In all the threads I've seen started at Freedom in the seven months, 6 days, minutes and seconds, six thousand, five-hundred and forty-seven cigarettes I have not smoked, this is one of my favorites. It has been exactly two months since I've replied, and like others, things do continue to change. I'am one of those aggravating people who for some reason think everything has to be analyzed. Why do I do this, why do I do that, what if the sun doesn't come up, what if the sky falls on my head. Well, who knows, who cares. In addition to not lighting up I 'am also learning to lighten up. I have finally come to the realization and acceptance that smoking is no longer an issue in my life. Maintaining my quit is of course but the smoking issue itsself no longer has the ability to take precedence over my other thoughts. For those of you who are unfortunate to be like me you can understand how scary it is to let go of something you have really worked hard at worrying about. Suddenly I find myself functioning in a capacity I like to think is normal, without worrying if nicodemon is going to tackle me to the ground. I find myself walking as tall as anyone who is five foot four can without continually hunching over anticipating a jab from the back from old nic. Like we've all read here, yea, we let go of something, but like everything else in life we've lost, the pain does gradually fade and all we have left is the memory, and it isn't even a fond one.
So here I am seven months later, the sky hasn't fallen on my head and the sun keeps coming up every day. And I am learning to live with the fact that I have really done something worthwhile in my life and that it is a good thing. And of course I still have the occasional thought, good grief, except for breathing in and out there's nothing else I've done for 40+ consecutive years. Just because my smoking habit is gradually fading doesn't mean my memory is. Just as I said in my original post to this thread, I still keep my smoking issue filed away in the 'things not so important to think about' file. However, the lessons I learned here are ever present and available at a moment's notice to draw on, it becomes a natural part of day to day coping skills. I 've learned a valuable lesson here, one certainly not to be forgotten. I love the place in time I live in and I want to continue to have this freedom I have worked so hard for.
Newbies it does in fact get easier and easier. Suddenly you discover you are on auto pilot. Being smoke free becomes a way of life so enjoy it. Let's call it our 'new habit', it is a guaranteed good one.