The smoking dream

Physical healing of the body and mind
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

07 May 2002, 10:34 #101

Hi Roger,

Maybe it was a full moon - but Marty still has them last time I heard so no end in sight. Once awake I felt, like you, very relieved, but it was very upsetting during the dream. Even while upset that I'd blown my quit I was debating having another cigarette or quitting instantly. (This whole debate is happening in dream, which is taking place somewhere in the West Bank with suicide bombers and snipers and tanks and I had foolishly accepted a fellow refugee's offer of a smoke. Strange how the mind works - I plan to cut down on world news. Not under attack and still free to wear the silver shoes!

yqf Lorraine
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:25

03 Jun 2002, 21:52 #102

Jeez, I just had my first smoking dream since week 3.
It had the usual incongruous set of circumstances. I was out in the smoking area of my old job. The still smoking spouse was there and lit a cigarette and handed it to me. I started smoking and one of the guys I worked with yelled "Hey, I thought you quit!" and ended with my being crushed at having lost my quit and sobbing cause I couldn't come to freedom anymore. What a feeling of relief and calm when I realized it was a dream!
I think the whole thing was brought on by a cold. It's the first one I've had since I quit and the feeling of being congested is bringing back all kinds of gross memories. I can't wait for it to be over so I can get back to some serious breathing.

knowbutts
6 mos 4 days
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

05 Jun 2002, 22:44 #103

Well, I had been feeling left out because I hadn't had "The Dream". Finally had it last night, and I can confirm it is VERY realistic.

This entire journey continues to be very curious.

Dave

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Month 2 Weeks 4 Days 12 Hours 45 Minutes 9 Seconds. Somewhere there are 1698 extra cigarettes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

10 Jun 2002, 23:06 #104

Phew......

Well I had "that dream" last night also.... I quite calmly and deliberately "lost my quit" and smoked a full cigarette.

Scarey stuff.....

when I woke up I just couldn't believe it... how stupid, stupid, stupid 3 months down the road to blow it...... mortified that I had sucumbed to "just one puff"....

Then my conscious brain took over...... the relief was amazing.....
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:10

20 Jun 2002, 09:13 #105

I'm not sure how related this is... but I keep dreaming about other people smoking! The other night I had a dream that my boyfriend (who has never been a smoker) had started smoking! Weird.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

21 Jun 2002, 13:37 #106

The feelings I had when I woke from my smoking dream were devastating! I was so ashamed of myself..I was so disappointed. I could see the look on my childrens face. I started to cry. I was so hurt that I had gone so far and didn't even realize, in my dream, I had gone off by myself and lit a cigarette. It was nasty tasting, but I couldn't stop smoking it. Then everybody I knew started appearing in front of me, and they all looked so sad as they watched me smoke that nasty cigarette. It was so real, I could smell it. I was rubbing my hands on my clothes, because I couldn't stand the feel of it in my hands. I kept saying I was sorry with big tears rolling down my face. I kept getting smoke in my eyes and nose, and I was coughing and crying and trying to hide my shame. I woke up miserable. It took me a good five minutes to realize that I was dreaming. It was so awful. *sigh* I hope I never have that dream again.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

21 Jun 2002, 14:31 #107

I'm glad you found this thread (I couldn't find it the other day)

A couple of nights ago I had yet another dream....

In this one, I smoked exactly ten cigarettes...in exactly 2 hours. It was completely premeditated.... and I was comfortable that it wasn't a relapse because it was so precisely planned... 10 cigarettes... and I was in control all the time...

Man, my subconscious needs to understand a few things here........

-richard - whose conscious mind KNOWS this things is beaten......
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

25 Jun 2002, 08:46 #108

So, last night's TheraFlu-aided dream included the following:

I'm with a smoking friend. We're walking down the sidewalk in Los Gatos, toward highway 17, which is a curvy, dangerous road that leads from Los Gatos to the Ocean side of the coastal mountains. For some reason, we're walking along the side of the road, and aren't concerned with traffic racing past.

She tells me she wants to quit smoking. I tell her I know a place that can help. I tell her about me, Tess and Sarah, who have all found help here, and have found lasting freedom. She can't recall Sarah, until I tell her a bit more, and then she remembers, "Oh yeah, I know her from the pub." My friend is smoking as she's walking. I'm giving her the low-down about how the secret to gaining your freedom is complete abstinence, and suddenly I realize I'M SMOKING! I don't know how it happened. I had unconsciously reached into my pocket for a pack, found one, and lit one up, and had 3/4 of it smoked before I even realized what I was doing. I'm looking at my friend telling her I'm done for! I've just relapsed! How did it happen!? What now!?

Then I wake up, only I'm not really awake. I've awakened into another dream. I'm not sure if the smoking dream was a dream or not, and then I'm trying to figure out how to explain it to Joel and the managers. I mean, it was an ACCIDENT! Isn't there some loophole!? I'm sitting at the computer drafting a letter, and then I wake up for real.

Still took me a few minutes to sort the whole thing out in my head...

Still free,

Bob (5m/2w/5d)
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

26 Jun 2002, 17:53 #109

I hadn't had a smoking dream for many months, and I was missing them because they have become a sort of companion to my quit. But then last night, I had a dream .... and it was just hilarious.

Someone was running a Best Quitter in the World competition, and the prize was a holiday for two in the Caribbean. I would obviously win this, so I confidently started to fill in the competition entry form until I came to the line that said "This competition is open only to current smokers. Please check this box to confirm that you are a smoker".

So I called John, and said I could take just one puff and qualify as a smoker. He reminded me about a few threads here, told me I was crazy, said if I did it he'd never talk to me again, explained I'd have to resign membership at Freedom and reset my quit meter, and I'd probably never manage to quit again and I'd die a smoker.

I wasn't happy about this, so I decided to get a second opinion. I called Joel and explained the situation. Joel thought for a few seconds, then he said "No problem, Marty. Don't start smoking again, don't enter the competition, and I'll pay for your holiday to the Caribbean" and he put the phone down.

I always knew that Joel had a clear, incisive brain --- what a great solution he came up with there. Now all I have to do is convince him that it wasn't a dream
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

26 Jun 2002, 19:14 #110

Hello Marty:


I had to use a variation of your solution once in a clinic. In March of 2001 I had a woman join my clinic who refused to throw out her last pack of cigarettes. She came in the second day saying she had smoked and she said that she had to smoke them because she paid for them and would not throw away money. She fully intended to smoke the whole pack over the next few days of the clinic. I told her that she would be wasting more money over a lifetime because she is not going to quit, at least not in this particular clinic since we have a strict policy of no nicotine. She was truly saddened by this but still insisted she couldn't throw away the cigarettes because it would be throwing away money.

You would have thought that she just really did not want to quit smoking and was just using this as an excuse. But something told me that she was serious, that money was a real important issue to her and she couldn't throw away something that she had paid money for. Finally I asked her if she would just let me buy the cigarettes from her for $5.00. There was almost a full pack and this way she would even get a little profit. She went for that solution quickly and happily.

At her one year smoke free anniversary we talked about that day. She was so grateful that she had quit. Besides feeling better and likely living longer, she was saving lots of money.

It was strange but it was the first time I ever paid for a pack of cigarettes. I feel it was the best $5 anyone ever spent for a pack of cigarettes. I talked to her last month, on the date that was her 14 month anniversary and she was still doing great.

So Marty, have I shelled out money to help people quit? Yes I have. Will I pay for your Caribbean vacation...well all I can say to that is keep on dreaming--and while awake to always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

P.S. I run too many people through smoking clinics and wanted to make it clear now this was a one time deal. I don't have a buy back program anymore for cigarettes. I don't want a line of Freedom people showing up at clinics with partial packs looking for cash.



Video and audio version of this topic:
Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Audio Length Created
Dreams of smoking 2.38mb 7.10mb 2.92mb 06:28 11/10/06




Last edited by Joel on 18 Mar 2009, 12:59, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

27 Jun 2002, 05:24 #111

Marty and Joel - you really had me spluttering over my cuppa this morning....thanks for the laugh!!!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

11 Jul 2002, 21:41 #112

Whew! So glad I found this thread. I knew there would be one! My dream was a quick one but I haven't been able to shake it. I was sitting on my lanai with a few friends, all of whom smoke in real life, and there was a cigarette there and I just picked it up without even thinking and lit it. As soon as I felt the smoke enter my lungs (and I can still feel it!) I realized what I'd done and started crying. My friends were all telling me not to worry, they wouldn't tell Joel! I took one more drag just for the **** of it and stubbed it out, then immediately I felt the pains of withdrawal, which of course were really pronounced, I started shaking and sweating and got a headache (which is still with me as I type this). That's the last of the dream I remember, besides the feeling that I really blew it and now I have to go through those awful 72 hours again and reset my meter...when I woke up I swore I was in serious withdrawal...by the time I got in the shower it was gone, but hoooo boy! I couldn't wait to get to work and look for a thread that addressed this. You haven't failed me yet, Freedom!
MareBear
1 month, 1 week, 5 days...not even a dream can make me take a puff!
Last edited by MareBear GOLD on 18 Mar 2009, 12:00, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:33

11 Jul 2002, 22:11 #113

Wierd!! I came to the Freedom board today to find ease from my dream last night, and I found this string!

Upon waking from my nightmare of sitting in a bar smoking a big ol' fat nasty cigarette, I was devastated that I had blown my 2 weeks of Freedom! I was so sad, and I was still feeling icky over the whole thing most of the morning. But, after reading this string, I am feeling a little better.

Thanks for helping me and letting me vent!
Jessica

2 weeks 1 day 23 hours 37 minutes
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:10

16 Jul 2002, 00:55 #114



I kinda like my nicotine dreams now, I think they are funny. They do scare the life out of me when I wake up sometimes still. LOL. Anyway, this is one of my favorite posts, just wanted to comment on it.

Your Quit Brother
Jerm
I have chosen not to smoke for 6 Months 2 Days 12 Hours 44 Minutes 9 Seconds. Nicotine sticks not smoked: 4955. Money saved: $929.12. Life extended: 1 Mo 4 Days 9 Hrs 53 Mins 16 Secs
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:02

20 Jul 2002, 00:12 #115

last night's dream...

a good family friend (who doesn't smoke in reality, but did in the dream) was diagnosed with lung cancer and died all in a very short period of time. It was tragic. After his death, there was a huge party (yes, party??) at his parents house, and there was an enormous room there, with very high ceilings. Anyhow, at this party, his father puts on a demonstration to show people what smoking will do to your lungs. He places some sort of white filter in a vacuum cleaner, and tells everyone to light up because he needs to demonstrate what smoking does to the white filter. Then he is in the air with the vacuum, someone is holding him up in a chair, and someone is holding that person up, so that he can reach the ceiling of this enormous room with the tube of the vacuum cleaner. Since smoke rises, I guess he had to be up near the ceiling for his demo to really work. Anyhow, in compliance with his instructions, I took a cigarette from my purse, not sure why I was even carrying cigarettes, but I lit up and took a puff. Well half way through the puff I remembered! I HAD QUIT -AND I WAS NOT TO TAKE A SINGLE PUFF. Well I panicked and looked at my husband who also looked panicked and promptly took the cigarette from me, and smoked it himself to save me from relapsing - what a good husband, huh? : ) - I convinced myself that I had caught myself in time and hadn't actually inhaled the puff. As far as I know, I kept the quit just fine. And the dream went on, but that was the creative stuff.... I never got to see the white filter from the vacuum, but I know what it looked like anyway...

funny.
Jessica
Day 17
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

20 Jul 2002, 00:34 #116

First, I would just note that I have had the dreaded smoking dream many, many times. What does THAT say? Second, like Bob, it's always some kind of accident that I end up smoking, it's never an "actual" decision, it's more like I forget that I don't smoke and accidentally pick one up and light it before I can realize that I quit. Then upon realizing what I've done, I panic! Kooky, huh?

Taking it one day at a time, Sam
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:14

20 Jul 2002, 00:48 #117

Ok, I just have to add my favorite smoking dream. This occurred shortly after I quit:

I am walking down a city street, tall old buildings on either side of me. I seem to know where I am going and then go down some stairs into a "corner bar" type place (anyone from the NE knows what I mean) and low and behold there I am sitting at the very end of this long bar smoking a cigarette. I walk up to myself and say: "Hey, cut that out, we don't smoke anymore!" To which my alter ego replied: "You might have quit but I did not." To which I replied: "Oh yes you did!" and I took the cigarette and put it in "my" drink. We looked at each other for a moment and finally the other me said, "well, ok, if you are going to be b***** about it." We walked out to the street together and then I woke up.

Too weird!
Liz aka threecrows 1 year, 14 days.......and never again!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

24 Jul 2002, 11:07 #118

Joel,
Thanks for pulling that one up. I think I have read it before But it sure does refresh my memory to see it again. I think there is a article here for every situation.

Thanks Again,
YQB
David

Free For 3 Weeks and 5 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

31 Jul 2002, 01:23 #119

Boy, am I glad to hear an explanation for the smoking dream. Not that the one smoking dream I had was disturbing. The smokimg was very peripheral to the dream and someone else was smoking. It was, in all, a very mundane dream. The thing I'm so pleased about is the information about cilia (silia?). I have smoked for so many, many years that I had begun to think my poor cilia were nonexsistent. If the smoking dream is indicative of the cilia operating once more, then the frog in my throat in the morning and the smoking dream are a cause for jubilation. Part of my pulmonary system is still working.. Maybe all of it is , for now. At this age one cannot possibly hope to have avoided completely the consequences of years of addiction but every sign of regeneration is, never the less, appreciated... Thanks, Lilac
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 Aug 2002, 04:50 #120

They just get wierder and wierder (if not quite as frequent)...

Last night, I'm restlessly tossing through the standard type-a relapse dream. Only then I wake up (not really), and I'm talking to somebody who wants to quit, and telling them about this site, but I'm smoking, and Joel's there, and John too, but they're not smoking, and then later, I wake up again, and I'm thinking to myself I have to write to the Smoking Dream post about the wierd dream I just had, and then I'm typing to this thread, only I'm still asleep, and then there's another relapse, and then I'm really awake in my bed, and sweaty, and confused, and wondering if I'm really awake or not, but I don't want to smoke, so I must be awake, because the only times I find myself wanting smokes are when I'm asleep. So, NOW, I'm here relaying the nightmare, and I'm pretty sure I AM awake this time, and I'm positive I'm still smoke free after 7 months...

Bob
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

09 Aug 2002, 18:50 #121

Just had my first smoking dream. Ugh! It was horrible. Don't recall having any physical sensations like an ahh feeling or coughing and burning. The cigarette did feel normal in my hand. What was crystal clear was how disgusted I was with myself for relapsing. I stubbed the darn thing out as I was wailing about having to reset my quit meter and tell everyone what I had done. I was soooooooo relieved to wake up and realize it was just a brief nightmare.

Parker
My quit meter is reading a healthy 2 months, 1 week, 8 hours and 46 minutes this morning! Whew...
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

09 Aug 2002, 20:30 #122

OMG Joel,

This is soooooo true. I had a very vivid smoking nightmare last night and woke up crying it was so real, and I only had one puff in the dream. I guess I was so scared because I know I'm an addict and that one puff=thousands of cigarettes. Eventually I realized it was a dream, but it took me a while to get back to sleep and when I woke this morning I still felt very sad and frightened.

On the bright side, it's nice to know that my body is working very hard to heal itself. My continuous "coughing-up" this morning adds further proof to your explanation and makes me feel that my body's kicked in to high gear on the healing part.

Thanks for yet another truly insightful thread!

Healing big time for 2W 2D 9h 56m 13s and counting.

C
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

26 Aug 2002, 23:36 #123

I just had to revisit this thread because I have been having so many of these dreams lately! They don't bother me the way they used to--in fact my quit is weaving its way through the dreams now, rather than it being solely the domain of my inner addict. Last night I dreamed that there was a lit cigarette in an ashtray in front of me, and I thought, well, there it is, it must be mine, and the law of addiction doesn't apply to me (yes, I actually said that to myself in this dream) so I took a puff and immediately thought "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" The withdrawals were immediate and intense, and I was telling myself "now you've done it, you jerk, you're now going to go through **** Week all over again!" I woke up feeling sooooo guilty!! Then laughed when I realized it was all just a dream!
MareBear

Not a puff for: 2M 4W 13h 49m 1s. Cigarettes NOT smoked: 1791, saving me $277.68. Life Saved: 6D 5h 15m.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 Sep 2002, 06:47 #124

Well, here I am 1 year, 3 months, 3 weeks and 1 day into my quit, and I'm still dreaming about smoking!

The dynamic of the dreams has shifted. I'm quite aware of my quit in my dream, but find myself smoking just one. Then I realize that I've had one or two along the way. Then I'm stunned that I've lied to the board (here) about having not had any all this time! Then I marvel at the foolishness of thinking I could go so long without one once in a while.

The mood of these dreams is one that is very familiar to me ... it's a mood of resignation and an "acceptable" level of denial and self-sabotage. But that's a mood about smoking from before I quit. I don't feel that way in my waking life about my quit! I'm **** proud of my 479 days!

I chalk it up to building bridges in my subconscious, healing on deeper and deeper levels. Thank you!

I cannot begin to convey how very grateful I am to wake up and know that I have not had any part of a cigarette in all this time, despite my old patterns of self-doubt!

Melissa
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

06 Oct 2002, 00:22 #125

Thanks for bringing this thread up Marty and Thank you Toast for your lovely post. I was feeling quite dismayed by the smoking dreams. Earlier this week I had a smoking dream, but during the dream I said to myself - ah don't worry it's just a dream the cilia are working and kept right on dreaming and sleeping.

But the sub-conscious wasn't satisfied and last night I had another very vivid smoking dream. This time I had a half smoked pack of cigarettes in my purse and absent mindedly lit one up and inhaled (but I didn't in enjoy it). Then I realize that I have been smoking (still in the dream folks) for days. I am having a relapse and I am fatalistic about it (oh well it was bound to happen I was always a smoker). As an aside I thought, darn Joel was right - I should never have started carrying cigarettes. I felt bad about the relapse - and thought well I'll never get to post at Freedom and I was almost gold. A little voice in my head said mybe this is just another dream, but I replied this is no dream - face it you took a puff and now you're back to full time smoking!

Thank goodness it was a dream, but it is still scary to realize that some where inside my head there is that little junky voice, quiet now during the day but still able to shake me up in a dream. Wish I enjoyed these dreams the way Marty does!

yqf

Lorraine

Not a single puff for 360 days!
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