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very nice. It is good to come back and see these posts. I havnt been posting latly and it is not because I no longer feel the urge. I feel a powerfull pull towards a cig. I know it is wrong and it can kill me, but I still want the feeling back. Alas and alack that love was not meant to be.
Ace - Has been breathing fresh air for Four Months, Three Days, 11 Hours and 22 Minutes, while extending the time with my family for 11 Days and 7 Hours, and not even missing the 3262 little, smelly, stinking devices that would have cost me $459.09.
As Kay shares here, we each conditioned our minds to expect nicotine at certain times, places, locations, events or when encountering certain emotions. As I've heard Joel say more than once, when phones were still tied to cords most of us wouldn't pick it up when it rang without first ensuring that we had our nicotine source handy as we didn't know how long we'd be on it.
It may be little things like ice cubes hitting a glass, our little walk, or subtle distinctions like the weekly paper being a single cigarette read while the Sunday paper was always three. Each trigger encountered means an opportunity to reclaim one additional aspect of our life, to obtain another piece of the puzzle. Soon the pieces start fitting together and before long more of the puzzle is complete than missing.
Unless we insist upon keeping a few pieces in our pocket (those lingering romantic dependency fixations) - with each passing day the challenges will grow fewer, shorter and generally less intense. Fully retrain your EA, complete the puzzle and taste the full flavor of a life where wanting for nicotine becomes the exception not the rule.
This can be one of the most interesting adventures in self discovery that we'll ever make if we'll only stop being afraid and allow ourselves to notice and smell the beauty of the slowly opening rosebud that is us.
John (Gold x6)