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Contrary to the opinion above, you cannot light a cigarette for another person unless you are fully prepared to going back to smoking yourself. You are a drug addict and you can easily absorb enough nicotine through your oral mucosa to cause a relapse. The same phenomena is seen in people who puff on a cigar after quitting smoking cigarettes. Even after years or decades of total abstinence, that seemingly innocent action has caused many to relapse to full-fleged smoking again.
(My note) This was the person's final post at Freedom, (almost a year ago), after being a fairly regular poster. Draw your own conclusions as to why.
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The ironic thing is, that I gave up for 7 years and then started again ... with just that one puff. Now, four years on from that first puff, I am trying all over again. For some reason - this second time around is so much harder. Honestly - the first time for me was pretty much a walk in the park (I was smoking 30 a day for 8 years), and went cold turkey without a problem - I was SO determined. I guess I was lucky ..... I wish that I had not risked that good luck by taking that first puff again four years ago. All fine in hindsight huh ......
My most successful prior quit was many years ago, CT (no OTC NRT at the time), and lasted nearly three weeks, until I thought that just one puff would see me through and help me continue my quit! Ugh! I wish I had read this information back then.
I won't go there because been there, done that. (I wasn't a member of Freedom at the time - but almost the exact same thing happened to me. You however, are much, much, stronger than I was. It took me 8 years after a successful year of not smoking, then relapse, to finally find Freedom.)
So last month I tried to quit cold turkey and made it 7 days. The cravings were driving me nuts and I just couldn't take it. I had one puff..... then one cigarette.... then in a day I was back up to my normal pack a day. .
His first quit with me lasted well over a year. He took a cigarette one day and didn't get hooked--actually puffed away ever now and then for a few weeks before losing it. He basically inspired my letter the lucky ones get hooked. I lost contact with him a few years back--at that time he was still chain smoking. He had at that point smoked on and off again close to 20 years after that first relapse after having once been off for a year.
I quit once 5 years ago (for 14 months) when I was pregnant with my 2nd child (I smoked during my 1st pregnancy 5-10 cigs a day). I was sure I had beat my addiction so I would have 1 cig. occationally. It took about 3 weeks to return to my previous level, and several more quit attempts to reach this point.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, everyone here is right when they say, over and over again, that there is no such thing as "one cigarette" for an addict. It is interesting to note, that as I lit that first cigarette, I was surprised at the taste. It tasted just like the first cigarette I EVER had…do any of you remember that? NOT a pleasant taste. Plus, I began coughing almost immediately. Not to mention the TREMENDOUS LOSS OF PRIDE I felt rushing out of me with every puff. With each cough I felt weak, (cough, COUGH)…and worst of all, I felt beaten; BEATEN by a "little piece of paper filled with 4,000 chemicals". For anyone out there romanticizing that "one cigarette" I hope that you can listen to me when I say, that is a horrible, HORRIBLE feeling.
In three short days... I "enjoyed" five packs of cigarettes…just a little MORE than I smoked prior to my quit. For the record, that's one hundred attempts at getting back that "ahhhhh" feeling (and I never DID get to that point), a total of about $25 dollars wasted in one short weekend, and all of my healing DOWN THE TOILET! I was amazed when I woke up on Saturday morning and looked at myself in the mirror. First of all, I was greeted that morning with the FULL EXTENT of my smokers' hacking cough (uuggghh), and as I gazed at myself in the mirror I actually thought, "My god! I look terrible". All of the gray seemed to have rushed back to my complexion. My gums were red and I swear my teeth looked even more yellow than before I quit. I could not even stand the smell of myself. I spent the night before with my family, getting disappointed looks every time I went to light up. My parents and two sisters, who have all successfully quit, were looking at me with THE MOST disheartening looks. I felt like the biggest failure…and to be blatantly honest, I was.
Two years ago I stopped smoking for approximately 5 months. That had nothing to do with Freedom or Whyquit, I didn't even know they existed then. Then I relapsed at a friend's wedding; feeling too sorry for myself as I watched my friends smoke. Of course, this meant that I then had to spend another two years smoking and yet wishing I didn't
I have not smoked I have not smoked since my first post 5/11/01 on mothers day. RECENTLY I lit up a CIG FOR A FRIEND WHO WAS BLEEDING PROFUSELY ,,,THE MEDICS WERE ON THEIR WAY,i SPIT OUT ALL SMOKE PRIOR TO IT'S TASTE AND SMOKE HITTING MY LUNGS,AND GAVE IT TO HIM.....bUT I STILL HATED MYSELF FOR COMING SO CLOSE TO A puff....
|Recommend || Message 12 of 58 in Discussion |
|From: marty (gold) ||Sent: 10/3/2002 3:00 AM |
| Just on the subject of that last quote in Bob's post, the woman who lit a cigarette for a friend, I know the person concerned and can positively confirm that she relapsed within a few days of the event.
|From: Joel ||Sent: 5/16/2003 4:13 AM |
| Just to comment on the example Marty listed above, the person didn't actually relapse within a few days of the event--she relapsed at the moment she stuck a lit cigarette in her mouth. She just didn't realize that she relapsed until a few days of the event. |
Smoke does not need to be brought into the lungs to induce a relapse. Nicotine can be absorbed through many routes. Through the skin as is evident by the use of the patch, and by the oral mucosa as evident by the gum. Lighting a cigarette or putting a cigarette in your mouth will cause the absorbtion of nicotine and that absorbtion is administration of nicotine to your body and administration of nicotine is a relapse.
Trying to rationalize it or define it as anything else is going to kill a quit and killing a quit can very likely end up in killing the quitter. The only way to guarantee staying totally smoke free is to know that they only way to avoid relapsing is to never administer nicotine via any NRT route and as far as for burning tobacco the only way to avoid relapsing is to never take another puff!
| My message is---- It is oh so easy to start again, beware!!! I have quit many times, mostly without the help and info that is now available,and usually on a whim, New year was a favourite!! |
My best attempt was for a year in '83 with a group working along the lines that Joel teaches. This was good and I felt I had it beaten!! Then one morning at my place of work I "borrowed" a cigarette from a friend. I could have just the one couldn't I? I had it licked, **** I'd been quit for a good year. Of course this quickly became a practice in my morning routine. As time went on my guilt kicked in and I thought I really was being a little cheeky taking one every morning from this friend, I bought him a pack, and upped my quota to two or three a day!! Naturally this led me back into the addiction that I thought I had licked!!
The point being as Joel relentlessly tells us all---- just one puff is all it takes!!!!!
I have steadily been trying to quit, roughly every two years since then.
In fact, I quit smoking just a couple of months ago! I went about 4 days. Then I took a puff. "Just one won't hurt me," I thought, knowing all the while that I CAN'T control how much and how often. I KNEW that one puff would lead to more, but I gave in and bummed one off a friend. ****, I gave up 4 days and had to start at zero again. Might as well buy a pack and control my smoking to only two a day. Yeah, right! Finished the pack within two days and was back to 1.5 packs a day again. Lesson: Joel's TRUTH, "Never Take Another Puff"
as you know I was nicotine free for 16 years and all it took was ONE PUFF......for the addiction to nicotine.......for 3 years!!!!!! I REMEBER THE FREEDOM.....I had those 16 years, the last 3 years have been miserable.....
I don't even remember how I got addicted again! I started at around 19 yrs old and smoked for 10 years, quit for 3 years, then started to just smoke socially on week-ends for a year until it started to sneak into my week. So stopped for 3 months and then...I can't even remember the first puff...it's all a blur!
So the strange boat that I'm in is that my first quit was alot like everyone's here, everyday was a struggle, after chores, after eating ..etc..but I somehow trained my body to only smoke when I'm socializing and especially drinking..it started off with just on Saturday nights, then both week-end nights, then during the day..and then for some reason, during the work week I could "manage" my cravings. Oh yeah, towards the end, I was using the patch during the week. I think I was becoming addicted to the patch too! But recently they have started to get too strong and annoying , plus my week-end smoking wasn't fun anymore b/c it was getting in the way of everything and it was driving me crazy to manage my cravings. Also, the nicotine I was addicted to this time were in these cute little cigerellos, so it didn't seem like real cigarettes.
I had smoked for about 15 years and then quit for 7. Everyone was so proud of me, it felt great. Well, I was stupid and TOOK ANOTHER PUFF five years ago and began my addiction all over again, only this time I had to be in hiding, how could I tell my family and friends that I had started up again?
During my last quit, before freedom, I found myself in the same situation. It was a year later, I was studying for finals, with the same friend. Her smoke curling around my nose. I thought if I smoked one I would go back to smoke free bliss. It didn't work. Before I knew it, I was back to my old level. I knew nothing about the power of addiction.
I visited one of my customers this week and while I was there she asked her son for a cigarette. I said "I didn't know you smoked". She said "well I had quit 20 years ago and this old friend came to visit me and we had some giggles sharing a couple smokes. Ya know, I can't seem to stop buying them now...". That was a 20 YEAR QUIT THAT SHE LOST!!!! It's never, ever, ever, ever, OK to take another puff for us addicts. Did I stress NEVER!!!