What is comfort?

What is comfort?

Rickrob53 Gold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

17 Apr 2005, 02:07 #1

It seems as though everybody at one time or another tells a newbie or middlebie about it. We write words of encouragement about it to someone who may be struggling in their quit. We all read about it. But with respect to our recovery from active nicotine addiction, what is comfort?

I offer this thread as a way for those ex-smokers among us, who have truly reached comfort, to describe in their own words what "comfort" is to them. In this way, maybe a newbie or middlebie or someone who is struggling with a quit can get a sense of what this comfort business is all about. We oldbies promise that comfort is coming, well what is it?

(com·fort n 2a: state or feeling of relief… b: contented well being.)

I've reached comfort. I thought I knew what comfort was when I had been quit for six months… turns out that was only a glimpse of the true comfort that was waiting for me. To me, the comfort I am in is living my life everyday where there are no smoking related anxieties whatsoever! None at all! I have no "want" for a cigarette. I have no urges or cravings of any kind, ever! Imagine a state of complete mental calmness… I have that!

I know that someone who is in the beginning of their quit can find it hard to believe that such a state of comfort is possible, so I'll try to explain what this is like for me over the course of my day. Instead of waking up with thoughts of not smoking for the day or wondering if there will be any tough craves, I simply wake up. On my drive to work, instead of seeing the ads for cigarettes at the store and getting an urge to want a smoke, I simply drive to work. At work, instead of feeling antsy because of the time-void of no longer take my trips to the alley to smoke, I simply do my work. When eating lunch, instead of feeling like something will be missing at the end of the meal, I simply enjoy eating my lunch. When getting ready for sleep, instead of worrying if the next day will find my quit a little easier or harder, I simply go to sleep. Day in, day out, I do this all the time. Every now and then I beam with a little pride in what I've done for me by quitting. Pretty boring, huh? Maybe! But utterly comfortable without smoking? ...no wants, no urges, no cravings, no sense of longing, no cluttered thoughts... you can believe it!

If I could trade places with a newbie or middlebie for even a day so that they could feel for themselves the real comfort I am in, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. I know I can't, but I can say this: Anyone who stays true to their resolve and commitment to be quit and to Never Take Another Puff (not one bit of nicotine at all, no matter what), can't stop their own comfort from coming to them!

Richard (Gold)

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:12

17 Apr 2005, 03:02 #2

Hey Rick...Thanks so much for your post. I'm at 3 1/2 months now and I can't wait for that comfort to come....I know I've got to do the journey...and I accept that....but you do wonder what that comfort is...To me it's never having a desire to smoke no matter what you are doing....to stop wondering if I'm ever going to get there....mayby everyone thinks this way...I don't know but I wonder....am I every going to feel this way.??...All I can do at this point is believe all the oldbies that keep saying..."it gets better and better" I know I'm now not in a constant struggle, and cigarettes are not on my mind too often....maybe this is the beginning....I sure hope so....I just go day to day saying I will not smoke today!! Again thanks.....I'll take boring any day to this internal dialogue arguing...I will win over my executive reminder....Soon he will be reminding me of things that I want to remember....Looking sooo forward to total comfort!!

Pam :) 107 days nic free and lovin' it

Just Gie Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

17 Apr 2005, 04:22 #3

Remember back to when you were a little kid? You were just fine without cigarettes or nicotine, nor did you likely spend any time thinking about the whole situation. You were able to get excited about things and life, without punctuating the activity with a cigarette. That's how I think of it.

When you reach "comfort" you will find other things to talk and worry about and the days will zip by at the speed that you're accustomed to. People will even tend to forget that you were a smoker, and new people you meet will look at you funny when you tell them you used to smoke.

In fact eventually you'll get so comfortable in your ex-smoker skin you might get so complacent as to believe that you can have one and not get hooked again, because it won't seem like you could ever be a real smoker again....you're too comfortable without them. This is a danger and this is where your education about your nicotine addiction will remain the one thing that keeps you an ex-smoker, because you KNOW the law of addiction and you KNOW that you can't have that one without having them all.

And you know what? You'll be able to accept that, without losing any sleep over it. When a random crave comes, and they sometimes do....even after a year!.. it won't be the all consuming, nerve wracking battle with your addiction and identity that it may be now. It'll be more like a flickering thought...kinda like...."Gee that smoke looks good....um....ew....look, there's smoke coming out of her nose...maybe not" Crave over.

That's the best way I can think of to describe it, and trust me when I say to anyone struggling in the beginning of a quit, you may not be able to envision this "comfort" right now but you don't have to. Just worry about today, and resolve to get through today smoke-free. I remember what a leap of faith it is when you start out on this journey, and in this day and age of get rich quick schemes, and instant weight loss pills I think it's natural to be pretty skeptical. But hey, consider this....Freedom is free and there's no member here that has any financial motivation to give you false promises. We know how it is, because we've been there and done it. And so can you.

Angie - 1 Year 3 Months 3 Days


Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

17 Apr 2005, 08:03 #4

Well, I suppose I am somewhere between Pam and Rickrob on the comfort scale.

I am nowhere near struggling with this quit. I realize that at 103 days, my quit is pretty new. I do, however, feel like I'm cruising along in the maintenance zone. I don't have to tell myself, "No nicotine today!" when I wake up, because I already know I'm not going to have any nicotine, duh!

I don't mourn the loss of my "friend". It was never my friend!

Yes, I have "bad days", but not because of smoking cessation. It's because life is just plain stressful sometimes and I can't always control it.

Yep, my quit is downright boring these days, no doubt. But it's boring in a good way, because that means it's become as natural as...well, breathing! I love that.

There are forthcoming events that I have not yet faced nicotine-free. I don't *have* to "make a plan" for these triggers. I already have my game plan--it's as simple as NTAP. If I don't put nicotine to my lips, light it on fire, and **** it deep into my lungs, then I don't have to worry about "triggers".

So there ya go. I've got my hands on comfort. I might not be wrapped up in it just yet, but I at least have an idea of what it feels like.

Living free and loving it,
103 days without the monkey on my back

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

17 Apr 2005, 08:32 #5

Yes! Beautiful thoughts... great posts! Thank you for inspiring me!

What is comfort to me? Just today, I was visiting a friend and they asked me if I still craved smoking. I'm almost 10 months quit.

The answer, "No way! I never crave smoking! I will never smoke again. I can't. One puff, and I could be an addict again. I can not smoke. And I LOVE it! I LOVE my freedom from nicotine slavery! I have "thought" about smoking, as in, "Oh god, I'm so STRESSED. I can imagine a cigarette tasting so GOOD right now, and just BLOWING the smoke out... sounds nice...." Within nano-seconds of that thought comes the winning thought: "A cig will not make my stress any better. And the TASTE, the TASTE? HELLO!!!! JUNKIE MIND!!!! Just take a few deep breaths of fresh oxygen!!!" Then, what, 15 seconds later, I'm on to the next moment, which is representative of 99.9% of my normal LIFE!!! Life free from nicotine and all those other nasty chemicals.

Comfort is:
Not craving a drug.
Not hiding or lying for a drug.
Not stinking for a drug.
Not subjecting loved ones to toxins.
Not ever wanting to go back to being a slave to nicotine.
Not planning every 2 hour chunk of time around when to have a smoke.

Even more importantly, comfort is:
Enjoying living free.
Living every hour for whatever it may be, without the complication of nicotine.
Being proud of setting a good example for my kids.
Re-discovering my true self.
Knowing that I beat it, and having a marvelous feeling of accomplishment.
Accepting myself for the past and looking forward to a (hopefully) longer future.

Most importantly of all,
Comfort is knowing that I really truly don't NEED a cigarette, and that I will be just fine, in fact much BETTER without it. That's comforting. I never wonder about that!

It's true. It happens. Get there yourself to PROVE it!!!!

Wishing y'all peaceful smoke-free days forever more!
Almost 10 months of freedom

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

19 Apr 2005, 00:28 #6

Comfort is not having the loose around my neck, knowing at any moment my executioner will pull the plank out from under my feet and I will hang for a moment before death knowing that I could have prevented this execution… if I had only quit smoking.

Everyday that I smoked I wondered and worried about what all those chemicals were doing to my body. I couldn't see what was happening, but I knew from the first puff I ever took that I was doing harm to ME. I became a self-inflicting drug addict. Every puff was killing me… but there was no pain, no sign of damage so I continued to feed the addiction, but there was fear every puff, everyday. I knew I should quit, we all knew, because we each had our own executioner standing ready for the signal to begin the slow and painful act of taking our lives. Some may have it easy and die quickly, and some may have to suffer the inflictions on a constant daily routine of torture for months, or years.

"Comfort" is feeling the release of imprisonment and stepping out into freedom from bondage and threat of death. No more! I am done and there is no desires to go back and wait to see when my execution would take place and have my family watch my own self-inflicted pain and suffering, when it could have been prevented.

Take COMFORT in knowing that everyday you remain free of nicotine, and all the other chemicals that are attached, you are the winner… may you live long and comfortable in your new world of Freedom! Simply Never Take Another Puff!

1 Year 1 months 1 week 3 days

gold osomashi
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

19 Apr 2005, 05:32 #7

great post. comfort is that clean breath which reaches down to the bottom of my lungs! I can feel the difference each week! comfort is trusting that each moment is a wonderous opportunity to return to healing bodies. comfort is believing it is possible. it is also trusting that all the golden achievers here are inspiring reminders of what we will experience at one year in. thanks everyone for the constant encouragement!

7 months, 8 days

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

19 Apr 2005, 07:00 #8

Comfort is getting in the car picking up the kids and their friends, driving them all to their various destinations, returning home, getting on with what you were doing earlier and realizing that during all that time you never once thought about smoking or not smoking. :-)
One day at a time
I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 1 Day and 20 hours (22 days). I have saved $99.66 by not ingesting 410 nicotine delivery devices. I have saved 1 Day, 10 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/26/2005 11:00 PM

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:10

19 Apr 2005, 23:18 #9

Great idea for a topic. When I was a newbie I thought the idea of 'comfort' was pretty vague, but like everyone else here, I took a leap of faith hoping to find it. I certainly knew the meaning of 'discomfort' and 'uncomfortable.'

I think RickRob and Angie have covered it best.

After 150 days I'm right on the edge of comfort myself. I still say to myself "I'm not going to smoke today" when I get up in the morning, but that's more of a ritual than anything. (I'm a man of custom and habit.)

To me comfort means that the struggle is over - I'm barely even aware that I've quit smoking - its just something that I don't do. Just like a don't close my eyes when I cross the street. It may occur to me sometime (really?) but I don't do it.

In fact, I'm starting to find it a little irritating when people now ask me "How's your quit going?" because, to me, it's a done deal. Kind of like asking "How's that unsightly boil you had lanced coming along?" or "How's that old couch you threw out?" Hello! They're gone!

151 days quit
Hey! That's five months!

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 Apr 2005, 00:03 #10

Thanks Rick, for your words of wisdom about that comfort level. For me it is not feeling like I am denying myself something, but knowing I am free from the grips of a deadly addiction. Like you, I love just eating a meal and letting that be enough, not looking for something to replace the cigarette at the end. I love never having to worry if I have enough cigarettes when I go away or how long I can sit at a conference before I have to go smoke. It's actually a relief, like throwing a huge boulder off my back. Comfort Ahhhhhhh Nothin like it!

Katie free for Eight months, three weeks, four days, 13 hours, 3 minutes and 29 seconds. 10741 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,148.68. Life saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 5 minutes.