Quitting can be a very lonely experience

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 30th, 2006, 2:44 am #21

I can remember this feeling the first week.....it helped me to take a walk, do some chores and find a comedy to watch that evening.
I also went to the library here and found good information on the whys and the reality that this too shall pass......as long as I didn't take a puff I was ahead of the world around me.

You can do this!!!!!!

Lianne.........
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

January 31st, 2007, 8:57 am #22

From above:

As you encounter others in your travels through life, let them know there is help out here for them. To help return the support, always be encouraging to people quitting and always make sure they understand to stay off smoking they need to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

October 13th, 2007, 8:31 am #23

Quitting is a worthwhile experience!

The adjustment period is temporary and the benefits are many.

Comfort will evolve and life without nicotine and smokes will become natural and easy.

That is why you see so many longterm quitters at Freedom lending support and giving a hand and celebrating themselves and everyone else who's quit.

Always remember why you quit.
Caring for your quit


Never take another puff, one day at a time.

Sal
Goldx4
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:07 am

October 13th, 2007, 5:26 pm #24

I come back to this post often...even put it in my notebook. The first month of quitting I was surrounded by my "fans." Friends & family who had spent years trying to get me to quit. Now they are quiet, content in the knowledge that I won't smoke again, more confident in me than I am in myself some days.

I didn't quit alone & I still need other quitters to keep me on track. With Freedom I am never alone in my quit...I am able to come here & get some words of encouragement of congratulations, or give a boost to someone who just made the committment. Thanks.
Sonja
2 months, three weeks, three days, NTAP
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

October 23rd, 2007, 10:54 am #25

"Quitting can be a very lonely experience"

That is exactly why this place is so important. It is the ONE place where others understand what Never Take Another Puff really means. I know I am not alone and I have support and there are people who understand.

Thank you!
Kristi
3 weeks and almost 6 days
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 8th, 2008, 1:20 pm #26

I hope this is a good place to tie in another similarly themed and important post - When no one else cares
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Joined: February 20th, 2009, 3:04 am

February 25th, 2009, 4:02 am #27

It does seem lonely at times. But I am sure it will get better and I do recall feeling lonely and left out when I was standing outside smoking a cigarette at 30 below!. This feeling will go away too as long as I "Never Take Another Puff"
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Joined: December 6th, 2008, 4:58 pm

November 10th, 2009, 2:46 pm #28

From above:

I saw in another thread where a few members felt a real benefit in knowing that they were not alone in the reaction that they were having in their quits. This thread here discusses the phenomena on how quitting in a group can ease some of the fears and lonliness encountered by some people when they are quitting smoking. There is a wide range of feelings that are actually normal reactions to quitting. But normal does not mean that every one gets the specific reactions, just that it is normal for some people to get the reactions.


I sometimes get concerned when a person is having a tough time a few weeks into a quit, comes on board and other members respond that they are having the same reaction and then, sometimes go overboard and say everyone gets these kind of reactions. This can scare people who are first thinking of quitting or just a few days into their quits into thinking that they had better give up now for they begin to think that it is normal that they are going to be having these kind of problems weeks later and they feel that they don't have the fight to get through this extended time period.


So for clarification there are a few points I want to make here. First, the thoughts that can happen are not usually as strong or problematic as the thoughts that people get in the first few days of a quit. Second, is that while some other people may have similar thoughts at some times, that there are also other people who do not and in fact, depending on the reactions involved, it may be that most people are not going to have the same reaction. Normal means things might happen to a few people, not that things will happen to all people.


There is only one thing that is normal and applies to everyone. That is that it is normal to expect to stay permanently in control and smoke free as long as a person sticks with the commitment he or she made to never take another puff!


Joel

Related videos:

Video Title Dial Up Migh Speed MP3 Length Created
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 4.07mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.8mb 6.92mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.5mb 8.05mb 17:42 11/12/06
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Joined: September 13th, 2010, 10:43 pm

September 22nd, 2010, 3:00 am #29

Quitting really does feel lonely at times.  I think its important for me to remember that I did this for me, not anyone else.  So it really is all about me.
But I do wish others understood more of what I have been going through. 
I am thankful though for all the support and encouragement that I have found here. 
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Joined: September 13th, 2010, 5:47 pm

October 11th, 2010, 3:18 pm #30

The loneliness is really for me the supressed manner in which you have to go through this. I have had highs so high I wanted to shout how free I felt. I also have wanted to be like a four year old (probably was) and tell EVERYONE that I just quit smoking. You know like a little girl who got a new toy and tells every adult in the store? I feel like a got a bright, shiny new toy. I know I did give myself and my family a wonderful gift. I enjoy it everyday and they will too. I guess I am just the one who knows how much it cost (work invested) to obtain and the cost to secure! You appreciate things more when you have to work for them I guess! My friends & most of my family still smoke and I really can't tell them how wonderful it has been to be free. I could go on and on. They would think I am being fake or something. I tell my husband but after a while I have to give him a break!

You know what? I would never want to join the actively addicted again. With Freedom I am not alone, the folks here are my quit family and the mentors are as strict and caring as good parents should be. We may be alone in our physical lives but I have found this network more than adequate and a blessing. Thanks for being here!
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Joined: October 16th, 2010, 7:53 pm

October 17th, 2010, 8:43 pm #31

Lonely for me too! I have people not believing that I actually have quit, who are continually asking me if I am back smoking. Seems to be the reverse of supporting me, in my quit. It's like they expect me to fail.

The articles and posts here, counterbalance a lot of that lonely/isolation stuff, I guess each of us, quietly endure to varying degrees.

mo
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Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

October 17th, 2010, 9:00 pm #32

Here is another string addressing this issue: 


[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]When did people start to take your quit seriously?[/font][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF] [/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]
[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Another side concept also in that string:[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]
[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]I saw where a couple of members have made a point of saying that this quit is for them so that others taking the quit serious is not important. They are right in this assessment, whether other people take your quit serious or not is not important to your success. What is important is that you take it serious. 

But there is one side benefit to quitting that this issue does touch upon. There are smokers around you, possibly family members or friends who still think that quitting is impossible. They may feel that when a person who smoked like just them tries to quit, that they will eventually fail because that is just the way it is supposed to be. 

Your quit just may help in shaking up this illusion that they have. When a smoker starts to realize that you did quit and also recognize that you are intent on staying off, it may very well stir something inside of him or her that maybe there is hope for him or her too. Even non-smokers around you may be using you as an example to help another smoker they know. 

So yes, your quit is for you and you are the primary benefactor of the benefits. But don't be surprised if just maybe one day someone else close to you quits and tells you that your success helped influenced him or her. That person too then will be the primary benefactor of his or her quit, and both of you will be able to be shining examples for others of how staying smoke free is as simple as staying committed to never take another puff! 

Joel
[/font]
Last edited by Joel Spitzer on October 17th, 2010, 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: October 16th, 2010, 7:53 pm

October 17th, 2010, 9:28 pm #33

@ Joel:

From your first post in this thread:

[font=ARIAL,GEORGIA,'TIMES NEW ROMAN',TIMES,SERIF] When did people start to take your quit seriously?[/font][font=ARIAL,GEORGIA,'TIMES NEW ROMAN',TIMES,SERIF]   

"
[/font] I suspect a lot of newer members are encountering great skepticism as to the odds of you actually quitting from family members and friends".

I guess, after the many years of my smoking and failed previous attempts, has given the people closest to me, the right to be a little skeptical.

Good point you made earlier. It is only important that I am serious in my remaining quit. Also, who knows how many of those who are still smoking, are secretly (or not so secretly, by their questions), are watching how I am doing, to learn for themselves, how it might be for them to quit.

Thanks!
mo
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Joined: August 17th, 2010, 4:35 pm

October 20th, 2010, 4:13 pm #34

Something I've never been aware of before, the chance to be a good example.  Actually, I was inspired many years ago by a favorite folk singer who'd kicked both booze and smoking, cold turkey for each.  I managed to quit drinking, but of course did less well with the smoking...till now.  Now, yes now, of the double fists of that famous singer.  And, aside from my natural selfish concerns, I hope to be a good example of the power to quit both.  Whatever pains he went through, the singer never made anything of it.  All he said, basically, was that quitting was something he needed to do.  And that he took care of business.  Along those lines, I keep my trials and tribulations to my posts on site here.  Whenever anyone outside asks, I keep my replies simple and upbeat:  if I can do it, so can you and there's a website you might want to visit...
Gratefully Gold

I escaped from the prison of smoking on August 14, 2010.  
[font]The best revenge is quitting well![/font] 
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February 3rd, 2011, 3:37 pm #35

Wow! - thanks Joel!  so much stuff on this website that helps.  My husband and I both quit on January 15th, 2011.  I quit cold turkey with support from whyquit.com.  My husband got laser therapy - he thinks I'm foolish to do this "on my own".  I will not sabotage our recoveries but I know I'm not alone like he thinks.Hey - success is all that matters!!
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Joined: September 20th, 2011, 6:36 pm

September 22nd, 2011, 6:37 pm #36

This was so helpful!  Thank you.  I am feeling pretty alone.
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