How do I deal with....


February 1st, 2007, 9:04 pm#1

I originally had the following text in the string Dealing with a personal crisis on the board.  

That string was dealing with attention seeking posts, but there are times where a person will want turn to our member for help on other issues not because they are seeking attention but rather because they figured that since we were able to help them with one major problem, quitting smoking, that we then are also equipped to helping with others. This is not the case though.

Asking how to deal with issues that are not quitting related are likely to result in many people coming up with many different thoughts and different pieces of advice. Some may be sound, others may not and there is no way for us to siphon out the good advice from the bad. What is the right approach for one person in dealing with a specific problem may not be the right approach for another person. That is why our standard reply for dealing with other life issues is to find professional help that is seeing you as an individual, soimeone who has your whole story and training in dealing with the problem you are encountering. Again, the following comments from the string Dealing with a personal crisis on the board. addresses this issue:

A quit smoking site is not the place to solve major life traumas. A quit smoking site may be the best site to deal with smoking, depending on the site, and there may be some other specialized sites that are helpful in dealing with other traumas too, but often people on an Internet sites may not have the best training or understanding or be the best prepared for dealing with the specific problem at hand. You may find people who really want to help but who may not in fact be the best people to deal with the problem you are facing.

If a member encounters real life tragedies they should seek help from professionals. Who would you call if your car breaks down? Would you call a friend who has no particular knowledge of car repairs and whose own car is currently broken down too. This person cannot help you fix your car and cannot even at this point in time offer you a ride. If your car breaks down you call a mechanic. If your computer suddenly dies you don't call a friend whose computer also died and has not been able to get it going again. If your home plumbing explodes you don't get right on the Internet and waste time chatting on a bulletin board about how bad everything smells without first calling a plumber to actually fix the problem. If your house all of sudden starts on fire you don't go to the Internet and compare notes with others who may have lived through a fire experience--you call the fire department. If someone breaks into your home while you are still there you don't go to the Internet to talk out your fears. You either call the police or try to escape from your home. If you are experiencing sudden chest pains or maybe all of a sudden lose vision in one eye you shouldn't spend time looking up symptoms on the Internet or chatting with others who may have had a similar experience at one time, you call for paramedics.

If something emotionally big is happening in your life and you find yourself spinning out or control you need to seek professional help too. It may mean calling your doctor, a professionally sanctioned crisis hotline in your town who can offer real live support, going to a local emergency room, calling 911 or what ever emergency number is set up in your area by local authorities, depending on the severity of the problem and how fast you can get action.

This list could have gone on but hopefully everyone gets the point here. If you ever find yourself in a medical or psychological crisis seek professional assistance, meaning, seek a professional in the arena of the specific problem you are encountering.

Again, depending on the problem you are facing there are professionals who can help. There are professional mechanics, plumbers, firemen, police, paramedics, crisis counselors, psychologists and physicians. Deal with emergencies head on when they occur. At the same time stay focused on the fact that whatever the problem, taking a cigarette will not help it.

Once you have dealt with the crisis, and your full attention is not needed to get out of the immediate danger, then is the time to come to a quit smoking site and reinforce your resolve to stay smoke free, either by reading or maybe even posting. Hopefully if you come back in to post, the essence of the post will be saying how you have proved to yourself once again that even under the most extreme of circumstances that you are able to stay smoke free by just sticking to your commitment that no matter what else is going on around you that you still know to never take another puff!

Last edited by Joel on August 9th, 2015, 11:10 am, edited 2 times in total.