What is comfort?

Rickrob53 Gold
Rickrob53 Gold

April 17th, 2005, 2:07 am #1

It seems as though everybody at one time or another tells a newbie or middlebie about it. We write words of encouragement about it to someone who may be struggling in their quit. We all read about it. But with respect to our recovery from active nicotine addiction, what is comfort?

I offer this thread as a way for those ex-smokers among us, who have truly reached comfort, to describe in their own words what "comfort" is to them. In this way, maybe a newbie or middlebie or someone who is struggling with a quit can get a sense of what this comfort business is all about. We oldbies promise that comfort is coming, well what is it?

(com·fort n 2a: state or feeling of relief… b: contented well being.)

I've reached comfort. I thought I knew what comfort was when I had been quit for six months… turns out that was only a glimpse of the true comfort that was waiting for me. To me, the comfort I am in is living my life everyday where there are no smoking related anxieties whatsoever! None at all! I have no "want" for a cigarette. I have no urges or cravings of any kind, ever! Imagine a state of complete mental calmness… I have that!

I know that someone who is in the beginning of their quit can find it hard to believe that such a state of comfort is possible, so I'll try to explain what this is like for me over the course of my day. Instead of waking up with thoughts of not smoking for the day or wondering if there will be any tough craves, I simply wake up. On my drive to work, instead of seeing the ads for cigarettes at the store and getting an urge to want a smoke, I simply drive to work. At work, instead of feeling antsy because of the time-void of no longer take my trips to the alley to smoke, I simply do my work. When eating lunch, instead of feeling like something will be missing at the end of the meal, I simply enjoy eating my lunch. When getting ready for sleep, instead of worrying if the next day will find my quit a little easier or harder, I simply go to sleep. Day in, day out, I do this all the time. Every now and then I beam with a little pride in what I've done for me by quitting. Pretty boring, huh? Maybe! But utterly comfortable without smoking? ...no wants, no urges, no cravings, no sense of longing, no cluttered thoughts... you can believe it!

If I could trade places with a newbie or middlebie for even a day so that they could feel for themselves the real comfort I am in, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. I know I can't, but I can say this: Anyone who stays true to their resolve and commitment to be quit and to Never Take Another Puff (not one bit of nicotine at all, no matter what), can't stop their own comfort from coming to them!

Richard (Gold)
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Pamf777
Pamf777

April 17th, 2005, 3:02 am #2

Hey Rick...Thanks so much for your post. I'm at 3 1/2 months now and I can't wait for that comfort to come....I know I've got to do the journey...and I accept that....but you do wonder what that comfort is...To me it's never having a desire to smoke no matter what you are doing....to stop wondering if I'm ever going to get there....mayby everyone thinks this way...I don't know but I wonder....am I every going to feel this way.??...All I can do at this point is believe all the oldbies that keep saying..."it gets better and better" I know I'm now not in a constant struggle, and cigarettes are not on my mind too often....maybe this is the beginning....I sure hope so....I just go day to day saying I will not smoke today!! Again thanks.....I'll take boring any day to this internal dialogue arguing...I will win over my executive reminder....Soon he will be reminding me of things that I want to remember....Looking sooo forward to total comfort!!

Pam :) 107 days nic free and lovin' it
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Just Gie Gold
Just Gie Gold

April 17th, 2005, 4:22 am #3

Remember back to when you were a little kid? You were just fine without cigarettes or nicotine, nor did you likely spend any time thinking about the whole situation. You were able to get excited about things and life, without punctuating the activity with a cigarette. That's how I think of it.

When you reach "comfort" you will find other things to talk and worry about and the days will zip by at the speed that you're accustomed to. People will even tend to forget that you were a smoker, and new people you meet will look at you funny when you tell them you used to smoke.

In fact eventually you'll get so comfortable in your ex-smoker skin you might get so complacent as to believe that you can have one and not get hooked again, because it won't seem like you could ever be a real smoker again....you're too comfortable without them. This is a danger and this is where your education about your nicotine addiction will remain the one thing that keeps you an ex-smoker, because you KNOW the law of addiction and you KNOW that you can't have that one without having them all.

And you know what? You'll be able to accept that, without losing any sleep over it. When a random crave comes, and they sometimes do....even after a year!.. it won't be the all consuming, nerve wracking battle with your addiction and identity that it may be now. It'll be more like a flickering thought...kinda like...."Gee that smoke looks good....um....ew....look, there's smoke coming out of her nose...maybe not" Crave over.

That's the best way I can think of to describe it, and trust me when I say to anyone struggling in the beginning of a quit, you may not be able to envision this "comfort" right now but you don't have to. Just worry about today, and resolve to get through today smoke-free. I remember what a leap of faith it is when you start out on this journey, and in this day and age of get rich quick schemes, and instant weight loss pills I think it's natural to be pretty skeptical. But hey, consider this....Freedom is free and there's no member here that has any financial motivation to give you false promises. We know how it is, because we've been there and done it. And so can you.

Angie - 1 Year 3 Months 3 Days


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GoldenDivamom1972
GoldenDivamom1972

April 17th, 2005, 8:03 am #4

Well, I suppose I am somewhere between Pam and Rickrob on the comfort scale.

I am nowhere near struggling with this quit. I realize that at 103 days, my quit is pretty new. I do, however, feel like I'm cruising along in the maintenance zone. I don't have to tell myself, "No nicotine today!" when I wake up, because I already know I'm not going to have any nicotine, duh!

I don't mourn the loss of my "friend". It was never my friend!

Yes, I have "bad days", but not because of smoking cessation. It's because life is just plain stressful sometimes and I can't always control it.

Yep, my quit is downright boring these days, no doubt. But it's boring in a good way, because that means it's become as natural as...well, breathing! I love that.

There are forthcoming events that I have not yet faced nicotine-free. I don't *have* to "make a plan" for these triggers. I already have my game plan--it's as simple as NTAP. If I don't put nicotine to my lips, light it on fire, and **** it deep into my lungs, then I don't have to worry about "triggers".

So there ya go. I've got my hands on comfort. I might not be wrapped up in it just yet, but I at least have an idea of what it feels like.

Living free and loving it,
Amy--Bronze!!!
103 days without the monkey on my back
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MamaSunfield
MamaSunfield

April 17th, 2005, 8:32 am #5

Yes! Beautiful thoughts... great posts! Thank you for inspiring me!

What is comfort to me? Just today, I was visiting a friend and they asked me if I still craved smoking. I'm almost 10 months quit.

The answer, "No way! I never crave smoking! I will never smoke again. I can't. One puff, and I could be an addict again. I can not smoke. And I LOVE it! I LOVE my freedom from nicotine slavery! I have "thought" about smoking, as in, "Oh god, I'm so STRESSED. I can imagine a cigarette tasting so GOOD right now, and just BLOWING the smoke out... sounds nice...." Within nano-seconds of that thought comes the winning thought: "A cig will not make my stress any better. And the TASTE, the TASTE? HELLO!!!! JUNKIE MIND!!!! Just take a few deep breaths of fresh oxygen!!!" Then, what, 15 seconds later, I'm on to the next moment, which is representative of 99.9% of my normal LIFE!!! Life free from nicotine and all those other nasty chemicals.

Comfort is:
Not craving a drug.
Not hiding or lying for a drug.
Not stinking for a drug.
Not subjecting loved ones to toxins.
Not ever wanting to go back to being a slave to nicotine.
Not planning every 2 hour chunk of time around when to have a smoke.

Even more importantly, comfort is:
Enjoying living free.
Living every hour for whatever it may be, without the complication of nicotine.
Being proud of setting a good example for my kids.
Re-discovering my true self.
Knowing that I beat it, and having a marvelous feeling of accomplishment.
Accepting myself for the past and looking forward to a (hopefully) longer future.

Most importantly of all,
Comfort is knowing that I really truly don't NEED a cigarette, and that I will be just fine, in fact much BETTER without it. That's comforting. I never wonder about that!

It's true. It happens. Get there yourself to PROVE it!!!!

Wishing y'all peaceful smoke-free days forever more!
~Tobi
Almost 10 months of freedom
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Georja1952
Georja1952

April 19th, 2005, 12:28 am #6

Comfort is not having the loose around my neck, knowing at any moment my executioner will pull the plank out from under my feet and I will hang for a moment before death knowing that I could have prevented this execution… if I had only quit smoking.

Everyday that I smoked I wondered and worried about what all those chemicals were doing to my body. I couldn't see what was happening, but I knew from the first puff I ever took that I was doing harm to ME. I became a self-inflicting drug addict. Every puff was killing me… but there was no pain, no sign of damage so I continued to feed the addiction, but there was fear every puff, everyday. I knew I should quit, we all knew, because we each had our own executioner standing ready for the signal to begin the slow and painful act of taking our lives. Some may have it easy and die quickly, and some may have to suffer the inflictions on a constant daily routine of torture for months, or years.

"Comfort" is feeling the release of imprisonment and stepping out into freedom from bondage and threat of death. No more! I am done and there is no desires to go back and wait to see when my execution would take place and have my family watch my own self-inflicted pain and suffering, when it could have been prevented.

Take COMFORT in knowing that everyday you remain free of nicotine, and all the other chemicals that are attached, you are the winner… may you live long and comfortable in your new world of Freedom! Simply Never Take Another Puff!

ONWARD… TO COMFORT! WHOO HOO!
Georja
1 Year 1 months 1 week 3 days
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gold osomashi
gold osomashi

April 19th, 2005, 5:32 am #7

great post. comfort is that clean breath which reaches down to the bottom of my lungs! I can feel the difference each week! comfort is trusting that each moment is a wonderous opportunity to return to healing bodies. comfort is believing it is possible. it is also trusting that all the golden achievers here are inspiring reminders of what we will experience at one year in. thanks everyone for the constant encouragement!

mari
7 months, 8 days
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johnnynonic
johnnynonic

April 19th, 2005, 7:00 am #8

Comfort is getting in the car picking up the kids and their friends, driving them all to their various destinations, returning home, getting on with what you were doing earlier and realizing that during all that time you never once thought about smoking or not smoking. :-)
One day at a time
NTAP
JohnnyNoNic
I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 1 Day and 20 hours (22 days). I have saved $99.66 by not ingesting 410 nicotine delivery devices. I have saved 1 Day, 10 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/26/2005 11:00 PM
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tepake
tepake

April 19th, 2005, 11:18 pm #9

Great idea for a topic. When I was a newbie I thought the idea of 'comfort' was pretty vague, but like everyone else here, I took a leap of faith hoping to find it. I certainly knew the meaning of 'discomfort' and 'uncomfortable.'

I think RickRob and Angie have covered it best.

After 150 days I'm right on the edge of comfort myself. I still say to myself "I'm not going to smoke today" when I get up in the morning, but that's more of a ritual than anything. (I'm a man of custom and habit.)

To me comfort means that the struggle is over - I'm barely even aware that I've quit smoking - its just something that I don't do. Just like a don't close my eyes when I cross the street. It may occur to me sometime (really?) but I don't do it.

In fact, I'm starting to find it a little irritating when people now ask me "How's your quit going?" because, to me, it's a done deal. Kind of like asking "How's that unsightly boil you had lanced coming along?" or "How's that old couch you threw out?" Hello! They're gone!

Terry
151 days quit
Hey! That's five months!
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Katielucky
Katielucky

April 20th, 2005, 12:03 am #10

Thanks Rick, for your words of wisdom about that comfort level. For me it is not feeling like I am denying myself something, but knowing I am free from the grips of a deadly addiction. Like you, I love just eating a meal and letting that be enough, not looking for something to replace the cigarette at the end. I love never having to worry if I have enough cigarettes when I go away or how long I can sit at a conference before I have to go smoke. It's actually a relief, like throwing a huge boulder off my back. Comfort Ahhhhhhh Nothin like it!

Katie free for Eight months, three weeks, four days, 13 hours, 3 minutes and 29 seconds. 10741 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,148.68. Life saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 5 minutes.
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CLB119
CLB119

April 20th, 2005, 12:45 am #11

That's one of the greatest posts I've read here. You have given us all something to look forward to. Thank you.

Chris
free and healing 2 months, 28 days!
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Starshinegrl Gold
Starshinegrl Gold

April 27th, 2005, 7:10 pm #12

Hi Richard,

thank you so much for your post and showing us once again what it must be like to feel the level of comfort you have reached. You know we can never hear enough of that.

I have just passed the "5 months" marker and really started thinking about the comfort zone and about complacency a few weeks back. I hope you don't mind but I thought I could add a few of the messages and threads that I read then to get a clearer idea in my head:
I might not be fully there yet ... but I am happy to report that there are longer and looooonger periods of time when I am experiencing it: periods when I don't think about smoking, non-smoking or the comfort / complacency question.
A big turning point for me was when I started trusting myself ( a big  - moment when Marty wrote an entry about Confidence).
Comfort to me also means having realised deep down that
  • I really can do everything I loved doing when I was an active addict and it is so much better doing them without nicotine and
  • I had set out on this truly exciting journey of discovering or re-discovering the real me and as a consequence started to enjoy it, love it ... by doing that I was embracing life: Comfort (can you believe that I did not really see this when I started thinking about the question?)
I also was very impatient at the beginning of my journey and real comfort started coming when I stopped worrying about reaching the comfort zone. I still trust the oldbies and I know it will even get better.
Another thing that came to my mind are clothes that I feel really comfortable in (don't laugh!!): most of them are quite old (takes me ages to feel that way which is probably why I have a hard time buying new things ... I can't imagine them ever being as comfy as the stuff I already have ... but that feeling changes after I've worn them a few times and then they become just as comfy as well), one exception: the bronze boots the shine lady gave to me!! Comfort from the start and no blisters at all!
Thanks also for all the contributions to this thread so far. I'm looking forward to many more entries ... as I said before: we can never hear enough of that!
Gitte
152 days and a bit
Last edited by Starshinegrl Gold on April 30th, 2010, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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CMondragon21170
CMondragon21170

April 28th, 2005, 5:11 am #13

Good idea for a thread.

I think I touched on this in my diary thread-my comfort has come in levels.

I think my first level of comfort came when my lungs relaxed after I quit. That was purely physical, but it was significant in that it cleared my mind too and my breathing was freer and clearer.

I think the next big comfort came when I realized that my quit mattered-it mattered at day one, just like it mattered at day 21 and so on. I didn't have to wait for magical number month X to be considered quit. My quit was real the moment I decided I was no longer going to smoke.

I don't remember all my other comfort moments, but I do know that I had them.

Today at 8 months I have the kind of comfort that I have read the Golds describe. There was a time when I was in awe of their words about comfort. And I get it.

Chevet' - Free and Healing for Eight Months, Six Days, 20 Hours and 27 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 69 Days and 16 Hours, by avoiding the use of 5017 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $1,330.65.

holy cow, that's = to 250 packs of cigarettes!!
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FirmKak Gold1
FirmKak Gold1

April 28th, 2005, 6:42 am #14

I've been out of town a few days, almost missed this thread... I was in a hospital waiting room this morning, reading while I waited. A lady sit down next to me.... she reeked of cigarette smoke...I was so grateful that I didn't smoke anymore.... Comfortable in my skin, just being me without a drug.

Sissy 363 days
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

July 23rd, 2005, 8:09 pm #15

Last Sunday I conducted a quitting seminar at a local college. During my presentations I handle individual cigarettes and even a few full packs bearing some rather amazing addiction warning labels from nations other than the U.S.

I tell those attending that I quit in May 1999, that I've somehow remained beyond the lure of my now arrested dependency for years, that I have not had anything that their everyday dependent minds would consider a crave since December of 2001. The look coming back is one of understandable disbelief.

I cannot fault them as I too never would have thought that the depth and duration of the quiet and calm filling a once three pack-a-day smoker's mind could be so deep or lasting. All debate and chatter ended long long ago.

Maybe it's just that I've seen too much destruction and death these past six years, in being here with our members and working at WhyQuit, to have retained any romantic fixations. Maybe later today or tomorrow I'll crave. But I promise you one thing. During the entire brief encounter this face will wear a warm smile as it will be a long missing reminder of the amazing journey I once made.

Millions of words in Freedom's 265,000 archived member posts but just one guiding principle determining the outcome for all, a principle that will always remain our common bond. No nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff, Dip or Chew!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!

John (Gold x6)
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

January 19th, 2006, 8:45 pm #16

From: Just-Gie-Gold Sent: 4/16/2005 4:22 PM

Remember back to when you were a little kid? You were just fine without cigarettes or nicotine, nor did you likely spend any time thinking about the whole situation. You were able to get excited about things and life, without punctuating the activity with a cigarette. That's how I think of it.




When you reach "comfort" you will find other things to talk and worry about and the days will zip by at the speed that you're accustomed to. People will even tend to forget that you were a smoker, and new people you meet will look at you funny when you tell them you used to smoke.



In fact eventually you'll get so comfortable in your ex-smoker skin you might get so complacent as to believe that you can have one and not get hooked again, because it won't seem like you could ever be a real smoker again....you're too comfortable without them. This is a danger and this is where your education about your nicotine addiction will remain the one thing that keeps you an ex-smoker, because you KNOW the law of addiction and you KNOW that you can't have that one without having them all.




And you know what? You'll be able to accept that, without losing any sleep over it. When a random crave comes, and they sometimes do....even after a year!.. it won't be the all consuming, nerve wracking battle with your addiction and identity that it may be now. It'll be more like a flickering thought...kinda like...."Gee that smoke looks good....um....ew....look, there's smoke coming out of her nose...maybe not" Crave over.




That's the best way I can think of to describe it, and trust me when I say to anyone struggling in the beginning of a quit, you may not be able to envision this "comfort" right now but you don't have to. Just worry about today, and resolve to get through today smoke-free. I remember what a leap of faith it is when you start out on this journey, and in this day and age of get rich quick schemes, and instant weight loss pills I think it's natural to be pretty skeptical. But hey, consider this....Freedom is free and there's no member here that has any financial motivation to give you false promises. We know how it is, because we've been there and done it. And so can you.



Angie - 1 Year 3 Months 3 Days
Last edited by John (Gold) on May 2nd, 2010, 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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bwrots
bwrots

January 19th, 2006, 9:14 pm #17

Great post!! Comfort for me is simply that I have gained control of my life and I'm no longer controled by a drug.

I have been quit for 1 Year, 2 Weeks, 5 Days, 1 hour, 54 minutes and 38 seconds (384 days). I have saved $1,920.39 by not smoking 7,681 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Weeks, 5 Days, 16 hours and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 12/31/2004 6:19 AM
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crissycrost
crissycrost

July 1st, 2006, 10:46 am #18

Thanks Katie for bringing up this thread. What a wealth of inspirtation for us newbies. The posts are all so good. Thanks to Richard for the idea and for starting this.
I really liked this part of Angie's post...
I remember what a leap of faith it is when you start out on this journey, and in this day and age of get rich quick schemes, and instant weight loss pills I think it's natural to be pretty skeptical. But hey, consider this....Freedom is free and there's no member here that has any financial motivation to give you false promises. We know how it is, because we've been there and done it. And so can you.

Christy - Free and Healing for One Month, Three Days, 1 Hour, 43 Minutes and 20 Seconds, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 10 Hours, by avoiding the use of 409 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $102.36. My Quit Date: May 27, 2006 9:00 PM
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MomTo5Girls
MomTo5Girls

July 1st, 2006, 2:15 pm #19

Excellent thread! Katie, thank you for bringing this to the top for those of us who are still in our 'learning' stage.

Kimm - No nicotine in this body for Seventeen Days, 8 Hours and 15 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 260 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $71.60. Date of Quit: 6/13/2006
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Stoic Mohito 2
Stoic Mohito 2

February 7th, 2007, 11:17 pm #20

Wow! This message, really helps!!!

Thank you Richard!

Irene - I have been quit 2 weeks, i day, 14 hours and 17 minutes with a strog wish to NTAP.
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

December 7th, 2007, 8:29 pm #21

Read 'em all and see that to be truly Comfortable and Free all we really need to do is take it one day at a time and remember to NTAP!

No set time frame. Comfort comes when you are ready. It happens when you embrace your decision to reclaim your natural birthright - a freedom to choose. Maybe that's why this process is called recovery.

Joe J Free - very early comfortable with the decision to live as I was meant to be, clean of nicoitne and free to choose what I allow inside of the real me.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

May 6th, 2008, 9:14 am #22

Comfort is the best kept secret about quitting nicotine. After a varying time of physical and mental adjustment - which may contain uncomfortable and/or hard times - the secret is that if one continues to not allow nicotine to enter their bodies then eventually comfort evolves. And it just gets better and better until one day you realize that you are able to live your life without nicotine having ANYthing to do with your life. At that point you just need to remember that you are an ex-smoker and that you just need to never take another puff, dip or chew. It becomes natural. This site gives the education that leads to comfort. Use it. Comfort will arrive. Be patient. Celebrate each day, you're on your way! Congratulations!

Sal
Five years, three months, three weeks, two days, 19 hours, 14 minutes and 27 seconds. 46579 cigarettes not smoked, saving $9,315.65. Life saved: 23 weeks, 17 hours, 35 minutes.
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aryeh36.ffn
aryeh36.ffn

June 16th, 2008, 6:26 am #23

Thank you JoeJ for bringing this thread to the top.
This is gorgeous beautiful stuff

Aryeh
23 days
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hwc5
hwc5

June 16th, 2008, 10:28 am #24

I would say that I have reached "comfort" at the four month mark. I only rarely have any thoughts about smoking and those thoughts are more about being an ex-smoker than urges to smoke again that have to be fought off. For example, a typical nicotine thought now is..."oh, I remember when I always had to have a cigarette while doing this." I haven't seriously considered going to buy a pack of cigarettes since the day I quit. There were, however, some days that I was glad I didn't "find" a pack lying around the house.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

July 26th, 2008, 6:32 am #25

Freedom would not still exist after 8'ish years if comfort were a lie.
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on April 30th, 2010, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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