|From: UKMags1||Sent: 1/16/2004 11:13 AM|
| My last successful quit lasted 10 years! Oh yes...I was a non-smoker for 10 years. I had smoked a pack a day for 10 years before embarking on that quit and I was thoroughly proud of myself for quitting. I can honestly say that I did not think of myself as an ex smoker but as a non-smoker. Having said that, I had given up on National No smoking day here in the UK and as that anniversary came round every year I would stop & remember what I had achieved and quietly celebrate it with myself. Not only did I not think about smoking or want a cigarette but I actually HATED it when other people smoked. I hated the smell of it on them and especially on my clothes after a night out. I can remember hanging my leather jacket outside for 2 days to get rid of the smell of other peoples cigarettes at a wedding reception I had attended. |
With all that you may ask how did I ever start again?
It was simple. I took another puff.
It was a ridiculous moment when I was feeling a little stressed about something and a smoking friend lit up and just for a second I thought "Hmmm...that smells good" and at that point I made the fatal mistake of reaching for that cigarette and taking a drag! Of course it tasted absolutely disgusting and made me feel VERY ill. And I thought yuk..why did I ever do this? And of course I had to take another cigarette to try to remember why i had ever done it. And another and another in an effort to recreate that aaaahhhh feeling which would explain to me why I had ever been a smoker. And by the time I got that aaaahhh feeling of course it was too late. I was addicted again and my TEN YEAR QUIT was down the toilet!
Words cannot explain how I felt about myself! I had to admit to family members that I had started again. My husband and his family had only ever known me as a non-smoker and, as a family of non-smokers themselves, they found it quite horrifying. Worse than other people's opinions of me has been my opinion of my self for the last 3 years. Not a day has gone by that I have not HATED myself for starting again. I have HATED this little white stick in my hand that has held me hostage for another 3 years after I thought I had broken it's grip. I had always considered myself to be fairly intelligent, yet how could that be the case when I had done something as stupid as that.
Now of course I know why.
This quit is only 2 weeks old but I know now that the answer is simple. I can use the excuse that I broke that 10 year quit thru ignorance of the true power of my drug of choice.
If I break this quit there will be no excuse. I know the answer and the choice is mine.
My advice to everyone on this website is this, for what it is worth.
Never Take Another Puff.
Don't think you will be different or that you can get away with it 'cos you can't. Thinking that way cost me a ten year quit, my self esteem, God knows how much damage to my body, approximately £2300 in donations to the already rich tobacco companies and a fortune on prescriptions for asthma inhalers. It's not worth the risk so don't take the risk.
I have not used any nicotine for 2 Weeks 1 Day 11 Hours 58 Minutes 48 Seconds. During this time I've left 154 evil butts in their packs on the shop shelves at a saving of £33.32. I've reclaimed 12 Hrs 54 Mins 57 Secs of my life to spend with my beautiful children who, hopefully, will not now smoke themselves. I will never take another puff.