screams, laughter, fears and tears

The emotions that flow from nicotine cessation
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:05

02 Jan 2001, 23:08 #11

Looking back at my not so long ago post I can`t believe thats me. One thing good did come from a cigerette company
"WE`VE COME A LONG WAY BABY" Though I`m sure Va slims never heard of freedom!!!
Sweet ,lovable, Mrs G , your the best and when are you grumpy????
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:05

02 Jan 2001, 23:12 #12

thank you Linda, that came from the heart, I hope Hal is well, you are a terrific friend
can't wait till the "golden announcement" I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, I COULD BURST!
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

02 Jan 2001, 23:16 #13

Hmmm, reading over this post again and seeing my post from before I have to agree with Tessa.

WE SURE HAVE COME A LONG WAY, BABY!

To all who have just recently quit, I promise it just keeps getting better and better. As long as you remember the golden rule:

NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Hugs,

Amy

I have been free for Three weeks, five days, 40 minutes and 28 seconds. And have not smoked 780 cigarettes, have robbed Phillip Morris of $108.54. I have added: 2 days, 17 hours, 0 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

03 Jan 2001, 00:31 #14

Wow! I find myself so awed by reading these posts. How different and how alike we all are in our addiction and recovery. I have been lucky so far with screams, laughter, fears and tears as I am on Christmas break and have spent the beginning of my quit basically alone and am free to vent any feeling into the air without fear of affending or affecting anyone with my outburst. Oddly enough though, I seem rather numb and void of emotions at the moment. At this point it all seems about counting time, getting through one hour and then another. I find it difficult to accomplish anything being void of motivation. Please assure me that this phase will pass because I am generally a very motivated, energized person with some goal in scope that I must work toward accomplishing. As always your support is overwhelming and I thank Freedom and staff for being ever available. For the moment my motivation will have to be the accomplishment of 1 day 11 hours 23 minutes ,51 cigarettes not smoked by me, $7.35 added to my savings and 4 hours 15 minutes added to my living. Subie0
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:05

03 Jan 2001, 01:47 #15

well, Linda it's time to wash the morning dishes and get ready to go back to work..it was really nice while it lasted...will be home after 10 my time and will say hello again then. I feel
ready for the day and I know I will not take one puff today...wonderful..I'm amazed I can say that with surety. a week of reinforcing my committment has paid off in so many ways...talk to you and all of my quit friends tonight
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

07 Jan 2001, 15:25 #16

so many new emotions and so many new quitters....up....it gets better.....trust me
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

08 Jan 2001, 08:05 #17

Thank you so much!!!!! For me life began 5 days ago when I made the decision to throw away the smokes I can see clearly now in more ways than one. I know what you mean about making big decisions to change something major in your life and for the first few days its really slow after a couple of weeks boom it will start flying. I am not concerned about the next 2 weeks or 3 months, I am focusing on right here and now.....
Thank you again and may you all have a Healthy & Happy Smokeless New Year, Your Freedom Sis Suzanne
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:34

08 Jan 2001, 12:21 #18

Well today I had some real tear and fear time. I talked to my dad, who has been smoking since he was in the sixth grade, and found out he has been sick for 2 weeks. That's when the fear came and tears and pain. It was for him, but I'm so used to dealing with all these emotions by sucking them in with my inhale. I've never dealt with my feelings (or tried not to by smoking) and they're quite overwhelming. I have been going to this sight more and more recently. It really helps reading and sharing this stuff. I am so glad I have somewhere to go so I don't have to give up the fight. Tha nks for sharing everybody!
Zanne
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 Feb 2001, 03:32 #19

I see a few are having a down day...hope this helps.

Hang on tight friends..one day at a time!

Thanks Linda : )))

Love and hugs to all...

Joanne ; )
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:25

07 Feb 2001, 09:34 #20

Thanks for the encouraging words. I've been there lately. 3 weeks today and I am proud but also experiencing a sense of loss that I can't explain. outoftheashes
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:17

19 Mar 2001, 01:17 #21

Great post to bring to the top. Well said Linda!

Hugz to you all. Tash
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:34

19 Mar 2001, 03:10 #22

just wanted to say thank you to the ones that sent me words of encouragment last week when i was near to end of my 1st week of being smoke-free. i was really wanting a cigarette so bad that night. i decided before going for cigarettes i would reach out to my quit sisters & brothers. each letter that i receiving i could feel the love & concern. i sat here as i read the replys i sat here cried. today i am so happy i didn't go back to smoking because i know it would not have been just a cigarette or two it would had been pack after pack for me. the craving are still there but not as often or as powerful as last week. i am finding out that using hard candies help a lot. i keep the candies now while i used to keep cigarettes. it is becoming more easier each day. hugs, bonnie

One week, three days, 1 hour, 24 minutes and 21 seconds. 704 cigarettes not smoked, saving $79.21. Life saved: 2 days, 10 hours, 40 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

19 Mar 2001, 11:24 #23

Hi Jen, thanks for sharing. I am sorry you are feeling so on edge. You stats are much to be proud of...you are even breaking records. I just want you to know that I do understand how emotional this journey can be. The beginning of my quit was like a roller coaster.... I truly worked through it one day at a time. Please understand that this is temporary, you are going to adjust well and you are going to be a new woman. So many wonderful things will come forward. It wasn't that long ago where I vented in posts and cried out to others. It really helped to have others understand my frustrations. You are making many changes working through this addiction....your body is healing...your mind is healing...major stuff and it can be frustrating. But like Zep said earlier in a post...only for as long as you let it. Continue to look at why we must keep working and why we must succeed!

Hold on tight, Jen, it won't be long...do it just for today. We are proud of you, look in that mirror and smile big...you are doing this and doing it well! Stay close and keep talking to us...I'll bet a little later you will feel terrific.

Congratulations on awesome stats!

Hugs...your quit sister...Joanne
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

20 May 2001, 10:40 #24

For Darcy...
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

14 Jul 2001, 09:35 #25

Linda
I have read this post before but still enjoy reading it as it sort of sinces most of the prevalent emotions and since maybe many of us do not experience fear, (except maybe fear of failure) it is a whole different perspective
What I find particularly odd for me is that I really had only toyed with the idea of quitting ............
in the sense that I was only mildly interested in quitting...........but then when I found whyquit.com through Anne (brueinp) while at ediets, I liked her quit meter and so I went there and began to read, etc
then when I saw all the info there and Bryan's story, I began to really think about quitting seriously
I actually remembered my last quit and that I had gotten to the point of comfort and knew that I could probably do that again
What I didn't know about was the addiction and so it made so much sense why I went back to smoking............I actually knew (or thougth I knew) that I could smoke only a few a day and be content...........well we all know how far that went.........
anyway I just wanted to say that your post here has so much value and each time I see it I am reminded why I choose to NTAP
thanks
Cathy
Two months, one week, five days, 20 hours, 43 minutes and 14 seconds. 1477 cigarettes not smoked, saving $258.52. Life saved: 5 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

09 Aug 2001, 22:11 #26

LOL Grumpy, I like your hairstyle
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Aug 2001, 22:33 #27

Hey Grumpy Ol Linda,

I must say that this is the first time I've come across this post in my 2 months on this board, and it's one of the most important to someone like me. I was telling a friend yesterday that early on in my quit, the emotions were like spikes up and down, seeming out of the blue, changeable at the drop of a hat. Tears, anger and anxiety, Oh My! Now, they are still cycling, but the waves are smoother and longer and not as extreme.

I realized that I'll never feel "normal" again - if by "normal," one means what I felt like as a smoker. I'm building a new "normal," one that's more confident, more self-loving, more healthy, and absolutely smoke-free. Someone like that will have different emotions and reactions to things than someone who felt criminal smoking in front of others or indoors, self-recriminating for not being able to breathe going up steps, antsy to get away from meetings to get a fix, very annoyed to discover only one butt left in the house before bedtime, deflated for not seeming to find the courage or strength or will power to give up cigarettes even for a few hours.

So, to all you newbies out there who resonate with these ideas, let me tell you: it DOES GET BETTER! The junkie thinking that whispers in your ear that you'll feel "better" or "normal" or "right" or "able to get through _____" if you were to just smoke again CALMS WAY DOWN and sounds as silly as it really is as you go along!

:) Melissa

No smokes in 2 Months 2 Weeks 3 Days 11 Hours 33 Minutes 21 Seconds!
Not smoked 1569 cigarettes!
Not spent $211.90 on them!
Reclaimed 1 Wk 3 Days 21 Hrs 36 Mins 17 Secs of my life!
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:34

09 Aug 2001, 23:23 #28

Been smoke free for 1 month today. Have had the same thing happen. Fine for several days, then WHAM.........it is as if I just quit again. They tell me to stick it out.
Apparently the withdrawals can peak and valley rather than just slowly diminishing.

4 weeks, 2 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 29 seconds 611 cigarettes not smoked
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

23 Aug 2001, 06:05 #29

this is for our newest members stuggling through the first few weeks of learning to live lives free of nicotine. please note that attitude plays such a tremendous part of conquoring ANY addiction. look at each trigger as a confrontation with an old experience where a cigarette was used to deliver a deadly drug and now you are meeting it, greeting it and yes, defeating it without one. also know that with each victory over that trigger and each day you remain smokefree, you are getting closer and closer to the greatest feeling in the world....freedom. soon that feeling becomes a reality and there are really no words to describe it.

keep on keeping on...baby steps. before you know it, you will be and feel like a new person.

hugs to you all,
Linda
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Bev
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:34

16 Nov 2001, 20:53 #30

Linda-I read this a month or so after I quit and read it again this morning. Yes, I have experienced lots of peaks and valleys - but thought I was doing okay. I focused on not smoking and getting through each day. On October 31, I turned bronze and I am so proud. Throughout my quit I have experienced mental and physical symptoms that were pretty intense at times. I have continued to read and educate myself about my addiction (which continues to blow my mind). I have experienced a lot of fatigue and anxiety. Working has been okay, but my family has sure suffered!! My husband pointed out to me recently that I appeared continually unhappy and perhaps speaking with a professional would help me. I realized at that point that maybe I was in need of some help. I think some of symptoms were gradually increasing and it took a while for me to recognize this. I have been so happy about quitting and "fearful" of smoking again - I ignored everything else during these last months. Anyway, I visited my doctor earlier this week. He was very sympathetic and encouraged me several times during our conversation not to return to smoking. He reminded me that smoking IS an addiction and quitting can be a long bumpy road for some. Toward the end of our conversation I mentioned that I am not much of a pill taker and he said "okay" - but think about the number of drugs you were getting with each cigarette - not including nicotine. He prescribed Wellbutrin and I have begun taking it. I believe it is beginning to help. This site has helped me on the road to Freedom and I am grateful. Thanks for your encouraging words.
Bev
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

03 Jan 2002, 04:19 #31

rough time of the year now for most of us. The holidays over, winter setting in and lots of different emotions surfacing. remember...this only lasts a short time. KEEP SMILING!!
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

11 Mar 2002, 18:57 #32

for Milly
if you get a chance, treat yourself to a little something special today....anything that will make you smile...a CD, a book, a few fresh flowers, a plant, a new bottle of nail color....anything.

this feeling will pass, but in the meantime, there is no rule that says you can't treat yourself with something of beauty. Even a short walk can do wonders, especially in the spring which is full of the renewal of life. Listen to the birds, look for the new perrenials to poke their heads through the ground, listen to children laugh and remember that you too are healing as well and soon you will be feeling so much better.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is time...time to heal and time to adjust and time to realize that a whole new life is unfolding before your eyes....yours!

yqs, Linda
2 years plus
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

12 Mar 2002, 00:03 #33

EXCELLENT STRING TO BRING UP LINDA.

ROGER
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:33

03 May 2002, 07:04 #34

Wow...I really needed to read this today! There have been no specific triggers, just that "empty" feeling that my junkie thinks can be filled only with that killer drug, nicotine. I feel reassured knowing that I am still in the process of healing.

Thanks, Linda

Carolyn
Choosing to be nicotine free for two weeks, five days, 8 hours, 17 minutes and 19 seconds. 386 cigarettes not smoked, saving $58.04. Life saved: 1 day, 8 hours, 10 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

09 Jun 2002, 13:15 #35

I really needed to read this today. I found myself not only craving cigarettes, but overeating to compensate as well. Couldn't really figure out why I was doing this, but have been digging deep, journaling, and getting honest in order to stop this behavior. It was getting pretty depressing. How soon I forgot that this was junkie thinking? Gosh!
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