Retraining the conscious mind
I absolutely love this thread. Allowing these "one puff files" and the knowledge from this site to flood back into my mind whenever I have craved has been immensely helpful.
I think this particular thread is my favorite, because it reminds me of how vulnerable I will always be. I can never return to a state of non-addiction, and I can never trick myself into thinking I can take only one puff. That one puff is the only thing separating me from full blown addiction, and I am fully aware of that now.
My addiction will always be there awaiting my return if I go back, but I don't think it requires my being paranoid. It doesn't mean I can't enjoy my freedom. I don't have to act like it's stalking me from around the corner and think about it all the time, but I do think I need to have a general awareness that the addiction is still there, especially if I entertain the thought of a cigarette for more than one second. I actually enjoy acknowledging that I'm vulnerable because it means that I refuse to plead with or convince myself like I have in quits before. Those quits were unsuccessful for a reason. Now, I squelch the thought at it's root. Don't even allow yourself to think about it, and the thoughts will cease much faster. NTAP!!
Krissy - Free and Healing for Ten Months, Three Days, 12 Hours and 20 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Days and 11 Hours, by avoiding the use of 6190 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $2,037.65.
- Joined: November 11th, 2008, 7:22 pm
[P]eriods of abstinence following a lapse are typically short-lived: nearly every smoker who lapses eventually relapses (Brandon, Tiffany, Obremski, & Baker, 1990; Chornock, Stitzer, Gross, & Leischow, 1992; Garvey, Bliss, Hitchcock, Heinold, & Rosner, 1992).
I too am living proof that ONE PUFF means total relapse. I never believed it!!! until I lived it. I had quit for 16 years and then started up again 2 years ago...aaaggghhhh. Like one of the quotes listed -- I had to HIDE from family and friends for quite a while. How in the world do you admit this kind of stupidity? So thankful to be free and on the other side again. KNOWLEDGE is POWER. Thank you Freedom! One is always too many and 1000 never enough!!
It is good to read the archives. There is much to learn from peoples success and failure. I never want to smoke again! Sitting here free of nicotine for 44 days is a good start, and that is all that it is. The drug is powerful. It almost scares me to read posts from people who have been off the drug for years only to relapse. I do not want to make that same mistake. I never want to go back to being a smoker! There is still much to learn....one day at a time. Today was a great day. I did not smoke.
Thanks Joel and all of the staff for what you do.