What does my quit mean to me now ?

What does my quit mean to me now ?

marty (gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

31 Jul 2002, 06:37 #1

My 20 month old quit has become totally embedded into my life.

Not smoking is something I think about rather like not shutting my eyes as I cross the road, or not eating food I see in trash cans. Smoking is something I will never be able to bring myself to do ever again. The concept of NEVER TAKING ANOTHER PUFF is so firmly engraved into my brain that I no longer have to work at reminding myself of it.


I am now quite taken aback when someone I haven't seen for a year or so says "Oh, are you still not smoking?" or when I have to fill in a form that has the question "Smoker or non-smoker?". Yes, not smoking is actually a perfectly normal, natural and pleasant way of life. So the fact of being an ex-smoker is frankly boring.

But being a quitter, now that's something different, that's exciting, that still gives me a buzz.

Sometimes I have a really bad day. Everything goes wrong and everyone around me is an idiot and the government is screwing up its foreign policy and bombs are killing people around the world and my taxes are too high and my accountant tells me I'm on the verge of bankruptcy and my internet connection goes haywire and I get a toothache and...... Did you ever have one of those days ? No, probably not, they only happen to me. Well, when I get one of those days I think of my quit and I smile. I remind myself of what I've done for me and I get a warm, happy feeling. My quit cheers me up and the world doesn't seem so bad after all. To be honest, thinking about my children and grandchildren can also have the same effect, but I always think of my quit first.

When I have a good day, throughout the day I never think about smoking, I'm too busy enjoying a life uncluttered by the demands of an old addiction. But on those days, as I go to bed and reflect on the wonderful day I just had, I can't help but be aware of how many things contributed to that day which simply could not have been so enjoyable, or happened at all, if I had been a smoker. There are always plenty of those things, like working out at the gym, staying with my grandchildren for hours to play with them, going for a long walk with my wife, staying in a restaurant and relaxing after a meal, getting on an aeroplane, talking to friends, posting to Freedom.

The thing I am acutely aware of at these times of reflection is the thing I most miss since I quit. The thing I miss is the awful, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I used to get every night when I went to bed, the dread of what I was doing to my body, and the feeling of self-disgust that I wasn't doing what I knew I should do about it. When I smoked, even the best of days was ruined.

But now, the huge emotional boost I get to my self-esteem from knowing that I have now done what I always knew I should, I QUIT, the feeling of pride I still get twenty months later, makes any good day even better.

We often say to people here that your quit will get better and better. But what I'm experiencing is not just "better", it's much more than that. I don't know if what I feel is unique to me, or whether this is what the future holds for all of you. I hope that you'll stay around to find out for yourself.

Marty

NOT A PUFF for one year, eight months, : 10930 cigarettes not smoked saving £2,349.81 : 5 weeks, 2 days added to my life

Last edited by marty (gold) on 01 Aug 2010, 22:22, edited 1 time in total.
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Toast (GOLD )
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

31 Jul 2002, 06:44 #2

Marty, my friend, you rock. Image

Like you, my quit is so much more than just not smoking anymore. From the beginning, my quit has been the new cornerstone of my next level of life. The action of quitting set into motion a ripple of events and changes in myself, my attitudes about myself & my life, my choices that continue to reach out into my future. I couldn't crawl back into my old shell if I tried. I don't fit there anymore.

Thanks for being who you are!

Image Melissa
1 Year 2 Months Free
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Hillbilly(Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

31 Jul 2002, 06:46 #3

Well, Marty old pal, you did it. Thank you. You can explain to the rest of the group what I'm talking about if you like, but know that I appreciate you and this post.

Dave
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DubiouslyDos
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

31 Jul 2002, 07:06 #4

Way to say it Marty! That was so inspiring! We've got great things on the board today. I was particularly affected by what you said today about crawling into bed at night knowing what terrible thing smoking was doing to your body. Even when my lungs hurt to breathe - I was still smoking before this quit. I can not give up and I can not relapse - I may never get another chance. I think that is the worst part of nicotine addiction - or probably any type of addiction - you are working so hard getting the fixes - you "ignore" what you are doing to your body and your health. Sick, sick stuff the junkie thinking....

Dos (Dubious)
9 Weeks 8 Hours and 7 Minutes
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TJOHNgold
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:06

31 Jul 2002, 07:07 #5

Thanks for the great post Marty and Melissa. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I keep thinking I'm going in the same direction as you are, but I'm still thinking about those **** killers. Now that I can taste and smell again, the problem is I can almost taste and smell that cigarette for real! I know I can't ever have one, and I know logic tells me that is will get better and better, but right now it really isn't. I'm not afraid of relapsing in the bit...just my sanity is all. I just can't imagine going a year, and thinking about it like I am now. I mean, I know I won't be. I know I will be tempted now and then even when I'm at your stage, but not like this. But I can tell you, I don't care if I have to be committed to a mental hospital, I'd rather do that then take another puff! (or another 15,000 cigarettes or so a year would be more like it). Well, I'm getting ready to go do some laps at the pool (something I had given up). I love it, but it actually has been a trigger ( I started yesterday). When I'm done I'm feeling so good that I want one. Same thing with lifting weights , which I also started up again. It's like I love the new me and I fear the new me.Everything in life is right there in front of your face...no more smoking 10 cigarettes to divert the moment. I'm just a bit freaking out, because I thought by now I wouldn't be thinking about it all, but I can be just sitting there doing nothing and that fantasy starts to appear. Like I said in my original post, I think just breathing is a trigger for me!!! Again, thanks for the post, because I feel that even the most addicted among us don't think about it all the time with the passage of time.
Thanks, T-John
I have chosen not to smoke for 3 Weeks 1 Day 14 Hours 51 Minutes 44 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 904. Money saved: $158.33.
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richard This is It GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

31 Jul 2002, 07:54 #6

Howay hay way, Marty (I'm sure Naymor'll be along soon to correct my diction)Image


Seems like you have this quitting malarky totally under control and are enjoying it immensely.

Me, I'm way behind you in your quit..... but have experienced some of what you say for some time now.... and am enjoying each day my quit develops a little further.


I just wanted to say:

YOU GO GIRL !!!



You're such a great asset to Freedom.....
Now, I'm off... before that Roger comes on talkin' 'bout "comfortability" 'an all that stuff....Image

-richard
20 weeks freedom from tobacco.... loving it.... and looking forward to more....
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

31 Jul 2002, 09:44 #7

Far better than topped and tailed Cuthbert! I wore a smile, up into my eyes, Image ears, and nose throughout! Fantastic! No matter how bad life gets we'll always have the real "us" to cheer us on and up! Thanks Marty and thanks to David too for giving him that little brotherly push John : )
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Nora (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

31 Jul 2002, 09:48 #8

Marty....very well put. As always, you hit the nail right on the head. Each of our quits are unique to us. Isn't it wonderful?

I really and truly hope each quitter here gives themselves the chance to experience what is ahead when they never take another puff.

T John....you are doing wonderfully in your 3 weeks+. There will be a day soon when you will realize that you got through the day without thinking about cigarettes.

Nora
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BillW Gold.ffn
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

31 Jul 2002, 10:08 #9

Great post, Marty!

TJohn.....at three weeks you probably still have to take us on faith when we say "It will get better". Its one of the three mantras here:
NTAP!
IWGB!
ODAAT!
(solutions will be posted tomorrow....)
I had to take Marty et al on faith too, for a while. For most, the "while" is a little longer. Hang in there, and remember
NTAP!
IWGB!
ODAAT!
BillW Five months, three weeks, one day, 13 hours, 7 minutes and 40 seconds. 5176 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,022.09. Life saved: 2 weeks, 3 days, 23 hours, 20 minutes.
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janetd (GOLD)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

31 Jul 2002, 10:14 #10

Hi Marty,

I love this post. I feel the same way but I'm quite a bit behind you, Marty! I love my new life, and I can't even believe that the possibility exists that it will get even better. But that's exactly what keeps happening.

I felt comfort at three months, and even greater comfort at six. Now I'm at eight plus months, and I am having the time of my life.

Our lives are precious, and we need to live them to the fullest extent within reason. Quitting smoking has enabled that. I never thought I would feel this way as a result of quitting. It's a wonderful surprise.

yqs, Janet Image
8+ months
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