The Monster Under the Bed

Subconscious use cue extinguishment
Ilona
Ilona

April 29th, 2008, 8:05 am #41

Thanks OBob

I love the "dare to look deeper" attitude that I find on this site. And I really appreciate this post today, as I have not dared to even peak at the monster under my bed. I have been trying to hum away the addiction chatter and pull the covers over my head! I just took a moment to look at monster head-on and have discovered that the chatter is not an urge to smoke at all, but a lack of belief in myself, in the fact that I can stay quit. This is a confused junkie thought that has been fed by years of addiction, not by logic, as you say; whereas the decision to quit was a decision ruled by logic, a weapon against addiction that I possess as much as anyone! The chatter ceases immediately in the light of this truth! So I will confront the voice and answer, as I cross the threshold from smoker to ex-smoker:
"I, like anyone, was meant to live nicotine-free, and am strong enough (smart enough) to do it".

Ilona
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

June 6th, 2008, 9:33 am #42

Allow yourself the time it takes to adjust to living without your drug. True healing is taking place in your brain. Let it happen. Breathe, continue to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and recovery, and pat yourself on the back often. You are FREE and HEALING!

As written by OBob: Keep taking it one day at a time. One minute at a time if you need.... You'll get there. This is eminantly doable.


Sal
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Joel
Joel

November 1st, 2008, 12:43 am #43

Yes even on Halloween there are no monsters under the bed with regards to smoking.
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FreedomNicotine
FreedomNicotine

April 11th, 2009, 11:47 pm #44

And on the seventh day[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF] [/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Just Found a Cigarette [/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Being honest about our addiction[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]I am an addict! Hooray![/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Desperate addicts parade: have you ever...[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Facts You Should Know About Smokeless (Spit) Tobacco[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Wakeup Call  is a 'hidden' Classic from the often recommended & read O'Bob Gold.[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Turning the corner - acceptance[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Comfort [/font]
Last edited by FreedomNicotine on January 18th, 2012, 6:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Maggie1014
Maggie1014

April 18th, 2009, 1:22 pm #45

Thank for the post. Really helps me! Marge 19 days free!
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Johnnie
Johnnie

August 28th, 2010, 3:57 pm #46

Here's the "ahhhh" feeling I needed today. Positively terrific post!
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angelinaquit
angelinaquit

October 1st, 2010, 8:59 pm #47

Thank you Bob for the beautifully written, carefully crafted thoughts on early transition. I, too have been hovering in this perpetual state of fear and "now what?" mode, having quit only 3 weeks ago. NTAP has helped me understand that I can truly never have just one cigarette, and the "one cigarette" trap is why I failed in the past. Being clean and smober for the last three weeks has been an incredible feeling. I don't smell bad anymore, my hands don't stink, I'm not constantly applying perfume or swigging mouthwash - or being hostile when I'm jonesing for a fix! I smoked for 17(!) years and I've had to work really hard to remember the me I was before I became a slave to nicotine. I am, however, really looking forward to the me I am becoming without this deadly dependency. When I do have my moments of crisis and panic, visiting the WhyQuit pages, Joel's library and reading the words of fellow quitters also reminds me that I can do this, that it has been done! Thank you!
3 WEEKS, 3 DAYS, 5  CIGARETTES NOT SMOKED: 337; MONEY SAVED: $193.78
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zeddontsmoke
zeddontsmoke

January 1st, 2011, 9:30 am #48

Thanks Obob.  The 'aagh' moment is the hardest and you just clarified that I would need to get myself back into smoking to feel that again....No thankyou!!!  Natural aaghs for me :)

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Day, 1 hour, 21 minutes and 28 seconds (32 days). I have saved $461.61 by not smoking 577 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 30/11/2010 4:01 PM
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NoNic4Neal
NoNic4Neal

January 21st, 2011, 11:18 am #49

Bob,
Great Post, reading it was a great way to start my 12th day of freedom. Everything you said is as true today as when you wrote it (almost 9 years ago). I really needed to read some of the insights in this post. Everything is getting better for me as I learn more and more to deal with my monster. NTAP
Neal
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schmaltz
schmaltz

January 26th, 2011, 12:30 am #50

A hearty thanks for that one.
Still going strong for 18 going on 19 days now.
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Johnnie
Johnnie

January 28th, 2011, 2:53 pm #51

This is one of my Top Ten fave posts...and I greet the monster once again to look it in its eye.
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Joined: November 11th, 2008, 7:22 pm

June 28th, 2011, 3:45 pm #52

An expected five million needless smoking related deaths this year and the #1 cause?  Fear! 

The brain pathways designed to generate intense wanting for species survival activites such as eating food and drinking liquids have been taken hostage.  Now instead of craving food a couple of times daily, one billion nicotine addicts find themselves craving nicotine 10, 15 or 20 times a day.  Seeing quitting as though starving themselves to death, how could they not be afraid? 

Those hostage pathways are doing their job so well that half of adult smokers are smoking themselves to death.  So how do we reach the fooled and captive user and teach them the truth?  Like trying to convince them that they won't starve if they stop eating food, it's one of the greatest challenges known to man.  

Without food we die, without nicotine we thrive!   Try telling that to someone whose brain is screaming even louder the importance of that next mandatory chemical feeding.  Who should they believe, us or wanting flowing from their deep inner limbic mind?  It's why once they are ready to venture beyond dependency's shell that we do our very best to help them see and feel the light, that knowledge is power.

If recovery gradually transports all of us to that first magic day where we go the entire day without once wanting to use nicotine, what do we have to fear?  Why fear freedom?   Today I read a new paper asserting that smoking doubles the risk of dementia and Alzheimer's disease.  If true, we need to find a way to connect with them before smoking destroys their ability to understand, remember and apply the
Law of Addiction.

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John - Gold x12
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prucat
prucat

July 28th, 2011, 3:03 am #53

What a good article. I needed to see that. I am caught in that middle ground, not in withdrawal, not on easy street. An ex-smoker knowing the truth of just one puff by still enough of a junky to think it just might not apply to me. The truth of this traps me right here. Choose. Don't dwell on it, Just choose and get on with life.I have to keep choosing freedom, I have to keep choosing not to revert back to a life of nicotine slavery. At times like this, when I wonder if I can make it through this stage, I have to consider what full relapse will be (and I know the answer to this) and I must choose not to relapse. Whatever this stage means for me, I have to see it through because relapse for me has become the thing I fear even more than anything this transition might entail.

It's a bumpy road. A good post that speaks the hard truth doesn't make the road less bumpy. It just makes me know it's a well-travelled road and I can stay on it, too.
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stef2211
stef2211

November 4th, 2011, 9:13 pm #54

Bob, thanks so much for that post.  Fear of not smoking, actually being successful at quitting, is a biggie.  Especially for a newbie like me!

Quit for 4.7 days, or 113.8 hours.
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hotdosa
hotdosa

November 11th, 2011, 6:50 pm #55

Fantastic post! I am struck by how accurately the post captures the fears and anxieties of those of us whose quits are still rather young. I've been quit a bit more than a month and have had to deal with a lot of the anxiety myself. And reading it described like this really helps you understand what you're going through - which in turn makes it a lot easier to deal with!
-hotdosa

==
36 days, 364 cigarettes, saved 1D 6h 20m of my life, and $182.45
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Lejardin
Lejardin

February 8th, 2012, 3:00 am #56

this is bar none the best inspirational post. THANK YOU, OBOB,again. you have centered me for the fifth time.....
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Molette
Molette

November 18th, 2012, 8:03 pm #57

This is such a good, honest, and wise thread, thanks OBob for taking the time to write it many years ago, it's still as true today :) I'm in that inbetweeny state, out of the super-motivated first few weeks, over many hurdles, but suddenly at six weeks in I've been subjected to two major stresses, and have spent the last two days having to work really hard not to relapse. These words from someone, was it Melissa?, on page two of this thread really hit the nail on the head for me: "So, in a very real sense, "learning" to quit smoking successfully fits into this pattern of learning. What is described here as a No-Man's Land could be compared easily to the conscious incompetence state described above. The rush of the newness is diminishing. We know enough to feel pretty content with this new state of things, and yet we are keenly aware of the experience only time and practice and continued desire will manifest. We long of competence. Everyone else appears to be confident and competent in their current place, while we can feel odd & out. It is that longing that can keep us moving forward" I value where I am so much! I don't ever want to give in to that addiction again. It really REALLY helps having this site to return to, this reprogramming and relearning is a long long winding journey, and we have to learn to be patient don't we, little baby steps :)
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