GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

January 3rd, 2002, 4:19 am #31

rough time of the year now for most of us. The holidays over, winter setting in and lots of different emotions surfacing. remember...this only lasts a short time. KEEP SMILING!!
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GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

March 11th, 2002, 6:57 pm #32

for Milly
if you get a chance, treat yourself to a little something special today....anything that will make you smile...a CD, a book, a few fresh flowers, a plant, a new bottle of nail color....anything.

this feeling will pass, but in the meantime, there is no rule that says you can't treat yourself with something of beauty. Even a short walk can do wonders, especially in the spring which is full of the renewal of life. Listen to the birds, look for the new perrenials to poke their heads through the ground, listen to children laugh and remember that you too are healing as well and soon you will be feeling so much better.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is time...time to heal and time to adjust and time to realize that a whole new life is unfolding before your eyes....yours!

yqs, Linda
2 years plus
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Roger (Gold)
Roger (Gold)

March 12th, 2002, 12:03 am #33

EXCELLENT STRING TO BRING UP LINDA.

ROGER
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Carolyn
Carolyn

May 3rd, 2002, 7:04 am #34

Wow...I really needed to read this today! There have been no specific triggers, just that "empty" feeling that my junkie thinks can be filled only with that killer drug, nicotine. I feel reassured knowing that I am still in the process of healing.

Thanks, Linda

Carolyn
Choosing to be nicotine free for two weeks, five days, 8 hours, 17 minutes and 19 seconds. 386 cigarettes not smoked, saving $58.04. Life saved: 1 day, 8 hours, 10 minutes.
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misha (Gold )
misha (Gold )

June 9th, 2002, 1:15 pm #35

I really needed to read this today. I found myself not only craving cigarettes, but overeating to compensate as well. Couldn't really figure out why I was doing this, but have been digging deep, journaling, and getting honest in order to stop this behavior. It was getting pretty depressing. How soon I forgot that this was junkie thinking? Gosh!
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Kit Cat (Gold)
Kit Cat (Gold)

June 9th, 2002, 3:27 pm #36

Woooh! What a day. Grumpy or what! I was to have the weekend to myself, hubby was heading to our cottage for the weekend. Lo and behold the weather forecast was pouring rain all weekend. He ended up coming back early this morning. So, needless to say I was Ms. Grouchy,Touchie, Out of My Face mood today. Did a lot of reading at FREEDOM. My quit had been relatively easy until this past week and I even went GREEN. Go figure. My patience level is very short right now. Been doing a lot of deep breathing. I keep telling myself this will pass. Oh, I even yelled out a good scream today. Never did that before! There was no one home luckily! One day at a time........ Phew....NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF.
I needed a good ramble.
Catherine

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Month 3 Days 1 Hour 35 Minutes 2 Seconds. NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Last edited by Kit Cat (Gold) on January 13th, 2010, 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Alyson GOLD.ffn
Alyson GOLD.ffn

July 9th, 2002, 1:08 am #37

Thank you, her grumpiness, this is just what I needed today!!

While I am certainly less and less uncomfortable, I am not really more comfortable yet - you know?!

I continue ONE DAY AT A TIME - and have never faltered on my course to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF - but do find myself growing impatient sometimes!!!! It is so reassuring to read about the experiences of others who have struggled through this "empty feeling" that has haunted me for the last few days.

Thankfully YQS,
Alyson
13D16H5M
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Alyson GOLD.ffn
Alyson GOLD.ffn

July 9th, 2002, 1:40 am #38

And thank you Lorraine for bringing this to the top!

Alyson
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TDQ gold
TDQ gold

August 24th, 2002, 3:34 am #39

Thanks for this thread...really needed to read this today. I've been on the rollercoaster since I got up this morning...

Took a look at the "savings jar" I started since I quit. I think there's enough in there for a little giftie-something this weekend...

TDQ -- thedreadedquitter

Da numbas:
1 Week 2 Days 16 Hours 52 Minutes 9 Seconds.
242 cigs not smoked, saving $60.64.
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GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

October 15th, 2002, 4:35 am #40

for MoodyEsther from GrumpyOMrsS.

hang in there sweetheart and never make apologies for going through withdrawal. you will feel lots better, soon. I promise.

Linda
two years, nine months free
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misha (Gold )
misha (Gold )

October 15th, 2002, 4:43 am #41

Hang on, feel whatever feelings there are, doesn't it feel good to not use nicotine to cover those up any more? Thankfully, the rollercoaster of emotions rolls to a stop. Whew!

your quit sister,
mish
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BillW Gold.ffn
BillW Gold.ffn

January 15th, 2003, 12:06 am #42

For Tisy and Nana......it gets better!
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nadette bronze
nadette bronze

March 12th, 2003, 3:08 am #43

thank you golden billw for the recommendation of this article, and thank you linda for writing it.
i really needed to read this.
nadette
1wk, 1d
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Jamster
Jamster

March 12th, 2003, 1:37 pm #44

Thanks, I needed this post today. I feel a little blue, but for once no tears at the drop of a hat. Maybe I'm fighting them off, I don't know, I'll wait until I lay in my bed thinking of what a wonderful day I had not smoking. Then when I cry I turn the tears into tears of happiness. For some reason, even though I've had some rough times, I know deep within that nothing would have been different if I smoked, and I don't think the way I've dealt with everything would have been any easier emotionally either if I smoked. I feel calmer and more relaxed, although, no one notices, I feel this way inside. I'm relieved to have kicked off the habit, and three weeks feels like years compared to the 18 years I've smoked...continuously, one after another..., killing my lungs...

What a tragedy, what a horrible tragedy. Ok, I'm stopping now, I don't want to cry for unhappiness, just happiness. Am I crazy? Oh well, at least I crack myself up with laughter sometimes during my craziness times. Thanks, for your kind words, and encouragement, it helps!!!

Jamster, 3 weeks, 36 minutes, 27 seconds
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Mellodeegold
Mellodeegold

June 8th, 2003, 11:18 pm #45

I had to come to Freedom this morning. I have been bothered by nickodemons since yesterday. I'm almost 4 weeks into my quit [May 13] and got hit by a bad crave, I fought it, even had a good cry for myself. Then I dreamed 2 people came in the store where I worked, smoking cigarettes, and instead of telling them to put them out, I asked for and took a puff.
I couldn't believe I did that and began to cry for my lost quit.

I woke up, tears still on my face, and joy that it was only a dream. I immediately logged on to Freedom to read about Depression and how others handled that type of feeling.

I was thinking maybe I should ask my Dr. about Wellbutrin , but like others, I do not want to take medication. Maybe it was just this weekend and this crave that did it. I don't have too much support at home, Hubby is glad I quit but doesn't have much to say about it, kids are glad too but no one reenforces my need to hear that I'm doing great.

When I smoked, every day someone said "when are you going to quit?" "You need to quit" Now that I've quit, no one says anything. No one feels or understands the struggle I'm going through[ they never smoked]. Oh I guess this is just another pity party for me. I needed to come on here for my re enforcements. I do realize I am proud of me and my quit, I didn't think I could get this far.
Ms Grumpys post and the other articles on depression have helped and so I'll go do something good for myself and keep on breathing deeply and
never take another puff [even in my dreams]

June 13th will be my GREEN PARTY Almost there!
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GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

June 9th, 2003, 12:50 am #46

Hi Mellodee,
First of all....you are going to be just fine! There are NO nicodemons, as you will learn here at Freedom. It's just your addiction tapping you on the shoulder to let you know it's still there but it wil subside as you learn more about it and meet, greet and defeat your triggers.
Read the following. They will help you to understand just what is happening to you, including the smoking dream:


The smoking dream
The urge hits
Why am I still having "urges?"
Negative support from others
Quitting can be a very lonely experience
One day at a time
One hour at a time
Nicodemon's lies or junkie's junk?


before you know it...you'll be celebrating your first smokefree month and we'll always be here to celebrate with you.
you're doing great. be proud.

Linda
Last edited by GrumpyOMrsS (Gold) on January 13th, 2010, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mellodeegold
Mellodeegold

June 10th, 2003, 12:14 pm #47

Gosh, I really needed to read the one on dreams, I thought I was the
only one.
It's great that Freedom re affirms all this for the newbies.
I did get out of the house, went to the Casino and smelled the yucky
smoke and know I will never take another puff. I also watched the
smokers having their love affairs with a slow death, I was embarrased
for them and realized I was there only a few weeks ago.
Yes I need the support of you posters on Freedom, my support at home is
not really negative, it's just not there. I need the stroking, even give
myself a pat on the back.
Thanks for being there on this SOS weekend. I just got freaky for a
while.
I'm ok now.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

August 16th, 2003, 3:51 am #48

This temporary journey of adjustment called quitting is primarily about our conscious rational mind having the patience to allow the subconscious emotional inner mind the time needed to begin sensing that the real chemical free "you" is a wonderful thing to be. All the emotions bubbling up are almost automatic cue conditioned responses designed to protect you from the anxieties associated with early withdrawal. You've already been there, you've done that, and all that remains is for both levels of consciousness to begin to see, appreciate and believe that where you are, and where you're going, is far far safer, much healthier and vastly easier than the captive life, massive risks and endless emotional and energy cycling that you've left behind.
You're going home and there's only one rule - no nicotine today! The next few minutes are doable! Have a great weekend! John
Last edited by John (Gold) on January 13th, 2010, 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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tuffnec
tuffnec

January 11th, 2004, 5:26 am #49

thank you for your advice ,my family would say that i am not that placid any way but since stopping i have laughed more than i normally do and have smilled more than i normally do,but i have also found myself washing the dishes and crying for no reason,ive screamed and shouted,but all through the last five days(that have incidently felt like fifty)ive had this overpowering feeling of proudness in myself i just hope one day i will look back on this and no longer feel that im carrying all these emotions around with me just cause im not allowing myself to have a ciggerette,i will not take another puff!!!!!!
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LilLulu814
LilLulu814

February 12th, 2004, 10:30 pm #50

I love the way you put things Linda. I am very much on an emotional rollercoaster with my quit. Other than that it's going well, but I'm sick of crying over everything or getting angry over nothing, as I'm sure the people around are as well. On day 3 of my quit I found myself washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees (I dont' like the way the mop does it) bawling like a baby, over nothing. I'm ultra sensitive these days as well. If I could get a grip on my emotions things would be absolutely fabulous. I suppose this will come with time and patience, not one of my strong suits (patience).

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Week 11 Hours 44 Minutes. Nasty Cigarettes not smoked: 224. Money saved: $38.64.
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Toast (GOLD )
Toast (GOLD )

June 12th, 2004, 2:30 am #51

stealing a great gif from one of the best!
Melissa
36 months
Last edited by Toast (GOLD ) on January 13th, 2010, 3:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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malapela gold
malapela gold

August 22nd, 2004, 11:31 am #52

Emotional roller coasters, eh? I'm pretty sure now, after reading this thread of a thread of a thread, that this quit I'm doing is responsible for making me think of divorce, quitting my job, moving to Mexico, or just simply running away.

I've been feeling as if I have nowhere to go. I've had plenty of tears and tirades but only this week. The first two weeks were fine, almost too easy. I've had some serious doubts, even today. But, I guess I kept thinking NTAP and smoking never really helped anyway. That's why I always had to have two or three in a row; "maybe the next cigarette will help, or the next."

I'm very depressed this week so I'm reading a lot and it is helping a lot. I've been feeling that I'm different..."not like all these people here." And I read that same quote tonight from someone else. That thought, that I'm different, can easily risk a relapse. It's a terrible thought. But from following these threads, the thought and the risk erased itself.

Thanks everyone,


John Three weeks, two days, 11 hours, 30 minutes and 49 seconds. 657 cigarettes not smoked, saving $98.61. Life saved: 2 days, 6 hours, 45 minutes.
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WideEnlightened
WideEnlightened

August 23rd, 2004, 10:27 am #53

Dear John (Malapela?)

I'm so confused about these thread things, so I have been looking for the most recent post that applies to how I feel.

First Linda's (Grumpy) post I can really relate to, since I smoked for 46 years. Yours I can relate to becasue I quit 7/29/04 at 5:00 AM. And I am feeling very depressed the last day or so. Wequit about the same time.

For one of you older long-time-smoker- oldbies that have had the heart to stick around for so many of us, while I'm happy for all the excited ex-mokers out there...... I am just feeling lethargic and depressed. I don't want to smoke. I want my life back, and because of all the health problems I have created for myself, I'm afraid I may never have it back. I know I'm not going to turn into an athlete in the next 7 days, but I could use some emotional support. I have been feeling tired and depressed for the last couple of days. I'm afraid I have done too much damage to my body to recover as everyone else seems to have done.

I don't know if I have posted this in the right place, but..identified strongly with John's comments and feelings. How come I'm not all high and excited - so close now to green?..( maybe tomorrrow I will be).

I feel guilty posting this, but talking to the wall isn't helping right now. I am trying desperately to regain my health so I can work and survive. I have no medical insurance, and am living off what remains of my savings. At least I'm not spending any of it on cancer sticks.

Thanks to whomever responds. It is a relief to have someone to talk to.Thank you Freedom.

Mary Ann..also feeling really grumpy, up and down and sidewise.

Free and healing for three weeks 2 days and 14 hours
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malapela gold
malapela gold

August 23rd, 2004, 10:55 am #54

Mary Ann,

I'm glad I'm on right now and happened to see your response. Yesterday, when I was feeling so depressed, I looked for posts about depression and came to this. I'm not sure if we should start a new thread or not. I do feel a bit better today. I know exactly how you are feeling except when you say you have done too much damage to your body. I hope you are just depressed and this isn't true. We are feeling better and quitting now is going to be the best thing you have ever done for yourself.

Yesterday I thought, " I'm tired, I don't want to do this and why can't I have my only friend back? I hate my life and I don't want to live a long one anyway if it is going to be like this. But I feel better today!

So hang on, one day at a time and we'll get through this and we will be happy and excited just like all those other people with gold after their names.

I have a question Mary Ann. How do you quit at 5:00 AM? You awoke that early, had a smoke, then decided to quit, or what? You are farther along than me. I stopped at 11:00 AM. Let's have a parade next Sunday when we get our Green status, OK? Read you then.

John - Free and Healing for Twenty Four Days, 10 Hours and 55 Minutes
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VoluntaryDebraSilver
VoluntaryDebraSilver

August 23rd, 2004, 11:03 am #55

Hello WideEnlightened,
Yes indeed, welcome to the world of quitting smoking. We are all remarkably similar and all so very alone in our quits. BUT everyone who comes here wants you to succeed and become healthier and happier and prouder of yourself. Good luck to you. Read the library and try to give yourself forgiveness because you can look high and low and it is not in there. It's a new world for us older folks to step into. I smoked 35 years and was very sad when I quit. Depressed really. Get help if you need it but realize smoking again will not make you happy. It takes time, patience, and what you already have....desire. Congratulations and remember you never have to talk to the walls. Someone is always here for you.

I've been quit for 8 months, 24 days, 21 hours, 26 minutes and 42 seconds (269 days).
I've not smoked 8067 death sticks, and saved $1,264.27.
I've saved 28 day(s), 0 hour(s) of my life.
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