The Monster Under the Bed

Subconscious use cue extinguishment
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

17 Apr 2002, 21:50 #11

Hi Bob.
Great post, I can relate to fear of the unknown, I am going to a friend's in Scotland on Saturday, and I have nearly cancelled a few times because I know I wont smoke, I have just never crossed this bridge before, it is a round trip of about 350 miles and as I say although I know without doubt I won't smoke, I am not looking forward to it.
Thanks though that post came at a good time for me to prepare.
Love Naymor xxxx
2 weeks 16 hours 47 minutes.

improud (golder)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

17 Apr 2002, 22:11 #12

Thanks Bob, a great help for newbies and us olddies too

Rosemary (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:04

17 Apr 2002, 23:00 #13

Hi OBob,

I don't have much to add. I just wanted to say thank you for your very important post.

Rosemary--Nicotine free for 2 Months 6 Days 10 Hours 29 Minutes. Cigarettes not smoked: 1308. Money saved: $327.18. Life reclaimed: 1 Wk 2 Days 2 Hrs 7 Mins 15 Secs.

gard757 G O L D
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:44

17 Apr 2002, 23:20 #14

Hey Bob!!
THANKS for the amazing post!!
Your friend Sarah

Lori225 (Silver)
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:57

17 Apr 2002, 23:53 #15

Once again thank you for a great post. I always new that I was afraid of failure - I even thought is was stupid of me to feel that way - especially when I would hear myself say it out loud to a non-smoker. Boy, they must have thought I was a little nuts! But, what really hit home in your post was the "fear of success". This one I never admitted to myself or anyone else until now. That just goes to show you how powerful a drug nicotine is to create that kind of junkie thinking. Daily I am amazed at how great I feel and how I am enjoying adjusting to a life free from nicotine. I know that there may be tough times ahead but I also know that I can face them!!


John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

18 Apr 2002, 00:38 #16

Bob, I got an awesome ahhh feeling just reading this piece!
The mind's blend of fear of the unknown, fear of failure and fear of success can be a major force in keeping us hiding inside our turtle's shell for many many years.
One thing that always strikes me as odd is when a smoker says that they "like" smoking. Our addiction compelled us to invent reasons for not coming out of our shell, a psychological security blanket of sorts. I know mine did. When you quiz them, most admit that they can't quit and that they have almost zero memory or recall of what it was like to live inside their mind before nicotine became their master. To "like" something you must have something else to compare it to. What most are really comparing and really saying is they don't like what happens when they don't smoke - full blown nicotine withdrawal.
I don't recall which member it was, maybe you Bob, but not long ago one of us said, "If you'd told me on the second day of my quit that someday soon I'd begin experiencing entire days, then weeks, and then months where I never once THOUGHT about wanting to smoke nicotine, I would have called you a liar. Wonderful post Bob!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

Last edited by John (Gold) on 18 Mar 2009, 13:55, edited 1 time in total.

TooKan25 (green)
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:33

18 Apr 2002, 01:27 #17


...And you've accused ME of considerable introspection and philosophy! What courage it has taken you to sit and contemplate your words with such unblemished honesty. Only someone who has shuddered through the seemingly insurmountable terror of the demoralizing monster and cringed in the darkness of this horrid addiction could compile such words and command such a complete understanding. This is the thing that shreds our perception of ourselves, our esteem... the grand generator of the lies we tell... the lengths we will go to in protecting our secrets, fears, flaws, the wounds...our pain... our addiction.

I also believe that anyone who as recently fought to the point of considering a quit, or who has recently pulled up a new quit should see your post as "required reading."

As with life itself, there is light in direct proportion to the monster. ...There is freedom to be had and found for a very small cost. The payment of choice in deciding whether or NOT having that Puff TODAY will create an opportunity for truth, happiness, awareness, availability, ease, confidence...the list goes on.

This has made me realize that I've been living on the dark side of the moon for a couple of decades and have now come 'round to the sunny side of life. I will not trade my life today for one puff or a million (which is what that one puff would lead me to...) I cannot find a good reason to smoke today, given the gifts of being an ex-smoker. This is nothing short of incredible-- as is your post.

Thank you,

Last edited by TooKan25 (green) on 18 Mar 2009, 13:56, edited 1 time in total.

wcsdancer (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:29

18 Apr 2002, 08:31 #18

Bob, thanks for this incredible post. At 5 months quit I am running into the "oh, that wasn't so hard, now I can have just one" monster under the bed whispering to me. Since this is the first time I am going to succeed with my quit, I'm pulling out all the stops. Your post was a very timely and valuable reminder. Especially the "Just One" warning. In the past I've always fooled myself into thinking I wasn't an addict and that I could smoke socially. I'm grateful I know better now. I'm grateful I'll never have to go through another **** week. And I'm grateful to you and all of the Freedom family for your selfless sharing and wisdom.
Huge hugs to you,
yqs *Candy* 5months1week2days

janetd (GOLD)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

18 Apr 2002, 12:03 #19

Hi Bob, Great post! My sister-in-law passed her one year quit mark one month ago. I was visiting with her tonight, and asked her what every smoker's ideal is? She didn't guess the answer so I told her, "To be a social smoker." Next question: Why do so many people lose their quits? "Thought they could be social smokers." LOL
yqs, Janet

grafix(Gold ))
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

18 Apr 2002, 12:55 #20

The "meet, greet, defeat" philosophy has got me to where I am today....
to understand our addiction is halfway to beating it...

Great post Bob!

Eight months, three weeks, two days, 4003 cigarettes not smoked,
saving $1,307.77 Aussie dollars. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 21 hours, 35 minutes.