"Please don't smoke."

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Feb 2003, 20:27 #11

I just saw a post where one member was saying how angry she got when she saw people smoking now and how stupid it all was. I think she meant how angry she was at herself for having smoked for so long, but this feeling can often be interpreted as being angry at smokers and thinking that they are stupid. People don't smoke because they are stupid, but they smoke because they are drug addicts.

Keep in mind, whey you are dealing with people who have smoked for over 40 years, most of them got addicted before there was ever any health warnings on tobacco. They didn't know it was dangerous when they started. People smoking longer than 10 years didn't know that they were taking up an addictive product. Yes they knew it was dangerous--but they never intended on smoking that much or smoking that long when they first took it up.

Even people taking it up today are not sufficiently warned of how addictive and how dangerous this product is. Of course they know its dangerous and they now hear it is addictive, but very few people realize just how dangerous and how addictive.

If people are asked to rank cigarette smoking dangers compared to the dangers posed by pollution, or illegal drugs, or alcohol induced illnesses, or violence in our society, or the risks of being killed by a drunk driver, or the risk of infectious diseases like pneumonia or AIDS, cigarettes may end up in the middle or maybe even at the bottom of the list. In America, more people die from smoking than people killed in ALL accidents, murders, all suicides, all infectious diseases, all diabetes, all cirrhosis and all olf the AIDS deaths all combined.

Most people don't grasp the true magnitude of the dangers. Also, must people don't realize the true grip of the addiction that nicotine exerts. Worse of all, very few people are given any real understanding of how to take control of the addiction once it has been established. The combination of all of this lack of understanding leaves people ripe from taking up smoking and totally unprepared for getting off of it when they want to quit.

Try to see smokers for who they really are. They are drug addicts who very often do not have the understanding and tools in place to break free of their addiction. You do have the understanding and hopefully at some point they may turn to you for help. When they do share with them what we have shared with you. Help them understand that you were once where they were--you didn't understand why you smoked, why you should stop, how to stop and how to stay off. But once you learned all of this you were able to quit and have proven by example that you have been able to stay off. The example you will have proven is that you have stuck with your commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

14 Mar 2003, 22:43 #12

Even when I do school prevention programs, I never plead with the kids not to smoke. I simply tell them that I will show them what smoking is, what it will do to them if they take it up and then whether or not they take it up is totally up to them. But I just want them to be aware of the implications of smoking before they take it up. I always warn them at the end of the program that they should not take up smoking with the idea that they will simply get tired of it one day, or if they ever find out it is hurting them they will simply quit. It will likely get to a point where they want to quit one day, or worse yet, get to a point where they have to quit one day and they will not be able to do it. I just want them to understand that point while they still have a choice in the matter. What they do with that information is totally up to them.

The same message applies to our adult members too. Whether or not you stay off of smoking is also totally up to you. If your decision is to stay off smoking then it is imperative for you to understand that to keep that decision in place you must know to stay in control you must never take another puff!

Joel
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Dec 2003, 21:10 #13

ImageI would advise everyone when dealing with others here, and maybe more importantly, people in your real world, your family and friends, make sure that you come across as offering support, advice and information as opposed to making requests or demands on another person not to smoke.
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

07 Oct 2004, 22:16 #14

Reply
Image
ImageRecommend Message 56 of 56 in Discussion
From: ImageImageFryed2aCrisp Sent: 10/7/2004 9:08 AM
Impressive!....This advice was first written January, 2002, and I went back and read a bunch of the responses all the way back to that time.

Joel....I cannot thank you enough for freely offering your expertise and experience to all of us on the world-wide net!

Unselfish, caring, and genuine.....all come to my mind. Wish I was close enough to give a hug...or handshake, if you're not the hug accepting kind, lol.
America has a phobia about men hugging
Well... I don't want to start any debates here, just want to express how happy I am I found you and this group.
"Fryed2aCrisp" (Larry) - Enjoying my newfound Freedom and Healing for Five Days, 15 Hours and 7 Minutes, while being allowed to live an extra 7 Hours, by avoiding "lighting up" 96 nasty cigarettes that would have chewed $8.62 from my income.



Hello Larry:

I had to edit the post a bit because as you know we really keep all politically charged topics off the board. I guess I will let you in on something though. I get nervous when clinic people come up and look like they are going to hug me. I am never sure during the withdrawal process that the aren't really coming up to choke me.
Reply

Kristen Goldx3
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

29 Dec 2005, 05:38 #15

Through the years countless people would say to me "Please don't smoke". It wasn't until my body told me "Please don't smoke" that I opened up and listened and chose the path of freedom and healing one day at a time.

Kristen
Reply

happybeaming
Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 23:42

02 Jun 2006, 08:15 #16

Thanks for posting this today. It is exactly what I wanted to hear.

I had a terrible craving today, but recognized exactly what it really was........just a desire for the familiar ability to feel like something external made me feel better.

I would never have gotten here....to where I recognize the difference between a fantasy of what I used to think cigarettes did for me.....to the truth that I have lived in a fantasy that isn't real, doesn't really exist except the value I gave it.................to the now, without knowing that I had given that nicotine power over me. And, now, the most important thing about my quit, is to finally have power where it ought to be........my inner guidance. And someone pleading with me not to quit, even myself, doesn't really make a diddly squat of difference when I have this absolutely convincing knowing there's no validity in all of the "thoughts" in my mind that used to seem real to me in the past.

I made up my mind I'm through playing games with my mind! And I AM!

Doretta
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

19 Jun 2006, 21:48 #17

We ask our members to write us and give us a little time to respond before throwing away his or her quit. When we do this we are not telling the person not to smoke or to wait for us to have a chance to tell them not to smoke. Rather we are just trying to get the opportunity to talk to the person and point out the full implications of smoking and make sure that he or she fully understands the full ramifications of a relapse.

If the person still desires to smoke after such information is fully understood, well then smoking is an option for him or her. But if he or she decides that his or her desire is to still stay smoke free, then he or she will be reminded that the only way to stay free from cigarettes is to never take another puff!

Joel
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

30 Oct 2007, 06:53 #18

For anyone who thinks we are out to make them not smoke. It is not our goal to make anyone do anything. We are here trying to help people realize that they are in full control of their quits and that they have total choice of whether they will be actively feeding their addiction or staying free of the control nicotine will take if given an opportunity to get back into their systems. If your desire is to save your health and your life you only logical choice is to stay committed to never take another puff!

Joel
Reply