I absolutely love this thread. Allowing these "one puff files" and the knowledge from this site to flood back into my mind whenever I have craved has been immensely helpful.
I think this particular thread is my favorite, because it reminds me of how vulnerable I will always be. I can never return to a state of non-addiction, and I can never trick myself into thinking I can take only one puff. That one puff is the only thing separating me from full blown addiction, and I am fully aware of that now.
My addiction will always be there awaiting my return if I go back, but I don't think it requires my being paranoid. It doesn't mean I can't enjoy my freedom. I don't have to act like it's stalking me from around the corner and think about it all the time, but I do think I need to have a general awareness that the addiction is still there, especially if I entertain the thought of a cigarette for more than one second. I actually enjoy acknowledging that I'm vulnerable because it means that I refuse to plead with or convince myself like I have in quits before. Those quits were unsuccessful for a reason. Now, I squelch the thought at it's root. Don't even allow yourself to think about it, and the thoughts will cease much faster. NTAP!!
Krissy - Free and Healing for Ten Months, Three Days, 12 Hours and 20 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Days and 11 Hours, by avoiding the use of 6190 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $2,037.65.