AuntBea (Silver)
AuntBea (Silver)

December 27th, 2002, 1:11 am #11

John, that was very beautiful. Congratulations on your new life.
Quote
Share

neddygirl1
neddygirl1

October 31st, 2003, 9:09 am #12

John, that really is beautiful.
For me it's the other way around. I was the smoker that had to make excuses not to see my dad because I hid my smoking from him.
We spent the whole day together last weekend, for the first time in years, as I could never go longer than a few hours without making an excuse, like you said, to run away and be a junkie. I could tell it really meant a lot to him, but he still doesn't know why I used to leave in a bad mood all the time.
Congratulations,
love net
Quote
Share

John (Gold)
John (Gold)

February 25th, 2004, 1:43 am #13

We can share our glory but it must be ours!
Last edited by John (Gold) on March 30th, 2009, 1:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Share

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

December 28th, 2004, 3:58 am #14

"My husband can't stand it when I smoke - that is why I quit." "My wife is trying to quit, so I will stop just to support her." "My kids get sick when I smoke in front of them. They cough, sneeze, and nag me to death. I quit for them." "My doctor told me not to smoke as long as I am his patient, so I quit to get him off my back." "I quit for my dog."

All these people may have given up smoking, but they have done it for the wrong reason. While they may have gotten through the initial withdrawal process, if they don't change their primary motivation for abstaining from smoking, they will inevitably relapse. Contrary to popular belief, the important measure of success in smoking cessation is not getting off of cigarettes, but rather the ability to stay off.

A smoker may quit temporarily for the sake of a significant other, but he will feel as if he is depriving himself of something he truly wants. This feeling of deprivation will ultimately cause him to return to smoking. All that has to happen is for the person who he quit for to do something wrong, or just disappoint him. His response will be, "I deprived myself of my cigarettes for you and look how you pay me back! I'll show you, I will take a cigarette!" He will show them nothing. He is the one who will return to smoking and suffer the consequences. He will either smoke until it kills him or have to quit again. Neither alternative will be pleasant.

It is imperative for him to come to the realization that the primary benefactor in his giving up smoking is himself. True, his family and friends will benefit, but he will feel happier, healthier, calmer and in control of his life. This results in pride and a greatly improved self-esteem. Instead of feeling deprived of cigarettes, he will feel good about himself and appreciative to have been able to break free from such a dirty, deadly, powerful addiction.

So, always keep in mind that you quit smoking for you. Even if no one else offers praise or encouragement, pat yourself on the back for taking such good care of yourself. Realize how good you are to yourself for having broken free from such a destructive addiction. Be proud and remember - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Joel
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

December 2nd, 2005, 8:45 pm #15

You cannot quit smoking for others. On the same token, you should never go back to smoking because of an act of another person also. I saw a post from a person who was angery at her boyfriend and because of an altercation considered taking a cigarette. Often the thought process involved in such an act is that you will hurt the other person if you take a cigarette. It is then considered a retaliatory response to a wrong inflicted by another individual.

Well the fact is if you take a cigarette to hurt someone else, you are the only one who is really going to get hurt in the long-run. In fact, I always tell my clinic participants that if in the future, any person ever ticks them off big time and they want to get even with the person, they should make every effort possible to get that other person to smoke. If the clinic person were to be the one to take the cigarette, they are the ones who are going to get burned by the process. If you get the other person to smoke, you are helping to speed along his or her death.

Hopefully there are not many people who take the advice literally. Although if someone did go out of their way to sabotage another person's quit, when it comes right down to it, it would still be the fault of the person who took the cigarette. Each and every person who has quit has to take responsibility for his or her own success or failure. Failure will only occur if a person only rationalizes an excuse to take a cigarette, such as the excuse to hurt another person. Success will only occur if a person decides that no matter what other people do around him or her or to him or her that he or she is going to continue to stick to the personal commitment he or she made to him or herself to never take another puff!

Joel
Quote
Share

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)

December 25th, 2005, 11:40 pm #16

Your selection of your primary quitting motivation, and keeping it adequately fueled, is critical to permanent nicotine dependency recovery. Quitting for your unborn child all but assures nicotine relapse once you convince yourself that the greatest dangers have passed. By quitting for you, and allowing your baby to inherit the fruits of your decision, you set the stage to permanently arrest your dependency.

John
Quote
Share

CassataAngel
CassataAngel

March 13th, 2006, 10:05 pm #17

I think this sentance sums up the last 96 hours for me.

Quit for you and only you. Only you can decide to Keep the Freedom from nicotine you have chosen . Only you can throw that hard won Freedom away by decising to readminister nicotine to you now clean blood and brain.

Why would I want to throw away what I have struggled to achieve! I might have chosen to quit for my teenager, but that was day 1. I stop now because I want to remain toxic free!!!!

Cassata
Quote
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

August 12th, 2006, 4:58 am #18

It is imperative for him or her to come to the realization that the primary benefactor in his giving up smoking is himself. True, his family and friends will benefit, but he will feel happier, healthier, calmer and in control of his life. This results in pride and a greatly improved self-esteem. Instead of feeling deprived of cigarettes, he will feel good about himself and appreciative to have been able to break free from such a dirty, deadly, powerful addiction. - from Joel's initial post above.
Quote
Share

tallmama
tallmama

August 12th, 2006, 8:04 am #19

So true! But the frightening thing is that I wonder how someone can give up their freedom! They have reached the top and felt what life is like without being chained to addiction. How can our minds forget all of that so quickly and go back to that filthy way of living? -Karen
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

September 4th, 2006, 3:40 am #20

You cannot quit smoking for others. On the same token, you should never go back to smoking because of an act of another person also. I saw a post from a person who was angery at her boyfriend and because of an altercation considered taking a cigarette. Often the thought process involved in such an act is that you will hurt the other person if you take a cigarette. It is then considered a retaliatory response to a wrong inflicted by another individual.

Well the fact is if you take a cigarette to hurt someone else, you are the only one who is really going to get hurt in the long-run. In fact, I always tell my clinic participants that if in the future, any person ever ticks them off big time and they want to get even with the person, they should make every effort possible to get that other person to smoke. If the clinic person were to be the one to take the cigarette, they are the ones who are going to get burned by the process. If you get the other person to smoke, you are helping to speed along his or her death.

Hopefully there are not many people who take the advice literally. Although if someone did go out of their way to sabotage another person's quit, when it comes right down to it, it would still be the fault of the person who took the cigarette. Each and every person who has quit has to take responsibility for his or her own success or failure. Failure will only occur if a person only rationalizes an excuse to take a cigarette, such as the excuse to hurt another person. Success will only occur if a person decides that no matter what other people do around him or her or to him or her that he or she is going to continue to stick to the personal commitment he or she made to him or herself to never take another puff!

Joel
Quote
Share

Kristen Goldx3
Kristen Goldx3

December 8th, 2006, 10:47 pm #21

From above:

Instead of feeling deprived of cigarettes, he will feel good about himself and appreciative to have been able to break free from such a dirty, deadly, powerful addiction. So, always keep in mind that you quit smoking for you. Even if no one else offers praise or encouragement, pat yourself on the back for taking such good care of yourself. Realize how good you are to yourself for having broken free from such a destructive addiction. Be proud and remember - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Quote
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

August 15th, 2008, 7:31 pm #22

Quit for you and only you.
Only you can decide to Keep the Freedom from nicotine you have chosen .
Only you can throw that hard won Freedom away by deciding to readminister nicotine to your now clean blood and brain.
Live Free by NTAP.

JJF - The Gold Club
Quote
Share

Joined: November 11th, 2008, 7:22 pm

September 9th, 2009, 5:53 pm #23

There may be no more horrible example of what happens when we try to quit for others than watching pregnant smoking women attempt to protect the developing life inside. Below is a tragic study summary showing that just 111 of 682 pregnant smoking women, only 16.3%, were able to stop smoking during pregnancy.

One of the greatest cessation education challenges of all is motiving a pregnant woman to do this for herself, so that her baby won't have a drug addict for a mom, and can inherit the fruits of her decision, including allowing the baby to bond her natural smells instead of passing smokers who happen to wear the stink of her brand of cigarettes. But as suggested in this study, most cessation facilitators have surprisingly little understanding of how a sense of self-deprivation gradually eats away and destroys whatever self motivations once existed. Still just one rule ... none today!

John (Gold x10)

Attitude towards cessation among French pregnant smokers:
Explaining the poor uptake of specialised support

Eur J Obstet Gynecol Reprod Biol. 2009 Aug 24. [Epub ahead of print]

Baha MY, Le Faou AL.

Abstract

OBJECTIVES: This study investigated pregnant smokers' profile and attitude towards cessation to explain who stops smoking during pregnancy and who is unsuccessful.

STUDY DESIGN: 682 pregnant smokers aged less than 50 had visited cessation services between 2004 and 2006. Pregnant smokers' profile was described using: socio-demographic details, psychological and medical history, characteristics of tobacco consumption and details of cessation interventions. At the end of the first visit, cessation specialists could record a brief report of the visit with additional information on the smoker. Abstinence was verified during follow-up visits with expired carbon monoxide measures, with a threshold of 5ppm. Associations between pregnant smokers' profile and subsequent cessation interventions outcomes were tested using descriptive statistics. Predictors of cessation were determined with multivariate logistic regression. Reports of the visits were analysed by open coding to determine main themes.

RESULTS: 80.5% of women were heavy smokers at baseline whatever the intervention outcome (10 cigarettes or more per day by the first visit). 16.3% (N=111) of women stopped smoking during their pregnancy. 59.8% (N=408) were registered during a first visit but never returned to a cessation service. The reports revealed that these women showed little motivation for complete cessation, despite being offered an intervention plan. They were more interested in maintaining a reduced tobacco consumption for stress relief. Women who lived or worked with smokers feared that they would not be able to maintain abstinence.

CONCLUSIONS: Despite being offered professional help, many pregnant heavy smokers do not feel ready to stop smoking. Their attitude towards cessation illustrates ambivalence. There is thus a need for coordinated efforts between antenatal care providers and smoking treatment specialists in order to enhance pregnant smokers' motivation to quit.



http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/journal/03012115

Last edited by JohnPolito on September 9th, 2009, 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Quote
Like
Share

johnnynonic GOLD
johnnynonic GOLD

September 23rd, 2009, 10:46 am #24

Just bumping this up for someone's reading pleasure.
Quote
Share

Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

March 7th, 2014, 2:45 pm #25

The importance of quitting for yourself

Recorded in response to following YouTube member's request:


Joel:

I quit 6 years ago now Joel and I wanted to drop you a note could you add a video talking about how when you quit you have all kinds of people supporting you and patting you on the back and then as time goes on nobody cares. I think it is an important point. I have seen this so much and I always to a degree pump myself up on how lucky and I do pat myself on the back sometimes and it's important for people who are just quitting to realize this. Thanks Joel for the updated videos too.
[/font]
Quote
Like
Share