Quitting can be a very lonely experience

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 Jul 2004, 01:55 #11

The people who are often the loneliest quitters are those who were closet smokers. They cannot share their thoughts or feelings with others around them because saying that they are having a bad time quitting is exposing the lie that they have been living for who knows how long. Along with the other problems of being a closet smoker, (see The Closet Smoker), is the isolated feelings that go along with having to be a closet quitter. To avoid ever having to live in either of these two states is as simple now as knowing to never take another puff!


marty (gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

06 Sep 2004, 21:53 #12

"But even the longer-term quitters still keep the significance of their quits at a level of paramount importance."

I just want to add my voice to this thread, and confirm that this is exactly true of me. Even now after nearly four years, hardly a day goes by that I don't remind myself of my quit ... and smile. I rate quitting as probably the most important decision I've taken since I got married, and I still recall that decision with a certain amount of awe and wonderment.

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

07 Sep 2004, 21:09 #13

As Marty points out, Freedom's more senior members are likely not here posting and supporting the group's newest arrivals because of any challenge of our own. To the contrary, it's likely that the calm and quiet that now fills their mind is so soothing in itself that they can't Image imagine ever giving it back. It's likely that they want to help you see and feel what it's like to restore neurochemical sensitivities, to arrest your dependency and end the mandatory nicotine/dopamine/adrenaline roller coaster ride, and to smile as they watch each of you gradually learn to function comfortably in a world surrounded by the chemical that once controlled you.

I join Marty in sharing my awe and wonderment at remaining free these past five years. To be frank, in the early days I never would have thought it possible. Yes, except for reading about them in old posts, my own personal memories of the early challenges have all but evaporated. It's another important reason so many of us return here to Freedom. You see, we rely upon the dreams and challenges of our newest arrivals to help remind us of the amazing journey we've made.

Support truly is a two way street and although it may sound strange, we thank each of our newbies for helping us recall what it was like living and planning life around that next mandatory feeding. You may be lonely on your own but here at Freedom the benefits are mutual. Thank you Freedom. There was always only one rule ... no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff. John (Gold x5)

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

12 Apr 2006, 15:57 #14

I have been quit for 4 Weeks, 2 Days, 2 hours, 56 minutes and 13 seconds (30 days). I have saved £78.31 by not smoking 301 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 1 hour and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 13/03/2006 06:00
thats how I feel today my husband and daughter both smoking and ignoring my quit
Im so glad Ive got this site

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

13 Apr 2006, 11:57 #15

My hubby, a non-smoker, (never smoked) has completely ignored my quit. I had quit for a week, before I finally gave in and mentioned it to him. Oh yea, he noticed that I had not been spending so much time in the garage. " Yea, thats good for you, so how about you lose some weight now?"
Anyway, we must toot our own horn and thank goodness for all the wonderful support we receive here! I am so thankful for all my quit angels!

Imageaunt valeria
I have been quit for 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 3 hours and 27 minutes (48 days). I have saved $132.38 by not smoking 962 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Days, 8 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2/23/2006 7:30 PM

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:19

22 Apr 2006, 10:56 #16

"Being lonely from being one of the only smokers in your family and social network can last a lifetime for a person who does not quit."
Well, that WAS my lot in life, and even though there are som many reasons to quit, that was the one that did it.

Bob - Free and Healing for Eleven Days, 14 Hours and 54 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 14 Hours, by avoiding the use of 465 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $116.27.

JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

02 May 2006, 04:49 #17

For Ken -

Support is available 7/24/365. Education is available to all, anytime, anywhere. And it's all free for the taking.

No need to be lonely any longer.
Be Free, clean of nicotine, naturally, by deciding for this very moment, to NTAP!

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:53

22 Jul 2006, 21:18 #18

Joel - Trying to quit smoking has always been a very lonely experience and until now, I have not been successful. I am not ever alone as long as I turn on this computer and go to the one place I know I belong....and that is right here!!!!

At first, the people in my personal life were, once again, very happy that I made this decision, but although they didn't say, I'm certain, they didn't believe I would carry through...just another "I quit" story, they thought. Now that it's been 17 days, those that do smoke ask if I am still quit, but really do not want to discuss it any further...I'm sure they are not interested in hearing what the positives of stopping smoking have been for me and I often get the feeling, they ask because a part of them would really like for me to say "no, I broke down and didn't make it"....that would justify them continuing to kill themselves. So why would they want to discuss my success? I know when I was in denial, I didn't want to discuss something I wasn't willing to acknowledge.

The people who do not smoke don't really bring it up, I suppose because smoking is not, and never has been, an important part of their daily thoughts and actions, so it's not something they would normally even think about. (I do have one friend who quit 2 years ago, and she has been very supportive and understanding, but I cannot talk to her 24-7 nor anytime I feel the need to).

Thanks to this site, I do not allow myself to be alone with the thoughts of the "aah" that would never take place with that first puff. When the thoughts filter in, I come here. It has worked every time!!!

I would never have been able to get to even 17 days without the support of everything and everyone connected with whyquit.com. Just wanted you to know that when I get lonely in my quit, I come here as soon as I can get here. I know when I sign off, I will feel 100% better. Thank you for giving all of us this wonderful place to go.Image

Barb - I quit 17 days & 21 hours ago and will NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:58

23 Jul 2006, 00:37 #19

I totally agree. It has been exactly the same for me. Ive tried so many times before and failed.
Now I never feel alone. When I don't know what to do with myself or I feel it's time for my "reward". ( how sad I would reward myself with a disgusting cig.) I come and read, read, read.
It's made all the difference.
Congratulations on your success!!!! Keep up the good work !
Your QS,
I have been quit for 5 Days, 17 hours, 34 minutes and 40 seconds (5 days). I have saved $13.75 by not smoking 68 cigarettes. I have saved 5 hours and 40 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 7/16/2006 4:00 PM

Joined: 10 Jan 2009, 00:15

30 Jul 2006, 02:05 #20

I am feeling that lonliness very strongly this weekend after the euphoria of quitting cold turkey 1 w 5d 2hr and 21 minutes ago. Even though I don't know anyone within 20 miles who still smokes I can see how easy it would be to ask a stranger if I could bum just one.....smokers are delighted to help hook another addict back into their stinking club.
I put this thinking aside, but at the same time try to accept the lonliness as a valid feeling. I'm having a rough time right now but have faith that I can never take another puff.