the angry, still smoking spouse

Subconscious use cue extinguishment
knowbutts (Gold)
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:25

21 Nov 2001, 13:34 #11

Thanks to everyone for the feedback. You guys helped me get through the weekend without acting like a totally mean jerk. I know he wants to quit too, and when he's ready if I can get him to this site he'll make it.

Thank again,

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Nov 2002, 22:14 #12

Congratulations Knowbutts!
This thread by Knowbutts just turned one year old, as did her quit on November 10, 2002. Congratulations Knowbutts! An interesting thing about this thread is that every member who responded to it is today in Freedom's Gold club (signifying that they have not used any nicotine for over one year). It's powerful testimony to the power of becoming active in the give and take of online support. The next few minutes are doable - just one challenge at a time! John - The Gold Club


JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Apr 2005, 09:15 #13

Here is an historical example of how to address the smoking spouse issue which has come up at least three times today. If anybody can think of others please 'bump 'em up'.

joejFree 106+

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Jun 2006, 12:04 #14

Wow, I read every post without realizing that it was several years old.
I relate to just about every post. My smoking husband is a trigger for me. But I've learned to deal with it. I quess it's just reminders of time that we used to spend together. With busy schedules sometimes that after dinner smoke was the only time we had to talk. I'm trying to learn to make time now..Just like everything in my life..i'm re learning how to be an ex just all takes time.
I used to really bug my hubby about smoking but i've really eased up on him....just little comments about the smell now and then....and maybe a money comment tossed in...once in
He has to quit for himself......i just pray someday (soon) he will. I even promised to let him get away with being very moody for the first week of not I did not have!!
Anyway...thanks for bringing this post up to the usual just what i needed to read..(husbands outside smoking now...:(
Thanks again
I have been quit for 3 Months, 21 hours, 59 minutes and 36 seconds (92 days). I have saved $436.70 by not smoking 743 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 13 hours and 55 minutes of my life.

Jacqui672 Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Jun 2006, 23:34 #15

My hubby smokes. This thread should be titled the angry not smoking spouse. We have one bathroom, and it is tiny. I begged him not to smoke in it, but he still does. He smokes in every room of my house. REALLY MAKES ME MAD. So thanx for letting me come here to vent about it.

JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 Aug 2006, 05:17 #16

This post could also apply to the still smoking friend, close relative, work associate.....etc. who is 'just waiting for me to fail'.

Well if you do what you know is right by NTAP for you & only you and then remember your initial quitting motivation you will see that the only person you can contorol whether the use nicotine is you.

JoeJ Free to be 'just me' by keeping my initial pledge TO MYSELF that I'd NTAP.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 01:39

12 Aug 2006, 08:00 #17

Great post!

So many emotions are involved when you've managed to continue winning your freedom and the one you love has "let go". It is always nice to know we are not alone.

Tallmama Karen

Karen - Free and Healing for Eight Months, Six Days, 18 Hours and 52 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 17 Days and 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 4996 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $1,022.09.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 01:29

30 Jan 2007, 18:29 #18

This was a great one to bring up. My husband smokes as well, but luckily for me he has been very supportive and encouraging with my quit. He started smoking in the basement so it wouldn't be around me, etc. One thing that bothers me, however, is (through no fault of his!) is that I get really annoyed inside each time I see him heading down there! I know those feelings will pass's already not *quite* as bad as a few days ago...but I really want to rid myself of the feeling that I'm mssing out on something...this was a great post to read today, thank you!

PS...I agree with one someone from last year posted....that's the great thing about these doesn't matter how old the information is, they all will still always apply! :) M.

I have been quit for 1 Week, 21 hours, 44 minutes and 55 seconds (7 days). I have saved $30.42 by not smoking 158 cigarettes. I have saved 13 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 1/22/2007 6:45 AM

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:58

07 Mar 2007, 06:19 #20

And it does apply. I really miss my husband, when he came home after work we would go out in the garage together and have a smoke or two where I had him all to myself before the kids took over. Now he is out there alone. Sometimes I go out there and hang out a few feet away and if the urge hits I hightail it around the block. I don't want to be left out, but I don't want to feel the need to smoke to be included. My smoking people are afraid to smoke around me and that sort of makes them avoid me....that's really funny if you think about it, it is usually the non-smoker avoiding the smokers!