“Boy, do I miss smoking!”

March 10th, 2001, 9:20 am#1

Joel's Reinforcement Library




"Boy, do I miss smoking!"
If you say it often enough you really start to believe it. But would life be different if you smoked again? You bet it would. From the moment you awake to the time you go to sleep, life would never again be the same.
Once again you have to smoke as soon as you wake up just to have the strength and energy to drag yourself out of bed. You cough up some of that phlegm in your lungs and get a drink of water for that horribly dry throat. You have a lousy taste in your mouth and a slight headache. But none of this concerns you since you feel this way every morning. Funny though, if you think back to your ex-smoking days, you used to wake up feeling clean, healthy and refreshed.
You start to dress and get ready for work. Fifteen minutes go by so you smoke a cigarette or two. At breakfast the food sure tastes bland. Better add some salt and pepper to those eggs. Coffee sure seems weak today, no smell or taste to it. Better brew it longer next time. When you were an ex-smoker things smelled and tasted so good.
You realize you had better start moving faster since you are already behind schedule. Where does the time go? When you were not smoking you seemed to have so much more time in the morning. Better hurry or you will be late for work again.
The inside windshield sure seems dirty. It is kind of surprising since you just cleaned it three weeks ago. Better try to scrape that brown film off over the weekend. No wonder the kids are always complaining about the smell in the car. Remember when you were an ex-smoker and you cleaned your inside windshield about every six months.
You just hate driving during rush hours. Its forty-five minutes of pure frustration. Three or four cigarettes between home and work. But it sure is better than taking that train where you can't smoke at all. Near the end of these trips you sit with an unlit cigarette hanging out of your mouth, a lighter in your hand. When the train finally stops you push your way out to light the cigarette as fast as you can. When you were an ex-smoker and you drove or took the train you didn't even think of a cigarette.
You are really late now. You run half a block from the parking lot to your office. You start wheezing and coughing. You can't catch your breath and your heart feels like it is going to explode out of your chest. Funny, when you were an ex-smoker a little run like that wouldn't even make you perspire.
At work the phone just doesn't stop ringing. You almost don't have time to smoke. But you know you will make time to smoke at least three an hour. In fact, with that hour-long staff meeting where you are not allowed to smoke coming up, you had better smoke a few extra. You don't want another episode like last week where the boss asked you some difficult questions and all you could think about was when could you get a cigarette. Sure was simpler when you were an ex-smoker.
Rush hour going home is just as bad as going to work. You should stop and get cigarettes, you might not have enough to get through until tomorrow. Another couple of dollars down the drain.
Well, you are finally home. You had better smoke while getting ready for dinner since your kids won't let you smoke at the table. Another half a pack or so before going to bed. You sure are tired. I bet you feel like you smoked too much today. As you doze off your last thought for the day is, "Boy, do I miss not smoking." Consider what life was really like as a smoker. Remember all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
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March 10th, 2001, 9:51 am#2

Joel, this thread makes me glad I have been keeping a journal. Of course being the blue-blood nit-picking true to form Virgo I am I have always kept a journal, love to go back and recapture the wonderful and sometimes not too wonderful moments of my life. I found a lot as in many, many entries I had made where I made reference to a smoking situation, many, many entries I had made where I wanted to quit smoking. One of my favorite is January 18th: " Yesterday I almost froze to death in the freezing cold rain while outside on the porch smoking a cigarette. Yesterday I quit smoking." Joel, I pray to God I never forget what it was like to be a smoker. I hope the day(s) come when I never think about a cigarette, but when I do I hope the memory of the day I stood outside in the freezing cold is as vivid as if I were doing it now. As for "Boy, do I miss smoking!" NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a million years. yqs @ 1m, 3w, 2d, 10h, 54m, 5s,1543NS, $254.70 S, ls 5D, 8H, 35M, and counting.
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April 7th, 2001, 7:12 pm#3




July 23, 2013: Hijacked post to add in new video related to this string.
Last edited by Joel on July 23rd, 2013, 2:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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April 7th, 2001, 10:35 pm#4

Sometimes when I'm sitting here at the computer and going through the message board the thought does cross my mind of, boy do I miss smoking. So I keep reading and if I look out my window onto the street there usually is someone outside of an office lighting up and freezing. Same guy comes out every day, same time. I used to think, would that ever be nice to have one, too but lately after being with Freedom and not smoking for 8 days, i've been watching the poor guy outside in the laneway and thinking, you are a slave and you don't have to be. I'm not a slave to it anymore. Funny how the two activities - my online support group and the smoker outside my window intersect all the time!
Diana
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April 26th, 2001, 8:45 pm#5

Marty's post, "So this is non-smoking life? WOW"[/size] was so good today. He focused on really remembering his life as a smoker and how much better that his life is now. Marty did it in a way of focusing on the positive side of not smoking; this one is a little more on the negative side of smoking. Together both articles add up to a pretty accurate depiction of the life of a smoker compared to the life of an ex-smoker, but Marty's really shows the more important sides of the issue.
I am attaching this post here so that Marty's is always accessible when I bring this string up. It really is an important string and I hope it comes back often to help all our members to always remember to never take another puff!
Joel
Last edited by Joel on April 13th, 2009, 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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April 26th, 2001, 10:22 pm#6

Joel thanks for bringing that article up...I was just doing some junkie thinking yesterday, and really struggling with the thought that I really miss smoking...Today now that I'm clear headed and reinforced with my quit, I realize the only thing I miss since I'm an ex-smoker is the fact that on my breaks I still can't sit comfortably with my friends who still choose to smoke...the first day that I sat with them, it was fairly easy, I just kept thinking how much they were not enjoying their cigs...but then yesterday while I was sitting with them NICODEMON took over and started to put into my mind that I really miss smoking...and if only I could have just one cig I would be okay....Yes right I would be okay alright, (with Nicodemon) that is, but not with me, I would feel so bad for not keeping my promise to myself...not to mention I would be wishing that I didn't smoke anymore...I'LL NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the education that you all provide here at freedom
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April 27th, 2001, 4:03 pm#7

What is there to miss? The addiction itself, the health issue from the addiction, the expense, the smell, the lack of places to smoke, , the this, the that? I don't think so. I prefer being on this side of the addiction and plan on staying here. I am free and loving every smoke free moment and I absolutely, positively will NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF. 3m, 1w, 2d, and counting. Antonia
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April 27th, 2001, 7:39 pm#8

The bit about making time for cigarettes at work reminded me of something: at work I get a lot of opportunity to watch smokers and their routines. One lady a few nights ago, on a 12 hrs shift, due to someone elses sickness had to do all the work normally done by two people. It was also an exceptionally busy night. Of course andy person in those circumstances need to take breaks, just to clear their mind of work issues for a few minutes. But she rushed off to the smoking area about every 20-30 minutes, leaving lots of phone lines ringing for long periods, being already stressed about the extra workload, she now stressed herself and people around her even more my caving to continually catch up with her tasks.

And also, re the smell issue in the other thread: most smokers stink and you notice when talking to them. But this lady I could smell every time she walked back into the office (my desk to door about 20ft).

Enjoyment? I don't think so.

I NEVER want to take another puff, so I never have to be like that again.

Heike
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June 6th, 2001, 5:01 pm#9

For anyone posting on the board or saying to themselves that they miss smoking:

Say "Boy do I miss smoking" long enough and you will start to really believe it. Start to believe it and you will be primed for a relapse. Then you very likely will sit for months, years, and quite possibly decades thinking to your self, "Boy, I should have stayed off smoking while I had the chance." It will likely even get to the point when you are either totally debilitated or diagnosed with an illness that will can cause such suffering and pain that death will be a welcome relief. Then you will really curse the day you relapse. So will your survivors.

Everyone who is here and off smoking now has given him or herself the best chance at quality life that he or she ever will. But each person here is also the only one who can take away his or her Freedom.

For those of you spending time posting and thinking about how much you miss your smoking life, take some time out of your busy schedule of dwelling on smoking and do a little research and soul searching. As long as you are spending so much time fantasizing about smoking, spend a fraction of the time really considering long-term smoking and its consequences and you will be fine.

Go spend some time at the Wall of Remembrance and reread other areas at www.whyquit.com. Go back to your original posts here and see why you quit in the first place. Go visit the graves or go find some photos of some of your lost family members and friends who you know died prematurely from smoking and ask yourself if you think at the end of their lives that they were happy they smoked. Go ask their survivors if they now at least have a sense of peace or happiness that even though their loved ones were crippled and died early, they are "happy" that at least they know they had such a better quality of life and had so much more fun that they are glad in retrospect that their lost ones never quit smoking. See if they think to themselves that they hope that now they can teach their children to take up smoking so that they too can have so much more fun throughout life even though they know that they have to die for it.

If you can pull all this off and make yourself believe that smoking is worth it then smoking is right for you. Also a career in marketing for a tobacco industry or just being a drug pusher will suit you too. You will have proven that you have the talent it needs to pull the wool over anyone's eyes, especially your own. But if you can't honestly look into a child's face and tell them you hope they take up smoking one day, that no matter how dangerous it is the fun it will generate is worth dying for, well if you can't do that then stop telling it to the child in you. Tell yourself you want to live and recognize that life is really more fun the longer you can breathe. Tell yourself you are bound and determined that no matter who around you is going to continue to self-destruct, your personal choice for you is to never take another puff!

Joel
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July 24th, 2001, 5:19 pm#10

For Lynus:

Make sure to read all the posts in this string. You have to stop fantasizing about how nice it would be to have a cigarette and really focus on what it was truly like to be a smoker. Not smoking will never be as good as the fantasy of smoking, but smoking will be a real nightmare compared to the fantasy life you are likely making up around smoking. See cigarettes for what they were and what they were doing and you will never question your initial decision to never take another puff!

Joel
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July 25th, 2001, 1:12 am#11

Thanks Joel - really need this reinforcement today. I was actually letting myself think that if I still smoked I would eat less and thus not have put on this weight. Although I am working out and eating right, these pounds keep creeping up on me ever so slowly. Reading this article helped me realize I never had time to eat before because I was always too concerned about getting my fix. It reminded of how smoking completely controlled my daily schedule and all activities. I am free of that now. Thanks!
Breathing Easier, back in focus, 2 months, 4 days.
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December 6th, 2001, 2:40 am#12

About the "weight" thing: I gained 40 pounds when I quit the last time. I got so tired of being fat that I started smoking again (for 7 more years, 22,000 sickerettes). So there I was, smoking again and STILL 40 pounds heavier. Translation, I didn't lose weight once I started smoking again, and instead renewed my addiction. I have quit FOR THE LAST TIME, chubby or not!!
Haven't take ONE PUFF for 3weeks, 5days, 12hours! *Candy*
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December 31st, 2001, 1:42 am#13

Geeeze Joel, thanks! Being two plus years removed from thirty years of dependency and the need to **** down sixty nico-fixes a day, I'd almost forgot about:
  • Needing a fix upon waking
  • The cough and nasty phlegm
  • The dry throat.
  • Lousy taste in my mouth
  • The slight headaches
  • The dead taste buds
  • Including the tasteless coffee
  • All the time I lost treating my addiction
  • The dirty film on the inside of the windshield
  • The smell of a smoker's car
  • The ash everywhere
  • Keeping up with my nico-feeding tools
  • Those last second juice-up fixes
  • The inbetween nico-fixes
Yep, I'll NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OF NICOTINE!
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March 3rd, 2004, 2:50 am#15

I say that all the time. I'm 16 days into my quit, and say it a lot. However, I won't allow myself to fall back into nicodemon's grip. It's a memory. Something I used to have, but have no longer. Like a favorite stuffed animal. I'd say, "Boy, I miss my polka-dotted hippo." and I'd sigh that sigh of rememberance and move on. I'll admit for that for 1/2 a second, I'll look upon my memory as a happy one remembering the buzz after the first inhale...but it is not a happy one. It is a dangerous trigger and evil memory that I will not allow myself to invest in ever again. I know that this is a one day at a time addiction. I know that since I'm new, I will have to look at my addiction every day and will have to reject it every day. The cravings will ease, the sense of loss will lessen. But I will always remember what it was like. It's just a fact. And I will still miss it, but I will NTAP anyway.

J
Last edited by Jahunta on April 13th, 2009, 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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March 3rd, 2004, 10:03 am#16


I have not smoked for 41 days. I'm Green. I'm getting ready to travel across the country to visit my mother who last year survived her second valve replacement within 7 years. My mother has been a smoker for the 41 years I've known her. She admitted to having a cigg not to long ago. EEEK.




I'm in trigger central let me tell you and the nasty thing is, I seem to think I miss smoking because I'm going through all the motions of planning a somewhat stressful trip, (family) which I haven't done for a while and my mind is just gravitating to missing smoking and it's really bothering me. I know it's all the trigger, I just know it. I've been leaning on my crutches a little more, but mostly, I've been coming here to read. I know the posts are great but really, it's Joel's Library that gets me through times like this. Thanks for bringing this post up...it's perfect. This is where I need to be. Give my head a shake, thanks.


 No Thanks...
Butterflies:
Nic free for 41 days...junkie alive and well.
Last edited by ButterfliesareSilver on June 14th, 2010, 12:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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March 3rd, 2004, 10:40 am#17

Our junky side doesn't fight fair, and uses confusing logic. It plays upon the parts of us that feel most vulnerable. The parts of us that want to hide and wish things away. You can eliminate the fear, and silence the voice by always looking it in the eye, seeing it for what it is, and never letting it get away without shedding the light of truth upon it.
From Monster under the bed
Sal
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on April 13th, 2009, 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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March 21st, 2004, 8:54 pm#18

Why some people may feel depressed after a month or longer after quitting. If a person thinks to him or herself how much he or she misses smoking, he or she is likely going to feel deprived of cigarettes and possibly depressed from the deprivation. The fact is though when a person quits smoking he or she is not depriving himself or herself of a cigarette, he or she is ridding himself or herself of smoking--meaning of having to smoke all of the cigarettes he or she smoked on a daily basis and of all of the problems and consequences that goes along wity all of those cigarettes. Most feel that there were some good cigarettes at the end, but there were a whole lot more rotten cigarettes and meaningless or empty cigarettes that had to accompany the good ones. The fact is, all of the cigarettes, the rotten ones, the insignificant ones and even the good ones were destroying the person and over time was probably going to kill the person. To keep yourself happily free always remember why you first committed and are still committed to never take another puff!
Joel
Related readings:
Fixating on a cigarette
I want one ...
Just one little puff?
Just one or two
Last edited by Joel on April 13th, 2009, 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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April 7th, 2004, 1:39 am#19

I read this article for the first time about a month ago and it has helped me maintain my quit better than anything else. Just last week I was having a tough time with work and family when an oppertunity arose to have a cigarette. I thought to myself then and several times afterwards that one cigarette wouldn't hurt, and maybe it will help me to stop thinking about smoking so much. But we all know it doesn't work that way. Right now, on a really bad day I may think about smoking once or twice. When I was a smoker, I thought about smoking constantly. This revelation made me smile. How can I be unhappy because I still think about cigarettes on occassion when I used to be absorbed by the thought of smoking just about every moment of every day. Crazy stuff. I like this option much better.

Smoke Free 2 Months +
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April 7th, 2004, 1:44 am#20

Wow, yes - it just struck me on reading that - I think about smoking a couple of times a day now - and can get over those times easily - but I used to think about it most of the day - where, when, how the next fix!
It's so much easier being a non smoker.
I will never take another puff. I don't want my life ruined any longer.
Marion
I've been quit for 27 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 27 seconds (28 days).
I've not smoked 416 death sticks, and saved £93.73.
I've saved 1 day(s), 11 hour(s) of my life.
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October 5th, 2004, 10:59 pm#21

"Boy, do I miss smoking!" This is exactly how I've been feeling for the last couple of days. Reading this helped me remember what it is REALLY like as an active nicotine user. Thanks Joel, and Jason for bringing it to attention. Peace will come as long as I NTAP.

Idona-Free and Healing 1 month 1 week, 2 days, 19 hours.
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January 16th, 2005, 12:42 pm#23

Joel, How did you know! Your story had me pegged exactly as I was. I can not believe you wrote about me! Thank God you did! I love you for it! I am ready for a game of Rumoli in my non-smoking dining room (house) with all my smoker friends. And they have agreed to go outside for a smoke and I agreed to come read my new mail and more stories while they go outside and continue to kill themselves.
Thanks Joel
Karla
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April 28th, 2005, 4:09 pm#24

Thank you, thank you Joel for bubbling up these pearls of learning and wisdom:
Why do some people feel depressed after a month or longer after quitting? If a person thinks to him or herself how much he or she misses smoking, he or she is likely going to feel deprived of cigarettes and possibly depressed from the deprivation.
This message was so important for me to see again right now. I am in that state of desire for smoking....not thinking one, two or occasional, but full-blown smoking. Everyday is still a struggle and "One Day At A Time" is my near constant motto. I know it will be fine but it sure is hard. My saving grace is that when I think about smoking again, and I think about how hard still is after 3 months, i know I do not want to start over!
Lynn
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June 8th, 2005, 11:34 am#25


Once again you have to smoke as soon as you wake up just to have the strength and energy to drag yourself out of bed. You cough up some of that phlegm in your lungs and get a drink of water for that horribly dry throat. You have a lousy taste in your mouth and a slight headache. But none of this concerns you since you feel this way every morning.

Not anymore baby, and never again, as long as I never take another puff!

Joseph - 237 days
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