I know this thread is really long now - but it is such a good thread, thanks Lotus.
Just something that OBob (a chara) said hit home with me (as usual)...
"It makes it tough, because you feel like you can't just abandon someone seeking help; but if they're not willing to seek it on their own, there has to be some question about the ultimate seriousness with which they're treating their quit. This is about life and death for many of us."
"It's close to my heart at the moment, because I had one of my friends relapse recently after a 6 week quit...."
My mother was in hospital for the first two weeks of January (great way to ring in the new year, eh?). She had an acute asthmatic attack which led to what was diagnosed ominously as "late-stage respiratory failure". She was lucky
in that she came through it ok - but, naturally, she was "ordered" to end her 40 year courtship with cigarettes.
Well, she did not smoke for six weeks. The week after I quit, she started. We used to be smoking buddies, a long time ago. But we don't see each other all too often nowadays. I mentioned that I had quit, but I didn't push my quit philosophies on her. Just made reference to how much better life was shaping up to be without cigarettes, and didn't she find that to be the case too... that kind of thing.
Well she came over two days ago just reeking of cigarettes. I didn't say anything, aside from an offhand remark on how grateful I still am to have quit. It was an uneasy visit, and I felt very sad for her when she left. She stopped by again yesterday, she was uncharacteristically brief and again, she seemed so sheepish. Which just makes me so sad. Though at the same time this also strengthens my resolve that much more.
This IS about life and death for many of us... she almost died two months ago. Five years ago, her husband (my stepfather) did die from nicotine addiction (2-3 packs a day for 30 years). Two weeks after his 58th birthday he had a heart attack (on sweetest day).
So this is close to my heart too. First, because I am two fragile weeks into this new & unfamiliar (& wonderful) way of living. And second, because now that I am learning how to break through the lies and deceptions of my addicted mind - I can see so much more clearly what it is doing to my mother. And there really is nothing I can do about it aside from perhaps being an example, as Bob also pointed out.
Well now, I've got my venting over with too for now - thanks again, folks.
(agus - go raibh maith agat OBob
very glad to proclaim that I have not smoked for 2 weeks 2 days 20 hours & 50 minutes