The Isolation of a Widowed Smoker

Jordan(Silver)
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:25

08 Feb 2003, 14:16 #21

I'm sending this one to my 3 packs a day sister. Yes, I
said 3 packs.
When she gets older and her kids are grown, she could
end up being the lady in Joel's story.

I told her about this website. I don't know if she ever
looked at it. She is the most stubborn addict that I
have ever known.

If she could only see through her addiction for a few,
clear, bright seconds!

Gena (bronze)
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MsArmstrongKIS
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

01 May 2003, 00:02 #22

You know, I don't have a husband, dead or not, much less any kids, but I remember this Joel Classic as probably the first that made my eyes pop in the first week of my quit.

I think it was because usually when you read about someone in literature, a cigarette means something about their character and is used as a prop--romanticized. You know, like Audrey Hepburn at her party in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

But smokers don't get to use cigarettes just as props. . .this little story shows smoking for what it really is; punctuation for every single act you do in the day. Joel, I just don't know how you know how to portray smoking this accurately but I'm so glad you do, because sometimes I forget what being a smoker is really like and I start thinking it would be nice to have one at the cafe or at the bar. I forget the reality.

Very powerful. . .it just got to me again, two months later.

Alex
2 months 2 weeks 2 days
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

02 Aug 2003, 17:01 #23

I was just resonding to an email from a person who found this one particulary helpful in realizing just how much life revolves around cigarettes when a person is an active nicotine addict. What is great is how once you quit, life no longer revolves around smoking nor not smoking either. Life as an ex-smoker just revolves around life. To keep your health and to stay permanently free from the grip that nicotine once exerted upon you is as simple now as just always remembering why you first quit smoking and why for numerous personal reasons you are still totally committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Alleen Golden
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 00:16

08 Sep 2003, 00:29 #24

Joel:

This was a wonderful article and a really sad article. As I read, I could see myself, the addiction of smoking so clearly. I am amazed at the number of articles that you have and how moving they really are.

Thank you Joel... You helped teach me how to save my own life. I feel so much better that I will never take another puff.

Alleen
1 week 2 days, 17 hours. 194 cigarettes were not smoked. Wow - the cigarettes are starting to add up.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Sep 2003, 01:13 #25

Hello Alleen:

This letter was a little different than most of them. I didn't have any one specifically in my mind when I wrote this piece, it was just my impressions of a number of lonely older people I knew at the time. Some of them were actually non-smokers and ex-smokers. I just saw how much these people had looked so forward to family and friend visits and then it just struck me how a smoker in the same situation is likely to have altered priorities.

As opposed to this letter, most of my articles were inspired by a specific smoker or group of smokers. "My Cigarette, My Friend " for example was inspired by a specific clinic graduate who had relapsed and who I was visiting in the hospital right after she thought that she just experienced her fourth heart attack. She was afraid she was dying, and was wanting a cigarette. She had been out to a play the night before that she had to leave during some key scenes so she could go out and smoke. She was bitter about that and also about the fact that she believed that her cigarettes were killing her at this particularly moment in time, yet she was saying how much she wanted a cigarette and could not have one because she was hospitalized. I went home that evening and just wrote what I thought as I reflected about her conflicting comments and sentiments. Basically, that letter almost wrote itself.

I feel that the Isolation of the Widowed Smoker is really clear at showing how much valuable time and energy our members and readers once wasted on cigarettes and on just fixating on smoking. More importantly now though, I hope this piece creates a sense of importance on how you never want to waste your future valuable time and energy on maintaining an active nicotine addiction and to always serve to remind you that you never will have to waste such quality time on smoking as long as you always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Alleen Golden
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 00:16

08 Sep 2003, 03:03 #26

Joel:

I know you know I had a rough time in the beginning but I am 1 week 2 days and 19 hours, almost 10 days into the quit. I think I am feeling better - honestly... I think I am going to make it. I knew I would but sometimes it just feels like you won't - you know what I mean.

I have recommended this website to my smoker friends. However, I don't want to become one of the awful ex-smokers either.

Thank you for your nice letter to me. I will read my cigarette my friend - which sounds like something my son should read too.

Thanks again - you will continue to keep hearing from me because I will never take another puff...

Alleen
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smokefreeJD Gold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:06

29 Oct 2003, 21:33 #27

This is my favorite as well, and the post that touched me enough where I knew Freedom was where I wanted to call "home." It reminded me of everything I thought and felt when my father would come to visit me or if I would go to visit him. I would be looking forward to it SO much but since I was a closet smoker around him I would always be haunted and dominated by my addiction. So instead of enjoying my time with him I was consumed by my need to feed. Now it's the opposite, and I'm so incredibly grateful!
Jill Image
Kicking Butt for 1 Year 3 Weeks 5 Days.
Last edited by smokefreeJD Gold on 28 Jul 2009, 00:35, edited 1 time in total.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

26 Jan 2004, 01:51 #28

I saw where a member was thinking of smoking because of her lonliness. Thought this post would add some perspective to the issue.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

13 Feb 2004, 00:52 #29

I know some people are currently feeling like their lives are somehow sadder because they have quit smokng. The sadness that people feel when they first quit is temporary. The sadness and loneliness that a person can feel because they smoke can be a lot worse and last a lifetime--albeit a shorter lifetime because of the fact that smoking will likely end up in your facing a premature loss in life. The true road to greater happiness is sticking to your commitment to never take another puff! Joel
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j a g 64
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Sep 2004, 01:35 #30

How odd! I just posted a bit about this piece in my quit diary. I was so shocked when I read this which was actually yesterday afternoon from the PDF download I have. Not only did I relate to how often she smoked and for what variety of any and all reasons (the oven is pre-heating, time for a smoke), I too have left early from visiting my beloved nieces and nephews simply because I wanted to go smoke where they couldn't see me (which meant cutting off the visit as their yard is tiny and has no place to hide).

JAG
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