When did people start to take your quit seriously?

When did people start to take your quit seriously?

Joel
Joel

October 6th, 2002, 10:33 pm #1

I suspect a lot of newer members are encountering great skepticism as to the odds of you actually quitting from family members and friends. I thought to help you overcome some of the doubts such reactions may bring, some of our longer term members may be able to shed a little light on the subject through their personal experiences. On another day we will address when you yourself started to believe that this quit was different and would be the one that might really last, but for this string, give us a little bit of reactions you encountered from other people. When did they start to see this quit as one that was different? When did they start to see a hope that maybe this time you were going to be capable of sticking to your commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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SweetLorraine (Gold)
SweetLorraine (Gold)

October 6th, 2002, 10:48 pm #2

Dear Joel,

As a pretty sneaky ex-smoker there are a lot of people who never realized I smoked - can't expect them to be congratulating me on quitting. There are my old smoking buddies, not all thrilled with my quitting. Then there is my family who did realize I smoked and didn't like it and are pleased that I quit and would be disappointed if I started again but are not enthusiastic about my quit. More like "Well you finally wised up - what's for dinner?"

Sorry to disappoint, but thank you for pointing out that it is important to quit for yourself, I am thrilled to be free.

yqf

Lorraine

Celebrating 11 months 3 weeks and 4 days of Freedom!
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Toast (GOLD )
Toast (GOLD )

October 6th, 2002, 10:53 pm #3

Hi Joel,

A great idea for a thread!

I'd have to say two experiences stand out in my head related to your question.

The first was 3 months into my quit. Hubby had quit the day before I did, but had relapsed about 6 weeks in. The day I turned Bronze, I was telling him about it and he looked at me in disbelief and asked if I hadn't had any in three months. Hello??!! As tho I had been sneaking them like him but just hadn't gone back to full-fledged smoking. As tho that were possible! If I'd had one, I'd have for sure had ALL of them. Currently, he's about 3 months into his quit now ...

The second experience was last spring, a couple months before my year anniversary. I was sitting here with a new client cutting up and chatting as we worked along and I mentioned something about my year quit anniversary coming up. She literally was stunned and said she couldn't imagine me a smoker. !!! She was the FIRST person to tell me that EVER in my life. (No need to tell me before I was a smoker ...) And while I could and can still remember myself as a smoker, it gave me room to start thinking of myself NOT as a smoker, either active or recently quit. I look forward to thinking of myself beyond smoking all together.

Melissa
Not a smoker for 16 months
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DubiouslyDos
DubiouslyDos

October 7th, 2002, 5:02 am #4

Funny you should have brought this up today Joel! Only lately have friends and family begun to believe that THIS quit is THE quit. I don't get asked very much, and am pretty quiet about my numbers (heh, this site not withstanding of course)...I decided along time ago that I'm not going to "expect" compliments, courtesy (from smoking friends), but neither will I allow negative comments to "sabatoge" my quit.

I guess I was afraid of getting "hooked" on the drama??? In order to make my quit successful, I wanted it to be part of the natural flow of my live change....I want it to become a reflex, like blinking, swallowing, or breathing. My husband knows to "play down" the success I've had with this quit...because I do a Mona Lisa immitation when it comes up. Coworkers are shocked....I don't weaken, bash them, or ask them to blow in my face....they know already that if they are ever really serious about wanting to quit smoking....Freedom is where to go. Your site has changed my life and I am so thankful for the guidance and support we all have here.
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Angelina Gold
Angelina Gold

October 7th, 2002, 6:30 am #5

Hello darling Joel

Well, I must echo Melissa's sentiments - it was absolutely the day my co-worker (changed jobs as a 'quitter') said to me when she 'caught' me on Freedom "I can't IMAGINE you as a smoker !!!!

Blew my mind, rocked my world, did my head in and any other creating expressions you can think of. It affected me so much I actaully POSTED it !!!

I can say with dead certainty that is the definative moment. I guess I always imagined myself as a 'smoker' and having this person look at me with this incredulous look as if the site of me inhaling a stink stick was too hard to contemplate was AMAZING !!!

Funny, you know - a few weeks ago a smoking colleague (who i have all but tatooed whyquit.com on her forehead) said to me at a 'dinner' - but you are A SMOKER - you look like one I can tell. It did not have the reverse affect if you know what I mean - it just made me sad to see Nicodemon attempting this pathetic angle - speaking through my colleagues addiction.

Great thread.

Love

Angelina
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Jordan(Silver)
Jordan(Silver)

October 7th, 2002, 6:46 am #6

Hi Joel,

I was two weeks into my quit before my family really started taking me seriously. The other quits I attempted in the past, were uninformed quits. I did'nt know much about how nicotine affects the body. I did'nt realize how addictive it was. I did'nt even know that smoking affects the circulation. With all of the information here I now know what to expect from quitting. I realize everyone is different, but this site gives me a sort've map to go by. It has helped me tremendously knowing why I react the way I do to smoking and withdrawal.
I have alot of relatives who are smokers. They don't seem too happy that I quit. But this quit IS for ME. I don't need anyone's approval or disaproval of it. It's been a little over a month for me now. I think the clincher for my husband taking me seriously was when we went out the other night. There were smokers everywhere and we had drinks, but I did'nt smoke. I did'nt even want to smoke. I have'nt went to a bar and not smoked in about 14 years. I was proud that I handled the triggers from that.

Sincerely,
gjordan (green)
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Suekickbutt (GOLD)
Suekickbutt (GOLD)

October 7th, 2002, 7:07 am #7

I really had to think about this one Joel. My answer is a bit strange. I have to say that I knew in myself that this was it (but that's another thread!), however my husband and family have always treated each quit as the last. Perhaps deep down they didn't think I could do it, I'm not sure, but they were always supportive, offering help, telling me to call them if I had a craving etc. At times, they seemed to tip-toe around me, as if one little action would cause me to smoke again.
HUH! Reading back over that , I feel extremely foolish, as I just realised that obviously they never took it seriously. Why else would they tip-toe around me? I'm just silly. Anyway, they are still tip-toeing! But I know better, to keep this lovely comfrtable quit NTAP
Sue
4 months, 2 weeks
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relagoldalicious
relagoldalicious

October 7th, 2002, 11:40 am #8

Hi Joel,

I think that people are starting to take my quit more seriously now that I'm 2 months. Everytime I see a person that knows I've quit they say, "How's the quitting going?" Those that don't see me very often expect me to say "it's not" while simultaneosly (sp?) lighting up. But those that are cynical about my quit realize that i'm not smoking and when i say " It's going, you don't see me smoking, do you?" Their eyebrows raise up and I know that they are impresed. The best is when i go to a party and I'm hangin' out in the non-smoking section and no one even know I ever smoked. That's a great feeling!- Ariella smoke free and getting comfortable for Two months, 18 hours, 24 minutes and 15 seconds. 1235 cigarettes not smoked, saving $432.37. Life saved: 4 days, 6 hours, 55 minutes.
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Suekickbutt (GOLD)
Suekickbutt (GOLD)

October 7th, 2002, 11:44 am #9

Hey Ariella
You look kinda DOUBLE GREEN to me ....
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Jim Gold
Jim Gold

October 7th, 2002, 12:06 pm #10

The most suppportive person I have in my life is my wonderful wife, a never smoker.

This is my second quit attempt. Last year, I talked with my wife and told her how much I disliked being a smoker and I tried (half-heartidly) to quit. That first quit lasted 2 days. I broke it when I decided to "take a puff" in order to take the edgy feeling away. That took me right back to 1-1/2 packs a day...

This quit, after becoming educated by Freedom and whyquit.com is different. It is different in the sense that I am quitting for ME and it matters to ME that I stay quit.

During this final quit, my wife was there every day helping for about a month. Then, her suppport began to wean (so it seemed). However, on the 14th of EVERY month, she bakes my favorite cake (CHOCOLATE!!) in celebration of me being FREE!

So, do the loved ones forget about the quit or do they forget about CELEBRATING?

Jim <---celebrating 5.666 months FREE!!!
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improud (golder)
improud (golder)

October 7th, 2002, 8:45 pm #11

Hi Joel
I was sitting with my husband one night after dinner (we were at a neighborhood bar/rest) and I said to him I think I'll get a pack of cigarettes and smoke again I really want too He flipped out and told me No you're not you are doing so good I know that you will never smoke again. And he is right Also I must tell you that I was testing him I had noooo intentions of smoking And I might add that I knew that this quit was the one when I found this site. I don't think I would have made it if it wasn't for FREEDOM THANK YOU Cathy ~ GOLD CLUB
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SandyBob GOLD
SandyBob GOLD

October 7th, 2002, 11:11 pm #12

Hi Joel -

I've given this subject a lot of thought lately. It seems as though just past the 3 month mark I've really started to take this seriously. Reason being, I've done this before. Uninformed, but I did succeed for a few months 7 years back. I've reached such a level of comfort in the last couple of weeks that I thought was never attainable. I never felt the comfort in the past quit (which lasted 6 months). I can never express the gratitude I feel for all the educational material that has made all the difference in the world to me. I can't say it enough: It IS AS SIMPLE AS NEVER TAKING ANOTHER PUFF!

From the bottom of my heart
Thank you Joel and this Freedom forum. Never would have gotten here without you all.

SandyBob
4 days shy of 4 months!
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SandyBob GOLD
SandyBob GOLD

October 7th, 2002, 11:12 pm #13

PS

Family, Friends, and Co-Workers -

It is a mute point.

It truly is all up to me.

SandyBob
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Joel
Joel

October 7th, 2002, 11:35 pm #14

I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious.

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be.

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know.

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joel

October 7th, 2002, 11:38 pm #15

Here are some posts on the issue raised above:
Negative support from others 50 11 Joel. 10/7/2002 10:37 AM
Quitting for Others 17 1 Joel. 10/7/2002 10:36 AM
Support from Others 26 1 Joel. 10/7/2002 10:36 AM
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Rickgoldx5
Rickgoldx5

October 8th, 2002, 1:20 am #16

Joel,
I'll jump in here to say that when I quit people arund me laughed. Whenever anybody around me would try to quit I would say "I will never quit because I'll just be lying to myself cause I don't want to quit nor will I ever quit!" So needless to say they were very skeptical when I said I quit. It wasn't till about a month later that the story of me quitting made it around work and people started to notice. I wasn't going out for smoke breaks every 30min. I would always take my leagle breakes with a fellow friend who also smoked. But now I just go out and talk while he smokes. It took them awhile before they realised it cause I didn't advertise it. So after they'd found out it had been a month they started asking me how and why. Thats when I told them about this site and when they asked why, I'd answer,"maybe cause its not good for me?"or "Cause I quit lying to myself and knew I had to quit or end up like my Mother and quit too late to do anything about my fate!" Now that its been 5 months they really belive it and don't question my quit anymore. But some still ask how!
Rick
Five months, three days, 5 hours, 20 minutes and 20 seconds. 12810 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,915.13. Life saved: 6 weeks, 2 days, 11 hours, 30 minutes.
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AmyK
AmyK

October 9th, 2002, 9:51 am #17

I took my quit seriously when I started fighting the physical withdrawal upon awakening my first nicotine-free day! I had to keep the goal in mind.

My husband realized I was "serious" when I made it past the first 72 hours, particularly at the end of "Glory Week". He witnessed firsthand what I went through the first 48 hours, since it occurred over a weekend.

Friends whom I don't often see and my mildly-interested coworkers seem to understand that I "mean business" with quitting now that I have passed one month. For some reason, an entire month seems far more significant to them than, say, three weeks and six days. That is funny to me, because I know that every day has been meaningful and has contributed a lot to the value of my quit.

Amy
I have not smoked for 1M 20h 25m.
That would have been 637 nasty cigarettes, at a cost of $111.48.
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Angelina Gold
Angelina Gold

October 9th, 2002, 10:42 am #18

Joel, I just wanted to comment on your observations of your friends/family/etc.

A few weeks ago my partner was really giving me the willies by NOT quitting. I didn't say anything because I have learned not to, but I hatched a 'cunning plan......"

I got in the car one particular day and on the way somewhere I turned to him and said "**** this - I've had it - give me a smoke".

He was really incredulous and said "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"?

I said "Well, look at you, you are so fit and healthy and smoking doesn't seem to be doing YOU any harm"..........."stuff it"

To which he replied.................."Dont be so &(&^*ing STUPID!!!! - It STINKS, its vile, its going to kill you in the end and you have been SO CALM - You don't even have cravings or anything anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At that point I just gave hime 'the look'...........you know the one. The totally "I just got you a beauty with the old reverse psychology thingo" look.......

Well, he laughed - but he also got a real glean in his eye and said "yeah.........i get it".

He is really really close to giving HIMSELF the chance so you are dead right - we are truly liviing examples to the die hards around us!!

Cheers

Love

Angelina
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David Gold
David Gold

December 17th, 2002, 7:30 pm #19

I think it was at about the one month mark. That's when I noticed that people weren't making a big deal over my quit anymore. I was a little hurt by that but then I realized that was just the natural order of things. People don't get congratulated1,2,or 3 months after a job promotion. It's the same way with quitting smoking.

David
5 months +
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A1ex Gold
A1ex Gold

January 18th, 2003, 12:35 am #20

What I do find strange is how people's attitudes towards me have changed. Some people are still extremely protective of me and my quit, whereas others find it interesting to test me to see if I really have quit.

The "protectors" don't think that I should associate with smokers in case I go back to smoking. I appreciate their concern but I like these people whether they smoke or not. The fact that they smoke doesn't bother me anymore. It's their choice, as it is my choice not to smoke.

The "testers" seem to think that it's impossible to quit and take it upon themselves to get you hooked again. They are suspicious of your quit and seem to think that you have just cut down and only smoke in secret. So they offer you a cigarette and promise not to tell a soul, "You're secret is safe with me." It's great to see the look of incredulity and embarrassment on their faces when you respond by saying "No." I still get a kick out it. They usually try to hide their embarrassment by saying something like "Congratulations. Just let me know if you want one." Thanks buddy, I got your back too! :o)

My message is don't give in! You're stronger than that! Sure you have good days as well as some not so good days, but what's that got to do with smoking?

It's just Nicodemon lying to you. Take great pride in your achievement.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved." - Unknown

Never take another puff!!

Alex

Nicotine free for: 5M 5D 24m 53s.

Not smoked 3160 cigarettes.

I have saved £647.87

Self-esteem: Priceless!
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Joel
Joel

January 18th, 2003, 12:42 am #21

Hello Alex:

See the string Negative support from others. It will help explain the possible motives of your "testers." Just know you will pass their tests and your own tests too everytime you stick to your commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Suzy Zann
Suzy Zann

February 12th, 2003, 3:05 am #22

Everyone I know has been so supportive. Everyday my family and my boyfriend tell me how proud they are and to keep up the good work. I'm so fortunate to have these people in my life. I'm proud of me, too.
1w 6:01 smoke-free, 293 cigs not smoked, $73.25 saved, 1d 0:25 life saved
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Rosemary (Gold)
Rosemary (Gold)

February 12th, 2003, 6:23 am #23

I knew that my husband took my quit seriously when I was one month and one week into my quit. Why did I know then? Because he quit on that day.

Rosemary--Free for 1 Year 16 Hours 52 Minutes 18 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 7314. Money saved: $1,828.51.
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Changingmyname(SILVER )
Changingmyname(SILVER )

February 12th, 2003, 7:49 am #24

I know this is an old thread, but it's certainly one worthy of response for years to come!

I know my husband took my quit seriously on day 2 when he (a never-smoker) asked, "Do you think maybe this isn't the right time to quit?" and I turned around, snarled ferociously at him and spit out, "When would you suggest I quit? When I'm DEAD? It doesn't get easier than this, EVER!". I could see the realization that I was going to hang on to the whitewater raft of withdrawal with all my might come into his eyes, and since then we don't mention smoking very much at all. We both remark on how much easier things are, especially while traveling, but it's been a smooth and unremarkable journey...

My family noticed my serenity most of all. In previous quits, I was envious of the other smoking family members. In this one, I know that I am making an informed choice, and I'm secure in it. I think my attitude, more than anything, was most convincing, although I have been asked if I sneak a few here and there...as if I could, even if I wanted to!

Theresa free for : 5M 2W 3D 23h 55m 11s. I have NOT smoked 3419, for a savings of $1,282.47. Life Saved: 1W 4D 20h 55m.
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CanadaBobGold
CanadaBobGold

February 12th, 2003, 1:12 pm #25

I guess it's not really p.c. to say that in so many ways, my quit is for all the people around me. While I'm obviously the main beneficiary, and my resolve to quit is strengthened by the many benefits I'm experiencing, the approval and encouragement of my family, friends and co-workers is a great source of power to succeed.

After six weeks of being smoke-free (in my first attempt to quit smoking in 35 years), I just couldn't bear the thought of having to admit to everyone (plus myself) that I failed at this. As time goes on, I'll have to refocus on the benefits to myself as everyone else will gradually forget about my quit and new acquaintances will never know I smoked.

But I know that acomplete abstinence forever does work, as I've showed myself with two other major addictions that I've beaten for 4.5 years and 20 years, respectively
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