit a lot more quiet and low-key than my previous attempts, so I really only discuss it regularly with a couple of people.

My best friend -- a rather militant never-smoker who always hated my smoking since high school -- checks in periodically and seems very proud of me. (She "quit" her manipulative boyfriend at almost exactly the same time, so we look at it like we're both getting rid of our unhealthy crutches together.)

I do sometimes feel that my husband, a never-smoker, doesn't really understand what a big deal this quit is, but I guess there's no way he can since he's never dealt with an addiction of his own.
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Just Gie Gold
Just Gie Gold

November 15th, 2004, 8:37 am #49

There's a few people in my life now who never knew me as a smoker. It's an odd feeling when they look at you and say "You?" I kinda like it though. That happened for the first time at about the 5 month mark.
My husband outright told me when I started that he didn't believe I would stick to it. He started taking me seriously after we went out a few times to the bar, and I didn't smoke there. I think that was at about the 3 month mark.
My smoking "buddies" at work stopped dropping by to pick me up for a smoke break at about a month. They did keep trying for a while though. Now no one bothers anymore.
Angie - 10 Months 18 Hours 15 Minutes 31 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 2446. Money saved: C$978.43 I've reclaimed 2 Wks 2 Days 23 Hrs 40 Mins 51 Secs of my life.
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LEHarris52
LEHarris52

November 15th, 2004, 11:02 am #50

Other people probably started taking my quit seriously when I started nagging THEM to quit!!

Laura in KY
I have chosen not to smoke for 8m, 3w,2d, 3 hours and 15 minutes which has saved $798.53. I have refused to poison my body with 10,647 cigarettes and added 1 month, 6 days, 23 hours, 15 minutes to my life.
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