The One Puff Files

Retraining the conscious mind
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Nov 2003, 23:24 #41

Thank's for bringing this thread back up ~ just the reminder I need to hold tight to this quit ~ I know my life depends on it. I can't for the life of me understand why I went back to smoking on more than one occasion. I've been quitting for 25 years! Let go of a 2.5 year quit in '80, an 8 year quit in '92, and another 2 year quit in '99. These were not "slips" ~ they were defiant "I'm going to smoke now" relapses.

Just from hanging around this group for a few weeks, I know that I can Never Take Another Puff and I'm beginning to wonder why I would ever want to. For this junkie, that is great progress!

Thanks for all you share on these boards . . . . . back to reading the thread . . . . . Image
God Bless,
Candi - Free and Healing for Sixteen Days, 11 Hours and 43 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 3 Hours, by avoiding the use of 330 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $42.90.

Gormo Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

09 Nov 2003, 00:18 #42

"In July of this year I turned Gold. 12 months of Freedom. Everything I was told here came true. No longer thinking about smoking, total comfort and vastly improved health. I threw it away and relapsed. One other thing is also true. You're one puff away from 2 packs a day. I very quickly returned to my old nicotine consumption level. Just like that." As one of the individuals quoted in OBob's original, "One Puff Files" I have always been frightened by this thread. Not because it speaks about relapse, but because it reminds me of the blazing with which a relapse can occur.

One moment, Quit for 14 months, a split second later an actively feeding addict.

There is no such thing as, just one puff for we, the addicted. That one is all it takes. Your addiction cpmes full bloom and your ability to rebound becomes even tougher as ypu despair over your relapse. There's no negotiating, no, "let's make a deal.' That Quit is gone, kaput, finis. And you must begin again. If you can.

Your Quit requires education, determination and focus. Constantly. Your relapse requires nothing but a split second of doubt.

Always hold your Quit tight. Always keep it in front of you.


Gormo Coupla days shy of 14 months Quit

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

09 Nov 2003, 01:02 #43

Hi Freedom,
I just read the entire thread ~ Bob did a super job putting it together. I recommend that anyone who has not read it to please take the time and read it while it's "at the top!"

For a chronic relapser like me, I could relate to so much of what folks shared. I especially related to someone who said "It's only temporary" ~ seems to me I said that once after a relapse. I'll just smoke until . . . . . . . . . then it is totally taken out of our hands.

Thanks, too, Gormo for adding your share to the thread this morning . . . .

Never Take Another Puff . . . . . . .

Free and Healing for Sixteen Days, 13 Hours and 22 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 3 Hours, by avoiding the use of 331 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $43.08.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

26 Nov 2003, 08:02 #44

Image I come back here often and read this, if only to reinforce over and over again what I now know, one = all. I thank God for this place and for all I've learned here. Our quits are otherwise fragile. They require regular strength training.

Thanks for updating this thread!

Image, Sarah ( 1 Year, 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 8 hours, 21 minutes and 17 seconds (509 days)).

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:56

06 Dec 2003, 06:39 #45

I needed to post to this thread tonight. To remind myself of where I have come from and to add to the testimony that INSISTS........never take another puff.

I'm not to good on dates or the exact order that things happened. I couldn't tell you the number of times that I have tried to quit. But I can recall some of the circumstances in which I took the one puff .........that always (see above) becomes the one long extended daily puff of a coast to coast steam train addict!

Here's one from the early years. It could probably go into the (attempted) divine intervention thread that I have seen elsewhere.
.......A great weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I felt inspired to stop smoking as well. Two or three days into the quit I was at the park with my youngest boy (he was about 18 months old). The damage had probably already been done as I had bought a packet of cigs on the way there (undoubtedly blocking my mind at the time to the feelings of shame and worthlessness as well as to the voice of reason)...................................or was there still hope? As my boy played with a small ball I opened the packet and put the cig in my mouth...... but as I lifted a lighter to resume my flirtation with death and slavery a projectile (my sons' ball) flew threw the air and........quite precisely broke off the tobacco section of the cigarette leaving me with the filter tip in my mouth.........SAVED!!!!!!!!............? ...........surely?
.....Well, no................after giving my self esteem a final kick in the ribs (though I did ponder the situation for a few seconds) .....I took another cigarette out of the packet and resumed my smoking for at least the next 10 years (give or take a few more quit attempts).

The quits I have made in this time have lasted usually a few days or a couple of weeks. On two occasions I have stopped for about 3 months. A number of occasions I have been drawn back by starting to smoke cigars.....even when I knew where this would inevitably lead me......this path of repeated failure, as everyone knows, eventually leads to a terrible sense of hopelessness and desperation, whatever might be happening in the rest of your life.

This brings me to my last and probably wimpiest, most pathetic attempt at quitting made a few weeks before this, my final quit. (I am not trying to tempt fate or to be a man of iron here.....I just cannot afford to think or speak in any other way....this is my final quit). From the divine intervention (failed) of one of my earliest quits, we travel to an even more depraved picture that I am sure many of you can unfortunately identify with.....

........I throw tobacco in the bin as on several previous quit attempts............ I go to bed.............
...and next morning, like the most God forsaken dog returning to the filthiest vomit.....I retrieve enough tobacco from among the usual kitchen waste (use your imagination for this one if you have to) to roll a few smokes...... before I officially start my next stint of slavery by buying another packet.

It has been commented that many millions of people have stopped smoking without the benefit of this web site. I salute their courage and wisdom. A few weeks after the above quit attempt (????), desperate, depressed, but sort of wiser I decide (again) that I must quit. Something makes me look on the internet for help and I find this site. And as I read, the penny drops. I finally add the 2 of my experience to the 2 of yours and for the first time I get 4. I am an addict.......I will always be an addict.........therefore.......I must Never Take Another Puff..........and the road to recovery and healing began!

DAVID - Free and Healing for One Month, Four Days, 21 Hours and 49 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 3 Days and 15 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1047 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £78.66.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

12 Dec 2003, 22:43 #46

I lost my very first quit through just one puff! I was at work having lunch with a co-worker in the breakroom of the company where we worked. We got to talking and he was smoking (this was back in the days when you could still smoke in the employee "lounge"). I remember finally saying to my co-worker "Give me a cigarette!" and he did. I had been quit for about 3 months at this time (but I had quit because the girl I was dating asked me to and we had long since broken up) but by the end of the day I had bought a pack of my own and was back into my addiction. Except for a couple of short-lived quits I would smoke for the next 11 years before I made another really serious effort at quitting.

I often ask myself "WHY did you ever start up again?" but by now I have realized that beating oneself up over the past is a pointless exercise. Besides, there are no guarantees that I would not have started again at a later time, although as time went on the chances would surely have decreased. All I can do now is to learn from my mistakes, thank God for giving me the strength to quit now and the support of this group to stay quit, and stay determined, today, one day at a time, to never take another puff!

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

12 Dec 2003, 22:47 #47

Forgot to post my stats!

yqb, David One month, five days, 45 minutes and 11 seconds. 630 cigarettes not smoked, saving $47.29. Life saved: 2 days, 4 hours, 30 minutes.

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

19 Dec 2003, 03:47 #48

How long does a relapsed nicotine addict spend each day in either thinking about feeding their addiction, in actually doing so, or in getting to an acceptable location where they can do so, or in planning to do so, or in looking for lost cigarettes or that extra pack or their lighter or an ashtray, or in traveling to their supplier to buy yet another pack or carton, or in disposing of all their empties, or in cleaning up the ash or trying to get rid of the smell?

Think about how many times you would have smoked nicotine today verus how many subconscious crave triggers you encountered today. Which was less? Don't blame what you're feeling on where you're going (home) but on where you've been (nicotine's slave).
Only one rule, no nicotine today! John
Last edited by John (Gold) on 04 Apr 2010, 22:41, edited 2 times in total.

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

03 Jan 2004, 11:42 #49

The Law of Addiction
Administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance.
Last edited by John (Gold) on 30 Aug 2017, 23:40, edited 2 times in total.

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

17 Jan 2004, 11:24 #50

Canadian Government's Addiction Warning Label