John (Gold)
John (Gold)

April 8th, 2005, 7:36 pm #176

Have you ever gone years and years and years buying your nicotine fixes by the pack, instead of the much less expensive carton, only because you dreamed that tomorrow you'd break free? John (Gold x5)
Last edited by John (Gold) on February 21st, 2009, 12:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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joyousAnaisfree
joyousAnaisfree

April 8th, 2005, 10:09 pm #177

have you ever dropped your pack out of a 4 story buidling window, run downstairs, and looked until you found it rather than have to get up the next day without cigerettes, (stores closed) thought nothing of it and could not understand why everyone else thought you were crazy?

I have. Im an addict.

have you ever, as a strugglinig single parent, have credit at local stores for the essentials: milk, diapers,cigerettes?

I have. Im an addict


have you ever made sure you knew who all the smokers were in a setting, who smoked your brand and made sure you made friends with those people (people you didnt even like) just in case ?

I have. Im an addict.


Ana, who is sure shes an addict - free from nicotine Twenty Two Days, 3 Hours and 7 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 12 Hours, by avoiding the use of 443 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $66.45.
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Caryfree45
Caryfree45

April 8th, 2005, 10:25 pm #178

Did you ever learn how to repair a broken cigarette without any tape ?
I was a pro at this one because I spent many years as a closet smoker & would attempt to hide one in a pocket until I could get a few minutes by myself. Frequently by that time it would have broken.

Addicts can be very creative & resouceful. I should know because I am one.

Cary
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joyousAnaisfree
joyousAnaisfree

April 8th, 2005, 11:14 pm #179

Is it those that forget are bound to repeat?
I forget what the saying is.
I know its different for everyone, but for me, I have to remember and I need to look back Again, having said its different for everyone and knowing I realize this I have to say I believe shame is pointless.. I dont want to hide who I am or what I did or who I was. Not from you but most of all, not from me. I cant afford it. I cannot push my junkie actions away until one day I start to think I didnt do those things or couldnt have done those things.
Secrets are powerful. You take your power back by telling. These things dont own me. I own them.
I think thats the point. You know?
Last edited by joyousAnaisfree on February 21st, 2009, 12:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Caryfree45
Caryfree45

April 8th, 2005, 11:24 pm #180

You got it Ana. You speak true. The telling is part of the healing.
Cary
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TsRupe
TsRupe

April 9th, 2005, 1:28 am #181

Have you ever:
  • Bought cigarettes instead of food for your family?
  • Disabled a fire alarm in a public building so you could light up?
  • Smoked despite a family member's respiratory difficulties?
  • Held your infant child while smoking?
I have...because I am an addict. I have endangered myself
and others just to get a fix. Never again. I choose freedom.
NTAP!
Tana
Eleven months, three weeks, four days, 20 hours, 57 minutes and 16 seconds. 14394 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,943.54. Life saved: 7 weeks, 23 hours, 30 minutes.
Last edited by TsRupe on February 21st, 2009, 12:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ElevenPinkFlowers
ElevenPinkFlowers

April 12th, 2005, 9:36 pm #182

Haveyou ever ...

been caught without any cigarettes, without any coins to feed the machine, too late at night to wake a neighbour at the student hall of residence, and got so stuck with the idea of having to smoke ...

that you took a few brown leaves off your pot plant, crushed them, rolled your own and smoked it??

How absolutely stupid I was! But yes: I have, I am an addict, but thank Goodness, I am an educated addict now.
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McClain
McClain

April 12th, 2005, 10:31 pm #183

Have you ever......
Completely embarassed your family by throwing a fit at the hotel clerk because nobody told you that the hotel was all smoke free.
Then on the same trip decided you were going to smoke in your vehicle with your children in it, in the middle of January, in Upper Michigan, so you roll down the window and guess what it..... it stays down!!!!!!! My family had to freeze until we found a garbage bag and duct tape to temp. fix it.
NTAP!!!!!!!!!
Kimberly
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RickD
RickD

April 13th, 2005, 1:33 am #184

Have you ever walked 8 miles home because you didn't have enough money for the subway AND smokes.



Rick
Free for 115 days. Working on day 116
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LeighFree
LeighFree

April 13th, 2005, 2:03 am #185

Have you ever chosen staying home smoking to doing something with a non-smoker boyfriend that you think you're in love with?
Have you ever smoked directly after you got your wisdom teeth pulled out?
Have you ever convinced a friend that quitting is not the right thing to do because you didn't want to face your addiction?

I have because I am an addict.

Jennifer
8 days smoke free
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cherylmcc
cherylmcc

April 13th, 2005, 3:06 am #186

This is my favorite thread without a doubt. I'm double dipping here, but I just remembered another low point for me.

My brother and I once smoked copenhagen out of a bong. Yowza, that'll make you green about the gills. Why? Because we were desperate addicts, of course! We didn't have any cash, but we could find both a bong and some chew that someone had left at the house. Yick.

Steve -- if you're checking in, my selling pants for smokes post can be found at #156 (I think) in this thread. Warning: it's not for the meek.

Cheryl
Nicofree for over 10 months now
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johnnynonic
johnnynonic

April 23rd, 2005, 8:23 am #187

Have you ever laughed out loud because you have done so many of the things in this string to get nicotine? I have because I am a nicotine addict.

Have you hung your head in shame because you have done so many of the things in this string to get nicotine? I have because I am a nicotine addict.

Have you devoted unknown amounts of time and energy to avoid putting yourself in the position of being without nicotine and having to do the things listed in this string? I have because I am a nicotine addict.

Have you stood ouside the hospital smoking as your father died from lung cancer, and then still smked for another ten years? I have because I am a nicotine addict.

I will never have to do these things again, because I am FREE and I shall NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF.

I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 5 Days, 21 hours and 15 minutes (26 days). I have saved $117.35 by not feeding on 483 nicotine delivery devices. I have saved 1 Day, 16 hours and 15 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/26/05 11:00 PM

And I'm glad we didn't have the trade your pants for smokes program in my part of the worldor I'd have frozen off some of my anatomy. ODAT-NTAP
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ocean gold
ocean gold

April 30th, 2005, 12:22 pm #188

Have you ever "checked the mail" in the lobby every night to sneak half a smoke ... while pregnant. Poor me .. I now know I went through withdrawal for 10 months of pregnancy by limiting myself to a couple of smokes a day.
I have. I'm an addict.


Have you ever walked your IV outside the hospital to get a nic fix?
I have. I'm an addict.

Have you ever thought you got away with so many cigs that you now know you didn't because you must have reeked of smoke?
I have. I'm an addict.

Julia

Active addict for 27 years. Broke free 2 months 3 days ago.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

May 25th, 2005, 1:01 am #189

Man leaps from speeding
car in pursuit of a puff
Drunk went out window after cigarette blew away, Ark. police say
The Associated Press
Updated: 11:35 a.m. ET May 24, 2005
FOREMAN, Ark. - A leap of faith proved hazardous for a smoker in need of a cigarette fix after a night on the town.

Jeff Foran suffered trauma to his nose, eyes and chin after jumping from a car traveling 55-60 mph. Authorities said he was trying to retrieve a cigarette blown out of the passenger-side window.

Foran, 38, took the leap Saturday night, state police Trooper Jamie Gravier said.

The driver of the car, Jerry Glenn Nelson, said Foran had asked him earlier in the evening to be a designated driver after a night of drinking.

"Nelson said Foran was smoking a cigarette when it blew out the window and Foran jumped out the window to retrieve the cigarette. Nelson said he was driving between 55 and 60 mph when Foran jumped out," the trooper said.

"Foran did the right thing and asked his buddy to drive him home," Gravier said. "It was obvious he was extremely intoxicated."

Gravier added: "If anything could make him stop smoking, this should be it. The man is lucky to be alive."
© 2005 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved
Thanks to Jill for bringing this story to our attention
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Tanya929
Tanya929

June 17th, 2005, 6:09 am #190

I have done so many of these things also, probably ninety percent. I have never had financial issues, if I had it probably would have been one hundred percent. One of the reasons I gave up smoking, the main reason, was to regain control over my life. Great thread, it shows how much nicotine is an addiction and us addicts are totally out of control. Thanks for reinforcing my quit, It needs constant encouragement!

I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 19 hours, 39 minutes and 6 seconds (9 days). I have saved $103.09 by not smoking 392 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 8 hours and 40 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/6/2005 10:30 PM
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ChristyMay1977
ChristyMay1977

June 20th, 2005, 11:35 am #191

I just read through this entire thread... all 199 postings, and couldn't resist being the 200th, (unless someone squeaks in before I can hit send)

I too related to many of these things that we addicts have done... so here's my 2 cents:

Have you ever climbed up to the top of a really steep hill many times a day to have a cigarette because that's the only place you were 'allowed' to smoke at camp? Then, years later, at that same camp, after lying on the application to be a counsellor
by saying that you don't smoke, have you ever 'volunteered' to 'supervise' the campers while they go for their smoke? Have you ever bummed cigarettes off the campers and then begged them not to tell the camp director that you were smoking too? I have, (and it was a Christian camp)... because I am an addict!

Have you ever taken the pain of going outside for a smoke after having surgery? I have, I found out I was pregnant, and so naturally I quit... only to discover it was ectopic and needed to be removed. Great excuse to relaspe, despite the pain of getting up and down off the couch where I was recovering, I went out for my fix... why the heck not, I wasn't pregnant anymore, and I am an addict!

Have you ever quit smoking, and made yourself cry saying that you were missing your sister (she died in 1997) just so you could justify having a smoke without people thinking you were weak... "i can understand why she needs to smoke, the loss of her sister was terrible" -- true, but now I know there is no excuse to relapse... but I didn't then, I am an addict.

There are so many more, they have all been said. But the reminder of what I was, and where I came from will ensure that I will never go back. I have to say, this is by far my favourite thread, not to mention the most inspirational! I will visit often.

Kisses,
Christy xx

I have been quit for 2 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day, 1 hour, 30 minutes and 50 seconds (69 days). I have saved $357.74 by not smoking 966 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Days, 8 hours and 30 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2005-04-11 10:00 PM
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IrishLotus GOLD
IrishLotus GOLD

August 19th, 2005, 2:38 am #192

An absolute gem...Thanks O'Bob! Try it. I bet you're an addict too!
YQS~
Lotus
Last edited by IrishLotus GOLD on February 21st, 2009, 12:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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GoldenDivamom1972
GoldenDivamom1972

August 19th, 2005, 10:17 am #193

Some more "desparate addict" moments...

Lied to my dad about the smell in my car. "No Dad, I've got friends who smoke..." (mid-summer, 1990)

Lied to the parents *again*. "No! My work partner smokes, not me!" I worked at a gas station by myself, smoking the whole night. (winter 1991)

Quit smoking after developing nasty upper respiratory infection. Smoking during that illness literally made me throw up. Two weeks later, feeling much better after a round of antibiotics, I relapsed. I didn't see it that way at the time, it seemed completely normal. (again, winter 1991)

Huddling with a group of fellow addicts WAAAAY in the back of the factory, outside, in the cold, collectively sneaking our fixes shortly after our company declared the property smoke-free. (1995)

Ducking into the bathroom at work with my fellow addicts, feeding our addiction in a no-smoking zone, telling each other that those "whiny" non-smokers could just take a hike! Even sillier, believing that we were somehow hiding our actions. First clue of failure--you could smell the smoke from 10 feet away, and see it curling under the door at about 5 feet. No joke. (1996-2003)

Borrowed the parents' car for a 90 minute trip during one of my failed quits. I blew this particular quit in the parking lot of a shopping center in Kendallville, IN on my way to meet my parents at the bluegrass festival just down the road. The worst part of this one--practically threatening my young children not to tell my parents about my relapse. I spent the majority of this weekend volunteering for garbage duty (nice long walk to the dumpster--perfect feeding opportunity) and hunching down behind my tent--all for a puff that I now know could be smelled in the next county. (2002)

Was I really this stupid?! No, merely an addict. One that has now been free from the chains of drug addiction for seven months, two weeks, one day, 16 hours, 17 minutes and 8 seconds.

Blessings,
Amy--Silver+Green
227 days
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kattatonic1 gold4
kattatonic1 gold4

August 19th, 2005, 11:10 am #194

Great post here today, Amy (as usual)! It is really amazing to see ourselves and our addictive in this light, from the perspective of Freedom. Keep up that great quit!

YQS Kay (Gold & then some)
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Joanne Gold
Joanne Gold

August 24th, 2005, 11:08 pm #195

Our new member, Bram, explains in his first post how "he had it" after smoking old cigarettes out of ashtrays. I think he'll appreciate the dialogue in this thread.
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ivanochiki007
ivanochiki007

August 24th, 2005, 11:56 pm #196

When my son was still a baby, I sometimes smoked with him on my arms, standing near the wide-opened balcony door. Or I put him in his crib and let him cry, while I quickly ran to the balcony for a cigarette. And it was cold Canadian winter!!

Ivano - very happy to be quit since 140 days
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johnnynonic
johnnynonic

October 16th, 2005, 9:09 pm #197

No, it's not just a "Nasty Little Habit"
Don't forget to hit theFirst button
Last edited by johnnynonic on February 21st, 2009, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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MareBear GOLD
MareBear GOLD

November 24th, 2005, 3:06 am #198

I can't believe I never posted to this thread.
Have you ever...
  • Flicked the ashes of your cigarette out the window and have the head fall off and come in the back window, burning the arm of your best friend's baby who's strapped into his carseat in the back? And both of you laughing about it since you're both smoking at the time?
  • Been sitting at a nice outdoor cafe, waiting for the server to come back with your ashtray, and when she still hasn't returned by the time the cig is burned to the filter, you decide to just drop your cigarette over the balcony to the sidewalk below...only you didn't notice that another patron had tied their dog to the balcony directly below where you're sitting so you burn the poor dog?
  • Tape over the little holes poked in the filter of "light" cigarettes so you'll get more smoke for your buck?
I have. I'm an addict.

But I've been free and healing for 3 Years, 5 Months, 3 Weeks, 5 Days 16 Hours.

I could've paid for my honeymoon with the amount of money I've saved on cigarettes since I quit.

MareBear
Last edited by MareBear GOLD on February 9th, 2009, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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BillW Gold.ffn
BillW Gold.ffn

December 23rd, 2005, 2:47 am #199

For anyone who doubts that nicotine is addictive, and produces addictive behavior..... READ! (and probably see yourself! I did.... ).
I'm already in here, much earlier.....
BillW NOT DOING THIS STUFF FOR: Three years, ten months, two weeks, 42395 cigarettes not smoked, saving $8,373.20. Life saved: 21 weeks, 4 hours, 55 minutes.
Last edited by BillW Gold.ffn on February 9th, 2009, 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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gavula
gavula

December 23rd, 2005, 4:12 am #200

I think I've posted this before, but I used to get blinding migraine headaches- literally could not see. And I had my boyfriend put my robe and jacket on in mid-December and lead me outside to stand in the cold. He lit the cig for me, and leaned my against the side of the house before running inside to wait where it was warm.

Blind and in tremendous pain I smoked because I'm an addict.

Anna
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